Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration


Help define who you are and your submissive goals

Male Submission View All

Male submission – Financial Domination

Financial Domination is an area of BDSM which often elicits strong opinions. With other BDSM activities such as spanking and bondage, at some point after the Safe, Sane, and Consensual scene is over there is no damage done and things are typically physically back to the way they were. However, if a sub’s money is [...]

23, July | 3 comments

Male Submission – Selfishness

The title of this article may seem self-contradictory but submission means different things to different people and also almost all human beings are selfish to at least some degree at some point in our lives. Many submissives gain pleasure directly from the pleasure of their dominant and they are clearly not the target of this [...]

21, May | 8 comments

Male Submission – Foot Fetish

In this part 3 of my series of articles about Male Submission on The Submissive Guide, I discuss the role of a foot fetish. There are a whole lot of guys who have a fetish for feet, and while there are women who also have a foot fetish it is by far more prevalent with [...]

23, April | 10 comments

Mindset View All

Am I Trying Hard Enough? Learning how to Make the Most of Your Inner Voice

“She was afraid, however that she hadn’t pleased him. She searched her mind for faults. She had obeyed all his commands, and he understood how difficult it was for her. He knew completely what it meant for her to be stripped naked and revealed to everyone, to be helpless and made public and that this [...]

4, March | Leave a comment

Note To Self: Selfish Pride Comes Before A Fall

Pride, Merriam-Webster: : inordinate self-esteem :  conceit :  proud or disdainful behavior or treatment :  disdain :  ostentatious display Pride is a slippery emotion that I believe many a slave deal with, even if we don’t recognize it. I’m not talking about the feeling of elation and accomplishment after a job well done or when we’ve been recognized and [...]

7, January | 1 comment

Single In the Scene Part VIII: Transformation Happens

There’s going to come a point, I pray, that the single slave will be not so single and will be heading towards being owned. So for the last message in this series, I thought I’d talk about releasing the fear of transformation. There’s a song from the late 80′s “Don’t Make Me Over” by Sybil [...]

19, November | 1 comment

Online Submission View All

Book Review: Socrates Inspires Cherry to Blossom (The Online Dom)

Everyone is going to start thinking that Red Phoenix has me on her payroll considering all the recent reviews of her books. I’m just one of those people who when they come across something worth reading, I can’t keep it to myself, which is exactly why I’m sharing with you today “Socrates Inspires Cherry to [...]

12, March | 3 comments

Long Distance: Playtime

I think that many of us would agree that while playtime is not the most important aspect of our relationships, it plays a fairly vital role in our happiness in those relationships. It is, after all, one of the things that drive us to realize that mainstream relationships just don’t fit right for us, the [...]

22, October | 2 comments

Developing Effective Communication in Long Distance Relationships

To say that communication is important in a relationship is like saying that man must breathe to live: one simply shouldn’t have to specify its importance. Yet somehow, although I have never heard of a person who died because he forgot how to breathe, I have seen many relationships fall apart due to a distinct [...]

6, August | 2 comments

Other Articles View All

Being Submissive in a Vanilla World and How to Balance it Out

Being Submissive in a Vanilla World and How to Balance it Out

Things have changed a bit in our household in the past few weeks. The biggest change(and the one thing that has caused other things to change-yay snowball effect!)has been that I have started my German language course required by the immigration office This means that I now have class from 8:45 AM until 12:45 PM, [...]

1 comment Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Service, Submission
Why That Dominant You Found Online Just Disappeared After a Short Time

Why That Dominant You Found Online Just Disappeared After a Short Time

Here’s a scenario I get presented to me a lot in my email and pleas for help and advice: A submissive talks to a person identifying as Dominant online for a few hours, days or weeks. They have intimate talks, compatibility seems to be through the roof and the cyber sex and play, webcams or [...]

7 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Submission

Dolly Learns To Balance Kink and Everyday Life

This is a guest post by Dolly. My wanderings into BDSM and Dom/sub space started a few years ago with my partner, initially as a within-bedroom-limits play. In a whirlwind of exploration, delicious pain, laughter and the most deviant of confessions, we now find ourselves in a 24/7 Dom/sub relationship. As rewarding, grounding and indulgent [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Relationships, Submission
photo by du-feudalord (

Release from the Collar: A Journey

March 20, 2014. Sir released me tonight.  I’ve been released. I admire and respect his reasoning.  He has a lot going on and he can’t fulfill his responsibilities as my Dom.  He recognizes this and made the decision with my best interests in mind.  I didn’t ask for this; I wasn’t unhappy with our relationship.  [...]

4 comments Posted by pinksubgeek | Posted in: Submission

A Slave Uniform – What’s It Look Like?

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 1/4/14 I thought I’d tell you a personal story of how my life as a slave is developing in a unique and interesting way. It’s never been just KnyghtMare’s job to come up with ways to enhance and spice up our already powerful relationship and he loves to hear of [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Submission

When Your Dominant Controls the Money

This is a guest post by Andrew. How can you find happiness when your owner controls all the money in your relationship? I know this is going to sound corny but—money can’t buy happiness. As long as he or she isn’t driving the two of you into financial ruin by gambling, drinking, etc., then try [...]

6 comments Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Service, Submission
© Stugriffith | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

Are There Basic Expectations in a Dominant That I Should Look For?

Weeding through the number of messages in your inbox asking to get to know you better is a daunting task to most single people, and being submissive looking for a Dominant is no different. Well, perhaps it’s a little different. The compatibility that you are looking for as a submissive is more specific and challenging. [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Relationships, Submission

What’s Your Cutie Mark?

I LOVE “My Little Ponies: Friendship is Magic”. Sometimes in the evenings before bedtime, I will sit and watch episode after episode. My personal favorite is Pinkie Pie. I see a lot of myself in her. In the series, there’s a group, and they’ve dubbed themselves “The Cutie Mark Crusaders”. The reason why they call [...]

4 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Submission
How Being Too Eager Is Not Always a Good Thing

How Being Too Eager Is Not Always a Good Thing

The other day I read a post on a forum where a new submissive had asked if there was a reason she was turned down from a Dominant who said she was too eager. She wanted to know why eagerness was seen as a detriment to a new relationship when all she wanted to do [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Submission
Traveling With Toys: A Submissive’s Dilemma

Traveling With Toys: A Submissive’s Dilemma

I used to travel a lot for work, and whenever I was on a trip I had rules about what toys I was supposed to pack.  Every now and then Sir added new things to the list.  To make toy storage easier, I discovered that the most ideal toy bag was a bedazzled pink purse [...]

3 comments Posted by pinksubgeek | Posted in: Submission