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Content related to "Be More Specific About Pain - When a Tool is More Than Sting or Thud"

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For Male Submissives

While this site is predominantly written by and for female submissives, a lot of what we write about can apply to male submissives too. But there are topics that are specific to male submissives and relationships where the male is submissive and we’ve curated them into a single collection for you here.

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The BDSM Safety Mantras

The mantra “Safe, Sane, Consensual” (SSC) is probably one of the first things that someone new to the scene learns. But did you know there is more than one mantra you can choose to apply to your style of play? “Risk Aware Consensual Kink” (RACK) is an alternative and more common preference for the experienced player. The key to them both is Consent.

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Setting Goals

No matter how you go about it, setting realistic goals and then working towards success is a step by step process. You have the tools available to make changes in your life if you want them. It doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Treat them like anything else in your life worth doing and you can make it. Use the resources below to make the progress stick.

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Sub Space: The Ultimate Frontier for BDSM Play

Subspace is a mental and physical response to the high levels of endorphins produced during play. It can manifest in many different ways and no one subspace is the same as another.

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How To Help Your Dominant Recover From Play

It is very important to make sure that the Dominant recovers from the session in whatever way that is best for them. We know what usually helps a submissive recover; a fuzzy blanket, attention, sleep, care for wounds, etc. But what about a Dominant? What do they need?

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Submitting to Pain When You Are Not a Masochist

not everyone who is a bottom or submissive is in this lifestyle to experience pain. It must be daunting for the newbie who does not enjoy pain to come to a munch or party and be faced with the question “What are you into?” The newbie who likes sensual play or enjoys service may feel that s/he is not quite living up to the expectations of the lifestyle.

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Processing Pain in Play: Negative Pain Management Techniques

All negative ways to manage pain don't get the full benefits of the pain and neither does the sadist.

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Perspectives: Flogging

Flogging remains one of my favorite activities and KnyghtMare is pretty good with one or two floggers (Florentine-style), and he teaches it in classes in the area. As with the other Perspectives posts I wanted to share with you how it feels for a submissive to be the receiver of a flogging.

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How Sub Space Affects Sexual Sensations During Play

What we can all agree on is that subspace alters your senses during play. I'm going to talk about why orgasms fail to happen during subspace and the very tiny minority that can achieve orgasm during subspace.

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About Punishment

Punishment is one of those areas which is not what it seems. Before you can develop tools or methods of punishment you have to look at the concepts behind the issue itself.

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