BDSM Basics
Basic definitions and knowledge for novices entering BDSM
By lunaKM on March 26, 2010
from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 9-12-09 Throughout the process of learning about yourself and BDSM you hear talk of checklists. You can find yourself obsessing over what terms are in the complex checklist you found on www.onewaytodobdsm.com. I’ve even written about it several times on SubmissiveGuide.com. So What’s the Big Deal Anyway? For a novice [...]
Posted in BDSM Basics | Tagged basics, bdsm checklist, checklists, fetishes, negotiation, novice, play |
By nan {SL} on March 17, 2010
Has your Dom/me ever tied you in a position where if you move one way this part of your body gets stressed or pulled, and if you move another way, that part of your body gets tugged or pinched? If so, then you have experienced predicament bondage! Predicament bondage can be simple or complex and [...]
Posted in BDSM Basics | Tagged Bondage, comfort, opposing forces, painful situations, play, predicament bondage, Safety, scene, stress, stressors |
By lunaKM on February 19, 2010
Topping from the bottom has been given a bad wrap. It’s considered by many to be a faux paux for any submissive. Online communities shun and shame many people who even ask about the subject and want to know if what they did was considered wrong. Too many people tell these people that yes it [...]
Posted in BDSM Basics | Tagged body language, common sense, communication, experience, faux paux, negotiation, scene, topping from the bottom |
By Guest Author on January 18, 2010
This is a guest post for the BDSM Activity Feature Series. patricialynn offers us a look into rope bondage. Rope bondage is a wonderful thing. Nothing beats the feel of the rope sliding across my skin, teasing, tantalizing, with taunting promise of bondage to come. Under the hands of a skilled rope top, bondage can [...]
Posted in BDSM Basics | Tagged basics, bdsm play feature, bdsm series, Bondage, feature series, guest post, patricialynn, rope bondage |
By Guest Author on January 15, 2010
This is a guest post by dani. She is a new submissive in an Adult Nursing relationship.You can read about Erotic Lactation at Wikipedia or visit Land of Milk and Honey for more information. We didn’t start 2009 with any kind of BDSM activities in our lives, so we have quite the journey over the [...]
Posted in BDSM Basics | Tagged activities, adult nursing relationship, BDSM, bdsm activities, bdsm play feature, connection, cons, dani, erotic lactation, feature series, fetlife, guest post, information, journey, kinky, love, play, relationship, rt, sex, submissive, tall |
By Guest Author on January 11, 2010
This is another guest post for the BDSM Play Feature here on SubmissiveGuide. This post about Fire Play is by Gwendolyn. Enjoy! I have always been a fire bug and am a volunteer fire fighter. So when I became interested in BDSM and heard about fire play it was definitely top of my list of [...]
Posted in BDSM Basics | Tagged amazon.com, basics, BDSM, bdsm play, bdsm play feature, book, bottom, cons, danger, Dom, Domme, email, event, events, experience, feature series, fetlife, fire cupping, fire drumming, fire fleshing, fire flogging, fire play, fire whipping, focus, friends, friendships, guest post, Gwendolyn, health, information, learned, leather, love, m/s, online, opinion, pain tolerance, play, poly, questions, review, risk, rt, safe, Safety, scene, Service, single, slave, stress, submissive, support, toy, toys, trust, websites, writing |
By Guest Author on January 8, 2010
This is a guest post by bgtreasure for the BDSM Play Feature Series here on Submissive Guide. I choose this topic to write about because it is my favorite form of play and has been since I’ve found this wonderful thing we call “The Lifestyle”. The general definition of Impact Play that you will find [...]
Posted in BDSM Basics | Tagged BDSM, bdsm lifestyle, bdsm play, bdsm play feature, bgtreasure, connection, cons, edge play, event, experience, favorite, feature series, fetlife, fists, floggers, focus, guest post, hands, help, Impact, impact play, lifestyle, love, munch, normal, owned, paddles, play, positions, relationship, rt, series, share, spanking, stress, submissive, subspace, wants, whips |
By lunaKM on December 7, 2009
When Master and I get to play, it’s quite sexually charged. We find the play and the energy we swap as very sexual. Our play time usually ends in sex of some form. That’s just how we roll. Does it always have to be that way? Heck no! In fact, when I was casually playing, [...]
Posted in BDSM Basics, Sex and Sexuality | Tagged basics, BDSM, BDSM and sex, bdsm play, chat, decisions, discussion, Dom, dominant, energy, experience, intimacy, kinky, kinky side, negotiation, partners, play, play parties, relationship, rt, rules, scene, sex, sexual pleasure, standing, submissive, transcript, understanding |
By lunaKM on November 30, 2009
After the impressive response I got from the first list, I decided to make up another list. Besides, there are many many wonderful submissive blogs out there. Here’s more of the cream of the crop, so to speak. I’d love you to go to each of these websites, leave a comment and tell them Submissive [...]
Posted in BDSM Basics | Tagged bdsm blogs, Best Submissive Blogs, blogroll, blogs, control, discipline, Disciplined Feminist, little girl, love, submissive, submissive blogs, websites |
By lunaKM on September 23, 2009
Submission during play can be overwhelming. How do you understand what you might like? What about the buzz words of subspace and sub drop? One of Submissive Guide’s goals is to help novice submissives understand BDSM and their place in it. To help you begin your exploration I’ve put together a list of the posts [...]
