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Relationships

Learn about relationship dynamics and joining two people into a D/s couple

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Sample Master/slave contract – Basic

Sample Master/slave contract – Basic

This is our current contract, making adjustments from our other standard version that has served us so well over the years. Over time it became ingrained in us. I knew when to kneel, how he liked me dressed, what he expected to be called. We needed something lighter, less clunky. I have made available our [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Mrs. Darling | Posted in: Relationships

New to D/s Relationships? Here’s Your Foolproof Guide to Starting Out – Part 2

This is part two of the guide to starting D/s relationships. If you missed part 1, you may want to go and read that first. In the previous article, we talked about how a relationship develops in basic terms, why it’s important to identify the mechanics and what more you can expect from a D/s [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Relationships
Contracts as a Road Map to Ever-Evolving Dynamics

Contracts as a Road Map to Ever-Evolving Dynamics

The Mister and I signed on to live in a 24/7 Dominant and submissive dynamic pretty early on in our relationship. Like actually signed on to a physical line stating what we would or would not do in day to day living. I remember vividly drafting up a lengthy contract (about 6 or 7 pages) [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Mrs. Darling | Posted in: Relationships
New to D/s Relationships? Here’s Your Foolproof Guide to Starting Out – Part 1

New to D/s Relationships? Here’s Your Foolproof Guide to Starting Out – Part 1

Exploring the physical aspects of BDSM, such as flogging, spanking and bondage are a lot simpler in terms of finding information that will help you on your way but when you crave a D/s relationship the shared knowledge folds into personal stories and “you’ll learn as you go” sentiments. It’s just not an easy road [...]

4 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Relationships
How To Express Submissiveness as a Little

How To Express Submissiveness as a Little

Dear Submissive Guide, I am a little girl and have a wonderful Daddy Dom. How else can I show my submissiveness in a little girl way without falling into total servitude and then becoming more like a slave? Thank you,His Little Girl Dear LG, I think your question is one that crosses plenty of submissive’s [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships
Don’t Judge A Label By Its Cover: Dispelling Stereotypes of D/s Roles

Don’t Judge A Label By Its Cover: Dispelling Stereotypes of D/s Roles

I was recently chatting at a local BDSM coffee event with a just-made friend who made mention (as she was just meeting my husband and I for the first time) that it was quite surprising to learn that he is the Dominant one and I am the submissive one. We get this all the time, [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Mrs. Darling | Posted in: Relationships
Teased With No Relief: How to Address Orgasm Denial Because Dominant Gets Too Busy and Forgets

Teased With No Relief: How to Address Orgasm Denial Because Dominant Gets Too Busy and Forgets

Dear SG, My Dominant has a habit of teasing me without any following ‘relief’. He will get my motor running and then leave me all riled up. He gets busy with something else. Sometimes this teasing can go on for weeks, even months because of his busy lifestyle. How can I cope with the frustration?! [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships
An Open Letter to Everyone Who Wants to Know What a D/s Relationship is Supposed to Look Like

An Open Letter to Everyone Who Wants to Know What a D/s Relationship is Supposed to Look Like

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 10/29/16 A D/s (or M/s) relationship, for most of you reading this, you either have one or want one. For those of you who have never been in a D/s relationship before it comes as no shock that you want to know what it’s like and what to expect from [...]

3 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Relationships
Thinking About Financial Dependency in Your D/s Dynamic?

Thinking About Financial Dependency in Your D/s Dynamic?

Due to the traditional components of the Dominant/submissive dynamic, the topic of financial dependency seems to spring up in a lot of discussions. Is being financially dependent integral to being a 27/4 submissive? Does long term submission mean giving up your job? Is it healthy, or does it raise red flags? So forth, etc. Like [...]

Leave a comment Posted by kallista | Posted in: Relationships
Every Good Conversation Starts with Good Listening

Every Good Conversation Starts with Good Listening

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 9/24/16 “The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.” Submissive Guide was started not to just share what I know, it is also, at least for me, a way to continue to learn by talking out my struggles and answering the questions presented to [...]

