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Browse: Home / trust

trust

Novice Q&A – August Edition

By lunaKM on August 25, 2010

Q: I am a relatively new submissive.  I have had two previous D/s relationships.  One was ended suddenly – just a week or so after being given a collar, he suddenly disappeared from my life with no explanation.  I have since realised that the collar came without any understandings or pre-requisites should have been a [...]

Posted in Novice Q & A | Tagged expectations, learning, needs, novice, questions, safe words, SehAnru, trust, wants | Leave a response

Serving after Abuse

By SehAnru on July 19, 2010

Having been in the lifestyle for almost two years now, one of the things that I have noticed is that I am facing a lot of issues due to abuse from my past. Not from any Dominant in the lifestyle, just from others in my past. I’ve learned enough that if you have similar past [...]

Posted in Submission | Tagged abuse, breaking down barriers, openness, reprogrammed responses, Safety, suggestions, support, trust | 3 Responses

Well, what’re ya gonna do when he wants to chop your finger off?

Well, what’re ya gonna do when he wants to chop your finger off?

By Rayne on April 26, 2010

I said before I’m a “no limits” slave.  Bring on the barrage of “What if your master wanted to cut your arm off?” type questions. There are few scenarios related to what most would consider safe and sane kink that I will attempt to avoid, but when it comes right down to it, if The [...]

Posted in Safety | Tagged communication, limits, logic, no limits slavery, novice experiences, safe words, scenarios, slave, trust | 8 Responses

Up in Flames: The Basics of Fireplay

By Guest Author on January 11, 2010

This is another guest post for the BDSM Play Feature here on SubmissiveGuide. This post about Fire Play is by Gwendolyn. Enjoy! I have always been a fire bug and am a volunteer fire fighter. So when I became interested in BDSM and heard about fire play it was definitely top of my list of [...]

Posted in BDSM Basics | Tagged amazon.com, basics, BDSM, bdsm play, bdsm play feature, book, bottom, cons, danger, Dom, Domme, email, event, events, experience, feature series, fetlife, fire cupping, fire drumming, fire fleshing, fire flogging, fire play, fire whipping, focus, friends, friendships, guest post, Gwendolyn, health, information, learned, leather, love, m/s, online, opinion, pain tolerance, play, poly, questions, review, risk, rt, safe, Safety, scene, Service, single, slave, stress, submissive, support, toy, toys, trust, websites, writing | 1 Response

Chat Night Transcript for Speaking Submissively

Chat Night Transcript for Speaking Submissively

By lunaKM on December 8, 2009

This chat was held on December 2nd, 2009. ~lunaKM> So tonight I wanted to talk about speech and how the way we communicate can impact our submission. Nia> tonight’s topic really struck a chord with me angel> same here ~lunaKM> I’ve been doing a bit of non-scientific research of my own when I am out [...]

Posted in Views & More... | Tagged advice, chat, chat night, community, control, D/s, decisions, discussion, Dom, dominant, Dominant bashing, Domme, experience, family, fear, friends, gossip, grace, help, Impact, information, learned, natural, needs, online, opinion, play, questions, recovery, relationship, requests, risk, rt, safe, serving, sex, share, sharing, size, sorry, speaking submissively, speech, submission, submissive, suggestions, support, switch, switching, tall, transcript, trust, wants | 3 Responses

How To Help Your Dominant Recover From Play

How To Help Your Dominant Recover From Play

By lunaKM on November 9, 2009

When aftercare is mentioned, it is rarely associated with the Dominant. We hear all about how to help the submissive come down from the endorphin high, treat the marks and aches and emotionally recover from the scene. Do we think that Dominants feel nothing during play that they don’t need care afterwards? Think again. When [...]

Posted in Playtime | Tagged aftercare, bdsm play, connection, control, Dom, dominant, dominant aftercare, dominant recovery, dominants, endorphins, energy, experience, focus, help, Impact, marks, needs, partner focus, play, recovery from play, relationship, rt, scene, sex, shower, submissive, trust | 8 Responses

Am I Submissive?

Am I Submissive?

By lunaKM on November 4, 2009

So, you want me to tell you how you can tell if you are submissive or not? Asking someone else if you are submissive is like asking a blind man what color your dress is. Is there some magical online quiz that can say whether you are submissive or slave? Unfortunately no and I don’t [...]

Posted in Submission | Tagged book, choice, choices, community, connection, control, Dom, Dominance, dominant, dress, experience, happiness, help, inclination, learned, learning, Mindset, natural, online, personal choices, poses, prayer, questions, relationship, religion, ritual, rt, Service, serving, sex, slave, spirit, spiritual, standing, stimulus, submission, submissive, trust, understanding | 2 Responses

The Many Layers of Sub Space

By lunaKM on October 17, 2009

This week’s video post is about sub space. When you first heard about sub space it was probably something that you either thought you’d never experience or something that seemed so strange and foreign that you believed it to be a myth. Then you heard the stories and could swear that people were on drugs [...]

