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7 Things I Wish I'd Known When I Was New to BDSM

There is always time for a bit of education and knowledge before exploration. It can keep you safe, it can make you more aware, it can keep you safe and it can be fun. What 7 things did I learn that I wish I had known a LONG time ago?

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Recommended Reading for New Submissives

The following is a list of books that I recommend for every novice submissive. The links lead you to Amazon if you are interested in buying the books. Part of your purchase goes towards supporting this site and my efforts at continuing to bring you content on this site.

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The 6 Most Common STDs

Everytime we talk about sex and sexually related activities such as many of the BDSM and kinky play we do it's important, if not imperative, that we are safe and aware of the most common sexually transmitted diseases and infections you can get. You should have tests for STDs regularly if you choose to have multiple partners, or if you are changing partners. Maintaining a clean bill of sexual health will provide yourself and your partner(s) with reassurance and safety. Even though you may be disease free does not mean you shouldn't practice safe sex. If you need a refresher, check the previous post on safer kinky sex practices.

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You Don't Have to Be a Porn Star or Fashion Model to Participate in BDSM

You've seen the porn on Kink.com and other places and you notice that most of the pictures on FetLife are of fit, healthy people dressed in latex and leather from head to toe. You can't possibly fit into the BDSM world. Wrong.

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Coming Out of the Closet... Twice

I was a closet lesbian until 2003 and a closet kinkster until 2010.

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But I Don't Like Pain! Learning to See the Eroticism in Pain as Pleasure

I can show you that pain is indeed something erotic when used correctly and in the right situations. Pain doesn't have to be painful, and other stimuli can be pleasurable and can either mask pain or enhance it.

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Death, Grief, and D/s: How to Help Your Dominant During a Time of Sadness

I learned a few lessons and truths that every submissive should keep in mind when your Dominant is under great strain. Here's what you can do to help your own Dominant through grief.

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New to BDSM and Sexual Experience

Can a virgin with no sexual experience be a sub?

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Advanced Orgasm Control Techniques

Once you have control over the orgasm by needing that trigger from the Dominant you can start to move the sensation from being derived in the genitals to the genitals and something else.

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Contracts as a Road Map to Ever-Evolving Dynamics

A written contract is a tool, simple as that. The written contract is not just useful to new dynamics trying to create a roadmap of new Power Exchange dynamic; it can help prevent problems up ahead and provide a lovely reminder of how far you've traveled together.

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