Submissive Guide On Twitter

If you haven’t joined the craze in new information delivery that is twitter, you are missing out. Thought to be the internet’s next big social media outlet, Submissive Guide decided to join from the onset. It’s been an amazing few months so far, and I’m still trying to figure out what my followers want as far as information from me in my tweets. If you have input as to what would be useful to you in short 140 character bursts throughout the day please let me know.

Follow Submissive Guide on Twitter!

What you can get from my twitter:

1. Links to interesting BDSM and submission related essays across the internet
2. Recommended FetLife submissive groups
3. Quotes and Journal Prompts
4. Household tips and tricks
5. Links to posts from other submissive communities
6. Suggested book reading
7. Notices about contests and giveaways
8. Submissive Guide new post notices
9. Questions and news from Submissive Guide
10. more…!

So what are you waiting for? Join twitter and follow the Guide now!

Are you interested in joining a group of submissives on Twitter? SubmissiveGuide.com has a Twibe. The Twibe is called ‘submissives‘. Once you join the twibe any tweets you do that have the keywords submissive, sub or slave in them with hashtags or not will automatically show up on the twibe page. This is quite nice for group discussion and getting to know one another!

Serving Food and Drink [Day 7 - 2WBSP]

Welcome to another day of learning and enhancing submissive positions. Today we are going to cover food service etiquette. Some of this may be familiar to you. If this is the case, try to enhance it and make it more personal and unique to your relationship.

If you’ve ever been to a more formal restaurant with white table clothes and places already set before you sit down, you may have experienced a more organized service of food and drink. Today I have a collection of tips, tricks and resources for serving a full meal to your Dominant with style and grace.

I know that there is a correct side to place food and then the opposite to remove dirty dishes, however I don’t know which it is, could someone fill me in? There is a proper way to hold the plate when serving and so forth I want to know those tips too! Please share them in the comments.

I’m still learning this form of service so I will use a lot of other resources to talk about this, but it is important even if you are serving just your Dominant and no one else. Here are some beginning resources for a more formal service.

• Setting the Table
• Rules for Serving
• Food and Beverage Service Manual
• Service at Its Best—Waiter/Waitress Training: Guide to Becoming a Successful Serverby Ed Sanders, Paul C. Paz and Ron Wilkinson
• Robert’s Guide for Butlers and Household Staff
• Mrs Beeton’s Book of Household Management (Oxford World’s Classics)
• Butlers & Household Managers: 21st Century Professionals

There are also ways to have a D/s centered formal dinner. These are completely different no matter where you go, but they always hold some form of protocol, rules and structure for the evening. Here is a link to the essay on The Iron Gate about a formal D/s dinner: Masters Banquet – A formal D/s Feast.

I’m always looking for more tips and resources, please share yours with me!

photo post qousqous

Pet Play and Human Pets: A Primer

Today’s post comes from Skylerpet, a submissive pet in a D/s relationship who volunteered to write an essay for me after seeing the Weekly Tips on YouTube. Thank you Skylerpet!

Pet play is one of the most unique, one of the least known and in my opinion one of the most fun and entertaining sub-cultures in the BDSM, D/s and “kink” lifestyle. Now, I write this from the perspective of a submissive female, so please keep in mind that it can be changed around to any form you want.

Pet play involves one or more people acting as an animal with typically the submissive being the animal and the Dominant being the “Owner” and/or “Trainer.” I have heard of the Dominant being the animal and Dominating his/her submissive that way, such as holding the submissive down with a bite on the neck, but I am unfamiliar with this.

What animals are common for submissives to be? Most commonly you will see ponies, puppies and pigs. I myself have been a kitty and as of this writing am a puppy. Less frequently I have also seen bunnies, cows and once a seal, though I have no experience with these animals.

