Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

Beginner Basics

This topic is great for those newer to submission and those looking to learn about submission from a general point of view.

Male Submission View All

Ask the Readers – Where Do Male Submissives Go For Information?

Hi readers! Every so often I have a question from someone that deserves different viewpoints and so I’m sharing it with you. Please give your advice to this submissive and be kind.  Being male in a field of females is awkward.  Where do hetro-male subs go for info??? My answer would be that much of what is pointed to female submissives works for male submissives also, just change the pronouns. But are there specific websites, forums or discussion groups that cater to male submissives who [...]

7, December | 4 comments

Book Review: Slave-ography by Slave Patrick

Awhile ago, I had a couple of male s-types contact me and I replied to one of their comments saying something along the lines how I wish there was a book for the male s-types like there are for female submissives. There are tons of books and blogs, and whatever else out there geared towards female [...]

1, December | Leave a comment

Male submission – Financial Domination

Financial Domination is an area of BDSM which often elicits strong opinions. With other BDSM activities such as spanking and bondage, at some point after the Safe, Sane, and Consensual scene is over there is no damage done and things are typically physically back to the way they were. However, if a sub’s money is [...]

23, July | 14 comments

Mindset View All

Busyness, Why Do We Think It Adds Value?

This isn’t one of my usual posts that have some sort of resolution in the conclusion because this is something I’m working through and this post is created at least in part as a portion of the out-working. With this in mind, I’m looking forward to your feedback in the comments! This is something that’s [...]

21, January | 7 comments

How to Access Sub Space

This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. For the purposes of this article I will assume that the submissive is ‘new’ to the lifestyle and that the Dominant directing them has limited or no experience with this aspect of BDSM. [...]

15, January | 2 comments

Channeling Guilt

An abusive childhood has made me incredibly prone to feeling guilty. Someone else can drop a glass and shatter it and I will twist the situation in my mind in such a way that I caused that to happen – it is my fault that the glass broke. I absorb that persons guilt as my [...]

13, November | 11 comments

Online Submission View All

Cyber Realities

This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. In many ways this seems like a contradiction in terms. However, it cannot be overlooked that the advent of the Internet has opened the access into the BDSM community in ways completely incomprehensible [...]

1, May | 1 comment

Ask lunaKM – Is he Ignoring me or has he moved on?

Dear LunaKMI am a novice sub who found her  first Master about a 5 weeks ago.  We live about 200 miles apart and have mainly instant messaged, telephoned and skyped.  About 3 weeks ago we met for the first time and it was wonderful.  He asked for my submission about a week into the relationship [...]

11, August | 1 comment

Being a Little in a Long Distance Relationship

The other day I got an email from a reader who had a question about being in a long distance relationship with his little and wanting to know some ideas on how to make that work. Like usual when I get a question from a reader, I got super excited(because I do love hearing from [...]

29, July | 11 comments

Other Articles View All

Recognizing Sub Rebound (Sub Drop)

Recognizing Sub Rebound (Sub Drop)

This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Submissive Rebound is a reaction that occurs in most submissives at some point in their relationship with a Dominant. It manifests in feelings of depression, heightened anxiety and a sensation of ‘distance’ between [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Picture by tequilarose

Learning Your Way Around the Kitchen-Copycat Ikea Meatballs

When I lived in the US, I heard of this magical store, Ikea. Not only did it have all kinds of home furnishings and accessories, but it also had a restaurant where you could eat Swedish meatballs. Unfortunately, I didn’t live anywhere near a store, so I never got the chance to visit one. Fast [...]

Leave a comment Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Domestics, Personal Growth, Service
Reacting to Change in D/s Dynamics

Reacting to Change in D/s Dynamics

I just don’t feel very dedicated to being submissive. I uttered the admittance with a growing sense of disappointment in myself. I want to, but I just don’t feel it It was during the Easter holiday, over Skype chat. My Dom was at work, and I knew it was unfair to tell her at that [...]

2 comments Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Book Review: Spanking for Lovers by Janet Hardy

Book Review: Spanking for Lovers by Janet Hardy

A couple of weeks on Facebook, Janet Hardy (co-author of several amazing books including The Ethical Slut and The New Bottoming Book), asked for people who are interested in reviewing her new book, Spanking for Lovers and I had a total fangirl moment. I swear, if it had been in person, I would have been [...]

2 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Reviews
How Often Have You Said: “I Don’t Know What’s Expected of Me, But I’d Like To”?

How Often Have You Said: “I Don’t Know What’s Expected of Me, But I’d Like To”?

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 8/29/15 What ARE you expected to do and know as a submissive? Well, for many who are just starting out, the answer really is not much. But that’s not the kind of answer you accept out of me, right? There’s more to it, isn’t there? Of course there always is, [...]

Ask lunaKM – Where Can I Go to Talk to Someone about Submission?

Ask lunaKM – Where Can I Go to Talk to Someone about Submission?

Is there any service out there that you can talk to a live person and go through some things that are fairly new to me in real time like right now… not necessarily the paid chat but just someone to ask questions and see if what I’m doing is normal…well somewhat normal. Hi there! I [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Beginner Basics
The Training Collar

The Training Collar

This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. The Training Collar represents the second collar exchanged between a Dominant and a submissive. For information regarding the first collar please refer to my article called the Collar of Consideration. The ‘Training’ collar [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Ethical BDSM Falls on Both Sides of the Slash

Ethical BDSM Falls on Both Sides of the Slash

A few months ago, there was a thread started on Fetlife about ethical BDSM and it really caught my attention so I had to check it out. At this time there were only a handful of comments and every one of these comments had said something pertaining to the dominant being responsible for the relationship [...]

2 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Relationships, Views & More...
How to Tell When That Online Training Dom is a Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing

How to Tell When That Online Training Dom is a Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 12-05-15 Online submission was and still is a very popular choice for many people, especially the novice submissive and the curious outsider. But it also attracts the not so honest people, the predators and those looking for the weak and vulnerable for their own selfish needs. And that’s why, if [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Newsletter Archive
Why SSC and RACK Are Both Important Safety Acronyms to Know

Why SSC and RACK Are Both Important Safety Acronyms to Know

One of the biggest challenges that we face in the kinky community is the acceptance of kinks which do not align with our own. A group of individuals can bond over a shared desire to bend over someone over their knees and give him a good spanking, but introduce into that group an individual who [...]

1 comment Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics