The Wife vs The Slave

This is a guest post by Jim’s {Beth}.

Alternative lifestyles make some people nervous. Others believe that anyone who lives such a lifestyle must be sick, crazy, unbalanced, twisted, perverted, or even masochistic. Living a lifestyle choice such as Dominance/submission (D/s), Master/slave (M/s)—both can be considered as All or Total Power Exchange relationships (APE/TPE)— is not that different from marriage, yet society looks at them very differently. D/s or M/s are perversions. Marriage is a sacred institution. I am reminded of a quote from Larry Townsend: “ Perversion, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.”

Everyone knows the ‘rules’ of Marriage. A M/s relationship is similar though the ‘rules’ are much stricter. When a slave meets the man she feels is her Master, she submits to him. She submits completely, she has no will of her own. She lives at her Master’s whim. Everything she does, from the basics of eating and sleeping to schooling, work or a career is at his discretion. A slave lives for one thing, to please her Master, which is her first priority. All other needs come secondary to that.

There are fundamental differences between a wife and a slave. As a wife, a woman enjoys certain rights. Some of those rights are her ability to make decisions without obligatory concern of what her husband might think or feel. She does not necessarily worry about how her decision might reflect upon his desires or the effect her actions may have upon the relationship. Slaves only make decisions when permitted. However, the difference is the slave always thinks of the repercussions of any decision. Wives on the other hand do not have to think ahead to what the repercussions may be; they just deal with it when or if it occurs.

Many M/s relationships mirror the marriages of the eras before 1960, and those that are often the strongest in today’s society are the ‘throw-backs’ to that way of life. In those marriages, the wife did and does think first, about what the consequences will be. Even the Bible states a wife should be subservient to her husband, that her husband is “Her Lord and Master”. If the roles in today’s relationships were as clearly defined as they were in marriages before the sexual revolution of the 60’s and the value systems in M/s relationships that carry through to today, there could possibly be less divorce in this country. Marriages would have a strong foundation and value structure ensuring, commitment, trust and longevity.

A slave always thinks first about what the consequences of her actions will be. A slave is her Masters property, with that submits to him, and surrenders to her Masters will and rule, absolute and unconditional. Everything she says or does is a reflection upon him. The slave has no rights. The Master has the rule and responsibility. A slave’s only purpose is to serve and please her Master. The Master may do with his slave and property as he wishes.

In today’s atmosphere, having an overtly submissive wife is not considered ‘politically correct’. It is thought of by many as abuse to encourage submission in a partner. However, in many societies outside of this country, it is still very much the ‘norm’ to have such a marriage. In this country, before the 60′s and 70′s, wives behaved much as a slave does in our world today. The husband was ‘King of the castle’, and to flout that authority was so looked down upon, that the community as a whole tended to promote submission in women. I mean that women tended to help each other learn to submit, teaching to new wives what their ‘duties’ were during the day as their husbands worked. Many wives learned at the feet of their mothers, aunts, and grandmothers what submitting to the head of the house meant, and accepted that as how things ‘should be’.

After the sexual revolution of the 60′s and 70′s, wives came to believe that to behave that way somehow made them ‘less’ in the eyes of society and changed the way they acted.

So, what happened? Society, through advertising, literature, and the rise of the woman’s movement, seemed to tell women that it was wrong to

be submissive, or that to be submissive was weak. That it is somehow abusive to give over that authority willingly, that they should fight to be in control.

The slave, like the wife, enters into the relationship consensually, but cannot leave it as easily as a wife can leave should abuse occur. Abuse happens more and more often in marriages today, still society looks at it differently. Most consider anyone living a M/s lifestyle a victim, or an abuser. Abuse can occur in M/s relationships, as with anywhere, there are people who take advantage of others they see as weak. Many slaves can tell horror stories of meeting numerous predators before being able to establish an acceptable healthy M/s relationship.

The slave must choose her Master wisely. She must inspect the man and his traits and Mores and or value system in depth. Then she will contemplate if she can indeed give her total submission and unconditional surrender to this Man, and serve him to the best of her ability within the perimeters set by the Master. It is the Master’s character, and value system that are most important, not the detailed service requirements, as they might change at the Masters will, at any time. Very few wives have such strict perimeters in their relationship with their husbands and do not have to contemplate these issues in such detail before marriage if at all. Could this perhaps be another reason domestic abuse is so prevalent in marriages, and divorce rates are so high?

