Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

Beginner Basics

This topic is great for those newer to submission and those looking to learn about submission from a general point of view.

Male Submission View All

Ask the Readers – Where Do Male Submissives Go For Information?

Hi readers! Every so often I have a question from someone that deserves different viewpoints and so I’m sharing it with you. Please give your advice to this submissive and be kind.  Being male in a field of females is awkward.  Where do hetro-male subs go for info??? My answer would be that much of what is pointed to female submissives works for male submissives also, just change the pronouns. But are there specific websites, forums or discussion groups that cater to male submissives who [...]

7, December | 5 comments

Book Review: Slave-ography by Slave Patrick

Awhile ago, I had a couple of male s-types contact me and I replied to one of their comments saying something along the lines how I wish there was a book for the male s-types like there are for female submissives. There are tons of books and blogs, and whatever else out there geared towards female [...]

1, December | Leave a comment

Male submission – Financial Domination

Financial Domination is an area of BDSM which often elicits strong opinions. With other BDSM activities such as spanking and bondage, at some point after the Safe, Sane, and Consensual scene is over there is no damage done and things are typically physically back to the way they were. However, if a sub’s money is [...]

23, July | 24 comments

Mindset View All

The Importance of Being Authentic

I haven’t really written much lately. It’s been a part lack of motivation and part lack of inspiration. I’ve had a few ideas, but nothing that really convinced me that I need to actually put down any words. But then the Universe hit me with a really big stick. A couple of months ago, I [...]

29, November | Leave a comment

Altered Mental States

This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Venturing into the realms of Altered Mental States should be done carefully. The human mind is vulnerable to suggestion (as witnessed by the recent ‘cult’ suicides in LA). People often have an enormous [...]

9, September | 4 comments

Aging in the Lifestyle: Doing it with Grace

When I first came to the community, I, as well as others like me, was a bit of a unicorn. During that time, it wasn’t the norm to see younger people in the community – younger as in under 36 or so. Most of the people I knew were 40+, and there I was in [...]

1, July | 4 comments

Online Submission View All

Cyber Realities: Online and Long Distance Relationship Thoughts

This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. In many ways this seems like a contradiction in terms. However, it cannot be overlooked that the advent of the Internet has opened the access into the BDSM community in ways completely incomprehensible [...]

1, May | 1 comment

Ask lunaKM – Is he Ignoring me or has he moved on?

Dear LunaKMI am a novice sub who found her  first Master about a 5 weeks ago.  We live about 200 miles apart and have mainly instant messaged, telephoned and skyped.  About 3 weeks ago we met for the first time and it was wonderful.  He asked for my submission about a week into the relationship [...]

11, August | 1 comment

What It Is Like Being a Little in a Long Distance Relationship

The other day I got an email from a reader who had a question about being in a long distance relationship with his little and wanting to know some ideas on how to make that work. Like usual when I get a question from a reader, I got super excited(because I do love hearing from [...]

29, July | 11 comments

Other Articles View All

Sample Dominant/submissive Contract

Sample Dominant/submissive Contract

This written contract is an excerpt from Darling Discovered:A True Story of Submission. This is my recounting of the year my husband and I began exploring Power Exchange both inside and outside of the bedroom. Feel free to use this contract as a template for what will or will not work for your relationship. I [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Mrs. Darling | Posted in: Beginner Basics
BDSM How To: Wax Play

BDSM How To: Wax Play

I love wax play. It’s so much fun and something that is simple to do and also not extremely expensive, which is awesome because we all know how expensive toys can be. So, it’s always great to find a fun activity that isn’t expensive. Not only that, but the more colorful candles you use, it [...]

Scenes for Beginners: Ideas You Can Use To Start Exploring Bondage and BDSM Play in the Bedroom

Coming up with ideas on what to do with your partner when it comes to roleplay and kinky sex can be hard as a beginner. How do you set up a scene? What do you do? Let me help you out with some great ideas for play when you are new to BDSM and kinky [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Play and Sex

How to Turn BDSM Fantasy Into Reality – Taking What You’ve Read or Seen Into Your Bedroom

It’s no secret that 50 Shades of Gray is a huge media success. It’s brought about fame for the author and attracted many people to the theaters to see the film adaptation. But it has also brought curious people to this site and many like it for answers and exploration. Many people first get introduced [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Play and Sex
A Lesson on The Importance of Online Safety from Kitty Thomas’ “Tender Mercies”

A Lesson on The Importance of Online Safety from Kitty Thomas’ “Tender Mercies”

In my continuous effort to read the books that have been in the bottom of my Kindle, I came across Kitty Thomas’ Tender Mercies. It wasn’t until I finished it and was writing a review that I realized what a great lesson this piece of fiction can teach those in the lifestyle, especially those that [...]

Leave a comment Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Safety
Exposed! 5 Myths of BDSM You Should Know

Exposed! 5 Myths of BDSM You Should Know

This is a guest post by Rachel M. For novice level masochists at play, who are curious about BDSM, make sure to get all your facts straight. So, before you go full-throttle, humiliating and whipping your partner, collect everything there’s to know first—and don’t rely on what you see in the media. Are you ready [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Beginner Basics
How Do I Let Him Know I’m Committed to Him?

How Do I Let Him Know I’m Committed to Him?

Dear Submissive Guide, I am finally at ease with my Daddy Dom, ready to move on in our relationship, giving him my trust which has been hard for me, because of past abuses. Even thinking of myself as ‘little” for him was hard at first. But I so enjoy the simple nature of the relationship. [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything, Beginner Basics
Create SMART Goals For Your New Year’s Resolutions and Reach Your Goals This Year!

Create SMART Goals For Your New Year’s Resolutions and Reach Your Goals This Year!

The end of the year looms, and in these darkest of days, all our flaws, our struggles, and our short comings seem to shine brighter for the lack of light. And so our journeys to create new and better versions of ourselves commence. We’ll go to the gym every day. We’ll eat right. We’ll stop [...]

1 comment Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Must I Always Wait for My Dominant to Tell me What to Do?

Must I Always Wait for My Dominant to Tell me What to Do?

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 9-10-16 The topic for this article came to me from a reader survey I did over a year ago where I asked you what was most pressing to your at that moment and this question, “must I always wait for my Dom to tell me what to do?” came up. [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Newsletter Archive
What Should I Try Next: Like Wax Play? Try Knives!

What Should I Try Next: Like Wax Play? Try Knives!

This is a six part series all about experiencing play from the right side of the slash. It is intended to be a helpful guide for you to push yourself further in your play, to experience new things, to open your mind and body to new sensations. I want to briefly mention safety in the [...]

1 comment Posted by Mrs. Darling | Posted in: Beginner Basics

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