Master and i have been together about a year (known each other for many more). He recently began expressing a desire for a threesome. Because of past experiences, i have very serious issues with this. i have, of course, shared these issues with Master. Unfortunately, this is something He very much wants. i told Him that at this time it is a hard limit for me unless i really knew the person. It would be a matter of meeting the right person and then, over time, getting to know them enough that i am comfortable having the threesome with them. Master has now said that he sees this as a major obstacle to our relationship and doesn't know if He can continue being with me. i feel that He should respect this difficulty and help me to work through it instead of telling me it's either have this threesome or lose Him.

Hi "no threesomes",

Gosh, I really feel for you. If I was suddenly confronted with a limit and told that I had to comply or see my partner leave I don't know what I would do. From your message it does sounds like you shared your issues and he was well aware of them before making this quasi-ultimatum.

I have to wonder what has changed to make him want a threesome and disregard your valid issues surrounding it. My first, admittedly negative, thoughts were that he already has a girl picked out and lusts for her so the only way he sees it working is if you agreed to a threesome. Or he's feeling the itch to cheat but wants you to be 'okay' with some level of sexual interaction with others and sees a threesome as your compliance to it. I also had the thought that he wants a way out of the relationship and asking for something you already have as a limit can be an escape clause for him (he can blame you for it not working out).

And yet, he may have just started realizing that he's more poly minded or open relationship leaning and this is yet another avenue for his newly discovered relationship style. He may not have the heart to tell you that he's looking for more people to love like he loves you without sounding like a horrible person.

This is all speculation, as you hopefully know. I don't know your relationship, its ups and downs or the makeup of the current issue and how it came into being. All I can offer you is advice.

Talk to him and really listen. Find out how this desire came about and why it is all of a sudden a must have from him. See if he's willing to help you work through your issues surrounding if (only if you are willing to do that) before seeking another sex partner. Tell him you want the relationship to continue and will do what you can to please him in this new desire.

But if he's already made up his mind - you can't change it. You just have to live with the heartache and pain from the loss of a relationship.

I do hope that you can work things out with him.

Okay readers, what help and advice can you provide? What would you say to "no threesomes"?