For me, one of the biggest reasons I enjoy pet play, aside from it simply being fun, is that it reinforces the Owner/owned relationship. Non-human pets are owned and completely dependent on their owner. They get fed when the owner decides and only then. Their toys and medical care is wholly dependent upon the owner remembering and doing. In a 24/7 D/s relationship this is often times also true. The slave is fed after their Owner has eaten. They wear what their Owner wishes, sleeps when and where their Owner tells them, and follows the rules their Owner dictates. So it is with non-human pets. The only difference is that your non-human pets didn’t consent. You choose them and bring them home upon your own whim. With D/s pet play, the submissive consents to be the property of their Owner. For me, being an animal, being “less than human” reinforces my Dom’s Domination of me. He is a Man and wholly human. I am a pup. His pup.

How is the animal chosen?

There are typically three ways.

• One way is the submissive acting upon his/her instincts to which animal they most identify with. If the submissive is loyal and playful perhaps they lean towards puppy. If they enjoy being led around and high protocol training perhaps it would be pony.
• One other common way for the animal to be chosen is for the Dominant to choose for the submissive. If S/He prefers a puppy to a kitty, the submissive will be molded into a puppy. As another example if the Dom is a farmer who enjoys breastfeeding from His submissive, perhaps He would like her to be a cow.
• The submissive can also switch animals from time to time if their pet play is temporary, if they simply enjoy experimentation or if they do not identify with one particular animal.

Why pet play?

• One large reason many D/s couples go into pet play is for the humiliation and dependence aspect. Restricting a submissive’s movement and vocalizations forces them to be that much more dependent on their Dom. Also, not being allowed on furniture or having to use a litter box instead of a toilet can be very humiliating for some.
• Another is because it is simply fun. It is a great psychological and emotional release to be able to come home and let loose the restrictions of humanity and what humans are “supposed to be like.” It is just plain fun to bat around a cat toy or play tricks and get treat rewards. It could also be described as a “de-stressing” process from the rigors of daily life, especially if the participants work outside the home.
• It can help with submission, as taking away some parts of the submissive’s humanity can help take away their sense of equality. It can help the submissive orient their mind to their Dom being their focus in life.
• Pet play could also be used as punishment. If the submissive misbehaves badly it could be punishment to be put out in the pig stalls with the pigs for a period of time, or whatever animal is available, and made to act like that animal as the punishment.

How does one engage in pet play?

• Restrict movement via bondage.
• Restrict verbal communication, perhaps to only certain words or animal sounds such as “woof!” or “mew!” or more child-like words such as “up!” or “potty!”.
• Training exercises such as tricks for puppies, walking on leads and leashes or for ponies pulling a cart/plow.
• Eating and drinking out of bowls without the use of hands and/or silverware.
• Learning to use a litter box instead of a toilet, or even going outside.
• Playing with toys, such as batting toys for kitties or tug-of-war toys for puppies.
• Begging in the manner of the animal you identify with, such as a puppy whining.
• Caging.
• Not being allowed on furniture without permission.

Also, safety is incredibly important!

So please keep these things in mind, and also any others that fit your lifestyle:

• When it comes to eating actual animal food, while it is okay for perhaps a short scene, it is not safe to do so on a regular basis. Humans have different nutritional needs than animals do, and it is incredibly important to get your nutritional needs met. There are many ways to simulate animal food and treats such as mashing up meatloaf with ketchup, using stews or even baking treats in the shapes of bones and such. However, for any long term play, Eukanuba, Purina and any other brand of animal food you use, are for canines and felines, not humans.
• If you choose to use training and/or shock collars, please, PLEASE read the instructions! On a personal level I am not into electric play, but it is out there. So please, be careful and safe.
• If you put your pup slave into a kennel, please keep in mind that they are very cramped. You do not want your pup slave to be damaged from being in that position for long periods of time.
• If the submissive has had their ability to move and speak restricted it is incredibly important that some form of communication is available to them so that they may communicate if something has happened and/or gone wrong, both physically and emotionally.
• Also, in my opinion having a human pet can add some responsibility to the Dom because when some of the submissive’s humanity is taken away and especially if their communication is restricted, the Dominant must that much more aware of the submissive’s frame of mind.

