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Relationships

Learn about relationship dynamics and joining two people into a D/s couple

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When Needs Change: How Communication Worked When My Partner Didn’t Want to Be Dominant Anymore

BDSM is all about mutual respect between dominant and submissive, master and slave. If there is a lack of respect in either direction things are likely to deteriorate quickly. Part of respect is understanding that your partner is entitled to their own needs, wants, and opinions and that these are aspects of your partner that [...]

1 comment Posted by andyiccee | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Relationships
24/7: Long Term Relationships

24/7: Long Term Relationships

This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Long Term Relationship. 24/7 simply means 24 hours a day – 7 days a week. Not so simply, it usually means the desire for lifetime commitment or a relationship with many or [...]

1 comment Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Relationships
Book Review: The Warrior Princess Submissive by Michael Makai

Book Review: The Warrior Princess Submissive by Michael Makai

I have been wanting to read Michael Makai’s The Warrior Princess Submissive for a while. This is one of those books where the title totally caught my interest. I found myself thinking “Well, I’m submissive, I am definitely a princess, and who doesn’t want to be a warrior?” Not only did the title catch my [...]

8 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Mindset, Relationships, Reviews
Photo by Lilith Starr

Finding Your Tribe-The Importance of the Kink Community

I sign up for a lot of emails. I get four to five daily recipes newsletters as well as several ebooks bargains of the day, daily quotes, and an occasional blog here and there. The other thing I sign up for is called The Daily OM. It’s a daily email newsletter with a message that [...]

5 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Relationships, Views & More...
When Play is No Longer Play

When Play is No Longer Play

There seems to be this very misguided idea that it is entirely acceptable for the dominant partner in a relationship to participate in aggressive play when they are angry, so long as it is referred to as a scene or as being kinky. I am going to tell you on no uncertain terms that if [...]

4 comments Posted by andyiccee | Posted in: Relationships, Safety
Rantz via photopin cc

Reciprocity: Expectations of Transparency of the Dominant

For those of you who are avid Red Phoneix fans, she’s at it again. She’s currently working on the third installment of the Brie series, Submissive in Love. While I was reading the second novella, Brie’s Denver Desires, a passage at the end of the book grabbed my attention and wouldn’t let go. “Sir, you’re [...]

3 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Relationships, Views & More...
https://www.flickr.com/photos/pinksherbet/4456978157

Fun Things from February’s Little Chat

At the beginning of February, I hosted an afternoon chats for littles here on Submissive Guide. If you missed it, don’t worry. It was the first of several other chats I plan on hosting. I had such a great time and so much fun, and I think everyone else who joined in did as well. [...]

Leave a comment Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Relationships
Q&A: Subbie Siblings

Q&A: Subbie Siblings

“Subbie Siblings – we either love or hate this phrase. While the lifestyle is unique to each of us, do we have things in common that set us aside from other women? Do we naturally form a close bond and a willingness to help, or are we just here selfishly to get what we can [...]

Leave a comment Posted by andyiccee | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Relationships
How Protocol Develops in D/s Relationships

How Protocol Develops in D/s Relationships

It’s often the case that protocol develops in D/s relationships that start out with a bit of structure to them, whether the relationship intended it or not. While there are some casual style relationships that have protocol, I haven’t seen a lot of it when a relaxed relationship is preferred. Now with that said, I [...]

2 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Relationships, Rituals and Routines
Book Review: Ageplay: From Diapers to Diplomas

Book Review: Ageplay: From Diapers to Diplomas

While I was doing research for my article about resources for littles, I stumbled across this book and noticed that it’s one of only a small handful of non-fiction books that I found written about the little dynamic. I had heard about it before in passing, but hadn’t given it much thought until I had [...]

Leave a comment Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Relationships, Views & More...
Love in the Lifestyle

Love in the Lifestyle

The topic of love in regards to Lifestyle relationships is usually a pretty hot topic. Everyone has an opinion, thought, rule, or feeling about it. After hearing so much about love, the newcomer may end up a bit confused. After all, in the vanilla world, especially in Western culture, love is a really big deal. [...]

1 comment Posted by charmed blyss | Posted in: Community, Mindset, Relationships, Service
Mentorship Misunderstandings

Mentorship Misunderstandings

In the last month or so I have begun to seek a mentor and have been approached about being a mentor myself, a position which I accepted. As these events unfolded, I experienced a lot of flak from the online community – why would a submissive need a mentor if she already has a Dom? [...]

2 comments Posted by andyiccee | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Relationships
Ask lunaKM – Detailed Definitions to Save a Relationship

Ask lunaKM – Detailed Definitions to Save a Relationship

Dear lunaKM, I am married to my Dom and I live him with ask my heart and always to the best of my ability do what he asks of me. I introduced him to this lifestyle and have tried many times to explain the roles we both have that keeps us both wanting to be [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships
Interracial: Amor en blanco y negro by ElRaffa (Flickr.com)

M/s in Black and White

It’s not uncommon for a black person entering the Lifestyle to wonder, is it acceptable for me as a black woman (or man) to have or serve a white Master? The short answer to this question is – yeah! We all can pursue the dynamics that we desire with whom we desire. But there’s obviously [...]

10 comments Posted by charmed blyss | Posted in: Community, Mindset, Relationships
Identifying as Monogamous in a Poly Dynamic

Identifying as Monogamous in a Poly Dynamic

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 11/22/14 I’ve written a few times about the change in my personal relationship with KnyghtMare and I. He had play and relationship needs that I couldn’t meet and it was creating a rift between us. The only solution that we could see was to open up the relationship. It evolved [...]

Woven into BDSM relationships is love

Woven into BDSM relationships is love

February is the love month. In the stores, everything is red, pink, and white. There are roses, teddy bears, and chocolate everywhere you turn. Actually, here, everything has looked that way since before Christmas was even over. It is a wonderful thing to celebrate the love we have for one another. I do think that [...]

1 comment Posted by moonlight | Posted in: Relationships
Ask lunaKM – How To Ask for Attention

Ask lunaKM – How To Ask for Attention

Hello lunaKM, I have a Dom friend that has been helping explore and figure out this wonderful world of BDSM. I have been seeing him for a few months and we are moving into more of a relationship and not just scenes. My question is how do I ask him for the discipline/attention when I [...]

2 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships
Talking Even When Words Are Hard

Talking Even When Words Are Hard

Communication is key – I say it in every article, but it becomes no less true. Communication is imperative to any relationship, especially one in which your physical and mental health are at risk. This week I have had trouble. Master is very interested in entering into a poly-dynamic. While this initially sounded very attractive [...]

Leave a comment Posted by andyiccee | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Relationships
Finding Your Dominant

Finding Your Dominant

This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Are you looking for a magic spell? That unique formulae that will guarantee you the results you want? Well, there isn’t any trick. Not really… If you are looking for a lifetime partner, [...]

2 comments Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Relationships
After “Red” : How to Manage the Aftermath When You’ve Used Your Safeword

After “Red” : How to Manage the Aftermath When You’ve Used Your Safeword

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 11/1/14 Your safeword is your lifeline for play. It is a way to express you’ve reached a limit, whether that is a physical limit or an emotional one. The couples that play with safewords know that there is an often unspoken importance in only using it when it is necessary [...]

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