Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

BDSM Basics

You’ll learn a lot about how to explore BDSM from a novice viewpoint, Safety is emphasized here. This category is for the play aspects of kink – the rope bondage, spanking, pain play sensations that we tend to encompass in kinky sex.

BDSM Glossary View All

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What is Primal Play?

This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. Mr. Samsonite. Every group has one; you know, the guy who can’t show up to the play party without enough luggage to go on a two-week European tour? He [...]

10 comments Posted by slavekathy | Posted in: BDSM Glossary

What is a Scene?

This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. A very commonplace word in BDSM discussions is the word ‘scene’ but rarely do we define what that is with novices. Also, experienced people take for granted some of [...]

3 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Glossary

What are Red Flags?

This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. When discussing potential dating partners or relationships it is often a common question to ask if there are any red flags about the person that you feel or have [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Glossary

What is a Collar? What Does it Mean to be Collared?

This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. A common question with novices is what is being collared, what does it mean? Is it like a wedding ring or something more? Something different altogether? First, some basic [...]

20 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Glossary

What is Boot Blacking?

This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. One of the specialized talents that some submissives and slaves pick up is boot blacking. It holds its tradition in the leather community as an honorable service to a [...]

3 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Glossary

Other Articles View All

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Your Kink is Not my Kink

The other day in a lifestyle group on Facebook, a member of the group posted a rant because she was tired of hearing about submissives and slaves being punished for stupid things, such as masturbating without permission. I was on the bus on my way home from shopping when I saw this and it upset [...]

6 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: BDSM Basics, Learn to Submit

Consent is Key: SSC and RACK

From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 4/19/14 The Birth of Safe, Sane and Consensual Historically, David Stein is the person who first coined the phrase in 1983 for the Gay Male SM Activists Group that he co-founded. It was then used as the slogan in the SM Rights contingent of the Gay Rights march to the [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Basics, Newsletter Archive
Ask lunaKM – My Dominant Breaks Down When Punishing Me

Ask lunaKM – My Dominant Breaks Down When Punishing Me

I’ve been with my Master for almost a year now 24/7. At first it was very gentle stuff; spanking, a slap here and there, rough sex, light bondage (Do to i am emotionally/physically weak). But over the last month or so it’s been escalating. He’s “Punishing” me now for even the smallest out of step [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, BDSM Basics
Ask lunaKM – Negative Feelings for Dominant After Sub Drop Ends

Ask lunaKM – Negative Feelings for Dominant After Sub Drop Ends

I have recently went through subdrop for the first time. It was frightening for me.  I’m usually pretty good at keeping my emotions together and I have a good head on my shoulders.  For the first time ever I felt completely out of control with my emotions.  I was scared.   My Dom was supportive [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, BDSM Basics
Video Review: Kink for Beginners

Video Review: Kink for Beginners

There are a lot of great resources out there to read online about the lifestyle, but some people tend to learn better visually and there’s not a lot options out there. Mistress Lilith Starr and her slave Uruk Black have fixed that. They have put together an amazing video, Kink for Beginners. Lilith and Uruk [...]

1 comment Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: BDSM Basics, Reviews
Everything That’s Wrong with Your Limits List – And How To Fix It

Everything That’s Wrong with Your Limits List – And How To Fix It

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 3/8/14 Limits are those boundaries that we set for ourselves because of physical, emotional, mental, social or psychological hesitations, morals or values we want to uphold and dislike for some things. For most submissives we put together a rudimentary limits list as soon as we know what BDSM is and [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Basics, Newsletter Archive
Humor and Submission:  Service with a Smile (and a laugh or two)

Humor and Submission:  Service with a Smile (and a laugh or two)

This is a guest post by Lazlo Toth. So much of what we do in this lifestyle has an aura of gravity and seriousness about it.  From the clothing and accouterments we choose to wear, to the names we give ourselves, to the things that we do in our relationships and our play.  Dominance and [...]

1 comment Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: BDSM Basics

Personal Safety Mantra: Safe Sane and Consensual (SSC)

When a novice submissive first learns about BDSM or D/s power exchange it can be a scary place. The first thing I like to help these novices learn is about safety mantras, particularly the widely accepted Safe, Sane and Consensual or SSC. What is SSC? It’s a credo that people in the BDSM community use [...]

2 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Basics, Stay Safe
New eBook “Your First Munch” is Launching in 2 Weeks!

New eBook “Your First Munch” is Launching in 2 Weeks!

If you’re like me, you were scared to walk into the building the first time where the local BDSM munch was happening. You weren’t sure you’d fit in, or that you might be asked to do something or talk about something you weren’t ready to do. Or perhaps you are so shy and confused that [...]

2 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Basics
Finding a New Love – The Impact of Time on Your BDSM Checklist

Finding a New Love – The Impact of Time on Your BDSM Checklist

Falling in love is easy, so is falling out of love-especially when it is the love of a toy.  One of the assignments that I assign to the people I mentor involves this occurrence.   When I came into the lifestyle, I had two main loves-rope and floggers.  To me, there was nothing better than getting to [...]

4 comments Posted by LaneyDoll | Posted in: BDSM Basics, Improve Yourself