Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

Views & More…

A broad mish-mash of opinions, views and thoughts that don’t fit in any one category.

Ask Anything View All

What Do I Call My Dominant?

A Dominant can have a variety of titles. Which one will you pick? We have a small list of common and not so common names you could use for your Dominant. Check out the list and find the one that feels the best to you or use it to inspire your own ideas for Dominant titles!

19, April | Leave a comment

Feeling Like a Parrot: Saying What He Wants to Hear Instead of a Sincere Response

Do you feel like a parrot when your Dominant asks you to respond in a specific way after a request is given? Learn how to discuss this issue with your partner and work to come to an agreement.

5, April | 1 comment

How To Express Submissiveness as a Little

How can I show my submissiveness in a little girl way without falling into total servitude and then becoming more like a slave?

15, March | 1 comment

Newsletter Archive View All

The Role Sex Plays in a D/s Relationship

Sex and how we’ve learned about sex can form our own opinions about how sexual D/s forms in our lives and how we respond to it. The emphasis of sex in a D/s relationship comes about in a variety of forms and is only limited by your imagination. What role does it play in your relationship?

1, May | Leave a comment

New to D/s Relationships? Here’s Your Foolproof Guide to Starting Out – Part 1

What makes a D/s relationship so different from mainstream relationships? Learn the key differences, how you can apply what you learn to your own relationships and watch it develop into your most fulfilling relationship possible.

20, March | 5 comments

An Open Letter to Everyone Who Wants to Know What a D/s Relationship is Supposed to Look Like

When people ask me what a D/s relationship is like, my first thought is that it is ‘like any other relationship,’ but that’s not entirely accurate. Let me tell you what the common misconceptions are and then we can talk about the reality of a D/s relationship. You may be surprised to learn that they aren’t as foreign as you think.

30, January | 3 comments

Research Pages View All

BDSM How To: Wax Play

A fantastic little how to get started with Wax Play! Important points include candle temperature and what you need to get going with your own scene.

7, March | 2 comments

Polyamory Resources From Around the Web

Every once and awhile, I get a message from a friend on Facebook or a reader asking me about polyamory resources since they know I’m in a polyamorous relationship. My usual response is give me a few days and I’ll get back to them after I go through my bookmarks so, I thought it would [...]

5, January | Leave a comment

The Best Resources for Littles, Adult Babies, and Diaper Lovers

About a month ago, I got an email from a reader telling me that she and her dominant are interested in the Daddy/little girl lifestyle and asked me if I knew of any other online resources other than my previous articles that have appeared here on Submissive Guide. Sadly to say, I didn’t have many [...]

3, December | Leave a comment

Reviews View All

Book Review: The Big Book for Littles by Penny Barber

The Big Book for Littles is really great for those who are new and exploring the little or age play dynamic. This review is a quick analysis and shares why you too should pick up this book if you or your partner identify as a little.

25, April | Leave a comment

Book Review: Broken Toys: Submissives with Mental Illness and Neurological Dysfunction

If you are a s-type who suffers from a mental or neurological disorder or both, tequilarose can’t recommend this book enough. It truly is one of a kind and full of great information and perspectives. Read the full review and decide for yourself!

10, January | Leave a comment

9 Books on BDSM and D/s I’ve Read More Than Once (They’re THAT Good!)

You have to admit that the books that resonate with you the most, are ones you’ve read more than once. Here’s my list of 9 of the best BDSM and D/s related books that I’ve pulled off the shelf time and time again.

14, November | 3 comments

Roundtable Discussions View All

Enough to Make You Blush – Subguide Book Club Week 4: Ch 15-End

Read and discuss Chapters 15-End

26, February | 3 comments

Enough to Make You Blush – Subguide Book Club Week 3: Ch 8-14

Welcome to Week 3: Today through February 25th Read and discuss Chapters 8-14 There are a lot of new and interesting activities in this reading section! I admit to enjoying a few of them *blush*. If you’re here, you have read the 3rd part, or are currently reading it! Please go ahead and start (or [...]

19, February | 6 comments

Enough to Make You Blush: – SubGuide Book Club Week 2: Ch 4-7

Welcome to Week 2: Today through February 18th Read and discuss Chapters 4-7 If you’re here, you have read the second part, or are currently reading it! Please go ahead and start (or continue) the conversation!  Remember to come back to continue to respond to others who comment throughout the week (and month)!  Write as [...]

12, February | 5 comments

Sponsors View All

Who says being on the bottom doesn’t pay? I make $45,000 a year sexting as a sub.

This is a paid advertorial for Arousr.com.

21, April | Leave a comment

BDSM Relationships: Strings or no-Strings

So what sort of BDSM partner is it you’re looking for? It seems like such a simple question, after all when we think about BDSM we immediately picture a casual encounter where anything goes. However that is simply not the case, much like any situation involving two consenting people the options available to you are [...]

4, September | 3 comments

Vivian’s New Ebook “What He Wants: A Man’s Seven Secret Spanking Desires”

 Vivian has a new book!  Order your copy of “What He Wants” today for $12.95 Order Now BY CLICKING BELOW: Your PayPal transaction is secure, instant and completely confidential. You do not need a PayPal account to purchase the book.

