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Wants and Needs

Wants and needs are very important to any relationship. When you start to understand who you are as a submissive, it’s time to figure out what you are looking for in a relationship. The difference between wants and needs can be answered in one basic question. Is this something you can live without?

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Mentors

Applying mentoring to a BDSM context a mentor is someone that guides and advises a newbie on what to expect, things they might want learn and other items. I believe a mentor should be on the same level as you. There are many opinions out there, but common sense advice can be found in the following series of articles about mentors.

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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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A Submissive Approach to Safe, Sane and Consensual

When you first enter the more public BDSM community one of the largest catch phrases you will here is SSC, also known as Safe, Sane and Consensual. It is a security blanket approach to safety when playing and negotiation of play. As a submissive, you have a lot of responsibility to keeping yourself safe and well.

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Are There Basic Expectations in a Dominant That I Should Look For?

Here are some basic things you should probably look for in a Dominant.

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Where To Go to Find a Kinky or D/s Partner: The Big List

When you are ready for dating you might start with this list of places. I'll do my best to list as many places as I can but I'm not currently dating so I may be rusty. I also can't guarantee that these sites will work for you, but if you don't try then you'll never know.

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How Can I Safely Contact Online Doms?

What’s the safest way to get in touch with potential online Doms?

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Entering the Community: Finding Other Local Kinksters Using Online Resources

The internet has opened you up to a world of possibility - including finding other kinky groups and people! Here's how you can collect a list of local meet-ups, groups, and interested persons.

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How to Tell When That Online Training Dom is a Wolf In Sheep's Clothing

While it's a small few, there are people who can threaten your sense of trust and your own emotions. These are the wolves of the online D/s world.

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Review of The Path of the Submissive Partner Virtual Course

When Chris M. Lyon, a relationship consultant, and D/s expert, approached me with news of a virtual course, “The Path of the Submissive Partner,” made specifically for the submissive partner, I was intrigued to know what she had created. I had high hopes for the information presented and the solutions to the challenges we have in taking the submissive path. She didn’t let me down.

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