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Mentors

Applying mentoring to a BDSM context a mentor is someone that guides and advises a newbie on what to expect, things they might want learn and other items. I believe a mentor should be on the same level as you. There are many opinions out there, but common sense advice can be found in the following series of articles about mentors.

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Submissive Positions

Submissive Positions are talked about all over like everyone is supposed to be doing them or something. Not every relationship is set up to provide that level of protocol and you should never expect a relationship to automatically have that. If you are interested in positions, ask your partner or prospective partner if they’d be interested before you go learning any. They may have preferences to how you should look and act. Following them is by far more important than learning about positions online (unless that is their direction).

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Setting Goals

No matter how you go about it, setting realistic goals and then working towards success is a step by step process. You have the tools available to make changes in your life if you want them. It doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Treat them like anything else in your life worth doing and you can make it. Use the resources below to make the progress stick.

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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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Dirty Talk

When someone says “Talk dirty to me baby…” in the bedroom the hopefully-soon-to-be dirty talker instantly freezes like a soaking wet roll of toilet paper being thrown out of an igloo in Antarctica.What should you say? What do they want you to say? What if you say too much? What if you say too little?

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5 Ways to Make Long Distance Relationships Work For You

Long-distance relationships (LDR) of any sort have always had negative press reviews and I'm sure all of us have heard the, "they never work" response at some point in time. Lifestyle LDR has even more negative connotations as people harp on the inability to fully submit/dominate from a distance. I'm here to tell you that they can work. They have worked. You just have to make it work. Anything worth having is never easy to achieve and both parties have to really want it.

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Lessons in Submissive Speech 8: Showing Gratitude

I'm not perfect now but I know more about saying thank you and the value that it can have. Take the following steps to make your gratitude come from the heart. Use it well and use it often.

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Acronyms, Abbreviations and Initialisms in BDSM Conversation

Oftentimes instead of writing out the words we abbreviate or create acronyms or groups of initials to say the same thing. Here is a list of the more common letter groupings when it comes to talking about BDSM and submission. These could also be seen in profiles and dating sites.

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There's No Size Limitation to Being Kinky

You do not have to be skinny to be accepted or to embrace submission. BDSM does not have a maximum size limit (or a minimum for that matter). Be you!

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5 Ways to Express Your Gratitude to Your Dominant

Sure you can say thank you. That's standard. I really hope you take every opportunity to say thank you, but what if you want a few more creative ways to show how appreciative you are to your Dominant?

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