Posted in BDSM Basics | Tagged aftercare, BDSM, bdsm checklist, bdsm play, checklist, comfort, cons, consensual, D/s, development, Dom, dominant, dominants, help, journey, novice, online, play, Playtime, questions, RACK, relationship, Relationships, risk, risk aware, rt, safe, safewords, sane, scene, share, single, SSC, sub drop, sub frenzy, sub space, submission, submissive, subspace, toy, toybag, trust |
By lunaKM on September 2, 2009
At the beginning of this blog I wrote about safewords. Just a reminder that a safeword is a signal that ends BDSM play and usually negotiated before play. It’s an excellent starting point but I left a part of it out. There will be occasions during BDSM play where you will be unable to speak. [...]
Posted in BDSM Basics | Tagged BDSM, bdsm play, bottom, clean, communication, daddy, gags, grace, m/s, newsletter, nonverbal clues, play, restraints, ritual, rt, safe, safe objects, safe words, safewords, scene, Service, sister, slave, stress, submissive, wants |
By lunaKM on September 1, 2009
If you have ever wondered how you can get the spanking you’ve always wanted but wasn’t sure how to ask for it, there is a book for you. I was just offered the chance to review a copy of How to Get the Spanking You Want: The Complete Guide to Asking for It, Getting It [...]
Posted in BDSM Basics, Views & More... | Tagged abuse, advice, Aria, blogs, book, books, bottom, caning, choice, clean, desires, discipline, Disciplined Feminist, Dom, e-book, emotions, experience, fear, focus, gender, gender roles, grace, help, history, learning, lifestyle, little girl, love, marks, real life, relationship, Resources, review, roles, rt, safe, series, share, size, spanking, spanking series, standing, tips, training, understanding, Variant Books, Vivian |
By lunaKM on August 14, 2009
A check in is where either partner provides clues as to their comfort, pain tolerance, pleasure level or other information during a scene or play session. Even the most experienced players continue to check in with their partners during play; it is a good practice to have. Whether you are playing with your partner or [...]
Posted in BDSM Basics, Playtime | Tagged body language, bottom, comfort, cons, Dom, dominant, emotional state, experience, implement, information, learning, negotiation, pain tolerance, partners, play, player, Playtime, questions, relationship, requests, rt, safe, scene, share, simple questions, submissive, subspace, tone of your voice, warnings |
By lunaKM on July 27, 2009
An important part of negotiating a scene is discussing what you want out of the scene. Sure there are a lot of really thorough BDSM checklists that you could fill out if you don’t want to really think about what turns you on and drives you crazy with pleasure. BDSM checklists all live under different [...]
Posted in BDSM Basics, Training Resume | Tagged abuse, activities, BDSM, bdsm activities, bdsm checklist, book, books, checklist, cons, desires, experience, health, help, information, kinky, limits, marks, needs, negotiation, online, permanent marks, play, player, resume, rt, safe, Safety, scene, sex, share, submission, training, Training Resume |
![The Meaning Of Collars [Poll Results]](http://www.submissiveguide.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/Comfort-Fit-Wedding-Ring-in-Platinum-1-150x150.jpg)
By lunaKM on July 2, 2009
Last week I asked you to tell me how important your collar is to you and the meaning of it in your relationship. The poll is now closed and the results are posted below. I got several comments and a few emails telling me that my poll was too vague and didn’t cover all the [...]
Posted in BDSM Basics | Tagged collars, cons, email, importance of collar, marriage, meaning of collar, poll, relationship, rt, surrender, symbolism |
By lunaKM on June 30, 2009
Places to buy a collar are numerous. Each relationship has a different idea of what the collar should look like. Listed below are a few of the many places you can go online to shop for that perfect collar. I’ve broken them up into types of collars the store offers. If they offer more than [...]
Posted in BDSM Basics, Playtime | Tagged BDSM, Bondage, collars, D/s, dreams, gags, Gor, leather, leather collars, metal collars, online, online stores, relationship, restraints, rt, rubber, shopping, slave, special collars, toy, types of collars, websites |
By lunaKM on June 29, 2009
This post is by Skylerpet. She’s written several other posts here for Submissive Guide. You can read more of her work on online submission and pet play here. BDSM and D/s. Some see it as the same, I seem them as two very different things. Here, I plan on explaining the how’s and why’s of [...]
Posted in BDSM Basics | Tagged 24/7, BDSM, Bondage, caning, chat, comparisons, cons, consensual, D/s, definitions, discipline, Dom, Dominance, dominant, dominants, email, guest post, information, kinky, lifestyle, Masochism, masochist, online, Online Submission, opinion, pet play, play, relationship, Relationships, rt, scene, Service, skylerpet, slave, slavery, spanking, standing, submission, submissive, websites, what is BDSM, what is D/s |
By lunaKM on June 19, 2009
When you first start talking to a potential Dominant you go through an initial interview. A lot of times this is just a period where basic questions are asked and your answers help the Dominant gauge just how interested you are in them, how compatible you are with them and what your intelligence level is. [...]
Posted in BDSM Basics | Tagged Dom, dominant, dominants, dress, experience, good interviews, help, history, interview, limits, preference, preferences, questions, relationship, resume, rt, rules, short, speech, standing, stress, submissive, tips, understanding, wants, what to wear, worship, writing |
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This month I'd like to feature Protocols: Handbook for the female slave by Robert Rubel PhD. A book on protocol in a D/s Leather Household.
My name is lunaKM and I’m a full-time submissive in a D/s relationship. I am webslut to 
