Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

Mindset

Submissive all the time? Find, encourage and develop the triggers you need for your mindset to blossom.

Articles

Photo by David Goehring   https://www.flickr.com/photos/carbonnyc/4171211630/in/photostream/

Learn to Let Go of the Past

I love the movie Frozen. I love it so much, I can’t quite stress how much I love it. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I have watched this movie, but I can tell you it has been enough that Daddy can tune it out when I’m watching it for the [...]

2 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Learn to Submit, Mindset, Relationships
'Woman And Gun' by Pong, FreeDigitalPhotos.com

Back Off Bitches! Feeling Territorial and Jealousy as a Slave

There are probably two very sensitive and deeply moving confessions that a slave could make – admitting to being territorial and/or jealous. These demons are a complete terror and have visited many relationships since the beginning of time. In order to move about freely and enjoy the fruits of a healthy M/s relationship, they need [...]

23 comments Posted by charmed blyss | Posted in: Improve Yourself, Mindset, Relationships
That Anxious Space from the Petition to the Collar

That Anxious Space from the Petition to the Collar

In the post Single in the Scene Part IV: Petitioning, I address the matter of presenting a petition to a potential Master. However, I didn’t fully address that space between the time of presenting the petition and (hopefully) the collar, at least not at length. But, this can be one of the most trying times for [...]

Leave a comment Posted by charmed blyss | Posted in: Improve Yourself, Learn to Submit, Mindset, Relationships
Photography; George L Stein, Model; Lilly Rose

Am I Trying Hard Enough? Learning how to Make the Most of Your Inner Voice

“She was afraid, however that she hadn’t pleased him. She searched her mind for faults. She had obeyed all his commands, and he understood how difficult it was for her. He knew completely what it meant for her to be stripped naked and revealed to everyone, to be helpless and made public and that this [...]

Leave a comment Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Improve Yourself, Learn to Submit, Mindset
Note To Self: Selfish Pride Comes Before A Fall

Note To Self: Selfish Pride Comes Before A Fall

Pride, Merriam-Webster: : inordinate self-esteem :  conceit :  proud or disdainful behavior or treatment :  disdain :  ostentatious display Pride is a slippery emotion that I believe many a slave deal with, even if we don’t recognize it. I’m not talking about the feeling of elation and accomplishment after a job well done or when we’ve been recognized and [...]

2 comments Posted by charmed blyss | Posted in: Mindset, Social Norms
Single In the Scene Part VIII: Transformation Happens

Single In the Scene Part VIII: Transformation Happens

There’s going to come a point, I pray, that the single slave will be not so single and will be heading towards being owned. So for the last message in this series, I thought I’d talk about releasing the fear of transformation. There’s a song from the late 80′s “Don’t Make Me Over” by Sybil [...]

1 comment Posted by charmed blyss | Posted in: Mindset
Single in the Scene VII: The Unaccompanied slave

Single in the Scene VII: The Unaccompanied slave

During this past MsC (the Master/slave Conference) in September, there was a discussion about being an unowned slave at an event and the down side of such. And before then, I had participated in a discussion on FetLife – more of an open dialogue between the owned and the unowned about the tension between the [...]

Leave a comment Posted by charmed blyss | Posted in: Mindset, Social Norms
"Barbed Wire" Image courtesy of nuttakit at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Single In The Scene Part VI: Vulnerability

I’m of the opinion that there are many slaves who are unowned for one reason: fear of being vulnerable. The way relationships tend to flow in the vanilla world vulnerability isn’t a necessity to maintain the relationship. Usually most are not surrendering to their partners and both tend to rest assured that they are equals [...]

1 comment Posted by charmed blyss | Posted in: Improve Yourself, Learn to Submit, Mindset, Relationships, Service
Single in the Scene Part V: The Truth about Singlehood

Single in the Scene Part V: The Truth about Singlehood

This is kinda pithy, so please hang in there! In this series thus far, I’ve done my absolute best to keep it positive. Maybe in some ways, I’ve managed to gloss over the ‘truth of singlehood’ of a slave, which in a way slightly misses the mark of my desire which is to help those [...]

