Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

BDSM Basics

You’ll learn a lot about how to explore BDSM from a novice viewpoint, Safety is emphasized here. This category is for the play aspects of kink – the rope bondage, spanking, pain play sensations that we tend to encompass in kinky sex.

BDSM Glossary View All

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What is Primal Play?

This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. Mr. Samsonite. Every group has one; you know, the guy who can’t show up to the play party without enough luggage to go on a two-week European tour? He [...]

9 comments Posted by slavekathy | Posted in: BDSM Glossary

What is a Scene?

This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. A very commonplace word in BDSM discussions is the word ‘scene’ but rarely do we define what that is with novices. Also, experienced people take for granted some of [...]

3 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Glossary

What are Red Flags?

This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. When discussing potential dating partners or relationships it is often a common question to ask if there are any red flags about the person that you feel or have [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Glossary

What is a Collar? What Does it Mean to be Collared?

This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. A common question with novices is what is being collared, what does it mean? Is it like a wedding ring or something more? Something different altogether? First, some basic [...]

18 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Glossary

What is Boot Blacking?

This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. One of the specialized talents that some submissives and slaves pick up is boot blacking. It holds its tradition in the leather community as an honorable service to a [...]

3 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Glossary

Other Articles View All

Personal Safety Mantra: Safe Sane and Consensual (SSC)

When a novice submissive first learns about BDSM or D/s power exchange it can be a scary place. The first thing I like to help these novices learn is about safety mantras, particularly the widely accepted Safe, Sane and Consensual or SSC. What is SSC? It’s a credo that people in the BDSM community use [...]

2 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Basics, Safety
New eBook “Your First Munch” is Launching in 2 Weeks!

New eBook “Your First Munch” is Launching in 2 Weeks!

If you’re like me, you were scared to walk into the building the first time where the local BDSM munch was happening. You weren’t sure you’d fit in, or that you might be asked to do something or talk about something you weren’t ready to do. Or perhaps you are so shy and confused that [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Basics
Finding a New Love – The Impact of Time on Your BDSM Checklist

Finding a New Love – The Impact of Time on Your BDSM Checklist

Falling in love is easy, so is falling out of love-especially when it is the love of a toy.  One of the assignments that I assign to the people I mentor involves this occurrence.   When I came into the lifestyle, I had two main loves-rope and floggers.  To me, there was nothing better than getting to [...]

4 comments Posted by LaneyDoll | Posted in: BDSM Basics, Personal Growth
Rule #1 – Don’t Touch Anything Without Permission

Rule #1 – Don’t Touch Anything Without Permission

I’ve been involved with local and regional BDSM groups since I first learned about BDSM in 2003. You get to meet a lot of people during events and some of them have quirks and perversions that you’ve never heard of. You’ll meet white collar, blue collar and poverty stricken people in the same room enjoying [...]

5 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Basics, Social Norms

What is Non-sexual Play?

This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. If somebody said to you that they only wanted to have non-sexual play, how would you interpret this? Does it mean no intercourse but oral is ok? Does it [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Glossary

Research Page: BDSM Checklists

As you may already know I spend a lot of time surfing the internet and reading about a lot of topics that pertain to BDSM and submission on a daily basis. One of the things I encounter almost everywhere I go are BDSM checklists. Interestingly enough it’s one of the more common requests on the [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Basics

What are Brats and Smart-Assed Masochists?

This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. brat: A “bratty” submissive has a reputation for talking back, being disrespectful or mildly disobedient. On the surface, this is a negative quality in a submissive; however, a certain amount of [...]

3 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Glossary
Dressing the Part – What to Wear at Community Functions

Dressing the Part – What to Wear at Community Functions

For new people and established ones alike, deciding what to wear to an event can be an adventure-in fun, in stress or in dread.  Admittedly, it is much easier for someone who has been to the dungeon, the event, the club to know what to wear upon a return visit.  But even someone who loves to get dressed to go [...]

Leave a comment Posted by LaneyDoll | Posted in: BDSM Basics, Play/Scene, Social Norms

What does “Checking In” During a Scene Mean?

This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. Using a check in during a scene is a responsibility of the Dominant to make sure things are going as they should. Often times this is a simple, “are [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Glossary

Acronyms, Abbreviations and Initialisms in BDSM Conversation

This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. Oftentimes instead of writing out the words we abbreviate or create acronyms or groups of initials to say the same thing. Here is a list of the more common [...]

6 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Glossary