from the 3/14/15 Submissive Guide Newsletter

I admit that it's been over a decade since I was in a long distance relationship, but I know that even with that thought, the complexities of a long distance relationship are still a common part of what I deal with on a daily basis in responding to emails from you. I can never forget my time as an LD submissive because, luckily for me, it was the start of my life as KnyghtMare's slave and wife. It is often a very difficult time for relationships because of the inherent struggles with lack of physical contact, the need for constant reassurance that the relationship is important and the lack of understanding by those around you that the relationship is real.

When KnyghtMare first meet froggyKM, their relationship was long distance. Even now that we live in the same city he still employs a lot of what he used at the beginning to stay in contact and in control of the relationship. KnyghtMare has a new girlfriend that lives 2 hours away. His skills at maintaining a long distance relationship and my watching it from a distance have really given me some moments of reflection for what we consider a relationship and what things we can do that will keep a relationship strong, even if physical contact is infrequent or non-existent. So even though our relationship is no longer long distance, I am exposed to a lot things that are in use for long distance relationships on a daily basis these days.

Where am I getting with all this? Long distance relationships are still relationships that require a different approach to develop the same connection and intimacy. Sure, the physical contact is far less than a face to face relationship but for some people, a long distance relationship is a smart first step or only step if you are unable to explore BDSM in any other way.  I'd like to feature some of the amazing articles from the site about Long Distance Relationships. Even if you aren't interested in long distance for yourself, please take some time today to read about this relationship style so that perhaps you can see why some people choose them for their own lives.

Let's start with a five part series by kallista.

  1. Submitting in a Long Distance Relationship - In her introduction she talks about how every nuance and issue is compounded because you can't physically reach out and touch the person and she shares what her series is going to cover.
  2. Developing Effective Communication in Long Distance Relationships - Staying in touch can require a bit of creativity. kallista details 3 common communication styles in D/s relationships; companionate, elucidation and disclosure.
  3. Submitting in a Long Distance Relationship: The Big Meet - Not all long distance relationships are no contact. Here's an excellent article about how to prepare and nerves that can come from the big first meeting.
  4. The Role of a Collar in a Long Distance Relationship -Sometimes a collar is that tangible link between you and your partner and is especially important in long distance relationships for that reason.
  5. Long Distance: Playtime - How do you play when you can't physically touch one another? You might just be surprised with the innovative ways to connect.

 Making Long Distance Relationships Work for You by Sephani - How to deal with the lack of physical contact in a relationship through communication, sharing and trust.

7 Ways to Maintain a Long Distance Relationship

- There is an art to maintaining a long distance relationship. Pick up some tips on how to keep it fresh and strong while going about your day and your life.

Going the Distance - How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship

by thisgirl - She gives some wonderful tips on how she survived her 6 year, long distance relationship with her now Husband. She's an excellent source of information on a lot of things.

Handling Absence in a Long Distance Relationship

 - This was a newsletter article from 2011 but still has a lot of wonderful information on the topic of absence, or when you or your partner can't get together because of what's going on in either of your lives.

Playing and Punishment from a Distance

by pinksubgeek - Creative ideas on how to interact through text, chat and more.

And finally here's my video post about submitting in a long distance relationship.

Recommended Books

While the following articles are about temporary long term situations, they too can help you pick up some ideas on how to manage absence in your relationship.

Thoughts to Ponder

  1. What did you learn about Long Distance Relationships that you didn't know before this article?
  2. What other questions or topics should I try to cover related to LDR?
  3. Are you now, or have you ever been in a Long Distance Relationship? What was it like for you?

Interesting Links