Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

Views & More…

A broad mish-mash of opinions, views and thoughts that don’t fit in any one category.

Ask Anything View All

Ask lunaKM – What Should I Expect from My Dominant?

Luna, what is reasonable to expect from a dominant in exchange for submission and service? I realize everyone is different, but when a sub is not being financially supported and is doing household care and management, handling the everyday paperwork of bill paying, handling home repair calls, etc.; assuming her Dom is loving, caring, what else [...]

11, January | Leave a comment

Ask Submissive Guide – Being Transgender and Public BDSM Play

Dear Submissive Guide, I’m new to the scene and realizing I’m very interested in submission and masochism. I’m also gay and transgender (an FtM who is attracted to men). I’m gearing up the courage to go to a play party, and while I might not play at my first one I will want to play [...]

4, January | Leave a comment

Ask Submissive Guide – Finding a Dominant

Dear Submissive Guide, How do I find a Dom? I know I want to be a sub but I’m lost, I don’t know how to find a Dom and live the way I want to. Sincerely,Looking for a Dom  Hey there! You’ve asked a question that every single submissive asks themselves at some point: Where [...]

7, December | 3 comments

Newsletter Archive View All

Play Nice: Some Notes on Scene Etiquette and Leather Protocol (Part 1 of 7) – General Principles

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 10-9-16 by Ambrosio. This was first published on Ambrosio’s site and has a free to distribute license. Abrosio dedicated this article to Beverly M. in Austin. Good Manners vs. Correct Protocol “Manners are of more importance than laws. Manners are what vex or soothe, corrupt or purify, exalt or debase, [...]

9, January | Leave a comment

Every Good Conversation Starts with Good Listening

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 9/24/16 “The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.” Submissive Guide was started not to just share what I know, it is also, at least for me, a way to continue to learn by talking out my struggles and answering the questions presented to [...]

2, January | 1 comment

Must I Always Wait for My Dominant to Tell me What to Do?

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 9-10-16 The topic for this article came to me from a reader survey I did over a year ago where I asked you what was most pressing to your at that moment and this question, “must I always wait for my Dom to tell me what to do?” came up. [...]

5, December | 1 comment

Research Pages View All

Polyamorous Resources From Around the Web

Every once and awhile, I get a message from a friend on Facebook or a reader asking me about polyamory resources since they know I’m in a polyamorous relationship. My usual response is give me a few days and I’ll get back to them after I go through my bookmarks so, I thought it would [...]

5, January | Leave a comment

The Best Resources for Littles, Adult Babies, and Diaper Lovers

About a month ago, I got an email from a reader telling me that she and her dominant are interested in the Daddy/little girl lifestyle and asked me if I knew of any other online resources other than my previous articles that have appeared here on Submissive Guide. Sadly to say, I didn’t have many [...]

3, December | Leave a comment

Research Page: 24/7 Slavery

When I research a topic I tend to come up with a lot of links to places that have valuable information. These research pages are a storehouse of those resources that crossed my path. I hope they help you in your own study. Web Links Living the Lifestyle 24/7 10 Principles for Healthy 24/7 D/s [...]

28, January | 3 comments

Reviews View All

Book Review: Broken Toys: Submissives with Mental Illness and Neurological Dysfunction by Raven Kaldera and Del Tashlin

There are a lot of us in the lifestyle who deal with mental illness or a type of neurological dysfunction. There are numerous groups on Fetlife and articles on the Internet dealing with being in a power exchange relationship when having a mental illness. Unfortunately, there aren’t that many sources about being in a power [...]

10, January | Leave a comment

9 Books on BDSM and D/s I’ve Read More Than Once (They’re THAT Good!)

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 7/9/16 When I started exploring BDSM and D/s relationships in 2003 there weren’t a lot of resources available. Those that were available were considered bibles of BDSM, essential reading for those who wanted books to read. (Which seems self-serving since they were the only resources, of  course people suggested reading [...]

14, November | Leave a comment

Book Review: The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge by Tristan Taormino

In my quest to read books that have been sitting at the bottom of my Kindle library for awhile now, I stumbled across The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play, and the Erotic Edge edited by Tristian Taormino. I had even forgotten that I had purchased this book. I feel a bit stupid for [...]

3, November | Leave a comment

Roundtable Discussions View All

Enough to Make You Blush – Subguide Book Club Week 4: Ch 15-End

Welcome to the final week: Today through March 3rd. Read and discuss Chapters 15-End There are a lot of new and interesting activities in this reading section! I admit to enjoying a few of them *blush*. If you’re here, you have read to the end or are currently reading it! Please go ahead and start [...]

