Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

Articles for tag 'understanding'

Articles

Every Good Conversation Starts with Good Listening

Every Good Conversation Starts with Good Listening

Communication comes up frequently as a key topic to developing and maintaining healthy, open relationships. But many of us don’t know what good communication looks like and have problems with at least one part of good communication techniques.

3 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Relationships

Hitting the Wall During Play – Limit’s Edge

What does it mean to hit the wall? Let’s explore how deep the rabbit hole goes and become more aware of our own limits during play.

Leave a comment Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Play and Sex, Safety
7 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Was New to BDSM

7 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Was New to BDSM

There is always time for a bit of education and knowledge before exploration. It can keep you safe, it can make you more aware, it can keep you safe and it can be fun. What 7 things did I learn that I wish I had known a LONG time ago?

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Personal Growth
Submissive Myths: Submission is a Result of Childhood Abuse

Submissive Myths: Submission is a Result of Childhood Abuse

If a human being at some point in their childhood becomes the focus of physical and/or sexual abuse does this then turn them into a submissive at some later point in their lives?

1 comment Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Beginner Basics
The Art of Apology: Receiving an apology when you don’t think one is necessary

The Art of Apology: Receiving an apology when you don’t think one is necessary

Maybe you know a frequent apologizer, or maybe you’ve been surprised, but at some point in your life, you’ve probably had someone tell you, “Hey, I’m sorry!” and your immediate response was, “What on earth are you apologizing for?”

Leave a comment Posted by kallista | Posted in: Relationships
How To Understand The Grief Process for a Dominant Who Passed Away

How To Understand The Grief Process for a Dominant Who Passed Away

Your grief will take as long as it takes. Here are the five steps to the grief process and further support for grieving and loss.

1 comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything
Trying to Make a Poly Relationship Work

Trying to Make a Poly Relationship Work

All three of you will have to communicate open and honestly about what you want and what you need. You’ll all need to have an understanding of what your relationship is and what it isn’t. You’ll have to negotiate the specifics of what works and what doesn’t so that you’re all comfortable.

1 comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything
The Art of Apology: Knowing When to Apologize

The Art of Apology: Knowing When to Apologize

How do you know when you owe someone an apology? Continuing kallista’s series on apologizing with knowing when an apology is necessary.

Leave a comment Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Strong and Submissive: Exploring the Phenomenon of Strong Female Submissives

Strong and Submissive: Exploring the Phenomenon of Strong Female Submissives

About half of us are like me – powerful energetic women who love to submit. I become even more of the strong woman that I am outside the bedroom, the strong woman who revels both in her strength and in her submission.

7 comments Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Mindset

Understanding the Reason Behind, “Am I The Only One?” and How to Respond (With a Bit of Netiquette Rules)

The underlying response to this question is simple, but the reason the person asked it is because it doesn’t feel simple to them. Give the person compassion, not snark.

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Newsletter Archive

Build Self-Esteem through Grooming Rituals: Series Intro

When you’re being asked to put your body on display for various purposes, having a low self-esteem or an unhappy body image can be detrimental to how you conduct yourself in and out of play.

2 comments Posted by kallista | Posted in: Personal Growth
Tips For Those Struggling to Enter the Local BDSM Community

Tips For Those Struggling to Enter the Local BDSM Community

I logged onto Fetlife one early Friday morning with a steamy cup of joe and saw this message straight away: I was there last night but didn’t get out of my truck. I was still in my work clothes and didn’t really know how to find you guys. Maybe I’ll try again next month. As [...]

3 comments Posted by Mrs. Darling | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Community
When Kinky isn’t Sexy

When Kinky isn’t Sexy

A common misunderstanding that people who are new to the scene seem to have is that kink and sex are indistinguishable from each other: if something kinky ensues, something sexy is sure to follow. The reality is, however, that the two can, and sometimes should, be separated. This is especially true if the participants in [...]

3 comments Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Safewords During Disciplinary Punishment: Yay or Nay?

Safewords During Disciplinary Punishment: Yay or Nay?

Recently I was in a discussion about safewords, but it wasn’t the usual definitions and whether they are truly useful so I thought I’d work though my thoughts on it here and share it with you. The question that was presented was whether safewords should be allowed during punishment and if they weren’t was that [...]

11 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Safety
Image by blyss

M/s and When Life Happens: Unexpected Happenings

Over the past few months, my life has been a whirlwind of obligations, setbacks, injuries, working with an aging parent, and apparently an abundance of emails… ‘Life happened’ all over my perfectly scheduled routine and pristinely managed emotions. In the vanilla world ‘life’ is expected to happen – meaning, we expect the unexpected because that’s [...]

2 comments Posted by charmed blyss | Posted in: Mindset, Personal Growth, Relationships, Service
Overcoming a Limit (A Reflection)

Overcoming a Limit (A Reflection)

Creating a list of hard and soft limits is generally one of the first things that we as submissives do when we come the realization that we’re interested in the lifestyle. Sometimes these are long lists and sometimes they’re short, but usually, we have a good idea of the things we’re interested in, the things [...]

2 comments Posted by kallista | Posted in: Personal Growth
Submitting in a Long Distance Relationship: Missing You

Submitting in a Long Distance Relationship: Missing You

Intro: Where were we again? It might be in poor taste to pick up where I left off after nearly a two-year hiatus from Submissive Guide, but I felt that long distance relationships was as appropriate as any to begin with, if not a little ironic. My Dominant and I are on the cusp of [...]

2 comments Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Relationships
Always Getting in Trouble – Submissive Meditation Monday

Always Getting in Trouble – Submissive Meditation Monday

I’m devoting this Monday to meditation, reflection and devotion to submission. I hope to select topics that will get you thinking differently about some part of your life or submission and then just maybe grow a little bit further. If you have ideas for topics that might work for a Meditation Monday, please email me. “I am [...]

2 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Mindset
Interracial: Amor en blanco y negro by ElRaffa (Flickr.com)

Master/slave Relationships in Black and White

It’s not uncommon for a black person entering the Lifestyle to wonder, is it acceptable for me as a black woman (or man) to have or serve a white Master? The short answer to this question is – yeah! We all can pursue the dynamics that we desire with whom we desire. But there’s obviously [...]

13 comments Posted by charmed blyss | Posted in: Community, Mindset, Relationships
Under the Microscope: Analyzing What You Read About BDSM for the Truth

Under the Microscope: Analyzing What You Read About BDSM for the Truth

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 10/18/14 Do you trust everything you read? You shouldn’t. I suggest you not listen to everything I have to say. Why? Because some if it might not be right or true for you and if that’s the case then what you read isn’t for you. It could even be based [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Newsletter Archive
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