As I shared with you last week I am doing Nanowrimo this month so I’m focusing my writing there. While I’m away I have prepared an interesting series for Submissive Guide. This is the first of 30 days where you all get to learn a little bit (or a lot) about me. I’m going to post every day this month using the meme that has gone around the net over the last few years. I hope you enjoy getting a glimpse into my personal life and submission.
You can participate in the 30 Days of Submission Challenge too! Check out this post and make sure you leave your responses in the Subguide Club under the correct day!
Does your submission – either what you practice or what you strive for – have a label? Do you view your submission as Taken in Hand, domestic discipline, top/bottom, dominant/submissive, master/slave, owner/pet, or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?
My submission has changed and evolved a lot in the time that I’ve known what in the world I am. I’ve always been a little kinky but just thought that kinky was a healthy sex life with ones I loved. My ex-husband and I were light players but we never attached labels to it. I had a very difficult time accepting that I was submissive because for me kinky was good enough. Our marriage was failing for other reasons before I started learning more about BDSM and craving something I couldn’t name.
In the summer of 2003, I encountered a Yahoo profile of someone who said he was a Dominant and it intrigued me. I contacted him and asked if I could talk to him a bit about BDSM. This conversation was what helped me realize what I wanted was to be submissive. I stayed in that role for years, feeling good about how things worked and my relationship with KnyghtMare grew and developed into a great love.
Somewhere in there, we got really serious about living D/s every day, all the time. KnyghtMare went on to consider himself a Master because of the level of authority he had over me and then just recently, over froggyKM.
Now, I consider myself a slave. That wasn’t an easy transition. I used to have huge hangups with what a slave was and how I defined it. I never felt that I lived up to what I considered a slave was. Before you ask, my old personal definition of a slave was someone who had no safeword, no limits, and was in complete obedience to their Dominant without being able to voice their own opinions. Being called a slave was a scary idea to me, I thought that somehow calling myself a slave would change me and how KnyghtMare and I interacted. I avoided it for a long time.
Then last year after a lot of soul-searching I decided that my personal definition was silly and to test out calling myself a slave and see how I felt. Since then I’ve been pretty happy and comfortable. It’s not been without headaches since I also feel that being a slave is harder for me than a submissive. I feel like I’ve gotten into my role a lot better now that I’ve changed my definitions.
Ultimately, it’s all just words but I feel it’s important to know who you are. Who are you?