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What's The Big Deal With BDSM Checklists?

For a novice submissive exploring SM, a checklist can open up a world of fantasies or scare you right back into your light kink and rough sex. Checklists are not meant to scare you or overwhelm you, but I've seen lists that are more like lists of all sorts of rare fetishes and extreme play that only a few ever explore. Why you would want or need that on a novice checklist is beyond me.

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Service Submission

Service. It’s something that a lot of submissive say they are into giving. While it’s quite clear that the definition means that we are helping or doing work for someone, performing a kindness or favor, when we apply that term to D/s it tends to take on a more indepth role. Let’s explore some of the ways service submission exists in D/s relationships.

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The Compleat Slave

This book is more than likely going to be of interest for any novice with under 6 months of experience under their belt or are still dating and getting nowhere. I believe that was his focus for this book anyway. Definitely a disappointing read for the experienced BDSM participant and not what I was expecting when I bought the book.

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The Many Faces of Submission

What I'm about to lay out for you is not the only way these terms can be described but it is a good measure for the novice and open to your interpretation. No one way to serve is better than another in this list. Remember that not matter where we are on the mountainous journey, the goal is the same. Surrender.

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What You Need To Know About Using Contracts to Negotiate a Relationship

In a D/s relationship, it is not unfamiliar to also draft a contract in which to declare your intentions with each other. These are not required, of course, and some people will proclaim the invalidity of these documents to anyone who will listen. I feel that the creation of a contract has some very useful and valuable importance to a growing relationship.

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Limits: Drawing That Line In The Sand

Applying limits to your BDSM experience is necessary for negotiation purposes in play and in relationships. It's like a compatibility scale. The more items on the limit list that match the more likely you are to be compatible and have fun playing in the same way. Being a novice isn't a hindrance for everyone, some Dominants like to help a novice explore their limits.

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4 Things You Should Not Put Up With Just Because He's a Dominant

Please consider the following situations as a wake up call if you are in a relationship where you're feeling used or disrespected. Being a Dominant does not give them an automatic "be a dick" card.

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Fifty Shades of Grey, Consent and the Media's Representation of Kink

Unfortunately, the 50 Shades of Grey series is the litmus test that the mainstream media will now use to judge what those of us in the community consider to be a huge part of who we are.

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How Do I Let Him Know I'm Committed to Him?

How can I tell my partner that I'm not going anywhere and am interested in a long term relationship and possibly marriage?

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Contracts as a Road Map to Ever-Evolving Dynamics

A written contract is a tool, simple as that. The written contract is not just useful to new dynamics trying to create a roadmap of new Power Exchange dynamic; it can help prevent problems up ahead and provide a lovely reminder of how far you've traveled together.

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