So that’s a very basic overview of pet play. It can get a lot more specific if one looks at each relationship and the animal(s) involved. A note though; pet play sometimes can be sexual, and sometimes can be completely non-sexual. It, as with everything else, simply depends on the couple involved. Please keep in mind that I am in no way speaking of bestiality. This is two or more human beings acting and role playing within the confines of their negotiated relationship.

Most importantly: Have fun and ask questions if you need or want to!!

In my opinion, pet play can deepen submission, but only if it’s right for you.

Skylerpet is a 24/7 submissive pup in her late 20’s. She has been into pet play since she discovered the D/s lifestyle and can be reached at: requiemskye@yahoo.com for emails and also YIM chat.

photo by photognome

Identifying Fake Dominants and Posers

This week’s video tip is on Red Flags of Fake Dominants.

The question I was asked today is, “How do you identify fake Dominants and what are some red flags to be watchful of?”

First, what is a fake Dominant? A fake Dominant is someone who is just out for sex, fantasy and an easy lay. Fake Dominants may also be predators. Most of the time you will be dealing with the fakers, so that’s what this video is all about.

We now have online and real time versions of Dominants. I’m going to blend the two, because with this day and age it is likely that you meet someone online and move to real life.

The most obvious fake Dominant will only want to skip to the sex. They may start their conversation out sweetly enough, but it will soon become sexual oriented. Cyber sex may be suggested or you will be pushed to play on the first date or well before you’d be ready to. They don’t get to know you for who you are first. These are the booty chasers.

There are the Dominants that exaggerate their experience level. I personally don’t care what someone says but unless they can prove it a 25 year old dominant does not have 10 years of experience unless they are counting masturbation fantasies. You can’t judge experience by a number. I can say I have 5 years experience, but if part of that I was ‘on a break’ or not in a relationship, that’s not experience.

Fake Dominants will also try to Dom you without a relationship being present. This could be dictating what you are to wear for first meetings, when you are to be available online to chat, etc. Setting up rules and trying to make you do them before it is agreed upon is a huge red flag.

Some Dominants I’ve been introduced to online say they have a lot of references and can list names, but when I ask for phone numbers or email addresses, they appear to not have them. References are meant to be useful. If they can’t give you contact information so that you can check them out, that’s a huge red flag. Honest Dominants will not only give them to you, but be happy that you check them out.

Fake Dominants may also try to get you to not meet them in public. Oh, just come to the house we can get to know each other in private then. Yeah, right. Don’t meet anyone you don’t know in a private location! Set up your safe call, if the Dominant refuses to let you check in, leave immediately!

Another red flag to be cautious of is if they want to get to know you, you are on good terms and they won’t share their phone number, where they live, etc but they expect you to. Also, if you are only able to call between narrow time frames. This is a red flag of not only fake Dominants but also cheaters! Another clue of cheaters is disappearing online without warning and doing it frequently. I call this wife-watch. They bail so that the wifey doesn’t see what they are doing.

The last one I’m going to cover today is a Dominant requesting or forcing you to change something before you’ve agreed to a relationship. This could be along the lines of changing your hair because they don’t like it, losing weight, or breaking up with friends because they are ‘bad influences’. No one should make you change. A good Dominant will like you for who you are when getting to know you. There is no reason you should try to fit someone’s mold.

Fake Dominants are everywhere and have many tricks up their sleeve. I’m sure I’ve even scratched the surface of what things they can do to try to get you to believe in them and open up. Stay safe, use your common sense and if it feels wrong it probably is.

Do you have red flags that I missed here? Please add them to the comments!

Learning to Apply Makeup

Some relationships and Dominants require their submissives to wear a certain level of make up. My Master requires that I wear makeup before leaving the house. Others I know like fake nails, or nice manicures, pedicures and fancy make up.

There are a lot of tips out there on how to apply makeup so that it looks clean, fresh and natural looking to strong, loud and fancy. Looking your best for your partner can be an integral part of taking care of yourself. Here are a list of some of the best places to find tutorials and tips for making up your face.

