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Coping with Release: The End of the Relationship

Coping with Release: The End of the Relationship

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 7/25/15 This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Relationships end. Sometimes through the willful choice of both partners, other times one may ask for or be released. In either case the ending of a relationship [...]

2 comments Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Relationships
Transitioning From Monogamy to Ethical Non-Monogamy

Transitioning From Monogamy to Ethical Non-Monogamy

This is written as a bode of encouragement to those who are struggling in moving from a monogamous relationship to a non-monogamous one. This is not my saying non-monogamy is the only way, or should be your way. This is not in any way to be read as implying negativity towards monogamy. This is also [...]

2 comments Posted by Mrs. Darling | Posted in: Relationships
Ask lunaKM – Overcoming the Fear of Being Triggered to Open a Dialogue

Ask lunaKM – Overcoming the Fear of Being Triggered to Open a Dialogue

Dear lunaKM, In a nutshell, my question is, how do I know if my masochistic tendencies come from a safe place? My Dom and I have both struggled with mental illness , and as such he has never felt comfortable with anything rougher than biting or hair pulling. However, we have never really talked about [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships
Death, Grief, and D/s: How to Help Your Dominant During a Time of Sadness

Death, Grief, and D/s: How to Help Your Dominant During a Time of Sadness

No matter what we want to believe or how we choose to behave, relationships are the same, whether you’re kinky or vanilla. People are still people with all of the same hopes, dreams, flaws, and beauty; kink is irrelevant. For those of you, like me, in long-term D/s relationships, or for those searching for your [...]

5 comments Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Relationships
Where All The Dominants Are and How to Find Them

Where All The Dominants Are and How to Find Them

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 8-8-15 Finding a partner is hard. We all know that dating is difficult in the best of times and adding in D/s or BDSM needs or desires just makes it harder still. But there are people out there and they are looking for you! Hopefully I’ve put together all the [...]

Book Review: Transforming Your Relationship: A Comprehensive Look into the Domestic Discipline Lifestyle by Clint and Chelsea

Book Review: Transforming Your Relationship: A Comprehensive Look into the Domestic Discipline Lifestyle by Clint and Chelsea

Transforming Your Relationship is by Clint and Chelsea, the couple who runs the blog Learning Domestic Discipline. They introduced the domestic discipline(DD) dynamic into their relationship back in 2008 and because there are so few resources out there for the dynamic, they began their blog in 2011 to help others who are interested in the DD dynamic. [...]

2 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Relationships, Reviews
Book Review: Power Circuits by Raven Kaldera

Book Review: Power Circuits by Raven Kaldera

After I read Real Service by Raven Kaldera and his slave Joshua Tenpenny, I knew I had to read more of their works because of how awesome Real Service is. I knew I would find their other books just as informational as I had Real Service. I wasn’t at all disappointed in Power Circuits. Power [...]

1 comment Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Relationships
How to Ask for What You Need as a Submissive

How to Ask for What You Need as a Submissive

There’s a really bad idea out there that Dominants decide everything and submissives simply accept it. Once you enter into your relationship, after initial negotiations, you’re expected to submit, serve, and wait for whatever your Dominant decides to do to you or for you. You do what you’re told and keep your mouth shut. Wrong! [...]

10 comments Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Relationships
Publically Domesticated, Privately Dominated – Subtle D/s in Public

Publically Domesticated, Privately Dominated – Subtle D/s in Public

One of the many delightful side-effects of moving to the same country as my Dom is that we get to actually DO couple things. We get to go out on dates, go out with other couples as a couple, invite people to our home for dinner parties—all of the grown up stuff that my parents [...]

4 comments Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Relationships
Transformed: How Power Exchange Changed Us For The Better

Transformed: How Power Exchange Changed Us For The Better

When I first accepted BDSM into my life, it was like opening a hidden door to my soul and walking through it. That destination, that place of arrival, had nothing to do with sex. (Well, maybe the tiniest bit.) My marriage was dying. It was my second marriage (quite the accomplishment for being in my [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Mrs. Darling | Posted in: Personal Growth, Relationships
“Woman Patient And Medical Instrument” by Sura Nualpradid courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

M/s and When Life Happens: Dealing With Health Challenges and Death

When we imagine an ideal world, it’s pretty safe to say that for most of us, that perfect world wouldn’t include illness, disabilities, and death. Everyone would have bodies that are strong, capable, and able to do any and all activities the heart desires. On this side of creation, that type of world doesn’t exist, [...]

