On the heels of a fantastic three-post series on this very subject I've been receiving requests for advice and help on how to introduce BDSM to your partner, so I'm going to talk about the key points I think will help any partner open up about BDSM with their mate.

It is a scary proposition to approach your partner who may be oblivious to your new desires about wanting to add a bit or a lot of kink to your relationship. I know that when I did the same thing to my ex husband he about freaked! Okay so honestly the exploration we had done so far was somewhat kinky - after all we had blindfolds and cuffs and sex toys of all sorts and we liked to roleplay. But when I asked him to spank me he looked like I had just grown a third eye.  Yeah, that didn't work well.

What I can say is that after I did a bit of research, armed myself with information and sat him down to talk to him outside of the bedroom he listened receptively. He asked questions, read some of the material and then we talked about it later. He was willing to try it but only once to see if he had a desire to do it. He told me he just couldn't continue if it was something that did nothing for him - even if it does for me.

I agreed and we tried once. It wasn't exactly intense, but it did give me a taste. That taste was all I needed to know that I had to have more kink.

Unfortunately, that spelled the end of our marriage as the final nail in the coffin. It doesn't have to be that way for your relationship, trust me there was more going wrong than I've shared here that would have ended it anyway.

So what can we learn from my little story about how to introduce BDSM to a partner?

Whatever they decide it's up to you on how you proceed. If they want to give it a try - go ahead! If they are far from interested  you still have avenues available to you. It doesn't automatically mean the end of the relationship. I wish you the best.

Have you introduced BDSM to a partner before? How did it go? Share your story in the comments!