What NOT to Share on Your Online Profile

This video post is about what not to share on your online profile.
We all have one somewhere. FetLife being all the rage right now, but also we have alt.com, collarme.com, bondage.com and others where we place ads and identity profiles up to get people interested. This interest can be friends or relationship related; it doesn’t [...]

The Safety Disguise of Safewords

I’ve always believed that safewords are only good if you know how to use them. Good ole communication is great for things like numb limbs, an itch you can’t reach or a bathroom break.  Submissive Guide is here for novices and it’s always good to teach about safewords and recommend that you have one.
In every [...]

Assualt is NOT okay

This week’s video post is about an issue that needs more awareness.
I had someone ask me for some advice through my email the other day and it went something like this:
I just started exploring my kinky side and I’ve only shared it with a few other people. One person that found out started talking really [...]

First Meetings Done Safely

This week’s video post is on First Meetings Safety.
When you are ready to meet your dream Dominant for the first time, what goes through your mind? Do you think about safety at all or do the nervousness and excitment overload your common sense?
You may not think that safety is necessary for someone you’ve been talking [...]

Can I Be Abused in a BDSM Relationship?

This week’s video post is about BDSM vs. Abuse.
A BDSM relationship, especially one with sadomasochistic moments, is subject to questions all the time about it’s proximity to abuse. It is not uncommon to have people unfamiliar with BDSM to say that what we do is abuse and violence; we see it all the time portrayed [...]

A Single Submissive Packs a Toybag

If you intend to venture into play on a casual level or at play parties and clubs as a single submissive you need to arrive prepared for play. This includes having some of your own toys so that you don’t rely on Dominants being gracious enough to use their toys on you. It is not [...]

Identifying Fake Dominants and Posers

This week’s video tip is on Red Flags of Fake Dominants.
The question I was asked today is, “How do you identify fake Dominants and what are some red flags to be watchful of?”
First, what is a fake Dominant? A fake Dominant is someone who is just out for sex, fantasy and an easy lay. Fake [...]

4 Things to Look for in a Mentor

There are mentors in every area of life and situation. In BDSM it is sometimes recommended to newbies to pick up a mentor, but are never given the tools to find a mentor that is right for them. I know that when I first started out there were good people to be around and not [...]

RACK: An Alternative to SSC

In a previous post I talked about Safe, Sane and Consensual or SSC, a safety mantra that quite a bit of the BDSM community has picked up as a way to explain ourselves to non-lifestyle people. It’s an easy way to explain what can’t really be explained. I don’t intend to make this a primer [...]

10 Red Flags of Bad or Abusive Dominants

Predators and abusive Dominants are everywhere. I’ve seen them and been subjected to them in a casual relationship. Thankfully I escaped into a kind and loving relationship that I wouldn’t trade for the world. But how do you know the person you are with is an abuser and not just  a strict Dominant?
I’m going to [...]

Online Encounters and the Danger of Blind Faith

As a  novice submissive in this technology age you typically explore submission online in chat room and in instant messaging. There is nothing wrong with this avenue for dipping your toe in the water. There are, however, very real dangers that predators use to capture novices and can do more harm to your curiosity than [...]