The only recourse that a slave has once she has committed herself to her Master as his slave and property is to ask or beg her Master for release.

“There are, of course, exceptions to the rule. If a Master continually does “harm” to his slaves in a way, such as with substance abuse, or mental illness, this might indeed constitute “abuse”, even within a M/s relationship. The emphasis here must lie on the Master’s intention, or “non intention” for that matter. The slave can and should of course leave should abuse occur.”

Slavery in today’s society is consensual, and slaves living in established M/s relationships are rarely abused. They choose carefully. Perhaps wives today should take a few lessons from their sisters in bondage, rather than look down upon them. Long ago, they were the same. Many wives today seem to have forgotten that.

(Quotes from Slavery by slave David)

Beth met her Master online over 8 years ago, and after moving across the country to live with him in 2003 has worn his collar ever since. Her Master requires living a D/s relationship with the focus on personal development and service. She sees her submission to him as a continual journey of growth and adaptation to his needs. Email any comments to her at: hadespeka@jprdesign.com

Image by yeowatzup

Review: The Surrendered Wife

This month I dived into a book full of controversy with its approach to living intimately with your husband (or partner). I read The Surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle. I didn’t read it to find the reason for the argument between feminists and the author of the book’s ideas. I read it to see what a submissive could gain from its pages.

In this quest I found a part of me that was glaringly obvious as a poor trait in submissives in general and one that I’d have to let go of it I wanted to try anything that was suggested in the best-selling self help book for women seeking intimacy and peace with a man. Master says that I started acting weird when I was reading the book so either he was sensing my shift or I just wasn’t doing it right. Most likely because I was trying to overthink the suggestions in the book.

This book is written, of course, with husband and wife being key, but I think it would work for any gender mix as long as there is a relationship established and the person reading it is ready to make changes.  Reading some of the mixed reviews I can see that a majority of the reviews I read feel that the book solidifies women into very feminine and vulnerable roles that the feminist movement was trying to break the molds of. Unlike other books emphasizing the 1950′s traditions of a man centered household, this book defines the genders and not the tasks they are ‘supposed’ to be performing.

In context to submission, I think that this would be a good starter book for anyone who is coming out of a vanilla relationship or preparing to enter a D/s one when they haven’t been in one before. The Surrendered Wife will help you recognize and correct habits that may have been comfortable in your previous relationships but won’t work for a D/s style one.

The book is great in it’s ability to recognize inappropriate control situations and the ideas of how to release that control are spot on. The steps to surrendering that she explains are being respectful, receiving graciously, relinquishing control, being open for sex, expressing gratitude and practicing good self-care. I especially like how she recommends we say, “ouch’ when your partner says something to hurt you instead of taking the bait and biting them back.

Not all of the suggestions would work towards a D/s relationship, but as with everything you read it’s best to take what you can and leave the rest. A book can only be as good as what you get out of it, so for that reason I’d have to give it a relatively low rating in comparison to D/s oriented books as far as helpfulness is concerned.

However, if you are like me, and had a vanilla relationship (in my case a 5 year marriage) it might help to reaffirm your femininity and find that surrendered self that very well could be the key to opening your heart to the submission you wish to give to someone else.

Product Details

• luna’s Rating: 6/10
• Paperback: 285 pages
• Publisher: Fireside (January 8, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0743204441
• ISBN-13: 978-0743204446

Interested in seeing for yourself? Buy The Surrendered Wife from Amazon.com for under $11! (Price at time of post)

Chat Night Transcript From What is Service Talk

lunaKM> So, first I’d like to get some impression about how new you are to submission. Could you please tell me how long you have been exploring submission and if you are in a relationship right now?

lunaKM> hello aquamuse

aquamuse> Hello, I’m new of course.

eagerslut> I am in a relationship and just recently discovered I am submissive and asked my master to teach me. Previously he had other subs

selene1123> i am currently in a 24/7 m/s relationship…have been exploring submission for about 6 months

aquamuse> I am in my first positive and healthy D/s relationship now with a man who is just discovering how much he likes it when I do what he asks.

