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The Importance of Safety, Risk-Awareness and Consent in Pre-Scene BDSM Negotiation

Negotiation and consent are the primary ways BDSM is distinguished from abuse - they are essential parts of kinky play. But far too many people gloss over how important it is to be really good at negotiating so that you can have great kinky fun. And you want to have kinky fun, right?

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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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Too Young for BDSM - Responding to the Questions I Get from Underage Persons

At least once a month I get an email from someone that is under 18 asking very important questions about BDSM and their curious interest. Here are some of the questions and answers I generally give these persons.

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Opening Up: A Guide To Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino

If you are in an open relationship of any kind or are thinking about entering into an open relationship or thinking about opening up your current relationship, you need to read this book.

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Submissive Advent - Day 20: Christmas Cookies

Get all your supplies to make a batch of your favorite Christmas cookies.

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Fifty Shades of Grey, Consent and the Media's Representation of Kink

Unfortunately, the 50 Shades of Grey series is the litmus test that the mainstream media will now use to judge what those of us in the community consider to be a huge part of who we are.

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Book Review: Ageplay: From Diapers to Diplomas

The emotional connection, power dynamics, types of both littles and caregivers, stigmas that we have to deal with from people who don’t understand the dynamic, and educational resources such as a negotiation form, glossary, and a sample contract

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What are my limits?

There's a lot you can do to learn about BDSM and what your limits might be.

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About Punishment

Punishment is one of those areas which is not what it seems. Before you can develop tools or methods of punishment you have to look at the concepts behind the issue itself.

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31 Days of Submissive Journaling - Day 21: Your First Blog Post

You’ve made the decision that you’re going to keep a blog, you’ve picked your host, you’ve designed your site, and now it comes down to the writing. But what in the world do you write? I'll give you all the details.

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