Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

Social Norms

Do we go with the flow or against the grain? Learning what society expects and what the D/s community can provide as far as new rules and belief systems.

Spirituality View All

You Are Not Going To Hell

You Are Not Going To Hell

To be honest I never gave faith much thought when I discovered I was kinky. I had been drifting away from organized religion for years, but when I read on a blog (which I can’t recall now) that someone was having to come to terms with her Christianity and desires for kink/submission it made me [...]

16 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Spirituality
A Great Example of a Slave’s Rosary

A Great Example of a Slave’s Rosary

On FetLife quite awhile back now, a slave posted her version of a rosary with her Master as the focus. As with any rosary or prayer beads, it is used in mediation and presents a spirituality in service that can be adopted and adapted to fit your relationship. I’ve always had a curiosity with religious [...]

15 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Mindset, Spirituality, Submission
Finding Your Spirituality In Service

Finding Your Spirituality In Service

A recent journal prompt I came across really inspired me to write about it.  It is spirituality. A lot of what I hear about spirituality is related to religion, but BDSM can be spiritual too and I’d like to explore that with you. What is the relationship between spirituality and religion? Is BDSM spiritual? –Submissive [...]

7 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Mindset, Service, Spirituality

Other Articles View All

A Reflection of Your Dominant

A Reflection of Your Dominant

You are a Reflection of Your Dominant – Or Are You? I’ve heard this numerous times and I’m sure I’m not the only one. Kind, good-intentioned people say that submissives should be on their best behavior because they are the reflection of the Dominant who owns them. The personal responsibility of the submissive is all [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Personal Growth, Social Norms
What’s In a Name?

What’s In a Name?

Over the years I have had quite a few online names and aliases. Some have stayed with me, some haven’t. Some should never have existed in the first place because they were just *bad* Choosing a scene name is one thing if it is only ever going to be used online, but it takes a [...]

11 comments Posted by thisgirl | Posted in: Play/Scene, Social Norms
Table Manners

Table Manners

Table Manners-from the things no one should have to say, to the things that you may not have even known. There are many times that we will share a meal with someone. Bad manners or exceptional manners will ALWAYS get attention while acceptable ones may go unnoticed. But, this is such an easy way to [...]

2 comments Posted by LaneyDoll | Posted in: Social Norms
Discretion in the BDSM Community – Anonymity and Personal Privacy Concerns

Discretion in the BDSM Community – Anonymity and Personal Privacy Concerns

I was asked in email a while ago about how safe BDSM groups are for people in high profile careers and the risk of being exposed. It’s a valid concern for anyone that seeks outside support and knowledge so I thought I’d share with you what I had to say to this person. Here’s their [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Social Norms

Assent Matters

This is a guest post by SherynB. Please take the time to read the whole thing. It’s an important issue that needs to be addressed. Okay, there’s a 600lb gorilla in the room, and I’m done pretending it’s not there. What we do isn’t pretty or politically correct, and frankly, it’s dangerous if we can’t get (and [...]

8 comments Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Safety, Social Norms
Altered Submissive Speech – Thoughts and Ideas

Altered Submissive Speech – Thoughts and Ideas

I was once an online submissive. I know a bit about the language and grammar rules that reside there. They are creative and interesting and serve their purpose online. When you bring them into real life they get more annoying, but in some relationships and dynamics they still serve their purpose. What language adjustments am [...]

3 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Social Norms, Submission
To Hug or Not To Hug

To Hug or Not To Hug

Hi, my name is Laney and I am a hug slut. I admit it, I love a good hug. As such, imagine how hard it was for me, entering the world of BDSM where a hug in greeting is not always possible. At my dungeon, like all dungeons, we have a set of rules that [...]

1 comment Posted by LaneyDoll | Posted in: Social Norms

Talking About BDSM to Vanilla Folk: What to Say and What to Avoid

From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 4/16/11 Every semester I present a BDSM panel at my alma mater for the Human Sexuality class. I’ve been doing it for almost 8 years now and it doesn’t appear to be ending any time soon. The teacher always asks for me to pull some people together and says that [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Social Norms
Going to the Doctor with Kink-Related Marks or Bruises

Going to the Doctor with Kink-Related Marks or Bruises

It’s happened to the best of us. You and your partner got a little frisky the other day and now you have a few bruises that haven’t faded yet. Your Doctor’s appointment is this afternoon, what do you do? First of all, don’t panic. Then, don’t cancel your appointment until you have read this post. [...]

8 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Play/Scene, Social Norms
Being About It: Honor and Integrity

Being About It: Honor and Integrity

I had originally planned to write about a different topic, was well on my way in developing the article, then I realized at some point that I kept coming back to just what is honor and integrity? So here we have it my exploration on the subject… Honor and integrity, we say and hear these [...]

1 comment Posted by Charmed Blyss | Posted in: Social Norms