aquamuse> about 6 months.

eagerslut> We always have had a sexual d/s relationship but 2 wks ago i discovered I wanted a 24/7

pleasure> i am in a 24/7 D/s relationship for over 6 years now…..i am 53 and in the lifestyle 6 1/2 years

bc26_2> i have only been doing this since march of this year and i am in a D/s relationship for that same amount of time

lunaKM> I’ve been living 24/7 for 5 years, just so you know ;)

pleasure> smiles

eagerslut> :O:

lunaKM> Ok, so we have a range of experience levels. thank you so much for sharing with me.

pleasure> it’s an ever evolving lifestyle and growth, no matter how long one has been in it

eagerslut> That is what I believe

lunaKM> Now, what do you think service is to you? No answer is wrong.

selene1123> To me, service is anything i physically do for Master’s purpose or enjoyment

aquamuse> I’m going to venture here and say service is being totally available, open and willing to comply. This assumes my basic needs are taken care of and put to the side for the time being.

eagerslut> Doing something for someone that would make them happy,even if you don’t feel like doing it. Giving your heart and soul to please that person

pleasure> nick/pleasure…….service/submission..is all the same to me…what ever makes my Sir life easier, happier…and i might add that i am actually more a slave

lunaKM> I’ve always believed that service is a part of my submission and what I give to my Master on a daily basis. Service is, to me, the activities that help the house run, our life be enjoyable and the basic needs met.

pleasure> yes exactly luna

eagerslut> That is very true

lunaKM> But I had someone explain to me yesterday on my recent post that they believe service is separate from submission

lunaKM> and I really like that explanation she gave too.

bc26_2> i agree with service being anything that makes the house run and enjoyable…even when my Mistress is not here

selene1123> i see service as the physical representation of my emotion submission

selene1123> *emotional

aquamuse> I like that selene1123

lunaKM> I’m going to quote it here… CarrieAnn said: To me, service and submission are different. Service is something I do because I’m required to or even want to but doesn’t necessarily require that I submit to anything or anyone. I can not have a submissive bone in my body and still serve. Submission is more direct; surrender to his will, submission to his dominance. The two often merge but are not always one and the same.
eagerslut> I like that too

bc26_2> oh i like that too

pleasure> yes i like that

eagerslut> I can see that point

lunaKM> So as you can see for some of us they are the same thing, but for others they are separate

lunaKM> Perhaps that is why I see people identify as service submissives?

eagerslut> As is everything in life we are all different and we interpret things differently,from our own background

eagerslut> I like that term

bc26_2> i feel that i am in service to many — myself, my Mistress, my daughter at some level…but i submit to only my Mistress

lunaKM> If we can agree that service is likely to be activities and not emotional in nature then perhaps we can come up with a list of things that are service?

aquamuse> I can agree with the definition.

eagerslut> I am a nurse so I feel I service others on a daily basis but I submit to my MAster .

bc26_2> i agree

lunaKM> alright so is my daily coffee preparation for my Master service or submission?

lunaKM> How about the daily chores?

pleasure> i am a nurse too,as like eager, i only submit to my Sir

eagerslut> C

selene1123> i would consider daily tasks or chores service

aquamuse> by definiton – these are examples of serice.

eagerslut> keeping the house clean

selene1123> but why you do it and how you do it is an aspect of submission

eagerslut> making sure my Masters children are taken care of

pleasure> laundry, making the bed..keeping the house clean is all service…

* lunaKM nods

lunaKM> Is sex a form of service?

eagerslut> BAking.massages,listening

aquamuse> baby making?

pleasure> my Sir has set in rules for a clean house

pleasure> yes i believe that would be a service aqua

selene1123> sex to me is a form of service

pleasure> i agree selene

eagerslut> Yes I think sex is a form of service,but I love it so much it definitely isn’t a chore

pleasure> no chore here either lol

aquamuse> hehe

lunaKM> Are all things service related as chores though?

pleasure> service doesn’t have to be something enjoyed

lunaKM> I’d think that there are some things you do that you enjoy just as much as sex as service.

