Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

Beginner Basics

This topic is great for those newer to submission and those looking to learn about submission from a general point of view.

Male Submission View All

Male submission – Financial Domination

Financial Domination is an area of BDSM which often elicits strong opinions. With other BDSM activities such as spanking and bondage, at some point after the Safe, Sane, and Consensual scene is over there is no damage done and things are typically physically back to the way they were. However, if a sub’s money is [...]

23, July | 12 comments

Male Submission – Selfishness

The title of this article may seem self-contradictory but submission means different things to different people and also almost all human beings are selfish to at least some degree at some point in our lives. Many submissives gain pleasure directly from the pleasure of their dominant and they are clearly not the target of this [...]

21, May | 12 comments

Male Submission – Foot Fetish

In this part 3 of my series of articles about Male Submission on The Submissive Guide, I discuss the role of a foot fetish. There are a whole lot of guys who have a fetish for feet, and while there are women who also have a foot fetish it is by far more prevalent with [...]

23, April | 11 comments

Mindset View All

Submission is a Choice That Will be Tested

The things that test us aren’t always outside forces. Sure, our friends, family, and partners will test us from time to time – whether they mean to or not. In my experience, though, the things that test us the most come from within… Whenever I introduce myself in the kink community, I refer to myself [...]

25, August | 1 comment

Stop Being So Hard on Yourself-The Importance of Accepting Who You Are

It’s no secret that I’m an avid reader by all the book reviews that I’ve done for the site. A few months ago, I picked up a copy of Dark Secret Love by Alison Tyler. If you’ve not heard of it, think of it as a modern-day Story of O. Even though this is a [...]

4, August | 1 comment

M/s and When Life Happens: Unexpected Happenings

Over the past few months, my life has been a whirlwind of obligations, setbacks, injuries, working with an aging parent, and apparently an abundance of emails… ‘Life happened’ all over my perfectly scheduled routine and pristinely managed emotions. In the vanilla world ‘life’ is expected to happen – meaning, we expect the unexpected because that’s [...]

31, July | 2 comments

Online Submission View All

Cyber Realities

This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. In many ways this seems like a contradiction in terms. However, it cannot be overlooked that the advent of the Internet has opened the access into the BDSM community in ways completely incomprehensible [...]

1, May | 1 comment

Ask lunaKM – Is he Ignoring me or has he moved on?

Dear LunaKMI am a novice sub who found her  first Master about a 5 weeks ago.  We live about 200 miles apart and have mainly instant messaged, telephoned and skyped.  About 3 weeks ago we met for the first time and it was wonderful.  He asked for my submission about a week into the relationship [...]

11, August | 1 comment

Being a Little in a Long Distance Relationship

The other day I got an email from a reader who had a question about being in a long distance relationship with his little and wanting to know some ideas on how to make that work. Like usual when I get a question from a reader, I got super excited(because I do love hearing from [...]

29, July | 9 comments

Other Articles View All

Getting Back Into The Game: Returning to Kink After a Break

Getting Back Into The Game: Returning to Kink After a Break

Getting back into BDSM is harder than getting into it in the first place. This sounds counterintuitive – you know the safewords and one another’s fetishes, you’ve done your research, you just took a little break. Turns out that little break for a few months actually has a major impact on your kink relationship. For [...]

1 comment Posted by andyiccee | Posted in: Beginner Basics
1950′s Kink: An Overview

1950′s Kink: An Overview

In 2014, a local kink community member contacted me to say she had heard about an author compiling essays regarding different styles of the M/s dynamic, suggesting I respond regarding our 1950′s relationship. I did, and what I discovered in the correspondence about the project was surprising. The author had told me that when setting out to [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Mrs. Darling | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Relationships
The Need for Speed – The Desperation of Some Dominants

The Need for Speed – The Desperation of Some Dominants

This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. “I am looking for a NEW SUBMISSIVE to collar as my slave.” Why? This comment is perhaps one of the more common statements made by Male Dominant names in Internet chat rooms. It [...]

2 comments Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Embracing Your Label – Submissive Meditation Monday

Embracing Your Label – Submissive Meditation Monday

I’m devoting this Monday to meditation, reflection and devotion to submission. I hope to select topics that will get you thinking differently about some part of your life or submission and then just maybe grow a little bit further. If you have ideas for topics that might work for a Meditation Monday, please email me. When I started [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics
How Searching for a Compatible Partner is Like Apartment Hunting

How Searching for a Compatible Partner is Like Apartment Hunting

My partner and I just went through the strenuous process of apartment hunting and I realized along the way, that there are many similarities between apartment hunting and hunting for a compatible partner. These similarities are applicable both in vanilla and kinky relationships, but I believe, they are more pronounced in kink. When you begin [...]

2 comments Posted by andyiccee | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Ask lunaKM – When My Dominant Calls Me Names, Does He Mean It?

Ask lunaKM – When My Dominant Calls Me Names, Does He Mean It?

When my dominant calls me slut, whore etc. Does he really mean it?  I’m new to this and I have a hard time knowing whether or not he means this. Master and I are very young and he’s the only guy I’ve ever gone very far sexually with. I’m a good girl  and  none of [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Beginner Basics
When Kinky isn’t Sexy

When Kinky isn’t Sexy

A common misunderstanding that people who are new to the scene seem to have is that kink and sex are indistinguishable from each other: if something kinky ensues, something sexy is sure to follow. The reality is, however, that the two can, and sometimes should, be separated. This is especially true if the participants in [...]

3 comments Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics
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Finding Your Submissive Voice: Speak Up for Better, Honest Communication

Almost every submissive or slave I speak with questions their “voice.” How much to say to their Dominant? When to say it? Can they say anything?  What if s/he thinks I’m rude? Would it be better to not say anything? What is appropriate? Can I still have a voice? Speaking up vs. speaking out Speaking up: [...]

2 comments Posted by Mrs. Darling | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Ask lunaKM- How to Ask for More Aftercare

Ask lunaKM- How to Ask for More Aftercare

I have experienced sub drop for the first time. I’ve felt down after play but never like this. My dom and I met on Fetlife, and I am his second sub- the other is his best friend.  We all get on really well, and he is super attentive, but I still worry about being an [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Beginner Basics, Safety
Safewords During Disciplinary Punishment: Yay or Nay?

Safewords During Disciplinary Punishment: Yay or Nay?

Recently I was in a discussion about safewords, but it wasn’t the usual definitions and whether they are truly useful so I thought I’d work though my thoughts on it here and share it with you. The question that was presented was whether safewords should be allowed during punishment and if they weren’t was that [...]

8 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Safety

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