26, February | 3 comments

Enough to Make You Blush – Subguide Book Club Week 3: Ch 8-14

Welcome to Week 3: Today through February 25th Read and discuss Chapters 8-14 There are a lot of new and interesting activities in this reading section! I admit to enjoying a few of them *blush*. If you’re here, you have read the 3rd part, or are currently reading it! Please go ahead and start (or [...]

19, February | 6 comments

Enough to Make You Blush: – SubGuide Book Club Week 2: Ch 4-7

Welcome to Week 2: Today through February 18th Read and discuss Chapters 4-7 If you’re here, you have read the second part, or are currently reading it! Please go ahead and start (or continue) the conversation!  Remember to come back to continue to respond to others who comment throughout the week (and month)!  Write as [...]

12, February | 5 comments

Sponsors View All

Who says being on the bottom doesn’t pay? I make $45,000 a year sexting as a sub.

This is a paid advertorial for Arousr.com. Living off of ramen noodles and waiting tables to (barely) afford rent was the norm for my college experience. Although if you had told me at the time that I could make double what I was earning in a fraction of the time, I would not have believed [...]

21, April | Leave a comment

BDSM Relationships: Strings or no-Strings

So what sort of BDSM partner is it you’re looking for? It seems like such a simple question, after all when we think about BDSM we immediately picture a casual encounter where anything goes. However that is simply not the case, much like any situation involving two consenting people the options available to you are [...]

4, September | 3 comments

Vivian’s New Ebook “What He Wants: A Man’s Seven Secret Spanking Desires”

 Vivian has a new book!  Order your copy of “What He Wants” today for $12.95 Order Now BY CLICKING BELOW: Your PayPal transaction is secure, instant and completely confidential. You do not need a PayPal account to purchase the book.

1, October | Leave a comment

SubWise View All

SubWise #9 – Scene Music

Last week I asked you to talk all about favorite music for play time. Here are the submissions I received. There is some excellent thoughts here folks! Check it out. Make sure you leave comments! (Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.) pet’s journey The conversation isn’t over. If you [...]

21, April | 6 comments

SubWise #9: Scene Music – Participation Request

Its time for SubWise! You know what to do by now. I’m going to give you a topic to write about and your task goes like this: Write about the topic in your blog or online journal. You don’t have to have a blog to participate. If you have a FetLife account you can use your [...]

13, April | Leave a comment

SubWise #8 – Submission in Public

Last week I asked you to talk all about submission in public. Make sure you leave comments! (Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.) pet’s journey The conversation isn’t over. If you would like to share your thoughts, please do so in the comments!

19, March | 14 comments

Video Posts View All

[Video Post] 3 Challenges of Having Rules in a D/s Relationship

In the previous video about rules I talked about how to set up rules in an D/s or M/s relationship and the incorporating them into your relaxed or structured dynamic. Check out the previous video post if you missed it. Today I want to talk abut after rules are selected and you are practicing them [...]

16, September | 1 comment

[Video Post] Adding Rules in a D/s (or M/s) Relationship

Disclaimer: I’m well aware that some relationships do not have rules for the submissive/slave to follow. This talk will be about the relationships that use rules and task lists for submissive behavior and expectation. Many D/s relationships start by establishing a few ground rules for the submissive to follow. It is one of the more [...]

11, April | 1 comment

[Video Post] What Does Service Submission REALLY Mean?

Service. It’s something that a lot of submissive say they are into giving. But what does that mean? I guess a lot of us, myself included, just assume that once you “get it” that you already understand what service entails, but the new submissives among us, and those that don’t perform service on a regular [...]

31, March | 3 comments

Webmaster Notes View All

Submissive Guide Takes a Holiday

From everyone here at Submissive Guide, including myself, my contributor team, KnyghtMare, my Master and the guy behind the site and server I want to wish you a very happy holidays. With every holiday, the site takes a break and I wanted to let you know that while we spend time with friends and family, [...]

23, December | Comments Off

Day of Remembrance: US Memorial Day

Please take some time today to honor the original reason Memorial Day exists. We need to put the “memorial” back in Memorial Day and observe the day as it was originally intended. We need to decorate the graves of the fallen, visit their memorials, and support the care of these cemeteries and memorials so that [...]

