Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

Safety

Warnings and protection of your personal safety.

Articles

A Lesson on The Importance of Online Safety from Kitty Thomas’ “Tender Mercies”

A Lesson on The Importance of Online Safety from Kitty Thomas’ “Tender Mercies”

In my continuous effort to read the books that have been in the bottom of my Kindle, I came across Kitty Thomas’ Tender Mercies. It wasn’t until I finished it and was writing a review that I realized what a great lesson this piece of fiction can teach those in the lifestyle, especially those that [...]

Leave a comment Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Safety
[Freebie] Behind Closed Doors: BDSM with Kids in the Home

[Freebie] Behind Closed Doors: BDSM with Kids in the Home

This month’s free report is a compilation of essays from Submissive Guide about parenting and BDSM, children in the home and navigating quiet play and so many other concerns about being parents and also in a D/s relationship. I hope you enjoy it. Download Now!

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Play and Sex, Relationships, Safety

Hitting the Wall During Play – Limit’s Edge

This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. The Wall: The Wall is one identification of the limit that the mind and body are physically capable of processing. Some submissives will talk about ‘hitting the Wall’ or ‘White Out’. This is [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Play and Sex, Safety
‘Innocently’ Outing Fellow Lifestylers

‘Innocently’ Outing Fellow Lifestylers

I’ll never forget during my first few months of being involved in the Lifestyle community, I ran into someone who frequented my back-then place of employment at a local play party. Personally, it didn’t faze me any at all due to my thinking – we’re at the same place pretty much for the same reason, [...]

Leave a comment Posted by charmed blyss | Posted in: Community, Safety
31 Days of Submissive Journaling: Day 16 – Should You Try to Make Money with Your Blog?

31 Days of Submissive Journaling: Day 16 – Should You Try to Make Money with Your Blog?

Blogs come in all sorts of styles and designs these days. Some are personal journals and others like Submissive Guide is a business and resource. So, it might go without saying that having an online presence is an opportunity to make money with ads. But it’s far from easy and take it from someone with experience, [...]

The Thrill of Knife Play

The Thrill of Knife Play

“I learn in that very first instant the thrill of knife play. I have never encountered anything better able to make my body submit. Fast. As the sharp edge touches my jugular I am terrified to move a single millimeter anywhere on my body. I focus all my mental energy on keeping my physical body [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Mrs. Darling | Posted in: Play and Sex, Safety
Beyond Limits: The Illusion of Safety

Beyond Limits: The Illusion of Safety

This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Sometimes it seems that people want and need the security they feel by putting rules in writing. Contracts, restrictions, regulations. Each of these is a way of limiting the free expression of ourselves [...]

1 comment Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Safety
I’m Afraid of My Long Distance Dom

I’m Afraid of My Long Distance Dom

Dear Annie, I am in a dom/sub relationship long distance, One that has become very stressful for me. I am punished it seems like every day to stay in favor and because of the distance, it is monetary payment. It is breaking me down financially and mentally, it seems I get nothing from this relationship. [...]

3 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships, Safety
Alcohol and Kink Don’t Mix – Being Under the Influence Negates Consent

Alcohol and Kink Don’t Mix – Being Under the Influence Negates Consent

Okay, so here I go again stepping into what may be a heated topic for many people, but I’m going to say it anyway. Kink and alcohol (or drug use) don’t mix. Now, let me clarify what I mean. If you drink or smoke pot or do something else, more power to you. Me? I [...]

3 comments Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Play and Sex, Safety
What Happens After You Use Your Safeword?

What Happens After You Use Your Safeword?

You have a safeword for your BDSM kinky fun. Right? I know there’s a debate in the world of BDSM and D/s between the safeword crew and those who don’t want one. I land firmly on the side of having a safeword – always. It’s rarely used but it’s always there. We could debate the [...]

12 comments Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Play and Sex, Safety
How Do I Ask for More Aftercare?

How Do I Ask for More Aftercare?