Posted in Playtime, Video Posts | Tagged connection, Dom, dominant, emotions, endorphins, experience, focus, happiness, information, love, masochist, play, prayer, rt, Service, slave, spirit, sub space, submission, subspace, trust, value | 3 Responses

Exploring Your Place in BDSM Play

Exploring Your Place in BDSM Play

By lunaKM on September 23, 2009

Submission during play can be overwhelming. How do you understand what you might like? What about the buzz words of subspace and sub drop? One of Submissive Guide’s goals is to help novice submissives understand BDSM and their place in it. To help you begin your exploration I’ve put together a list of the posts [...]

Posted in BDSM Basics | Tagged aftercare, BDSM, bdsm checklist, bdsm play, checklist, comfort, cons, consensual, D/s, development, Dom, dominant, dominants, help, journey, novice, online, play, Playtime, questions, RACK, relationship, Relationships, risk, risk aware, rt, safe, safewords, sane, scene, share, single, SSC, sub drop, sub frenzy, sub space, submission, submissive, subspace, toy, toybag, trust | Leave a response

The Safety Disguise of Safewords

The Safety Disguise of Safewords

By lunaKM on September 21, 2009

I’ve always believed that safewords are only good if you know how to use them. Good ole communication is great for things like numb limbs, an itch you can’t reach or a bathroom break.  Submissive Guide is here for novices and it’s always good to teach about safewords and recommend that you have one. In [...]

Posted in Safety | Tagged acceptance, advice, bath, BDSM, bdsm play, beginning bdsm, blogs, book, communication, cons, consensual, danger, desires, Dom, dominant, information, kajira, learned, needs, negotiation, novice, novices, partners, play, relationship, Relationships, risk, rt, safe, Safety, safewords, sane, security, share, stress, submissive, trust | 2 Responses

Strengths and Misconceptions of Kajira

Strengths and Misconceptions of Kajira

By Guest Author on September 16, 2009

This is another guest post by dina of kajiradreams. She continues her thoughts on Gor and the life of a kajira. You can also read her thoughts on what it’s like to be an owned kajira. The strengths of a kajira and the misconceptions of what a kajira is and does. And what strengths better [...]

Posted in Submission | Tagged book, books, comfort, commitment, cons, control, decisions, desires, Dom, dominant, dreams, emotions, fantasy, fear, female, Gor, Gorean Lifestyle, guest post, hands, help, honesty, ideals, journey, kajira, lifestyle, love, misconceptions of Gor, needs, obedience, owned, play, player, purpose, rt, safe, series, sex, slave, sorry, spirit, standing, strengths of kajira, submission, submissive, switch, tall, trust, understanding, value, wants | 6 Responses

What It Means to Be an Owned Kajira

What It Means to Be an Owned Kajira

By Guest Author on September 15, 2009

Today’s guest post is by dina from Kajiradreams. She’s donated a few posts for this week on Gorean Living so watch for them in the coming days! My Master gave me the task of writing down my thoughts on what it means to be an owned kajira. I can only ever write this from my [...]

Posted in Submission | Tagged 24/7, amazon.com, BDSM, book, books, bottom, choice, collaring, cons, decisions, desires, Dom, dreams, email, emotions, Gor, guest post, guest posts, hands, kajira, limits, love, m/s, natural, needs, owned, phenomenon, play, rt, single, sorry, spirit, submission, submissive, surrender, surrendering, tall, trust, what to wear, writing | 16 Responses

A Lesson in Control with Self-Punishment

A Lesson in Control with Self-Punishment

By lunaKM on August 10, 2009

Each and every day there is the chance to scew up and be disobedient. Luckily, most of us won’t break rules every single day but when we do we know that punishment will come swiftly and precisely. That is, unless you are an online submissive. Then there are a few other steps to having punishment [...]

Posted in Online Submission, Relationships | Tagged BDSM, blogs, book, calendar, chat, chat room, clothing, communication, control, Dom, dominant, email, essays, event, favorite, focus, growth, help, infraction, learning, lectures, limits, negotiation, obedience, online, online D/s, orgasms, public punishment, punishment, punishments, purpose, relationship, Relationships, rt, rules, self punishment ideas, self-discipline, sex, sexual chastisement, single, submission, submissive, tasks, trust, writing, writing essays | 6 Responses

Living with Kids While in the D/s Lifestyle

Living with Kids While in the D/s Lifestyle

By Guest Author on August 4, 2009

This is a guest post by Christian. He  is a switch male of the D/s lifestyle for the past 14 years. For my first post here I am going to write about something I get asked a fair bit. How does one raise kids in a D/s household? As one with several kids I thought [...]