Please feel free to share your own tips and tricks in the comments, they could wind up in another post next week for shared readers tips!

Beauty-Basics.net

Free Makeup Tips

Woman Beauty Tips

Allure Backstage Makeup

Makeup Tip.com

Makeup Tips.org

Video Search for Makeup Tips

Wild about Makeup

Beauty Tips

Do you have any tried and true makeup tips to share?

photo by annia316

10 Helpful Websites for the Busy Submissive

Sometimes you just need that extra bit of help out of your day or want to have all the tips and tricks on a certain activity. Well I have pulled together some of the best websites out there that will help you get though your difficult day in a breeze.

1. TipNut.com – This site has all the household tips, craft projects, recipes, kitchen & cooking tips and other neat-o hints that you could ever want when it comes to organizing your home. I’ve just recently come to find this site, and have fallen in love.

2. Lifehacker.com – Full of downloads and tips that you can use to make your life easier. I’ve found a lot of one-click applications that speed up my website work and browsing.

3. The Fresh Loaf – This site contains featured recipes, lessons, book reviews, a community forum and recipe exchange, and baker blogs. So please take some time to look around. It’s made with the amateur in mind.

4. Chore Buster – Organize your chores and household plans and have the calendar emailed to you (or each person gets their own list emailed) weekly or monthly as reminder on what to do. You can split the chores among family members and set the difficulty of chores so that your 6 year old doesn’t get something they aren’t capable of doing!

5. The Dollar Stretcher – Learning how to be frugal and save money in this tight economy! Excellent tips and ideas to keep your money where it belongs. In your pocket.

6. FlyLady.net – This is the first stop for any submissive wanting to organize your life. She’s an online coach to a tidy home and trust me, it works! I made my household binder based on her ideas and I enjoy adding to it every week.

7. Recipezaar – A recipe index with thousands of recipes, the ability to save recipes in your own cookbook for bookmarking purposes and submit your own recipes. I love the quantity adjustment feature so that I can increase and decrease the number or servings without calculation errors!

8. Moms Buzz – Mom’s Buzz keeps you in the loop with useful beauty tips, fun and easy recipes, awesome activities for kids (even the grownup ones) – and a hefty dose of humor to make you smile!

9. To Done! – A regularly updated collection of thoughts, writings, tips, tricks and information on personal productivity, work/life balance and getting things done.

10. Google Calendar – Google’s calendar allows you to make your schedule, receive reminders and alerts, share calendars with other Google users and view it from anywhere with an internet connection. You can even send out invites for parties and other things. It’s great for bills, birthdays and other special events as well as everyday tasks and chores.

Well, that’s a starting list, but I know you all have excellent websites you love to use and would recommend to anyone struggling to find time in their day for everything. What websites do you like?

Review: Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns

If you’ve been around the BDSM and D/s scene at all there is one of many books that always comes up in conversation as a good book to read when you are new to the whole lifestyle. This book is Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Philip Miller and Molly Devon. It comes as recommended reading for anyone curious about BDSM and want a primer for what SM is all about. This was the first book I purchased when I as first learning and is still the go to guide for helping me explain to novices certain aspects of safety, and loving play that I may not have the right words for.

This book is written in the male Dominant / female submissive interactions, but it’s easily translatable into valuable advice for any relationship configuration.  “Screw the Roses enthusiastically covers all the basics and even some of the not-so-basics–bondage, negotiation, sex, endorphins, dominance and submission, toys, safety, S/M community, and beyond.” –Cheryl Trooskin

The first few chapters are dedicated to introducing the basics, safety and recognizing abuse in BDSM relationships. The information is provided in  a clear and concise manner that even the most novice of users can understand and get on board with. The book ascribes to Safe, Sane and Conensual form of safety which I also recommend for new explorers into BDSM. It’s a great help for further into the book that these terms are defined so that understanding comes easier.