I have experienced sub drop for the first time. I’ve felt down after play but never like this. My dom and I met on Fetlife, and I am his second sub- the other is his best friend.  We all get on really well, and he is super attentive, but I still worry about being an [...]

2 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Beginner Basics, Safety
Safewords During Disciplinary Punishment: Yay or Nay?

Safewords During Disciplinary Punishment: Yay or Nay?

Recently I was in a discussion about safewords, but it wasn’t the usual definitions and whether they are truly useful so I thought I’d work though my thoughts on it here and share it with you. The question that was presented was whether safewords should be allowed during punishment and if they weren’t was that [...]

11 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Safety
photo by winnifredxoxo (https://www.flickr.com/photos/61056899@N06/) CC BY 2.0

The Checks and Balances in Power Exchange

There are things we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go. -Author Unknown Very dear to my heart is a less-than-sexy but necessary dialogue that revolves around maintaining a healthy Power Exchange dynamic. [...]

8 comments Posted by Mrs. Darling | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Safety
When Play is No Longer Play: Recognizing Abuse in a BDSM Relationship

When Play is No Longer Play: Recognizing Abuse in a BDSM Relationship

There seems to be this very misguided idea that it is entirely acceptable for the dominant partner in a relationship to participate in aggressive play when they are angry, so long as it is referred to as a scene or as being kinky. I am going to tell you on no uncertain terms that if [...]

8 comments Posted by andyiccee | Posted in: Relationships, Safety
DIY: Knife & Blood Play

DIY: Knife & Blood Play

Trigger Warning: Blood play, cutting, blood and knives When I first filled out my BDSM checklist, I felt entirely insufficient. For every one activity that I really wanted to try, there were two that I said I never wanted to try. There seemed to be infinitely more zeros (which indicated hard limits) than threes (which [...]

6 comments Posted by andyiccee | Posted in: Play and Sex, Safety
How BDSM, SSC, and Feminism Work Together

How BDSM, SSC, and Feminism Work Together

I am an avid feminist. I believe in the equality of men and women in every way and I am not shy in voicing my opinion. I work for the campus women’s center promoting healthy relationships, anti-rape campaigns, and an awareness that the world is not as equal as many people like to pretend. I [...]

1 comment Posted by andyiccee | Posted in: Relationships, Safety
Sub Drop From Afar: Managing Sub Drop in a Long Distance Relationship

Sub Drop From Afar: Managing Sub Drop in a Long Distance Relationship

Sub drop is the feeling of hopelessness and depression that can follow the extreme rush of endorphins during intense play or sex if the sub is not cared for appropriately afterwards. Care varies from person to person – some of us need to be held and cuddled and praised and iced or hot packed accordingly, [...]

3 comments Posted by andyiccee | Posted in: Play and Sex, Safety
photo by winnifredxoxo (https://www.flickr.com/photos/61056899@N06/) CC BY 2.0

A Mental Predicament: Balancing Wants and Needs

Welcome new contributor andyiccee! My Master and I have been together for nearly three years, we have been through family crises, late studying nights, and more fights than I can count, but we always come out stronger on the other side. Integrating S&M into our sex life was a very simple transition, we communicated fantasies, [...]

1 comment Posted by andyiccee | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Safety
Below the Mood of Blue, by charmed blyss

Below the Mood of Blue: One Girl’s Experience With Depression

Disclaimer: Though this post deals with depression and suicide, please note that blyss is not a mental health professional, this article isn’t written to diagnose or outline professional treatment for any mental illness. A short list of suggested reading and resources will be provided at the end of the post. If you are having thoughts of suicide, please [...]

4 comments Posted by charmed blyss | Posted in: Personal Growth, Safety
Ask lunaKM – Is he Dominant or Domineering?

Ask lunaKM – Is he Dominant or Domineering?

Luna, I got involved with dominant man, long distance then face to face. I knew him as friend and he guided me into his spanko world. Somehow my experience left me debased and questioning is he dominant or just domineering. He was condescending to me even knowing that I never been spanked. Insisted on bruising [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Safety
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