aquamuse> I have things like workouts and keeping a calendar updated – are these service by our definition?

pleasure> no i don’t think all things service related are chores

eagerslut> I hate to cook but I do it because my Master loves it when I do. He generally does most of the cooking but I know he is very pleased when I do

lunaKM> I believe so aqua

selene1123> service itself is enjoyable to me…even if the act i am performing may not be

lunaKM> For me that’s hard to get in touch with selene1123. I’m quite expressive in my face and even if I try not to show my displeasure at a task he tends to figure it out.

bc26_2> i agree with you selene

pleasure> yes but you are still serving luna

aquamuse> me too selene1123

lunaKM> heh, I hear that a lot from him also :P

eagerslut> I do also

lunaKM> Next thought…. do all submissives serve and do all that serve submit?

pleasure> no

eagerslut> No

aquamuse> no

bc26_2> no

lunaKM> In what way can we describe the separation?

pleasure> it’s clearly upon each individual and the circumstances of the relationship

eagerslut> I think they are interchangable

pleasure> i don’t think there is line to divide the two….they do intertwine at times for many of us

selene1123> some may serve out of necessity or arrangement (like a stay-at-home mother or father) but that doesn’t mean they are submitting

pleasure> very true

eagerslut> Yes I agree

pleasure> to submit for me is doing something i detest….and yet serving

pleasure> does that make sense ?

lunaKM> Why do you think service is held in such a high place when Dominants talk about what they would like in a partner?

lunaKM> It does pleasure.

eagerslut> I think serving is a task you can do for anyone and submission is giving your being over to your Master.

eagerslut> To establish routines

pleasure> first of all….Dominates…are predominately Male….and have different ideas and thoughts as to what serving is…it’s what and how They define it

aquamuse> I know my Lover simply enjoys the idea that I obey him in simple requests. I think the power of that has suprised him.

eagerslut> To esatblish who is in control

selene1123> i agree with eagerslut – to emphasize who has the reins in the relationship

aquamuse> I agree too with eagerslut

lunaKM> I think that since service is what they can see immediately as a result of their dominance that they tend to place that a bit higher in importance

lunaKM> submission may not be immediate, but you can serve

eagerslut> Yes how true

pleasure> yes

aquamuse> that idea works for me luna.

selene1123> i can see that

pleasure> there are those that identify as bottoms..they serve..but don’t submit

lunaKM> So is the desire to serve natural or something learned?

eagerslut> Both

aquamuse> for me it seems to be natural.

pleasure> one can only answer for themselves….for me it natural…and yet i feel it can be learned

eagerslut> Some come by it naturally but anyone can learn to serve if they desire

lunaKM> it’s completely learned for me. and it’s not coming easy, that’s for sure

bc26_2> it depends – it is natural for me

aquamuse> I read your bio today.

lunaKM> which one aquamuse?

selene1123> yes, it depends on the person…i’ve always felt the need to serve, though i never really had an outlet before Master

eagerslut> I am a mixture. I have some inherent ability to serve but I can be very selfish at times

aquamuse> Luna.

lunaKM> Oh I meant which site did you read it on

eagerslut> I agree with selene

pleasure> i am a nurse..to serve is natural….

aquamuse> Yours Luna, you mentioned that the whole submissive thing was contrary to your persona? I hope I got that right?

lunaKM> yeah, I’ve had to do some rewiring. It goes opposite to how I was raised.

lunaKM> I get the greatest thrill though when I do something in full submission mode though.

aquamuse> on the Submissive Guide

lunaKM> Which is probably why I’ve stuck with it.

eagerslut> i always thought taht being liberated and independent I couldn’t be submissive but I have found that since I have given myself over to it I am more liberated

lunaKM> There were a good 6 months I considered going Domme. ;)

pleasure> i lived in a marriage of 23 yrs, and didn’t realize till after my divorce that he was controlling..not Dominate ..there is a difference..and to the way one submits to each

bc26_2> can you describe what you mean by full submission mode

aquamuse> * smiles*

pleasure> you are free now to be who you really are inside

eagerslut> Yes controlling is different My first husband was a controller

selene1123> i agree eagerslut…Master likes to make fun of the fact that i am a feminist submissive

lunaKM> full submission mode for me is when I’m given a task and as I’m performing it, no matter what that is, I feel a peace, like all the pieces fit just right, a perfection at my choices in life.

