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Content related to "The Curse of Masochism"

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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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All Female Submissives are Bisexual and Other BDSM Myths

The world is full of false truths. These false truths tend to be the assumptions of the uninformed or the beliefs of those who want to scare novices out of their wits. Many of these are because of a narrow view of the world or an inability to accept varying viewpoints. In this post I’m going to discuss some of the most popular BDSM myths that novices here and what the truth really is.

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Do I have to Like Pain to be Submissive?

If you are a submissive, or learning about submission and don't like pain or don't think you like pain then that doesn't mean you aren't submissive.

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Processing Pain and Being a Masochist

Being that I’m a masochist, I love pain. I’ve never really thought about it or analyzed what that means really, but reading other people’s blogs has always helped me see that saying I’m masochist is just another huge personal term in BDSM as a whole. So, to think it though, this is what being a masochist means to me. I eroticize pain.

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Exploring Endorphins from Pain Play for the First Time - A Point of View

I've always thought of myself as a complete wuss when it comes to pain. So it stands to reason that when I first started exploring the lifestyle, my fascination with all things painful was greatly tempered with uncertainty.

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What a Pain: Does Pain Tolerance Change Over Time?

Tolerance will grow in time, and will change. Most of the fun in exploring bdsm is in trying new things together, nobody can have everything thrown at them on day one.

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Explain It To Me: The Draw of Being Spanked

Despite being commonplace in kinky relationships, explaining the appeal of being spanked to someone who is new to the scene or curious about it can be difficult.

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Dealing with Guilt as a Submissive

When it comes to dealing with guilt, you have to talk about it. You can’t just shove it somewhere deep inside and expect that to take care of everything. Neither can you throw yourself into an activity and consider it done. You have to talk it out with the person, no matter how difficult that may be.

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Things Have Changed and I Feel Insecure In My Relationship

Advice for a submissive who is feeling lost and insecure in their relationship when the sex life changes. Kayla tackles this really difficult topic.

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Be More Specific About Pain - When a Tool is More Than Sting or Thud

Why did we get stuck on sting and thud as the only two possibilities to describe what we like in pain play anyway? I don’t think we’ve expanded the types of play activities that much in recent years to not know of other sensations than stingy and thuddy to describe them.

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