1, October | Leave a comment

SubWise View All

SubWise #9 – Scene Music

Last week I asked you to talk all about favorite music for play time. Here are the submissions I received. There is some excellent thoughts here folks! Check it out. Make sure you leave comments! (Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.) pet’s journey The conversation isn’t over. If you [...]

21, April | 6 comments

SubWise #9: Scene Music – Participation Request

Its time for SubWise! You know what to do by now. I’m going to give you a topic to write about and your task goes like this: Write about the topic in your blog or online journal. You don’t have to have a blog to participate. If you have a FetLife account you can use your [...]

13, April | Leave a comment

SubWise #8 – Submission in Public

Last week I asked you to talk all about submission in public. Make sure you leave comments! (Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.) pet’s journey The conversation isn’t over. If you would like to share your thoughts, please do so in the comments!

19, March | 14 comments

Video Posts View All

[Video Post] Define This! Punishment and Funishment

In this video series, I define terms that readers have asked me about! This one is the comparison of funishment and punishment. Do you have a term you’d like defined? Let me know.

8, February | 1 comment

[Video Post] 3 Challenges of Having Rules in a D/s Relationship

Three challenges that come about after rules are selected and you are practicing them or have had them for a long time.

16, September | 1 comment

[Video Post] Adding Rules in a D/s (or M/s) Relationship

Adding rules to a dynamic, whether for the first time or continuing a list is not easy.

11, April | 1 comment

Webmaster Notes View All

How to Connect with Submissive Guide

Over the last 5 years Submissive Guide has grown from an idea – into a hobby site where I thought out loud about what I’d learned about BDSM and Dominance and submission – into a thriving community of thousands of readers all contributing to the common pot of knowledge on the topic that we all share [...]

21, January | 3 comments

Privacy and Comments – From an Email

I thought I should address this because if one person thought it, then others did too. In my last post about the Community moving and preparing for big changes I mentioned that the comments and activity in the community is private – search engines can’t get there because you have to be logged in to [...]

9, August | Leave a comment

Donate to Submissive Guide

Submissive Guide is run by your donations, and affiliate purchases. I’m looking ahead into my 2nd year providing quality writing that is meant to help submissives everywhere learn about themselves and the services they wish to provide. I could use your help. If you find Submissive Guide to be a valuable resource, please consider making [...]

14, December | Leave a comment

Other Articles View All

How to Approach a Couple into Kink and Polyamory when You are New

How to Approach a Couple into Kink and Polyamory when You are New

Be realistic with yourself about what you are offering, but when you are new to Kink and Polyamory there’s a lot of conversation that needs to happen. Here’s what you should discuss.

Leave a comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything
Teased With No Relief: How to Address Orgasm Denial Because Dominant Gets Too Busy and Forgets

Teased With No Relief: How to Address Orgasm Denial Because Dominant Gets Too Busy and Forgets

How do you cope with sexual frustration? Kayla helps you figure out what you should do when you have been teased and then left high and dry when your partner gets too busy.

Leave a comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships
Am I Too Clingy for Submission? Emotional Attachment and Vulnerability

Am I Too Clingy for Submission? Emotional Attachment and Vulnerability

Have we gone too fast? Emotional vulnerability and surviving sub frenzy within a relationship are hard. Kayla walks you through some simple steps to work out how to talk about it with your partner.

Leave a comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything
How Do I Let Him Know I’m Committed to Him?

How Do I Let Him Know I’m Committed to Him?

How can I tell my partner that I’m not going anywhere and am interested in a long term relationship and possibly marriage?

Leave a comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything, Beginner Basics
What Should I Expect from My Dominant?

What Should I Expect from My Dominant?

What is reasonable to expect from a dominant in exchange for submission and service? Let’s figure out what you need in order to feel that your power exchange is fulfilling and personal.

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything
Play Nice: Some Notes on Scene  Etiquette and Leather Protocol (Part 1 of 7) – General Principles

Play Nice: Some Notes on Scene Etiquette and Leather Protocol (Part 1 of 7) – General Principles

Ambrosio brings us a series of posts on Leather protocol and etiquette. In this introductory post, we touch on the very basics of manners and appropriate behavior in BDSM situations.

Leave a comment Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Community, Newsletter Archive
How To Navigate Public BDSM Play as a Transgender Person

How To Navigate Public BDSM Play as a Transgender Person

Do what makes you feel most comfortable, and you’ll be doing it “right.”

Leave a comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything, Play and Sex
Every Good Conversation Starts with Good Listening

Every Good Conversation Starts with Good Listening

Communication comes up frequently as a key topic to developing and maintaining healthy, open relationships. But many of us don’t know what good communication looks like and have problems with at least one part of good communication techniques.

3 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Relationships
How Do I Find a Dominant?

How Do I Find a Dominant?

How DO you go about finding a Dominant in this modern world? Here’s a short list of ways you can begin to search for a Dominant partner.

4 comments Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships
Must I Always Wait for My Dominant to Tell me What to Do?

Must I Always Wait for My Dominant to Tell me What to Do?

You aren’t a doormat. As a submissive, you can have autonomy and an active submission you can be proud of. So, must you always wait for orders? You tell me.

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Newsletter Archive