lunaKM> I’d like to attain that as permanently as possible, but right now it’s just fits and starts.

eagerslut> You explained that beautifully

eagerslut> I will strive for that

bc26_2> nice

lunaKM> I get like a buzzing in my head almost when I get there, and my heart swells in my chest. It’s grand.

aquamuse> I wan’t that too.

pleasure> good way to explain it luna……for myself, luna, i call that “focus”

lunaKM> yeah, it is a focus, sure!

selene1123> to me, it’s a moment of perfect connection with Master

pleasure> smiles

eagerslut> :)

lunaKM> Do any of you provide any unique service to your Dominant?

eagerslut> I remodeled his home,laid tile

pleasure> well….grins ..everything from toweling Him dry after a shower..to tying of His shoes

bc26_2> wow – you go

eagerslut> Had to go to Home depot to learn that

pleasure> Dom Depot lol

eagerslut> ;)

lunaKM> Master loans me out to the BDSM communities around us when calls for volunteers are needed for events. I’ve folded pamphlets to checking people in at the door and serving as hostess.

lunaKM> He’s not as … outgoing as I am… so he says I go in his place :P

selene1123> i act as His personal assistant…He hates writing, remembering appts, anything like that so i kinda “manage” things for Him

lunaKM> I am also Master’s chauffeur. He never drives

eagerslut> I get him out of the house to exercise he hates to get going but enjoys it once he does

eagerslut> Mine hates to drive also

* lunaKM chuckles I wish I could do that for my Owner. He just says watching me is enough workout.

pleasure> we mentor others in the lifestyle..and i have given classes as other Doms request Their subs/slaves need training in areas of service that the Dom is not able to do

pleasure> (at)

lunaKM> I suppose Submissive Guide is a service I provide too

pleasure> oh yes luna !! smiles

eagerslut> Yes it helps me

pleasure> a service to all that reads it

aquamuse> Good service!

selene1123> very informative for the new slave!

bc26_2>  agreed

pleasure> being in the lifestyle for over 6 years now, but i am still a child learning my way

lunaKM> Like eagerslut said, she had to learn something in order to serve in a way or another. What have you went out to learn so that you could serve better?

pleasure> i took geisha classes ! lol

eagerslut> I love to learn and feel like I would wither away if I am not learning

lunaKM> what are geisha classes like?

pleasure> learn grace, pose …..

eagerslut> Oh I would love to do a geisha class

bc26_2> i am putting together a list for my Mistress now on things I need to learn

aquamuse> I learned the theory’s of lifting weights and started workout out.

lunaKM> oh lordy, Master would so have me in a grace and poise class in a

heartbeat.

bc26_2> lol

pleasure> it was fantastic….a part of me woke up, literally…..seeing His eyes the first time i walked in the room with out plunking down on the floor at His feet lol

eagerslut> I love the grace of a geisha. my Master lived in Okinawa and he is into that

selene1123> Master has discussed sending me to geisha classes, but the closest ones are almost 6 hours away :(

eagerslut> :(

lunaKM> awesome I doubt there are any around me, but I’m sure I can find some reference materials online ;)

aquamuse> I read that book about Gehsha. Loved it!

pleasure> google it selene…there are online sites that have wonderful tips, ect

eagerslut> I’ll do that also

aquamuse> I believe beauty is a service.

eagerslut> I have been practicing yoga and getting into position gracefully

pleasure> i may be in jeans and t-shirt one day , dirty in garden dust….but i have a feeling..of being sexy…

pleasure> oh yes i agree aqua

selene1123> definitely aqua

eagerslut> I feel sexy when I think of my Master

pleasure> taking pride in your appearance

lunaKM> Alright, anything else you’d like to cover about service?

