Open communication is complicated by shyness. Addressing that shyness could help you open up to your partner and others instead of the social discomfort you constantly feel. But what is shyness and how does it manifest? You can get over being shy and start living your life free from social awkwardness. Then your submissive communication with your partner won't be such a challenge. Is there a secret? Not really, we'll work to remove the shyness so that you can be relaxed and more yourself.
Shyness complicates an open communication and dialog with your partner because you can't freely express yourself, you get tongue tied or uncomfortable with the topics brought up. We've learned countless times that being able to talk about the things that turn you on, the struggles and difficulties you may have or everyday things are what help aide in a strong relationship.
It's also stressful for the shy person to be pressured to have open communication if they aren't used to it. Negative responses to pressure include even more shyness, becoming withdrawn and leaving the relationship altogether. Don't let social anxiety rule your life.
The Definition of Shy
a social psychology term used to describe the feeling of apprehension, lack of comfort, or awkwardness experienced when a person is in proximity to, approaching, or being approached by other people, especially in new situations or with unfamiliar people. ( Wikipedia)
Being shy is a low-level social anxiety disorder. It's a learned behavior that some people use to avoid uncomfortable situations or people. Generally, this happens in childhood and then stays with a person through adulthood. Shyness is most likely to occur during unfamiliar situations, though in severe cases it may hinder an individual in his or her most familiar situations and relationships as well.
Shyness can develop at any stage of life but is most common for children to pre-teenage years. Over half of the US is shy on some level so you are not alone. Some psychologists even suggest that shyness is inherited.
How to Recover Your Confidence
The key to converting shyness into something positive is to develop life skills that will diminish the effect or impact of such a feeling or condition in our life. Again, to a certain degree, shyness is normal. But if it already hinders a person’s development and relationship with others, it becomes a disabling impediment.
The first step is to relax. Take a deep breath and calm your nerves. Meditation techniques can also help you with relaxation.
Next, you should realize your self-worth. Everything starts in your mind and then becomes reality, so you need to install the right beliefs into your subconscious. This is THE most important thing you can do. Start visualizing yourself being confident and comfortable talking to people.
Working To Better Communication
Practicing being able to talk and express your feelings can be done in many ways. Prepare what you want to say in advance. You can write a letter or outline and that way you can feel comfortable.
Many submissives have journals. They are excellent tools to getting your thoughts out without having to face them directly. You can say what you need to say and your partner can read them at their leisure and then get back to you. It is just a stepping stone, but once you realize that everything you think and feel is valuable you will start to feel more comfortable going to them for your thoughts instead of the journal.
If faced with a moment where your Dominant is expecting you to open up right away you can as for a moment to gather your thoughts and then start your relaxation techniques you learned, gather your thoughts and then you may feel ready to begin opening yourself up and being more transparent with your thoughts and feelings.
However you work to overcome your shyness, you can finally embrace a closer relationship with your partner. You'll be able to express your feelings, feel your self-worth rise and your confidence soar.
Thoughts to Ponder
- Have you ever felt shy? How did you get through the situation?
- Do you feel shyness is a positive or negative personality/behavior trait? Why or why not?
- What tips do you have to overcome shyness?
- How has shyness impacted your relationships?