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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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Video

Define This! Being Bad vs. Being a Brat

Being bad will garner negative consequences while being a brat with someone who wants a brat can often lead to fun play, bantering and a closer connection with their Dominant. Let's explore the other differences.

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The Real Meaning Behind Service and Serving as a Submissive

Service is any activity or function that you fill to make your dominant partner's life easier. This could be as simple as preparing their coffee, laying out their clothes for them or performing domestic chores. Yes, it does include the play and sex aspects of some relationships, but not all of them are wired this way.

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What's the Difference Between a Lifestyler and a Player?

There are all sorts of labels that people can wear in this lifestyle. Many of these have definitions that fluctuate and change depending on the situation. These are submissive, slave, real, true, Dominant, Master, and the list goes on. No one can agree on what these labels mean for the community.

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Submissive Skills: Service Topping For Your Dominant's Pleasure

I'm talking about the submissive who tops their Dominant. This has nothing to do with topping from the bottom. This is an agreed upon role that the submissive top their owner during play. It's not as uncommon as you might think that a Dominant could be masochistic and need a sadist to satisfy their needs. It's also very common that submissives might have or develop a sadistic streak. This pairing could blossom into a healthy service dynamic for the couple.

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Emotional Dependency in D/s Relationships

This necessary attachment can develop into a positive reinforcing factor in the relationship or it can lead to a one-sided worship of one of the partners that can fracture the foundation.

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Nobody's Perfect-Including Your Dominant!

It’s really easy for those of us who are S-types to think that our D-types are perfect. And that is the furthest thing from the truth.

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7 Myths of Grieving and Understanding Your Responses to Death

I would like to talk about ground rules for grieving, myths of grief and loss, the uniqueness of each person’s grief and symptoms of grief.

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When Your Dominant Controls the Money

Money is power, and taking control of the finances is a way of exerting power over the relationship. Depending what your situation looks like, it may be more difficult than it sounds, especially if you are used to having full control over your money.

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Dolly Learns To Balance Kink and Everyday Life

However committed and passionate you may be about your Dom/sub relationship, making time for your kink among the cold, harsh realities of daily living is a continuous and often difficult balance.

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