bc26_2> yes, taking pride in appearance

eagerslut> Appearance is very important

eagerslut> I love shaving and getting ready to see him

eagerslut> He loves for me to wear dresses and heels.The heels are definately a service

selene1123> haha, my Master is the opposite

pleasure> i shave daily, sometimes twice if we are having company, for a teaching session for others ….shaving is a daily service for many subs/slaves

selene1123> i wear dresses and heels all the tim, so He likes me to wear jeans and sneakers

pleasure> your behavior…just as appearance reflects service….and it reflects back to Your Dom/Master

eagerslut> Yes my Master has already informed me of that. To speak succinctly when asked a question and to think before I speak

pleasure> yes and in a quiet tone…..

pleasure> in geisha training, words are not needed

pleasure> it’s your body that speaks for you

pleasure> the way you move….kneeling down to tie His shoe, He knows i have arthritis in both knees..that is service though painful for me

eagerslut> true

lunaKM> Well ladies that is all I have for tonight. I can stay for another half hour to chat so I’m going to open the floor for free chat if anyone would like to stay.

eagerslut> I’m going to have to get a geisha outfit now

bc26_2> thank you very much for the chat luna

eagerslut> That you for your insight luna

aquamuse> Thank you luna.

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Add Your Reading List to Your Training Resume

Since the beginning of Submissive Guide I have been writing essays to help you build your service/submissive/slave resume. This is the living document of your experience and training on different tasks and a variety of relationships. If you are interested in reading the previous posts about the Training Resume I suggest you start at the topic index.

Today we are going to compile a list of the books you have read during your service that are a part of your growth and learning. The importance of this list is not only to show a potential Dominant that you are well read, but that you have a personal desire to work on improving yourself, learning a wide range of viewpoints and opinions and learn about BDSM activities of all sorts.

Gather Your Books

Pull together all the books you’ve read on BDSM, specific service items and other self help resources that you have read completely. These books can be basic relationship self help, etiquette, green cleaning and simple living, How-to books, and so much more. Let your mind explore your entire library and figure out how that could apply to a BDSM service relationship. You might be surprised.

Magazines and Newspapers

Although a bit more rare or pricey, you can find excellent magazines and even newspaper articles that might help you with building a reference library for your service experience and development as a person. Perhaps you have a subscription to a gardening magazine, home repair or fine dining journal. These things can be wonderful resources for your service life. Be creative and look for learning opportunities everywhere you go.

Online Sources

Don’t forget online newsletters and blogs that you are subscribed to! Even SubmissiveGuide.com can be a great resource to list on your reading list if you read it regularly and learn from it. Make note of the posts or articles that you enjoyed the most and the URL if there is one.

General Essay websites are great too, but make sure you keep a list of articles that you have read on each one so that it isn’t assumed that you have read the entire site.

How to Make the List

For books, make a list of the titles, authors, publication dates and a synopsis of the book. Online resources need to have the name of the site, the URL, the date you last accessed it and the site owner with a way to contact them if you can find one. You can also spend time writing personal reviews of the book or essay with what you took from it and made your own.

For example, I just read SlaveCraft and reviewed it on this blog. I can add that book to my service resume in the Reading List area. My entry would look something like this:

SlaveCraft: Roadmaps for Erotic Servitude, principles, skills and tools by a grateful slave with Guy Baldwin, M.S.

Daedalus Publishing Company (April 2002)

The author writes for the submissive or slave who may already have experience and thus understand the skills and tools that will help deepen their surrender. His four principles that he describes in detail are Identity, Obedience, Transparency and Humility. Each one is artfully discussed so that while you may be walking in his world of surrender you can apply them to your own service quite easily.

Making this list now will help you in the future too when you try to remember where you read that fantastic book or essay that you’d like to refer to, or share with a friend. The importance of a list like this can help you in more ways that just your resume.

What else would you list on your reading list? Would it be beneficial to list books and articles that you want to read in the future or have an interest in?

The Many Faces of Submission

Types of submissives come in as many varieties as wines; there is one for every palette and preference. When someone tells you that you are submissive and you finally admit to yourself that you are submissive, which can be a journey itself, you can figure out how your submission differs from another by what type of submissive you are.

What I’m about to lay out for you is not the only way these terms can be described but it is a good measure for the novice and open to your interpretation. No one way to serve is better than another in this list. Remember that not matter where we are on the mountainous journey, the goal is the same. Surrender.

