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Relationships

Learn about relationship dynamics and joining two people into a D/s couple

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Mentorship Misunderstandings

Mentorship Misunderstandings

In the last month or so I have begun to seek a mentor and have been approached about being a mentor myself, a position which I accepted. As these events unfolded, I experienced a lot of flak from the online community – why would a submissive need a mentor if she already has a Dom? [...]

2 comments Posted by andyiccee | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Relationships
Ask lunaKM – Detailed Definitions to Save a Relationship

Ask lunaKM – Detailed Definitions to Save a Relationship

Dear lunaKM, I am married to my Dom and I live him with ask my heart and always to the best of my ability do what he asks of me. I introduced him to this lifestyle and have tried many times to explain the roles we both have that keeps us both wanting to be [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships
Interracial: Amor en blanco y negro by ElRaffa (Flickr.com)

M/s in Black and White

It’s not uncommon for a black person entering the Lifestyle to wonder, is it acceptable for me as a black woman (or man) to have or serve a white Master? The short answer to this question is – yeah! We all can pursue the dynamics that we desire with whom we desire. But there’s obviously [...]

11 comments Posted by charmed blyss | Posted in: Community, Mindset, Relationships
Identifying as Monogamous in a Poly Dynamic

Identifying as Monogamous in a Poly Dynamic

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 11/22/14 I’ve written a few times about the change in my personal relationship with KnyghtMare and I. He had play and relationship needs that I couldn’t meet and it was creating a rift between us. The only solution that we could see was to open up the relationship. It evolved [...]

Woven into BDSM relationships is love

Woven into BDSM relationships is love

February is the love month. In the stores, everything is red, pink, and white. There are roses, teddy bears, and chocolate everywhere you turn. Actually, here, everything has looked that way since before Christmas was even over. It is a wonderful thing to celebrate the love we have for one another. I do think that [...]

1 comment Posted by moonlight | Posted in: Relationships
Ask lunaKM – How To Ask for Attention

Ask lunaKM – How To Ask for Attention

Hello lunaKM, I have a Dom friend that has been helping explore and figure out this wonderful world of BDSM. I have been seeing him for a few months and we are moving into more of a relationship and not just scenes. My question is how do I ask him for the discipline/attention when I [...]

2 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships
Talking Even When Words Are Hard

Talking Even When Words Are Hard

Communication is key – I say it in every article, but it becomes no less true. Communication is imperative to any relationship, especially one in which your physical and mental health are at risk. This week I have had trouble. Master is very interested in entering into a poly-dynamic. While this initially sounded very attractive [...]

Leave a comment Posted by andyiccee | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Relationships
Finding Your Dominant

Finding Your Dominant

This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Are you looking for a magic spell? That unique formulae that will guarantee you the results you want? Well, there isn’t any trick. Not really… If you are looking for a lifetime partner, [...]

2 comments Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Relationships
After “Red” : How to Manage the Aftermath When You’ve Used Your Safeword

After “Red” : How to Manage the Aftermath When You’ve Used Your Safeword

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 11/1/14 Your safeword is your lifeline for play. It is a way to express you’ve reached a limit, whether that is a physical limit or an emotional one. The couples that play with safewords know that there is an often unspoken importance in only using it when it is necessary [...]

Book Review: 62Q: Sixty-Two Questions for Your Dominant by Michael Makai

Book Review: 62Q: Sixty-Two Questions for Your Dominant by Michael Makai

Thanks to lunaKM’s review of Michael Makai’s Domination and Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook, I’d been interested in reading one of his books. I became even more interested when I heard in a BDSM related Facebook group I’m in how many people had enjoyed reading his books. When he released his latest book 62Q and [...]

Leave a comment Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Relationships, Reviews
Ask lunaKM – Figure Out What to Expect From a Relationship Before Entering a Relationship

Ask lunaKM – Figure Out What to Expect From a Relationship Before Entering a Relationship

So, I am very new to this. I met Sir online and he asked me what do I expect from this relationship?  My question is how do I figure out exactly what it is that I expect.  I know I expect him to teach me everything,  to help me learn my limits.  Any help with [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships
How I Prepare for Master’s Visit

How I Prepare for Master’s Visit

For whatever reason it seems that many members of the BDSM community are in long-distance, or temporarily long-distance relationships with our dominants. In some of the online forums I am a part of I regularly see submissives and babygirls freaking out in the days before their dominant arrives for a visit – as I am [...]

Leave a comment Posted by andyiccee | Posted in: Relationships, Service
Picture by tequilarose

Stop Serving Yourself: An Inspirational Un-Collaring Ceremony

A few months ago, I came across writing on Kinky and Popular called “An Uncollaring Ceremony”. The title caught my eye so I clicked, and I am so happy I did because this writing resonated something inside of me and caused me to think of my submission. It made me think about walls that we, [...]

4 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Mindset, Relationships
How BDSM, SSC, and Feminism Work Together

How BDSM, SSC, and Feminism Work Together

I am an avid feminist. I believe in the equality of men and women in every way and I am not shy in voicing my opinion. I work for the campus women’s center promoting healthy relationships, anti-rape campaigns, and an awareness that the world is not as equal as many people like to pretend. I [...]

1 comment Posted by andyiccee | Posted in: Relationships, Safety
photo by Nattu (https://www.flickr.com/photos/nattu/) CC BY 2.0

How Far Should You Go On a First Date?

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 9/6/14 When I was a novice submissive I was single and searching for a Dominant to be my playmate, my partner and my lover. I explored all the places online that existed at the time, many that do not exist now or have been replaced by better sites. I was, in [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Play and Sex, Relationships
Ask lunaKM – What are you punished for?

Ask lunaKM – What are you punished for?

Ok, I know this sounds like a silly question but I wanted to know what other submissives out there are being punished for. I have been a sexual submissive for three years now and my Dom and I are slowly bringing our dynamic out of the bedroom. I have read a lot of articles about [...]

21 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships
Stress and Santa: Managing Stressful Situations Around the Holidays

Stress and Santa: Managing Stressful Situations Around the Holidays

The Holidays are coming, and they are coming up fast. I always feel like the entire month of November goes by in a blur. One moment we are donning our sexy cat costumes for Halloween and the next moment there are stockings on the mantle and children awaiting Santa. There is definitely a time warp [...]

Leave a comment Posted by andyiccee | Posted in: Community, Relationships
How to Keep a Cool Head When You Get Angry With Your Dominant

How to Keep a Cool Head When You Get Angry With Your Dominant

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 8/23/14 I know what you are thinking when reading the title. How can a submissive get mad at their Dominant? Isn’t a relationship built on trust and communication going to run smoother than one that isn’t? That’s not a very good submissive behavior! No, probably not, but it is a [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Mindset, Newsletter Archive, Relationships
Submission in Gratitude

Submission in Gratitude

Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada is a weekend for celebrating the good we have in our lives and sharing it with those who are close to us. There is so much to be thankful for and this year, as I look back, I see the amazing abundance that comes to us in various ways, but [...]

1 comment Posted by moonlight | Posted in: Mindset, Personal Growth, Relationships
Micromanagement and Macromanagement: What’s the Difference?

Micromanagement and Macromanagement: What’s the Difference?

Awhile ago, I was talking to a friend of mine and asked her if she had any good topic ideas because it’s good to have outside influences and she suggested micromanaging vs proactivity. I got super excited because, it’s an awesome topic. I figured it would be a rather easy topic to write about, but [...]

2 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: BDSM Glossary, Relationships
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