4 comments Posted by charmed blyss | Posted in: Improve Yourself, Learn to Submit, Mindset, Relationships
Single in the Scene Part IV: Petitioning

Single in the Scene Part IV: Petitioning

This series is written from the perspective that being single in the Lifestyle affords one the opportunity to do some soul-searching, learning, and defining in order to be better equipped to transition into a suitable and desirable relationship in due time. Read - Part I: Boundaries,  Part II: Service, Part III: Slave Resume. So, now that [...]

A Slave’s Longing – Not Quite Frenzy

A Slave’s Longing – Not Quite Frenzy

I was going to do another Single in the Scene post, had been kicking it around, but then last week, I felt something else. And this week because this ‘something’ else is back, I’ve decided to go with this… A slave’s longing. A longing is not a frenzy, though it’s quite possible that the feeling [...]

10 comments Posted by charmed blyss | Posted in: Mindset, Relationships
Is Your Heart Truly In It? – Fulfilling Submission Needs Desire

Is Your Heart Truly In It? – Fulfilling Submission Needs Desire

I’m going to take a bit of liberty in my assumption here, but bear with me for a moment. When you first learn about submission and what it might entail it is likely you are learning about bedroom submission and the pleasures of serving the sexual and sensual needs of your partner. Oftentimes these submissives [...]

27 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Mindset
Feeding His Dominance Is Not Topping From Below

Feeding His Dominance Is Not Topping From Below

When it comes to the idea of topping from the bottom, which I’ve covered several times on the site already, the most common idea that gets bantered about is if asking and requesting something is topping from the bottom. Oftentimes, with novice submissives, it is assumed that showing any sort of desire for something that [...]

7 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Mindset
BDSM To Cure Insomnia

BDSM To Cure Insomnia

Insomnia is a common condition. I have seen estimates that over half of all adults experience difficulties sleeping a few nights per week or more. I am not a doctor or expert on health issues but I have found something which helps me get to sleep at night: BDSM!  There are two ways I have [...]

10 comments Posted by ted_subby | Posted in: Mindset
A Doormat Submissive?

A Doormat Submissive?

A common derogatory word used in submissive circles is “doormat” as in, you don’t want to be a doormat submissive. Rarely is it talked about beyond saying that you should not let your Dominant walk all over you. I agree of course, but for the inexperienced, understanding what that really means can come after being [...]

6 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Mindset
Single in the Scene Part I: Boundaries

Single in the Scene Part I: Boundaries

Recently, I was contemplating the situation of being single in the Scene because of an email I received from someone concerning interacting with male dominants. Essentially, she responded to the sexual whims of the men she met online from the space of not having any boundaries set. Part of her inquiry to me was why [...]

Leave a comment Posted by charmed blyss | Posted in: Improve Yourself, Learn to Submit, Mindset

Overcoming Frustration and Anger

Frustration is a normal human response. It can get out of hand and escalate to anger if not handled well. As submissives we seem to deal with frustration more openly than others in the lifestyle. Let’s start with a definition from wikipedia about frustration. In psychology, frustration is a common emotional response to opposition. Related [...]

16 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Mindset
5 Ways to Reset Your “Feel Submissive” Button

5 Ways to Reset Your “Feel Submissive” Button

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 7-23-11 Submission – it’s hard work. For the 24/7 types it’s an all the time thing. So what happens if you wake up one day and you don’t feel like submitting? You could voice it as a break or get really cranky every time you are asked to perform your [...]

2 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Mindset, Newsletter Archive
3 Ways to Recover From a Fight and Return to Role Post-Argument

3 Ways to Recover From a Fight and Return to Role Post-Argument

In a previous article I talked about conflict resolution in a D/s relationship. This post will continue the discussion with how to return to role after the argument is over. So you’ve taken my advice from the previous article and stepped outside your roles in order to resolve a conflict you are having with your [...]

3 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Mindset
How an Outline Aligned My Submission and What You Can Learn From It

How an Outline Aligned My Submission and What You Can Learn From It

From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 5/28/11 The past month has been a busy month for me, as I prepared and delivered my first presentation at an event. Before this I had never given more than a planned speech in college, and this was a new and exciting experience for me. It didn’t come without it’s [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Learn to Submit, Mindset, Newsletter Archive
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