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Content related to "Talking About BDSM to Vanilla Folk: What to Say and What to Avoid"

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Limits

Limits are personal boundaries that everyone places for how far they are willing to take things. These limits can be sexual, personal, emotional or otherwise. You may even have some for your every day that you don’t realize are limits. If you don’t have any BDSM experience, the idea of setting up limits can be challenging. Let’s dive into what they are, how to figure them out and why you make sure they are respected.

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Setting Goals

No matter how you go about it, setting realistic goals and then working towards success is a step by step process. You have the tools available to make changes in your life if you want them. It doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Treat them like anything else in your life worth doing and you can make it. Use the resources below to make the progress stick.

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What Happens At Your First Munch?

So you are ready to venture into the great wide expanse of public life and meet people face to face. That's great! A munch is a safe and fun environment to do that in. A munch is a meet and greet of kinky folks in a public to semi-private space where you can get to know people, talk and ask questions and just enjoy feeling good about who you are without having to hide anything.

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Don't Assume Submissive Means Sister: Calling Me Your Sub Sister May Be a Bit Much

We are all people, submissive or not. Just because you identify as submissive does not give you a membership card into the friendship club for me. Sure I'm going to care for you with the same care I give any person I meet. Just don't expect me to care more because you are submissive. This isn't always a dog eat dog world, but you can't expect people to always treat you the way you treat them.

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What FetLife Has Done To Change The Kink Community

FetLife, for as long as it remains a free community will always be the place I recommend novices go to lurk in the groups and feed off of information that they get there. It is the largest no-nonesense group of people I've seen. FetLife has changed the community atmosphere. It really has. Better or worse is personal opinion, but I know that for me it has a lot going for it. As it ages I think it will get more refined with the quality instead of just quantity. I'll be there to see it age. Hopefully you will join me there.

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What Is A Doormat Submissive?

A common derogatory word used in submissive circles is “doormat” as in, you don’t want to be a doormat submissive. Rarely is it talked about beyond saying that you should not let your Dominant walk all over you. I agree of course, but for the inexperienced, understanding what that really means can come after being trampled into the mat.

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Your Right to Choose-Feminism and the Lifestyle

I know that being a feminist means different things to different people. To me, feminism has always been about having the right to choose to lead the kind of life that I want to.

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Where Can I Go to Talk to Someone about Submission?

Finding submissive support groups isn't as hard as you might think.

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New to D/s Relationships? Here's Your Foolproof Guide to Starting Out - Part 1

What makes a D/s relationship so different from mainstream relationships? Learn the key differences, how you can apply what you learn to your own relationships and watch it develop into your most fulfilling relationship possible.

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How Do I Find a Dominant?

How DO you go about finding a Dominant in this modern world? Here's a short list of ways you can begin to search for a Dominant partner.

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