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Browse: Home / understanding

understanding

Review: The Bride Wore Black Leather

By lunaKM on June 28, 2010

This month’s review is an etiquette book like no other. When I bought this book I wasn’t sure it would have any more information that Miss Manners or Emily Post but I was wrong, so very wrong. The Bride Wore Black Leather…And He Looked Fabulous!: An Etiquette Guide for the Rest of Us by Drew [...]

Posted in Reviews | Tagged alternative etiquette, amazon.com, book review, definitions, Drew Campbell, Emily Post, etiquette, greenery press, manners, miss manners, review, social etiquette, The Bride Wore Black Leather, understanding | Leave a response

Novice Q&A June Edition

By lunaKM on June 23, 2010

Each month I answer questions asked by readers like you. Come see what I’ve answered this month. Q: I’m quite new to the idea of being a submissive, but after a lot of research and buying a lot of books, I feel that I am ready to explore a bit more. I met an online [...]

Posted in Novice Q & A | Tagged amazon.com, commitment, D/s relationship, Dominance, information, needs, novice, questions, submission, understanding, wants | Leave a response

What is Devotional Service?

What is Devotional Service?

By lunaKM on June 9, 2010

To complete the series on types of service, today I’m going to cover devotional service. If you’d like a refresher on the other types of service please see the other posts: Transactional Devotional Positional Situational In my search for understanding about devotion I looked to religious ideas.  In many religions you devote your life and [...]

Posted in Service | Tagged devotion, devotional service, focus, meditation, pleasure, religion, series, Service, understanding, worship | 4 Responses

Novice Q&A – May Edition

By lunaKM on May 26, 2010

Every month I ask for your anonymous questions and pleas for advice. Here are the few I got this month. First one is about introducing D/s into an existing relationship. I also cover 2 dominant relationship, just starting out and writing a letter of intent. How do I introduce my husband to the D/s or [...]

Posted in Novice Q & A | Tagged advice, expectations, experience, information, marriage, needs, negotiation, negotiations, novice, poly, questions, serving, training, Training Resume, two dominants, understanding | 1 Response

Understanding Your Body’s Responses During Play

Understanding Your Body’s Responses During Play

By lunaKM on May 5, 2010

When you engage in playtime with a Dominant your body is the canvas for sensation and pleasure. You can run the gamut of emotions and many of them can take you by surprise. It’s not uncommon even for someone who plays regularly to be shocked by a new reaction to a play activity that they [...]

Posted in Playtime | Tagged body parts, crying, dizziness, emotions, endorphins, impact play, leatherbutt, pain tolerance, responses, shivers, stress, understanding | 2 Responses

The Newness of It: Understanding a Relationship

By lunaKM on May 3, 2010

This is a response to the following request for advice: I have a Dom, and He loves me. But the things is, sometimes he act as my “boyfriend” then he acts as my Master. I am having trouble dealing with the fact that he wants that Master and sub relationship as my utmost and foremost [...]

Posted in Relationships | Tagged advice, blind faith, challenges, defining roles, learning, novice, power exchange, questions, understanding | 8 Responses

Submissive Skills: Topping For Your Dominant’s Pleasure

Submissive Skills: Topping For Your Dominant’s Pleasure

By lunaKM on April 16, 2010

Every relationship dynamic is different. If you’ve been following this blog for any length of time you have been exposed to some very unique relationships and the submissives in those relationships. There are submissives who are pets, some who are slaves, others who, like you’ve read recently, are hunt sluts for their owners. Today I’m [...]

Posted in Talents and Skills | Tagged activities, development, dominance and submission, dynamic, kink, Masochism, pleasure, requests, Sadism, Service, sexual personality, skills, topping from the bottom, understanding | 9 Responses

Preach What You Practice

By lunaKM on April 2, 2010

Not long ago I had someone ask me privately why I feel the need to help submissives with this website, and what qualifications I have to tell people how to improve themselves. And it’s true that I don’t have any life coaching training or experience with counseling, but for what I do here only one [...]

Posted in Service | Tagged experience, information, novice, perfection, understanding | 2 Responses

Novice Q&A – February Edition

By lunaKM on February 24, 2010

Novice Q & A is for you to ask questions about things you’d like more information on, advice you are looking for or anything else. You can even ask me personal questions! My inbox is always open so you can send me questions whenever they occur. Last month I answered questions about appropriate greetings and topping [...]

