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7 Things I Wish I'd Known When I Was New to BDSM

There is always time for a bit of education and knowledge before exploration. It can keep you safe, it can make you more aware, it can keep you safe and it can be fun. What 7 things did I learn that I wish I had known a LONG time ago?

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Safewords Don't Automatically Mean You're Safe

There are lots of reasons and issues which propelled the existence of the Safe Word in the BDSM community. Many were quite valid and useful to distinguish the community from its ugly cousin ‘physical abuse’. The issue of consent being the bottomline.

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Carte Blanche - Repeating Misbehavior Patterns

I'm going to talk about a submissive's mindset when it comes to repeat patterns in behavior and why we just can't keep our feet on the straight and narrow.

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Processing Pain in Play: What is the Benefit of Pain, Anyway?

It is important to understand what we get from experiencing pain in a play aspect. Inside are just a few of the benefits of experiencing pain in play.

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Changing for Master While Honoring and Maintaining Ourselves

The role of the Dominant is to provide a safe environment for the sub to express his or her submissiveness and be able to grow. The role of the sub is to provide a safe environment for the Dominant to express His or Her Dominance and be able to grow.

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What Does Breaking the Rules and Testing a Dominant's Limits Help You Learn?

I had a question sent to me the other day asking for suggestions and strategies that a novice submissive could use to make sure they don't break the rules while they are still learning which sparked this topic for me.

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Male Submission - Fantasy vs Reality

Many submissive men have fantasies which have been developed over many years, sometimes leading to a focus on extreme and/or specific situations despite not having experienced anything. This may lead to misunderstandings with potential partners between fantasies and actual desires as the sub man may not even be able to recognize the difference at first.

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Always Striving to be a Perfect Submissive Leaves You Less of Yourself - Here's Why

I think there are a couple of good reasons people strive for perfection, but what we tend to forget is that if we are constantly doing that we can never truly enjoy where we are at any point.

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Figure Out What to Expect From a Relationship Before Entering a Relationship

How do I figure out exactly what it is that I expect in a BDSM relationship?

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Ideas for Taking Care of Your Dominant from a Distance

I'm wondering if you have any advice for how to look after your dom long distance?

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