30, May | 1 comment

[Paid Position] Regular Contributors Wanted

Do you want to make a bit of extra money and help support an excellent submissive resource? I’m always looking for guest posts about anything pertaining to BDSM and submission. If you think you are a good fit for the writing that already exists here I’d love to talk with you. I’m looking for a [...]

29, May | Comments Off

Other Articles View All

Solo-Coaching – Tearing Down Old Defensive Behaviors

Solo-Coaching – Tearing Down Old Defensive Behaviors

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 8-13-16 We’ve all probably uttered this phrase a time or two when having a heated conversation with a loved one, “you’re becoming defensive.” From the time we are born, we learn defensive mechanisms that are meant to protect us from pain and trauma. A child’s first defense is to cry, [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Personal Growth
Ask Submissive Guide – He Cheated and I’m Not Over It Yet

Ask Submissive Guide – He Cheated and I’m Not Over It Yet

Hello SG, I’m struggling with a problem that has been following me for quite some time now. My Dominant and I have been through hell and high water, involving ‘light’ cheating (sexting each other, meeting up, but did not have sex) while I was away on holiday with family. This was almost a year ago. [...]

2 comments Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships
Ask Submissive Guide – My Dominant Says and Does Things I Didn’t Agree To

Ask Submissive Guide – My Dominant Says and Does Things I Didn’t Agree To

Dear Submissive Guide, In May I met a wonderful Dom online. We talked on the phone every night and I was over the moon for him. He was the first to say I love you and my self-protect wall started to melt. In my dating profile, I was explicit about not wanting to relocate because [...]

1 comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything
It’s November Which Means Nanowrimo and the Annual Ebook Sale!

It’s November Which Means Nanowrimo and the Annual Ebook Sale!

This November I’m going to try to write 50,000 words in one month and draft my very first book! That’s right, a real, going to print someday, book! I’m nervous and excited and hopefully I’ll do it! Nanowrimo stands for National Novel Writing Month and a ton of people will be doing the same thing. [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Views & More...
Ask Anything – Feeling Insecure

Ask Anything – Feeling Insecure

Dear Submissive Guide, I am a sub and I have an amazing Master. He is loving, caring, respectful and just everything a sub could ask for. He collared me 6 months ago and we moved in together 2 months ago. We get along great in every area so far. The problem is this, lately, I’ve [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything
Ask Submissive Guide: How Do I Help My Dom Give Me What I Need

Ask Submissive Guide: How Do I Help My Dom Give Me What I Need

Hi SG, I’m relatively experienced when it comes to submission. I’ve submitted in play to a number of delightful Dommes and pushed my boundaries nicely over the years.  I’ve never had a long term D’s relationship, though. I’m just entering into a relationship with a lady who is highly sexed and thoroughly enjoying the power. [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships
Ask Submissive Guide: Getting Angry Over Punishment

Ask Submissive Guide: Getting Angry Over Punishment

Hello, I have a question. I’m having a hard time getting past just being angry when my Dom punishes me. Specifically corporal punishment. I understand what I do wrong but it is so hard to just lay there and take it as they say. I don’t want to start a conflict with Sir, I just [...]

3 comments Posted by Mrs. Darling | Posted in: Ask Anything, BDSM Fundamentals
Book Review: Paradigms of Power: Styles of Master/Slave Relationships

Book Review: Paradigms of Power: Styles of Master/Slave Relationships

Ever since reading Real Service by Raven Kaldera, I’ve been strongly drawn to read more books by him. He’s phenomenal and knows what he’s talking about. I have recommended his books numerous times to others. He’s written about so many various topics, there’s something out there for everyone. Paradigms of Power: Styles of Master/Slave Relationships [...]

Leave a comment Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Community, Relationships, Views & More...
7 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Was New to BDSM

7 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Was New to BDSM

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 6-25-16 As a slave (who used to identify as a submissive, who used to identify as a masochist bottom) I was new at one time (yes really!!). When I came into the lifestyle I was all wide eyes, excitement and healthy dose of caution just days after learning that there [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Personal Growth
Ask Anything: Handling the Vanilla Side of Things

Ask Anything: Handling the Vanilla Side of Things

Dear Submissive Guide, So, I am totally a newbie. I do have a Master but due to our personal/vanilla lives, it is limited & very part-time. My Master has not participated in the lifestyle for 12 years. My question is do you have any info on transitioning from submissive side back to my vanilla? We [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything

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