Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

Newsletter Archive

The Submissive Guide Newsletter Archive is published on the site at least 3 months after it is sent to the mailing list. Each newsletter has questions and additional resources that make it different than a standard post.

Articles

New to D/s Relationships? Here’s Your Foolproof Guide to Starting Out – Part 1

New to D/s Relationships? Here’s Your Foolproof Guide to Starting Out – Part 1

Exploring the physical aspects of BDSM, such as flogging, spanking and bondage are a lot simpler in terms of finding information that will help you on your way but when you crave a D/s relationship the shared knowledge folds into personal stories and “you’ll learn as you go” sentiments. It’s just not an easy road [...]

4 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Relationships
An Open Letter to Everyone Who Wants to Know What a D/s Relationship is Supposed to Look Like

An Open Letter to Everyone Who Wants to Know What a D/s Relationship is Supposed to Look Like

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 10/29/16 A D/s (or M/s) relationship, for most of you reading this, you either have one or want one. For those of you who have never been in a D/s relationship before it comes as no shock that you want to know what it’s like and what to expect from [...]

3 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Relationships
Play Nice: Some Notes on Scene  Etiquette and Leather Protocol (Part 1 of 7) – General Principles

Play Nice: Some Notes on Scene Etiquette and Leather Protocol (Part 1 of 7) – General Principles

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 10-9-16 by Ambrosio. This was first published on Ambrosio’s site and has a free to distribute license. Abrosio dedicated this article to Beverly M. in Austin. Good Manners vs. Correct Protocol “Manners are of more importance than laws. Manners are what vex or soothe, corrupt or purify, exalt or debase, [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Community, Newsletter Archive
Every Good Conversation Starts with Good Listening

Every Good Conversation Starts with Good Listening

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 9/24/16 “The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.” Submissive Guide was started not to just share what I know, it is also, at least for me, a way to continue to learn by talking out my struggles and answering the questions presented to [...]

3 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Relationships
Must I Always Wait for My Dominant to Tell me What to Do?

Must I Always Wait for My Dominant to Tell me What to Do?

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 9-10-16 The topic for this article came to me from a reader survey I did over a year ago where I asked you what was most pressing to your at that moment and this question, “must I always wait for my Dom to tell me what to do?” came up. [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Newsletter Archive
Solo-Coaching – Tearing Down Old Defensive Behaviors

Solo-Coaching – Tearing Down Old Defensive Behaviors

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 8-13-16 We’ve all probably uttered this phrase a time or two when having a heated conversation with a loved one, “you’re becoming defensive.” From the time we are born, we learn defensive mechanisms that are meant to protect us from pain and trauma. A child’s first defense is to cry, [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Personal Growth
7 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Was New to BDSM

7 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Was New to BDSM

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 6-25-16 As a slave (who used to identify as a submissive, who used to identify as a masochist bottom) I was new at one time (yes really!!). When I came into the lifestyle I was all wide eyes, excitement and healthy dose of caution just days after learning that there [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Personal Growth
Learning to Help a Partner Through a Poly Breakup

Learning to Help a Partner Through a Poly Breakup

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 6-11-16 At the end of May, KnyghtMare’s long-term girlfriend broke up with him suddenly. He said he had no idea it was coming so it hit him really hard. I know that any time someone you love ends the relationship you go through a period of grief and loss and [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Relationships
Born Again into Kink: Discovering Kink at Middle Age

Born Again into Kink: Discovering Kink at Middle Age

From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 5/28/16 This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Dear Mistress, . . . One in particular that often bothers me, the impact of the Internet on the lifestyle or the type of people who suddenly [...]

2 comments Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Community, Newsletter Archive
Meeting Someone Face to Face Is an Important Early Step in Online Dating

Meeting Someone Face to Face Is an Important Early Step in Online Dating

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 05-14-16 We spend a lot of time in front of a screen these days. We chat, we shop, we explore and we date, all from the comfort of our homes. But, it is my opinion, that dating is something that really should be done face to face. Yeah, I know, [...]

It’s Not Just The Size That Matters: Playing With an Uncircumcised Penis

It’s Not Just The Size That Matters: Playing With an Uncircumcised Penis

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 4-30-16 The age-old phrase, “It’s not the size of the boat, but the motion in the ocean,” was created, I believe, to give men with average sized penises some sexual confidence. If you ask any woman in private they are more likely to tell you exactly the type of penis [...]

5 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Sex and Sexuality
The Top 5 Tips for Vetting a Potential Dominant Partner

The Top 5 Tips for Vetting a Potential Dominant Partner

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 4/2/16 The most common search queries on this blog have to do with finding a Dominant partner so I have to assume that a lot of you who read here are single and searching for your Dominant. It’s never easy being single and knowing you want to find a Dominant [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Relationships
Some Issues with Consensuality

Some Issues with Consensuality

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 3/19/16 This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Consent: Compliance with or in approval of what is done or proposed by another. We talk about consent a lot. There is a very good reason for [...]

2 comments Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: BDSM Fundamentals, Beginner Basics, Newsletter Archive
You Share, I Share, We All Share! No no no, that’s not right….

You Share, I Share, We All Share! No no no, that’s not right….

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 3/5/16 I don’t know about you, but I’m monogamous. I am not shared with anyone else and that suits me just fine. But if you go to any online discussion group you may get an impression that the opposite is true; that sharing your submissive with others in a play [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Community, Newsletter Archive
Afraid of Not Being Me Anymore: Transformation Without Fear

Afraid of Not Being Me Anymore: Transformation Without Fear

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 2/20/16 When you become submissive to someone, you could be afraid to lose who you were before the power exchange. I know I was afraid of changing too much when I began to identify as a slave instead of a submissive. Would I even recognize myself? Could I still be [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Personal Growth

Learn to Speak Up and Speak Out: Empowering Yourself to Have a Voice

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter  2-6-16 Have you ever felt like if you made a suggestion or requested a change in the relationship to your Dominant was horribly inappropriate, that it was overstepping your boundaries as a submissive? What about asking for something you’d like to do, like have sex or play, or even just [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Personal Growth
How Often Have You Said: “I Don’t Know What’s Expected of Me, But I’d Like To”?

How Often Have You Said: “I Don’t Know What’s Expected of Me, But I’d Like To”?

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 8/29/15 What ARE you expected to do and know as a submissive? Well, for many who are just starting out, the answer really is not much. But that’s not the kind of answer you accept out of me, right? There’s more to it, isn’t there? Of course there always is, [...]

How Sub Space Affects Sexual Sensations During Play

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 12-19-15 Often misunderstood; subspace has a complexity that leads many to believe what they are experiencing isn’t subspace at all. But what we can all agree on is that subspace alters your senses during play. While SM play is most common to reach subspace you can get there using other [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Play and Sex
How to Tell When That Online Training Dom is a Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing

How to Tell When That Online Training Dom is a Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 12-05-15 Online submission was and still is a very popular choice for many people, especially the novice submissive and the curious outsider. But it also attracts the not so honest people, the predators and those looking for the weak and vulnerable for their own selfish needs. And that’s why, if [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Newsletter Archive
Things That Hinder You Getting to Know People At a Munch and How to Overcome Them

Things That Hinder You Getting to Know People At a Munch and How to Overcome Them

for the Submissive Guide Newsletter 9/12/15 I talk about going to munches as a good first step into the lifestyle and there’s certainly a lot of good that can come from that. But when you are already nervous or shy, having a negative experience will make you feel like it just wasn’t worth it or [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Community, Newsletter Archive
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