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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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Submissive Mindset

The submissive mindset is the inner joy that manifests in many ways for each person. When someone says they have to be in the submissive mindset it means they have to feel a connection with what they are doing and the bliss of service and submission. But for many it’s hard to maintain or achieve in the first place! Let’s dive into the sticky details.

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BDSM vs Abuse

The core of BDSM is consent. No one will disagree with this. We are all aware, hopefully, that abuse is not consensual. If you feel that what is going on is ‘not right’ then you certainly should investigate if it is abuse or not. Some of what you may feel could not be abuse at all, but it’s good to know for sure. Learn how you can see the differences for yourself.

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Processing Pain in Play: Negative Pain Management Techniques

All negative ways to manage pain don't get the full benefits of the pain and neither does the sadist.

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Fainting, Headaches and Nausea: Facing Sudden Illness During Play/Scene Time

When we play we have a chance that the blissful time we are experiencing will end well or may end suddenly from something unexpected. Yes we do everything we can to avoid having to stop play but when sudden illness takes hold the best thing is to stop and treat the problem.

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After "Red" : How to Manage the Aftermath When You've Used Your Safeword

You should never fear using your safeword. There are ways to deal with the guilt, disappointment, fear, sense of failure for using your safeword and the failing to use your safeword at all that many of us feel at one time or another.

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Entering the Community: Who You'll Meet and What to Expect at a Munch

Everyone is nervous to attend their first munch. Here are the types of people you might encounter when you go.

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Meeting Someone Face to Face Is an Important Early Step in Online Dating

When looking for that compatible partner to spend your life with, determining face to face if they are attractive, how well you get along and many other factors is an important early step; even if you plan to continue discussions online after meeting.

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Must I Always Wait for My Dominant to Tell me What to Do?

You aren't a doormat. As a submissive, you can have autonomy and an active submission you can be proud of. So, must you always wait for orders? You tell me.

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The Emotional Side of Sub Drop and Why It Happens More In Committed Relationships

There is a more intense side of Sub Drop that gets very little attention because for each person it is different and describing how to recover can take many forms. If not cared for, you could go into depression just from one play session. The endorphins and other hormones released during play leave your body in such a way that it takes the time to rebuild the balance of hormones in your system. You could feel like you have a hang over or partied too hard the night before, you could feel lost and depressed for hours or days.

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