I've been witness to a shocking new trend in relationships lately. Perhaps I'm old school or old-fashioned but what I'm seeing in today's society, and not just the BDSM culture, is the lack of effort in relationships.
As I was raised I was taught that something worthwhile wasn't always easy to achieve and you may have to work hard to get it. I applied this to everything in my life; including the relationships I developed. My marriage may have failed, but I didn't give up and worked very hard to make it work before admitting defeat. The same goes for my current relationship. It takes work.
Now I'm not saying that you should give every relationship a fighting chance because I know some relationships are rushed into, lacking desire, destructive or overall bad for you. These are not what I mean by disposable relationships. These are relationships that everyone has to experience to know what a good relationship looks like.
An Example of What I'm Talking About
Recently Master and I were going through a rough patch. Things have since cleared up so there's no need to worry, I know I didn't. Recommendations from people who barely know us were along the lines of the disposable relationship mentality.
"Oh well you've been together for so long, maybe you aren't compatible anymore and should consider moving on."
"If you are having problems then perhaps he isn't the right guy for you, get out while you are still young."
"I'd toss him on the curb and find a real man!"
All of these really had me shocked. It's not like I was begging for happiness in our relationship, I was just voicing my frustrations with the current dilemma. Master and I work hard at our relationship. We have a very open communication channel and use it regularly to talk about everything. We are the most openly communicative relationship I have seen. We don't give up because deep inside the love for each other is worth keeping. If you are spiritually happy in your relationship you'll understand on what level Master and I are.
The Disposable Relationship Mentality
I see the advice we tend to give people online that we barely know. We jump to the conclusion that their relationship is doomed and tell them 9 times out of 10 that the man or woman just isn't worth it and they need to let them go and move on. We do this without hearing the other side, asking more questions or even understanding where this issue came from that they are asking advice on. Why do we do this?
The disposable relationship mentality is a lot like our disposable nature with everything else. We throw everything away. Quality has taken a back seat to convenience and cost. We dismiss issues with a relationship as broken goods and we just let them loose to try to find someone else that won't break. Of course, when that one does as well we start hating relationships altogether. There's no effort anymore.
Do you think a relationship will blossom if the two or more people involved don't work at it? Of course not. How hard are you working in your relationship to make it work to your satisfaction?
How about your current relationship? Is it like that toaster you have to keep replacing every few years because it stops toasting correctly or is it that cherished family heirloom that you take great care in keeping beautiful and shining for all to see?