The Formal Collar

The Formal Collar is offered by the Dominant with the intent to formalize the bond and attachment between themselves and their submissive. It is a recognition of commitment, deep emotional feelings, devotion, mutual respect, and consideration. It expresses a belief that the Dominant and submissive share similar ideals and a genuine and growing desire to share each other’s lives over perhaps the rest of their lives.

Some Thoughts on Domestic Service from a Male Submissive

When luna indicated that she was going to emphasize domestic service at the Sub Guide this month, it reminded me that when I tell people I am primarily a service submissive I am frequently asked: “What is that?”. The follow-up question is often, “What do you get out of that?” It seemed an opportune time to tackle these questions. (Sometimes the follow-up question is “What are you secondarily, then?” To which I always reply, “Whatever She needs me to be, of course.”)

So what is a service submissive? Simply put, it’s a sub (male or female) that takes care of household chores and similar tasks. Cooking, cleaning and other domestic duties might be performed by a service submissive. We essentially take the role of butler, maid, chauffeur, gardener or cook.

What Makes a Good Dominant?

I think there are a few characteristics that may exist in common, a lot of which are often found in a good 'normal' relationship too!

To Hug or Not To Hug: Etiquette for Giving Hugs in BDSM Situations

Hands and arms embracing another person, so what is wrong with a hug?

BDSM and the Media: The Influence of Media on the Perception of BDSM

There’s always going to be a portrayal of BDSM in popular culture because of the level of taboo the lifestyle seems to radiate and it’s something that will never change.

Coming Out As Kinky: Food for Thought

I am glad to help reduce the stigma surrounding kink. If you are considering coming out kinky, give this article a read.

31 Days of Submissive Journaling: Day 28 - Quotes: Inspiration Leads to Motivation

How you use quotes when journaling can lead you to revelations about your own life. It's more than simply writing the quote in your journal. It's about reflecting on the meaning or idea behind it and then applying it.

BDSM and Kids: When Kids Ask Awkward Questions

As a kinkster, there’s a chance that, eventually, they’ll see or hear something and ask you about it. You’ve answered questions about poop, penises, and what those ducks were doing to one another in the park (or was that just me?). You’ve got this.

Don't Judge A Label By Its Cover: Dispelling Stereotypes of D/s Roles

Personality traits do no indicate what label that person may wear in D/s or BDSM. Learn more ways we apply stereotypes and how to dispel your mistruths.

3 Ways You Can Learn About Your Limits When You Are New to BDSM

Learning what you might like or dislike is a challenge, but not one you can’t face with the right tools. In this article, I’m going to cover what types of limits there are and then three ways you can begin to figure out what your own limits are no matter how new you are to BDSM.