3 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Relationships
How Do I Find a Dominant?

How Do I Find a Dominant?

Dear Submissive Guide, How do I find a Dom? I know I want to be a sub but I’m lost, I don’t know how to find a Dom and live the way I want to. Sincerely,Looking for a Dom  Hey there! You’ve asked a question that every single submissive asks themselves at some point: Where [...]

3 comments Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships
[Freebie] Behind Closed Doors: BDSM with Kids in the Home

[Freebie] Behind Closed Doors: BDSM with Kids in the Home

This month’s free report is a compilation of essays from Submissive Guide about parenting and BDSM, children in the home and navigating quiet play and so many other concerns about being parents and also in a D/s relationship. I hope you enjoy it. Download Now!

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Play and Sex, Relationships, Safety
Submitting While One of You is Sick

Submitting While One of You is Sick

Maintaining your role as a sub in the middle of a scene is pretty easy to do, but the conversion from situational submissive to full-time sub can present a number of fairly interesting challenges as you settle into your full-time role. One of the strangest full time submitting challenges that I’ve found is dealing with [...]

2 comments Posted by kallista | Posted in: Relationships
The Importance of Being Authentic

The Importance of Being Authentic

I haven’t really written much lately. It’s been a part lack of motivation and part lack of inspiration. I’ve had a few ideas, but nothing that really convinced me that I need to actually put down any words. But then the Universe hit me with a really big stick. A couple of months ago, I [...]

Leave a comment Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Mindset, Relationships
Image courtesy of Graphics Mouse at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

To Be or Not To Be – Poly, Mono, Mono-Poly Flexible

At some point in our community participation we will come face to face with the question of poly vs. monogamy. Even if it’s a fleeting thought of wondering if either is better for our personal relationships, we’re still confronted with the possibility. I think that even in examining the possibility it can force us to [...]

Leave a comment Posted by charmed blyss | Posted in: Relationships
Regaining Trust – He Cheated and I’m Not Over It Yet

Regaining Trust – He Cheated and I’m Not Over It Yet

Hello SG, I’m struggling with a problem that has been following me for quite some time now. My Dominant and I have been through hell and high water, involving ‘light’ cheating (sexting each other, meeting up, but did not have sex) while I was away on holiday with family. This was almost a year ago. [...]

2 comments Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships
BDSM and Kids: How Your Kink May Change Over the Years

BDSM and Kids: How Your Kink May Change Over the Years

Ask a new parent, kinky or not, about their sex life, and they’ll probably say, “What sex life?” When you’re only getting a couple hours of sleep at a time or feeding a baby around the clock, sex is usually the last thing on your mind. While D/s relationships tend to have more communication about [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Relationships
BDSM and Kids: When Kids Ask Awkward Questions

BDSM and Kids: When Kids Ask Awkward Questions

With kids, it’s inevitable that they’re going to ask questions that make you want to curl up into a ball, cover your ears, and sing, “La-la-la, I can’t hear you!” This isn’t a kink thing, it’s a parent thing. However, as a kinkster, there’s a chance that, eventually, they’ll see or hear something and ask [...]

1 comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Relationships
BDSM and Kids: Getting Kinky With Kids Around

BDSM and Kids: Getting Kinky With Kids Around

When someone asks me how it’s possible to be kinky when you have kids, I know they’re imagining that it must be difficult to have a scene, enjoy kinky sex, or do anything remotely kinky as a parent. It’s not impossible to get kinky, but it requires creativity and discipline. It also depends on how [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Relationships
BDSM and Kids: Handling the Role of Parent and Submissive

BDSM and Kids: Handling the Role of Parent and Submissive

As a submissive who has to interact with the outside world whether that’s work, family, or going to the grocery store, you already know that it can be hard to switch back and forth between roles and expectations. Frankly, after a long week of being my vanilla self, I’m exhausted, cranky, and usually feeling not-so-submissive. [...]

1 comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Relationships
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