Once the basics are down the Philip and Molly take you into relationships. How to find a partner, exploring the roles and basic etiquette are the bulk of these chapters. I love that etiquette is covered as so many seem to forget their manners once they enter into a kinky relationship. Lewd is rude, no matter the situation. You can pick up information on negotiation and setting limits. There is also an interesting chart for the different roles.

The bulk of the book is dedicated to teaching safe basic technique. You can pick up information on bondage and other forms of play with detailed explanations. There is also a few chapters on flogging and impact play for those looking to dive right into the fun stuff. This area is not only good for the novice, but an experienced player could pick up a few tips and tricks. This is definitely a book that should be in every BDSM library.

Near the end the authors cover endorphins and subpace as well as the psychological effects of play.Mindfucks, forced exhibitionism, verbal abuse, and public play are not for everyone and play that involves a person’s mind and emotions can be dangerous and should be explored slowly and consensually.

No primer would be complete without a glimpse into the dungeon equipment and tools that are used during a kinky encounter. There is also an appendix to stores, support groups and communities that can help the newcomer step out into the world. The photos are a nice touch and help to display what Philip and Molly are talking about throughout the book.  It has an excellent table of contents to find things quickly and a useful appendix for things to help anyone get started.

All in all, there is no wonder why so many people recommend this book as one of the first books for someone just starting out in BDSM. It has everything you could wish for in a complete overview of BDSM book.

Product Details

• Paperback: 277 pages
• Publisher: Mystic Rose Books; 1st ed edition (July 1, 1988)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0964596008
• luna’s Rating: 9/10

Buy Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism

Simply Service

A once-a-month newsletter/e-zine written for service oriented people, by service oriented people in M/s, D/s or Leather relationships.

Current contributors are all slave or submissive identified, and in real time relationships where obedience and service are necessary, valued skills, achieved over time. I have been fortunate enough to meet these lovely people all over the country, and have delighted in great conversations, where we sometimes agree, and sometimes disagree, but are bound by a mutual respect of each other’s choices. Occasionally, words from the “other side” might be included as well, as many perspectives will be represented.

Many current contributors are active in their own local leather communities, as well as maintaining relationships, homes, jobs and more. We know it can be a balancing act. We know it isn’t pretty all the time. We’ll be sharing our stories, tricks, tips, lessons learned (easy and hard), mistakes, and human foibles.

Every possible relationship combination will be represented, as this is about service, and can transcend gender and role orientations. Contributors are encouraged to write about issues they are currently facing, and as such each issue may go in a number of directions. The thought of “theming” issues has arisen, and is on hold at this time to allow for freedom of expression and creativity as this project finds a niche of its own. Philosophy, skill training, methods, and more may be examined.

Simply Service Groups on the Web

Yahoo Group: Simply Service
FetLife Group: Simply Service

Contributions will be accepted and reviewed on a per submission basis for addition into a future issue. Please include a bio, and any references you have and send submissions to msolympusleather2003@cox.net.

To view these newsletters you must have the free Adobe Reader or another PDF reader.  Here’s where you can get it! Download Adobe Reader

Archives

Holiday 2008 Download Now!	The Matriarch of Merriment by Sazmira Holiday Tips and Ideas by Danae Holiday Traditions by Whipmaster Bob Clark The Great Christmas Tree Adventure by BootPig Gift Wrap Like a PorkChop by PorkChop Making Croissants for the Holidays by Wildfluers Also Tons of Holiday Recipe Cards!

Unconventional Service by Dusk Peterson Making House Guests Comfortable and Welcome by Danae Carson Not Trustworthy, Risk Worthy SWJ2 Media Release	August 2008 Download Now!

June 2008 Download Now!	Rolling with the Punches by Joy C. On Pigs by Whipmaster Bob Clark Working Backwards by kate maripose

Is Slavery Real? by Darren Productivity Tools Training Outside of the Box by Bootpig porkchops Rules of Bedding: Inside Info from a Retail Whore	May 2008 Download Now!

November 2006 Download Now!

