Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

Learn to Submit

Help define who you are and your submissive goals

Male Submission View All

Male submission – Financial Domination

Financial Domination is an area of BDSM which often elicits strong opinions. With other BDSM activities such as spanking and bondage, at some point after the Safe, Sane, and Consensual scene is over there is no damage done and things are typically physically back to the way they were. However, if a sub’s money is [...]

23, July | 8 comments

Male Submission – Selfishness

The title of this article may seem self-contradictory but submission means different things to different people and also almost all human beings are selfish to at least some degree at some point in our lives. Many submissives gain pleasure directly from the pleasure of their dominant and they are clearly not the target of this [...]

21, May | 11 comments

Male Submission – Foot Fetish

In this part 3 of my series of articles about Male Submission on The Submissive Guide, I discuss the role of a foot fetish. There are a whole lot of guys who have a fetish for feet, and while there are women who also have a foot fetish it is by far more prevalent with [...]

23, April | 11 comments

Mindset View All

Learn to Let Go of the Past

I love the movie Frozen. I love it so much, I can’t quite stress how much I love it. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I have watched this movie, but I can tell you it has been enough that Daddy can tune it out when I’m watching it for the [...]

24, June | 3 comments

Back Off Bitches! Feeling Territorial and Jealousy as a Slave

There are probably two very sensitive and deeply moving confessions that a slave could make – admitting to being territorial and/or jealous. These demons are a complete terror and have visited many relationships since the beginning of time. In order to move about freely and enjoy the fruits of a healthy M/s relationship, they need [...]

3, June | 23 comments

That Anxious Space from the Petition to the Collar

In the post Single in the Scene Part IV: Petitioning, I address the matter of presenting a petition to a potential Master. However, I didn’t fully address that space between the time of presenting the petition and (hopefully) the collar, at least not at length. But, this can be one of the most trying times for [...]

20, May | Leave a comment

Online Submission View All

Ask lunaKM – Is he Ignoring me or has he moved on?

Dear LunaKMI am a novice sub who found her  first Master about a 5 weeks ago.  We live about 200 miles apart and have mainly instant messaged, telephoned and skyped.  About 3 weeks ago we met for the first time and it was wonderful.  He asked for my submission about a week into the relationship [...]

11, August | Leave a comment

Being a Little in a Long Distance Relationship

The other day I got an email from a reader who had a question about being in a long distance relationship with his little and wanting to know some ideas on how to make that work. Like usual when I get a question from a reader, I got super excited(because I do love hearing from [...]

29, July | 2 comments

Playing and Punishment from a Distance

If you’ve wondered whether you can enjoy kinky playtime with your Dominant in a long distance relationship (LDR), wonder no more! I am here to tell you that it’s entirely possible—and very enjoyable. While we were separated by a few thousand miles, I was very fortunate that my Dom was only one time zone ahead [...]

1, July | Leave a comment

Other Articles View All

Using Your Safeword Is Not a Sign of Failure

Using Your Safeword Is Not a Sign of Failure

When learning about personal safety and BDSM you likely hear the word safeword more than once. A safeword is used as a last resort when you need the play you are engaged in to end. But there’s an unintentional negative stigma surrounding using your safeword that needs to be understood. You are not a failure [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Learn to Submit
My Submission Isn’t Better Than Yours

My Submission Isn’t Better Than Yours

Several years ago on Fetlife, I read something that made Kinky and Popular. I hate that I can’t remember who wrote this, but for sure I remember the writing. I remember the writing because I think like every submissive and slave, I’ve had this issue before and still do from time to time. The title [...]

Leave a comment Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Learn to Submit, Relationships
It’s Okay to be New

It’s Okay to be New

From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 5/3/14 Oftentimes, the first lines of an email to me or an opening thread in a discussion group go something like this; “I’m new and am nervous to ask these silly questions so be nice to me.” “I’m really embarrassed to ask since I’m so new, but…” “I’m new to [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Learn to Submit, Newsletter Archive
https://www.flickr.com/photos/dlytle/7340186858

Your Kink is Not my Kink

The other day in a lifestyle group on Facebook, a member of the group posted a rant because she was tired of hearing about submissives and slaves being punished for stupid things, such as masturbating without permission. I was on the bus on my way home from shopping when I saw this and it upset [...]

6 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: BDSM Basics, Learn to Submit
Ask lunaKM – A Disconnect with Submission

Ask lunaKM – A Disconnect with Submission

Dear lunaKM, I’ve been with Master for almost 9 months, and although I love our relationship I feel like there is a disconnect with my submission. I know it’s a weird way to phrase it but I don’t know how else to put it. I have generally loved being Master’s “Good Girl” But recently I’ve [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Learn to Submit
Ask lunaKM – Can I make it in this lifestyle?

Ask lunaKM – Can I make it in this lifestyle?

I was curious about bdsm before I knew what it was. I knew I liked being spanked, being told what to do, etc. I started looking into bdsm but haven’t mentioned it to my boyfriend of 3.5 years because I’m afraid he’ll think I’m a weird, for lack of a better word. Although he knows [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Learn to Submit
A Day in the Life: moonlight

A Day in the Life: moonlight

This is a guest post by moonlight. My days usually begin at 7am or so when our child wakes up (although sometimes it is much earlier). I send Sir a good morning message and I check in with the rest of our poly group too. I make breakfast and decide on something for dinner that night in [...]

1 comment Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Learn to Submit
Ask lunaKM – Asking for Attention

Ask lunaKM – Asking for Attention

Dear LunaKMI am fairly new to the Dom/s relationship and have talked to a Dom online texts and bt phone. I am having trouble with understanding all the dynamics and was so relieved to find your site,thank u by the way. Heres my question … He requests a morning text and a nightly asking permission [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Online Submission
[Free Printable] A Submissive Is…

[Free Printable] A Submissive Is…

6 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Learn to Submit
Ask lunaKM – Is It Okay to be a Bedroom-Only Submissive?

Ask lunaKM – Is It Okay to be a Bedroom-Only Submissive?

Is it okay to only be interested in Bedroom BDSM? Does it make you vanilla- is it okay to describe yourself as submissive if you don’t into to be a lifestyler? Everything I read seems to describe D/s as an ‘all or nothing’ sort deal. What if you’re interested in being submissive outside the bedroom, [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Learn to Submit

Want to get More from Play? The Improved and Expanded Processing Pain in Play ebookTeaches you How!