Posted in Relationships, Social Norms | Tagged activities, BDSM, bdsm play, Bondage, Christian, community, D/s, decisions, dress, email, family, female, guest post, help, history, implement, internet, lifestyle, opinion, play, rt, safe, Service, sex, shopping, spanking, stress, submission, submissive, switch, tasks, trust | Leave a response

The Many Faces of Submission

The Many Faces of Submission

By lunaKM on July 22, 2009

Types of submissives come in as many varieties as wines; there is one for every palette and preference. When someone tells you that you are submissive and you finally admit to yourself that you are submissive, which can be a journey itself, you can figure out how your submission differs from another by what type [...]

Posted in Submission | Tagged BDSM, bdsm lifestyle, bottom, clean, control, Dom, dominant, fetlife, information, journey, lifestyle, love, novice, novices, owned, partners, play, power exchange, preference, relationship, role play, roles, rt, sex, sexual pleasure, share, slave, spanking, submission, submissive, surrender, surrendering, trust | 4 Responses

Sub Space: The Ultimate Frontier

Sub Space: The Ultimate Frontier

By lunaKM on June 6, 2009

Exploring submission play can involve intense sensation. As a normal part of some submissive’s play is sub space. Not everyone reaches subspace each and every time and you can not expect to reach it at all. Sub space is a way your body responds to endorphins. Described as similar to a runner’s high this is [...]

Posted in Playtime | Tagged danger, Dom, dominant, endorphins, essays, experience, favorite, friends, internet, m/s, mental space, Mindset, normal, novice, play, relationship, rt, safe, stress, sub space, submission, submissive, subspace, trust | Leave a response

When Submissives Go Wild: Sub Frenzy

When Submissives Go Wild: Sub Frenzy

By lunaKM on June 3, 2009

Submissive Frenzy is a state of mind that you may experience at any point in your submission. It is most commonly associated with new submissives, but it can also come about when more seasoned submissives end a relationship or even during a relationship. During submissive frenzy, you may feel a desperate need to have your [...]

Posted in BDSM Basics | Tagged activities, BDSM, BDSM withdrawl, common sense, cons, danger, decisions, desires, Dom, dominant, event, experience, fall in love, friends, lifestyle, love, natural, needs, novice, play, relationship, risk, rt, safe, stress, sub frenzy, submission, submissive, submissive frenzy, trust | 2 Responses

Can I Be Abused in a BDSM Relationship?

By lunaKM on June 2, 2009

This week’s video post is about BDSM vs. Abuse. A BDSM relationship, especially one with sadomasochistic moments, is subject to questions all the time about it’s proximity to abuse. It is not uncommon to have people unfamiliar with BDSM to say that what we do is abuse and violence; we see it all the time [...]

Posted in BDSM Basics, Safety, Video Posts | Tagged abuse, BDSM, bdsm lifestyle, BDSM vs Abuse, community, cons, consensual, contracts, control, danger, Dom, domestic violence project, Dominance, dominant, experience, family, health, healthy BDSM, journey, leather, lifestyle, m/s, masochist, national leather association, natural, negotiation, newsletter, partners, poly, punishment, punishments, questions, relationship, rt, scene, Service, sex, slave, stress, submissive, trust, value | Leave a response

Cyber Submission and Exploring D/s Online

Cyber Submission and Exploring D/s Online

By lunaKM on May 21, 2009

Today’s post comes from Skylerpet, a submissive pet in a D/s relationship with experience in online submission. Thank you Skylerpet! Online D/s is perhaps one of the most controversial subjects in the Dominance and submission community. The stance i will take on this subject, based on online D/s relationships of my own, is that yes; it [...]

Posted in Online Submission | Tagged 24/7, BDSM, bdsm play, blogs, Bondage, calendar, changing, chat, community, cons, control, cyber relationships, D/s, desires, Dom, Dominance, dominant, dress, dynamic, dynamics, email, emotions, essays, experience, family, favorite, friends, guest post, honesty, information, internet, internet tools, IRC, kinky, lifestyle, love, needs, online, online D/s, online dominance, Online Submission, online training, opinion, partners, pet play, play, predators, questions, real life, red flags, relationship, Relationships, rt, safe, Safety, security, sex, short, skylerpet, slave, stress, submission, submissive, tasks, titles, trust, twitter, wants, websites, writing | 2 Responses

Can Online Training Work?

By lunaKM on May 19, 2009

This week’s video is about online training and submission. The world of online Dominance and submission is riddled with skepticism and disbelief that anyone can really live and enjoy a relationship online. The fact of it all is that there are an endless numbers of people experiencing a form of D/s called cyber D/s. Whether [...]

Posted in Online Submission, Video Posts | Tagged BDSM, chat, chat room, chat rooms, D/s, discipline, Dom, Dominance, dominant, email, experience, grooming, learned, learning, mentor, online, online D/s, online dominance, online training, partners, play, questions, relationship, Relationships, ritual, role play, rt, rules, safe, serving, sex, structure, Study, submission, submissive, tasks, training, trust, value, websites | 2 Responses

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