Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

Ask Anything

The many anonymous questions I get in my mailbox each month get answered in special posts in this section by a Contributing Writer. It’s like a Dear Abby column for the submissive mind.

Articles

What Do I Call My Dominant?

What Do I Call My Dominant?

A Dominant can have a variety of titles. Which one will you pick? We have a small list of common and not so common names you could use for your Dominant. Check out the list and find the one that feels the best to you or use it to inspire your own ideas for Dominant titles!

Comments Off Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything
Feeling Like a Parrot: Saying What He Wants to Hear Instead of a Sincere Response

Feeling Like a Parrot: Saying What He Wants to Hear Instead of a Sincere Response

Do you feel like a parrot when your Dominant asks you to respond in a specific way after a request is given? Learn how to discuss this issue with your partner and work to come to an agreement.

1 comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything
How To Express Submissiveness as a Little

How To Express Submissiveness as a Little

How can I show my submissiveness in a little girl way without falling into total servitude and then becoming more like a slave?

1 comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships
How to Approach a Couple into Kink and Polyamory when You are New

How to Approach a Couple into Kink and Polyamory when You are New

Be realistic with yourself about what you are offering, but when you are new to Kink and Polyamory there’s a lot of conversation that needs to happen. Here’s what you should discuss.

Comments Off Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything
Teased With No Relief: How to Address Orgasm Denial Because Dominant Gets Too Busy and Forgets

Teased With No Relief: How to Address Orgasm Denial Because Dominant Gets Too Busy and Forgets

How do you cope with sexual frustration? Kayla helps you figure out what you should do when you have been teased and then left high and dry when your partner gets too busy.

Comments Off Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships
Am I Too Clingy for Submission? Emotional Attachment and Vulnerability

Am I Too Clingy for Submission? Emotional Attachment and Vulnerability

Have we gone too fast? Emotional vulnerability and surviving sub frenzy within a relationship are hard. Kayla walks you through some simple steps to work out how to talk about it with your partner.

Comments Off Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything
How Do I Let Him Know I’m Committed to Him?

How Do I Let Him Know I’m Committed to Him?

How can I tell my partner that I’m not going anywhere and am interested in a long term relationship and possibly marriage?

Comments Off Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything, Beginner Basics
What Should I Expect from My Dominant?

What Should I Expect from My Dominant?

What is reasonable to expect from a dominant in exchange for submission and service? Let’s figure out what you need in order to feel that your power exchange is fulfilling and personal.

Comments Off Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything
How To Navigate Public BDSM Play as a Transgender Person

How To Navigate Public BDSM Play as a Transgender Person

Do what makes you feel most comfortable, and you’ll be doing it “right.”

Comments Off Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything, Play and Sex
How Do I Find a Dominant?

How Do I Find a Dominant?

How DO you go about finding a Dominant in this modern world? Here’s a short list of ways you can begin to search for a Dominant partner.

4 comments Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships
Regaining Trust – He Cheated and I’m Not Over It Yet

Regaining Trust – He Cheated and I’m Not Over It Yet

Regaining trust is going to be a long hard road. It doesn’t matter what “most” people might consider cheating. If you felt that the bonds of your relationship were bruised or broken due to your partner’s actions, he cheated, and your feelings are important and valid.

2 comments Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships
Help! My Dominant Says and Does Things I Didn’t Agree To

Help! My Dominant Says and Does Things I Didn’t Agree To

My Dominant is constantly changing the rules of the relationship and I don’t agree with them. I love him and don’t want to give him up but I am starting to question if he ever really loved me at all?

1 comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything
Things Have Changed and I Feel Insecure In My Relationship

Things Have Changed and I Feel Insecure In My Relationship

Advice for a submissive who is feeling lost and insecure in their relationship when the sex life changes. Kayla tackles this really difficult topic.

Comments Off Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything
How Do I Help My Dom Give Me What I Need

How Do I Help My Dom Give Me What I Need

Are you both new to BDSM or D/s and want to know how to deepen your relationship and give each other what you want and need? Great advice is waiting for you.

Comments Off Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships
How To Get Over Being Angry When Punished

How To Get Over Being Angry When Punished

Having a hard time getting past being angry with your Dominant when you’ve been punished? Mrs. Darling provides some great advice on processing your emotions surrounding corporal punishment.

3 comments Posted by Mrs. Darling | Posted in: Ask Anything, BDSM Fundamentals
Create a Transition: Moving Between D/s and Vanilla Lives

Create a Transition: Moving Between D/s and Vanilla Lives

That wall between your vanilla life and your D/s life is hard to climb. Kayla gives you a great tip of a transition routine to make it a lot easier for you.

Comments Off Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything
Ask lunaKM – Quickies: Dog Collars,  Task Lists and Con-artist Doms

Ask lunaKM – Quickies: Dog Collars, Task Lists and Con-artist Doms

It’s time for another round of quick answers for questions you have sent in! Dear SG, I’m wondering if a dog prong collar would be safe to use for a collar? I’m intrigued by the sharpness of it but don’t want to use one if it’d be too dangerous. You gave me a vision of [...]

Comments Off Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything
My Master Wants to Have Sex With Other People

My Master Wants to Have Sex With Other People

Is it normal for your Master to want to play and have sex with others?

1 comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything
Sexual Injury From Fisting – Should We Try Again?

Sexual Injury From Fisting – Should We Try Again?

Scared to have sex after a previous severe injury – Kayla gives this reader some advice.

1 comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything
How Do I Manage a Long Distance D/s Relationship Due to Deployment?

How Do I Manage a Long Distance D/s Relationship Due to Deployment?

I’m new at this, he’s a dominant. But he’s leaving for 9 months deployment and I don’t know how to do this long distance relationship.

8 comments Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything
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