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Content related to "7 Things I Wish I'd Known When I Was New to BDSM"

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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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BDSM Checklists

If you’ve just started out in BDSM and have asked a few questions, it is very likely that you have been directed to use a checklist to become familiar with what you may or may not like in play and roles and fetishes.A checklist can be very helpful for you when you are first starting out. You can learn what you might like to try and get answers to things you don’t know about. Some of the more detailed checklists can seem overwhelming but please realize that you don’t have to like everything. Pick and choose and be honest.

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Start Here: New to BDSM Pack

So, you’ve discovered this great big world of BDSM and you just don’t know what to do now. Welcome! I suggest you start here in learning some of the vocabulary you’ll find around the internet and I want to help you get your head around all the things you’ll encounter, just a bit at a time.

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BDSM vs Abuse

The core of BDSM is consent. No one will disagree with this. We are all aware, hopefully, that abuse is not consensual. If you feel that what is going on is ‘not right’ then you certainly should investigate if it is abuse or not. Some of what you may feel could not be abuse at all, but it’s good to know for sure. Learn how you can see the differences for yourself.

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The Popularity of BDSM

If your only view of BDSM is the online community then you could believe that BDSM and being kinky is a huge playground and that a lot of people participate in it openly. And you’d be wrong. While a a good portion of the US population admits they are kinky (10% according to NCSF) most of those are not going to participate in a BDSM community or step further than silk blindfolds and light bondage.

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How to Make the Most Out of Your Bedroom BDSM

Bedroom BDSM is the most common form of BDSM relationship there is. Let's talk about how to make your bedroom only BDSM relationship special.

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Separating Fantasy from Reality - Using Erotic Novels to Find Truth

Fantasies are great lived and relived in our minds but there comes a time when our desire to experience what we've read is strong. Make sure you have all the facts and place yourself firmly in reality before you try to explore them. It will mean a safer more enjoyable time for you and your partner.

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How Do I Know What I Like? I'm Brand New

We more experienced people do have a habit of looking at new people funny when they don't know what they are into. I think we forget that we were there once, that we floundered and stuttered when asked if we liked bondage or spanking, or if we were a Dominant or submissive. So, hopefully, we'll learn from this little article too - that we were there once.

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Male Submission - Fantasy vs Reality

Many submissive men have fantasies which have been developed over many years, sometimes leading to a focus on extreme and/or specific situations despite not having experienced anything. This may lead to misunderstandings with potential partners between fantasies and actual desires as the sub man may not even be able to recognize the difference at first.

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How Do I Know If Submission Is Right For Me?

Most people will say that their kinky interest always started with turn-ons.

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