4 comments Posted by charmed blyss | Posted in: Health and Beauty, Personal Growth, Relationships, Service
Coping with Different Sex-Drives in a Relationship

Coping with Different Sex-Drives in a Relationship

It’s not pleasant, but it’s a reality that many relationships face, even when those relationships are kinky. It’s not the preference of one activity over another, but the desire for any activity at all; it’s the age old question: are you up for it? and the difference between your response and your partner’s. Having a [...]

3 comments Posted by kallista | Posted in: Play and Sex, Relationships
1950′s Kink: An Overview

1950′s Kink: An Overview

In 2014, a local kink community member contacted me to say she had heard about an author compiling essays regarding different styles of the M/s dynamic, suggesting I respond regarding our 1950′s relationship. I did, and what I discovered in the correspondence about the project was surprising. The author had told me that when setting out to [...]

2 comments Posted by Mrs. Darling | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Relationships
Book Review-Opening Up: A Guide To Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino

Book Review-Opening Up: A Guide To Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino

I’m currently in a poly relationship and have been in several poly relationships in the past. Despite the numerous poly relationships I have been in, Tristan Taormino’s Opening Up is the first non fiction book that I have read about polyamorous relationships. This book has been on my reading list for quite some time and [...]

Leave a comment Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Relationships, Reviews

Why Your Sexual Needs Matter in a D/s Relationship (or ANY Relationship)

From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 5/23/15 Far too often I hear stories of submissives who are unhappy in their relationship because their partners don’t care about their orgasms or listen to their sexual needs. Some Dominants go as far as saying that they should get enjoyment out of being used, told they are topping from [...]

Ask lunaKM – Feeling Like a Third Wheel in a Triad

Ask lunaKM – Feeling Like a Third Wheel in a Triad

Do you have any advice for someone in a triad that is constantly feeling like a third wheel because the other female sub puts constant emphasis on being “wife” and legally married to the male dominant of the relationship? Saying we are equal to him, but her actions and words don’t back it up causing [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships
via Flickr

How to Deal With the Question of Being Kinky and a Parent

Some of us live our D/s lives out in the open, letting family and friends know who and what we are – and dealing with any fallout from people who don’t understand the lifestyle. To you, I have much love and respect. I’m not there yet…and maybe I never will be. Others, like myself, keep [...]

5 comments Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Relationships
The Secrets to Writing a Successful BDSM Dating Profile

The Secrets to Writing a Successful BDSM Dating Profile

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 5/9/15 Using a dating site to find a partner that is interested in power exchange and BDSM is a difficult prospect. Many people abandon mainstream sites in hopes that kink social networks and other forums will provide them with a partner that is compatible and looking for the same kind [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Community, Newsletter Archive, Relationships
Stop Being So Hard on Yourself-The Importance of Accepting Who You Are

Stop Being So Hard on Yourself-The Importance of Accepting Who You Are

It’s no secret that I’m an avid reader by all the book reviews that I’ve done for the site. A few months ago, I picked up a copy of Dark Secret Love by Alison Tyler. If you’ve not heard of it, think of it as a modern-day Story of O. Even though this is a [...]

4 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Mindset, Relationships
Image by blyss

M/s and When Life Happens: Unexpected Happenings

Over the past few months, my life has been a whirlwind of obligations, setbacks, injuries, working with an aging parent, and apparently an abundance of emails… ‘Life happened’ all over my perfectly scheduled routine and pristinely managed emotions. In the vanilla world ‘life’ is expected to happen – meaning, we expect the unexpected because that’s [...]

2 comments Posted by charmed blyss | Posted in: Mindset, Personal Growth, Relationships, Service
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