Posted in Novice Q & A | Tagged advice, answers, ask me, emotions, information, novices, questions, series, understanding | Leave a response

The Ins and Outs of Fetishes

The Ins and Outs of Fetishes

By lunaKM on December 16, 2009

“I have a fetish for wool socks, I just love them!” “I have a fetish for corsets, I can’t get off without thinking of them!” One of these statements is a sure sign of a fetish; the other is a misuse of the term. Sure this is a poor example. How many times have you [...]

Posted in Playtime | Tagged BDSM, blogs, body parts, cons, corsets, desires, development, Dom, dominant, favorite, fetishes, fetishism, fetishist, foot fetish, gender, hands, health, latex, learning, leather, love, obsession, partialism, piercing, play, preference, relationship, role play, rt, safe, sex, sexual fetishes, sexual fetishism, share, size, speech, standing, stimulus, stress, submissive, understanding, what is a fetish, worship | 1 Response

Can You Separate BDSM and Sex?

Can You Separate BDSM and Sex?

By lunaKM on December 7, 2009

When Master and I get to play, it’s quite sexually charged. We find the play and the energy we swap as very sexual. Our play time usually ends in sex of some form. That’s just how we roll. Does it always have to be that way? Heck no! In fact, when I was casually playing, [...]

Posted in BDSM Basics, Sex and Sexuality | Tagged basics, BDSM, BDSM and sex, bdsm play, chat, decisions, discussion, Dom, dominant, energy, experience, intimacy, kinky, kinky side, negotiation, partners, play, play parties, relationship, rt, rules, scene, sex, sexual pleasure, standing, submissive, transcript, understanding | 4 Responses

Review: Erotic Slavehood

Review: Erotic Slavehood

By lunaKM on November 23, 2009

One of the cornerstone books recommended for submissives and Dominants alike has always been Erotic Slavehood by Christina Abernathy. Once two individual books; Miss Abernathy’s Concise Slave Training Manual and Training with Miss Abernathy, this omnibus has everything you could want in a manual about training submissives. When I first read this book I was [...]

Posted in Reviews | Tagged amazon.com, book, books, Dom, dominant, dominant partner, dominants, Impact, information, m/s, Miss Abernathy, relationship, review, rt, Service, single, slave, slave training, standing, submissive, training, understanding | 2 Responses

One month into my first real time D/S relationship: A Training Review

By Guest Author on November 16, 2009

This is a Guest Post by A. She is a new submissive in her first 24/7 dynamic. I received this wonderfully written review of her first 30 days and she offered to share it with everyone here. Enjoy! It has come to my attention after reading submissiveguide.com that my training with Sir has already begun, [...]

Posted in Submission | Tagged 24/7, acceptance, BDSM, Bondage, clean, cleaning, clothing, control, D/s, Dom, Dominance, dress, dynamic, experience, favorite, fetlife, focus, grooming, growth and development, guest post, hands, help, honesty, infraction, kneeling, learned, learning, lingerie, love, natural, needs, online, orgasm control, play, positions, progress, protocol, punishment, RACK, relationship, requests, review, risk, ritual, rituals, rt, sex, share, spanking, speech, submission, submissive, submissive understanding, toy, toys, training, understanding, wants, worship, writing | 10 Responses

Am I Submissive?

Am I Submissive?

By lunaKM on November 4, 2009

So, you want me to tell you how you can tell if you are submissive or not? Asking someone else if you are submissive is like asking a blind man what color your dress is. Is there some magical online quiz that can say whether you are submissive or slave? Unfortunately no and I don’t [...]

Posted in Submission | Tagged book, choice, choices, community, connection, control, Dom, Dominance, dominant, dress, experience, happiness, help, inclination, learned, learning, Mindset, natural, online, personal choices, poses, prayer, questions, relationship, religion, ritual, rt, Service, serving, sex, slave, spirit, spiritual, standing, stimulus, submission, submissive, trust, understanding | 2 Responses

The Disposable Relationship Mentality

The Disposable Relationship Mentality

By lunaKM on October 26, 2009

I’ve been witness to a shocking new trend in relationships lately. Perhaps I’m old school or old fashioned but what I’m seeing in today’s society, and not just the BDSM culture, is the lack of effort in relationships. As I was raised I was taught that something worthwhile wasn’t always easy to achieve and you [...]

