Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

Mindset

Submissive all the time? Find, encourage and develop the triggers you need for your mindset to blossom.

Articles

Altered Mental States

Altered Mental States

This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Venturing into the realms of Altered Mental States should be done carefully. The human mind is vulnerable to suggestion (as witnessed by the recent ‘cult’ suicides in LA). People often have an enormous [...]

4 comments Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Mindset, Play and Sex
Mama Vi Then and Now, right image courtesy of Mama Vi Johnson; left image courtesy of C. Creane Images; and edited by blyss

Aging in the Lifestyle: Doing it with Grace

When I first came to the community, I, as well as others like me, was a bit of a unicorn. During that time, it wasn’t the norm to see younger people in the community – younger as in under 36 or so. Most of the people I knew were 40+, and there I was in [...]

Dealing With Submissive Burnout

Dealing With Submissive Burnout

There are times where I don’t feel like being a slave. I look around the apartment and see what needs to be done, dishes, laundry, dinner prep, grocery shopping and I think to myself I really don’t wanna do any of it. Daddy will give me errands to run and even though I’m nodding my [...]

1 comment Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Mindset, Relationships
Strong and Submissive: Exploring the Phenomenon of Strong Female Submissives

Strong and Submissive: Exploring the Phenomenon of Strong Female Submissives

By Sensuous Sadie If I had a nickel for every submissive who hit on me, I could open my own dungeon. The real bummer about the whole thing is that I’m submissive myself. Oh sure, I top now and then, but when it comes down to it, my BDSM orientation is submissive. So, you ask, [...]

6 comments Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Mindset
Feeling Like a Failure as a Slave

Feeling Like a Failure as a Slave

Dinner time at our house is 6 PM. In my opinion, it’s like the perfect time. Not too early, gives Daddy and I a couple of hours to catch up on our TV shows or to watch a movie and afterwards gives us time to do our own thing before bed. I’m usually very good [...]

5 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Mindset, Personal Growth, Relationships
Image courtesy of jesadaphorn at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Busyness, Why Do We Think It Adds Value?

This isn’t one of my usual posts that have some sort of resolution in the conclusion because this is something I’m working through and this post is created at least in part as a portion of the out-working. With this in mind, I’m looking forward to your feedback in the comments! This is something that’s [...]

7 comments Posted by charmed blyss | Posted in: Mindset

How to Access Sub Space

This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. For the purposes of this article I will assume that the submissive is ‘new’ to the lifestyle and that the Dominant directing them has limited or no experience with this aspect of BDSM. [...]

2 comments Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Mindset, Play and Sex
Channeling Guilt

Channeling Guilt

An abusive childhood has made me incredibly prone to feeling guilty. Someone else can drop a glass and shatter it and I will twist the situation in my mind in such a way that I caused that to happen – it is my fault that the glass broke. I absorb that persons guilt as my [...]

12 comments Posted by andyiccee | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Mindset, Rituals and Routines
There’s No Size Limitation to Being Kinky

There’s No Size Limitation to Being Kinky

The other day, one of my friends on Facebook messaged me and asked me if she could ask me a question. Of course I told her yes and then she began to furiously type her question to me. After I read her situation, I asked her if I could reply later. I was in class [...]

12 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Mindset, Personal Growth
http://www.flickr.com/photos/kytiane/2324861733/sizes/z/in/photostream/

Being a Little Doesn’t Come with a Size or Age Limitation

The other day, my little sister gentlerayne, sent me a text message. She told me that I needed to check out this post in a Fetlife group. And boy, was she angry. Being angry isn’t her normal behavior. She’s very soft-spoken and a gentle soul. I knew whatever made her angry, was probably gonna irritate [...]

2 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Mindset
Image via Kozzi.com

Submission is a Choice That Will be Tested

The things that test us aren’t always outside forces. Sure, our friends, family, and partners will test us from time to time – whether they mean to or not. In my experience, though, the things that test us the most come from within… Whenever I introduce myself in the kink community, I refer to myself [...]

23 comments Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Mindset
Stop Being So Hard on Yourself-The Importance of Accepting Who You Are

Stop Being So Hard on Yourself-The Importance of Accepting Who You Are

It’s no secret that I’m an avid reader by all the book reviews that I’ve done for the site. A few months ago, I picked up a copy of Dark Secret Love by Alison Tyler. If you’ve not heard of it, think of it as a modern-day Story of O. Even though this is a [...]

4 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Mindset, Relationships
Image by blyss

M/s and When Life Happens: Unexpected Happenings

Over the past few months, my life has been a whirlwind of obligations, setbacks, injuries, working with an aging parent, and apparently an abundance of emails… ‘Life happened’ all over my perfectly scheduled routine and pristinely managed emotions. In the vanilla world ‘life’ is expected to happen – meaning, we expect the unexpected because that’s [...]

2 comments Posted by charmed blyss | Posted in: Mindset, Personal Growth, Relationships, Service
Always Getting in Trouble – Submissive Meditation Monday

Always Getting in Trouble – Submissive Meditation Monday

I’m devoting this Monday to meditation, reflection and devotion to submission. I hope to select topics that will get you thinking differently about some part of your life or submission and then just maybe grow a little bit further. If you have ideas for topics that might work for a Meditation Monday, please email me. “I am [...]

2 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Mindset
Love in the Lifestyle

Love in the Lifestyle

The topic of love in regards to Lifestyle relationships is usually a pretty hot topic. Everyone has an opinion, thought, rule, or feeling about it. After hearing so much about love, the newcomer may end up a bit confused. After all, in the vanilla world, especially in Western culture, love is a really big deal. [...]

3 comments Posted by charmed blyss | Posted in: Community, Mindset, Relationships, Service
Interracial: Amor en blanco y negro by ElRaffa (Flickr.com)

M/s in Black and White

It’s not uncommon for a black person entering the Lifestyle to wonder, is it acceptable for me as a black woman (or man) to have or serve a white Master? The short answer to this question is – yeah! We all can pursue the dynamics that we desire with whom we desire. But there’s obviously [...]

13 comments Posted by charmed blyss | Posted in: Community, Mindset, Relationships
How Giving a Blowjob Has Taught Me That Service and Pleasure Are One

How Giving a Blowjob Has Taught Me That Service and Pleasure Are One

I used to hate giving blow jobs. I am sure it could be argued that I still don’t love them, but the mind shift has certainly come a long way in the positive for KnyghtMare. My history with giving oral sex is one I’ve heard from a few of you. Your first experiences were not [...]

19 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Mindset, Sex and Sexuality
Picture by tequilarose

Stop Serving Yourself: An Inspirational Un-Collaring Ceremony

A few months ago, I came across writing on Kinky and Popular called “An Uncollaring Ceremony”. The title caught my eye so I clicked, and I am so happy I did because this writing resonated something inside of me and caused me to think of my submission. It made me think about walls that we, [...]

4 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Mindset, Relationships
http://www.flickr.com/photos/kytiane/2324861733/sizes/z/in/photostream/

What an Alpha BabyGirl Is to Me

The more I research BDSM the more I feel at home in the community – I realize that aspects of myself that I always thought were weird and unacceptable are permissive and actually quite normal here. The more I research the more I realize that I epitomize some of these roles without trying. When I [...]

8 comments Posted by andyiccee | Posted in: BDSM Glossary, Mindset
By tequilarose

Little Does Not Equal Irresponsible

The other night after dinner, I curled up on the couch watching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (yes, again. There’s a lot of My Little Pony in this household thanks to yours truly), and the particular episode I was watching really hit home for me. In this episode, Mr. Carrot Cake and his wife, [...]

8 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Mindset, Views & More...
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