The Path of Service, a Primer Part 1: The Mental, Physical, and Spiritual Disciplines of Service and Surrender by Mercedes White Socks by Jamie Nemitz Personal Responsibility in BDSM by ZooDirt and Kyphi Community Service by Kassie Nine Fold Path Seminars This Month in NC and GA The Role of Slavery in Modern Society by mair A Dominant’s View of Service by Mermaid Master A Series: The Glorified Bottom by Kathryn_Tact For Pig by BootPig

When You Say Nothing At All – Nonverbal Communication in the Scene by seri My Little Sister Wants a Slave by Mistress Grace Hope’s journal Ritual of the Pipe by izzy Service in Daddy Moments by Sean-Michael Traveling with Master by Elegant Brighten your World? Clean your Windows! by sweetkahi Our Readers Write!	February 2006 Download Now!

November 2005 Download Now!	My Journey by slavedebbie Community Unity by Master Kalan Declutter 101 by Tante Jen Metamorphosis by slave a Naturally Polyamourous by Mistress Pamela Essay by E Missy Hall Intimate Partner Abuse in the BDSM Lifestyle by sequi

Ledgerbook Service by Jezzie, property of Anton Eulogy for O by slave a Pantheon of Leather Nominations From the Editor and Letters Humidity and Leather Toys – Flirting with Danger by Elegant Time Management by Mistress Grace Politely Encouraging Departure or “Go Home, Please” by sazmira Reader’s Write! August Responses and September’s Question Are you Experienced? by Kassie Humility by sweetkahi	September 2005 Download Now

August 2005 Download Now!	Grace in Service by Linda ‘BootPig’ Hall Being Transparent for Daddy by slaveboi carlie Aromatherapy Uses in Service by Tante Jen Working with Speech Protocols by slave a Rule of St Benedict Notes for use in Master/slave or service relationships by slave jean Our Readers Write! Consideration 101 by sazmira

Service does not always mean Serious by morgana From the Editor and GWNN Bash Announcement Southwest Leather Conference Announcement – Looking for PR reps Luxury in the Bath with Tante Jen Aftercare starts with Negotiations by Lady Wyllo hope’s Journal The Pitfalls of Excellence by slave a A Life without Rules by Tante Jen	July 2005 Download Now!

June 2005 Download Now!

The Reality of Reliance by ZD, one of our rare offerings from the Top perspective Hiding in Plain Sight by wonderwoman. Balancing your service relationship with functioning the real world. Children, jobs, and more Psycho-Hostess: Tamed? slave jean Are you a Psycho-Hostess? A humorous, but real, look at how obsessive the service-minded can be, and how to reel that in and make it graceful. Deconstruction of Bootblacking by Steven Hagen, 2005 Southwest Bootblack and IMBB First Runner-Up 2005 hope

Ritualizing the Ordinary by slave jean Discovering Leather Care as Service by Sean Michael Part II of the The Write Stuff: Written Communication in Service by morgana Part II of the Mental Orgasm: The Phenomenon of Brain Sex series by Wyllo Hand Signals as a tool of communication by BootPig	May 2005 Download Now!

April 2005 Download Now!	slave a is back with an introspective look at Presumption in Service From the Editor The Art of the Interview

From the Editor –Linda Service Oriented and Protocols If He told you to jump off a bridge… Submission from Strength New Studies Show Diamonds Cause Irritation in Slaves Working Outside the Home A Feminist Perspective of BDSM Ritual Routine Recommitment Head space, slave space, sub space and other places we travel	March 2005 Download Now!

February 2005 Download Now!	Living Authentically Serving While Sick A is for Alpha The Symbology of Ritual Earned Respect of Proper Manners Bed Linens Primer

Welcome from Linda ‘Bootpig’ Hall Catherine Gross. Servants Retreat 2005 How does your service rank? Using the hospitality industry as a reference. Obedience. A slave examines the development of obedience. The Basics of Resistance Management The differences between submissives and slaves. Is one deeper than the other or are they just different?? Master/slave is not another form of marriage Beginning to serve tea

January 2005 Download Now!