Posted in Relationships | Tagged advice, BDSM, begging, communication, cons, disposable, disposable relationship mentality, disposable relationships, experience, family, happiness, love, marriage, online, questions, recommendations, relationship, Relationships, ritual, rt, spirit, spiritual, standing, understanding | 5 Responses

Strengths and Misconceptions of Kajira

Strengths and Misconceptions of Kajira

By Guest Author on September 16, 2009

This is another guest post by dina of kajiradreams. She continues her thoughts on Gor and the life of a kajira. You can also read her thoughts on what it’s like to be an owned kajira. The strengths of a kajira and the misconceptions of what a kajira is and does. And what strengths better [...]

Posted in Submission | Tagged book, books, comfort, commitment, cons, control, decisions, desires, Dom, dominant, dreams, emotions, fantasy, fear, female, Gor, Gorean Lifestyle, guest post, hands, help, honesty, ideals, journey, kajira, lifestyle, love, misconceptions of Gor, needs, obedience, owned, play, player, purpose, rt, safe, series, sex, slave, sorry, spirit, standing, strengths of kajira, submission, submissive, switch, tall, trust, understanding, value, wants | 6 Responses

Don’t Assume Submissive Means Sister

By lunaKM on September 9, 2009

You know you’ve entered online submissive ground when everyone you don’t know starts to refer to you as sister. It’s been years since I’ve ‘lived’ online but this is something that has always irked me. Recently on FetLife I saw a question that had an interesting twist to the whole sister submissive thing that I’d [...]

Posted in Online Submission | Tagged BDSM, blind faith, comfort, D/s, danger, Dom, dominant, dominants, experience, family, fantasy, fetlife, friends, Gor, grace, guest post, health, help, lifestyle, nurtured, online, Online Submission, opinion, perfect world, poly, preference, questions, real life, real world, relationship, Relationships, rt, Service, share, sister, sister sub, standing, submission, submissive, support, understanding, value | 9 Responses

Now Available: The Spanking Series in E-Book!

Now Available: The Spanking Series in E-Book!

By lunaKM on September 1, 2009

If you have ever wondered how you can get the spanking you’ve always wanted but wasn’t sure how to ask for it, there is a book for you. I was just offered the chance to review a copy of How to Get the Spanking You Want: The Complete Guide to Asking for It, Getting It [...]

Posted in BDSM Basics, Views & More... | Tagged abuse, advice, Aria, blogs, book, books, bottom, caning, choice, clean, desires, discipline, Disciplined Feminist, Dom, e-book, emotions, experience, fear, focus, gender, gender roles, grace, help, history, learning, lifestyle, little girl, love, marks, real life, relationship, Resources, review, roles, rt, safe, series, share, size, spanking, spanking series, standing, tips, training, understanding, Variant Books, Vivian | Leave a response

Chat Night Transcript From BDSM and Sex Talk – 8/25/09

Chat Night Transcript From BDSM and Sex Talk – 8/25/09

By lunaKM on August 27, 2009

Our first chat was a great success. Everyone gave permission to post the transcript and continue the conversation here. I loved every minute of interesting conversation. Read and enjoy! <~luna[KM]> Alright, let’s get started. If you haven’t figured out, I’m luna. I started the site in January after I got tired of not finding what [...]

Posted in Views & More... | Tagged abuse, acceptance, BDSM, BDSM and sex, Bondage, book, chat, chat night, community, connection, cons, control, D/s, Dom, Dominance, email, experience, fantasy, fear, focus, Impact, impact play, information, IRC, kink acceptance, kinky, lifestyle, love, masochist, online, opinion, owned, play, play parties, relationship, Relationships, ritual, rt, scene, scening, separation, Service, sex, sexual encounters, share, sharing, spirit, spiritual, standing, stereotype, submission, submissive chat, support, transcript, understanding, wants | 3 Responses

The Behind the Scenes: A Dominant Character

The Behind the Scenes: A Dominant Character

By lunaKM on June 22, 2009

I’ve been exploring the writing of a Dominant mind lately and thought I’d share with you some of the wonderful musings this man has for learning the Dominant personae. The blog I’ve been exploring is A Dominant Character and is written by Sir J. I’d recommend you drop by and take a look at what [...]

Posted in Views & More... | Tagged A Dominant Character, balance, blog review, blogging, blogs, cons, D/s, Dom, Dominance, dominant, dominant blog, dominants, dress, email, first aid, honesty, learning, love, m/s, openness, play, relationship, Relationships, rss, rt, scene, share, Sir J, standing, submission, submissive, surrender, training, understanding, writing | Leave a response

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