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How To Find Someone to Play With at a Party and Other Negotiation Basics

One of the more daunting prospects as a single kinky person or someone who is open to casual play is approaching others at a play party with whom you might be interested playing. It’s often called pick up play because you are simply trying to pick someone up for the purpose of play. Whether you are a top or a bottom, the cold approach is scary. But there is help!

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5 Myths About Submissives and Submission

Let’s talk about the different myths surrounding submissives and submission. Some may surprise you.

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Topping from the Bottom

Topping from the bottom is a misunderstood term in BDSM, especially if you are a novice. Topping from the bottom is when you simultaneously adopt both roles. This could be in the form of giving commands, refusing requests or moving to control the location of impacts during play. Generally, it is frowned upon to try to force the Dominant’s hand to do something they do not wish to do.

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Service Submission

Service. It’s something that a lot of submissive say they are into giving. While it’s quite clear that the definition means that we are helping or doing work for someone, performing a kindness or favor, when we apply that term to D/s it tends to take on a more indepth role. Let’s explore some of the ways service submission exists in D/s relationships.

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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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SM and Impact Play

Impact play is a human sexual practice in which one person (the bottom) is struck (usually repeatedly) by another person (the Top) for the sexual gratification of either or both parties.There are number of activities that qualify as impact play. Let’s check out some common and not so common ones as well as explore sadomasochism.

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With the Stroke of a Cane: Enjoying Caning

I'm fairly new to caning, but I've discovered that I like it a lot (even if I can't take as much as some people can). I was afraid of canes for a long time because I had heard they're rough pain-wise. While I like pain I'm not truly a pain slut. And it's true, they are rough - the impact is concentrated along one thin area. But I find that a caning puts me into subspace wonderfully, perhaps better than any other implement.

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Entering Subspace Do's and Don'ts

Subspace. It doesn't happen to everyone, nor does it happen every single time you play. Sometimes it can happen if you are in an erotic exchange but not playing. You need to know what you should and shouldn't do when subspace is imminent.

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The Curse of Masochism

I very very often HATE that I’m a masochist.

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Make Your Own Step-by-Step Guide for a Scene

Do you have any tips, useful links/books, or a how-to of sorts that could be followed step by step for our first try at scening?

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