The Bottom

The bottom is the person who in the BDSM lifestyle enjoys receiving sensation. They always wish to be on the receiving end of the flogger or other sensation. The bottom may direct the session before or during the session; the bottom maintains the control. The act of bottoming is not always sexual. The bottom does not release real control to the top rather it is more of a mutual partnership. Some good examples of “The Bottom” are those who are in to the spanking sect of the lifestyle. I have met spankers who will tell you they are not submissive and they don’t have a submissive bone in their body. They are in this for the sexual pleasure of the pain. The bottom is more of a role played rather then a state of mind.

The Bedroom Submissive

The best way to portray this type of submissive is in every facet of life s/he may be vanilla or even Dominant but when the bedroom door shuts the roles drop and s/he submits to the Dominant. The bedroom is where the power exchange happens and stays. This is almost always sexual. In the bedroom the act of submission is complete, however when the bedroom door is open the bedroom submissive returns to the vanilla world or role.

The Psychological Submissive

The physchological submissive begins his or her submission in their mind. This submissive is submissive in and out of the bedroom. They generally have a need to submit or surrender to a Dominant. The act of submission is mental. S/he can give as much or as little as they wish ot or need to give. They then become the responsibility of the Dominant  to determine the direction of the relationship. The surrendering is the power exchange. Once the surrender occurs they can become an empty vessel for the Dominant. Love is not required, as this is a mental and psychological submission.

The Slave Heart Submissive

This submissive wishes to surrender everything without becoming a slave. In comparison with the psychological submissive, a slave heart submissive craves the love of the Dominant they submit to.  The act of submission is full of emotion and love. S/he gives all they have for the return of love and trust from the Dominant they serve.

The Slave

Unlike the submissive, a slave must surrender completely and be in complete control of a Master. The slave must feel completely owned. The slave usually feels like nothing until Masters gives them a slave identity. When Masters is happy the slave is happy. Many slaves I have talked to feel this way. They feel most complete when with Masters. The slave beams when s/he brings Master pleasure. The slave must surrender, and the slave is not happy until s/he has surrendered. The slave feels completed when surrendering to a Master.

I found the following analogy to be quite interesting and so I am going to share it here. I find that it works well in describing submission in terms that novices might connect better with. It comes from The Australian BDSM Information Site.

Submission is like drinking a glass of water

Immediate submissives might have water only when they eat curry. They don’t do it for itself really, they drink it because it makes the curry much better, cleanses the mouth, cuts the fire, makes them able to eat more. They wouldn’t think of drinking water without the curry.

Psychological submissives drink water because they like it. Sure they will drink it with curry, but they’ll drink it with roast beef, they’ll drink it with sandwiches, they’ll drink it without food at all–because they like the taste, the way if flows down the gullet, the cleansing feel.

The slave is someone in a hot climate. They have to drink water. Nothing else does the job. They can try wine or beer or sweet drinks, but when push comes to shove they must have clean water, because the others don’t cure the thirst. They might allay it some but when the heat is very fierce, water is the only solution.

What do you think of this analogy? Are there types of submissives that I missed?

Further Reading

An excellent essay was shared with my on FetLife by MsKestrel. She has written an essay about the paradigm of submission and I wanted to share it with you here. Please feel free to leave comments on her essay.

A Chautauqua: On Submission – State of Surrender

photo by tanitta

The Meaning Of Collars [Poll Results]

Last week I asked you to tell me how important your collar is to you and the meaning of it in your relationship. The poll is now closed and the results are posted below. I got several comments and a few emails telling me that my poll was too vague and didn’t cover all the meanings that there could be. This brings me to the point I wanted to make.

Your collar means only whatever you want it to mean. Some said they consider it as the same importance as their wedding ring; but how important is that? A ring or collar or any other piece of jewelry is only going to have the symbolism and importance that you want it to have. Thus, if you consider your collar more important to you than your wedding band, then it is. No one can say otherwise.

The reason the poll was so vague was to try to encourage people to say that none of the thoughts fit them, and I did get one response to that (thank you).  I’m appreciative to be told that the poll didn’t fit their definition and that it couldn’t be voted on.

My collar is very important to me, but it’s not on the same scale as a wedding ring. Honestly I think I could be happy never getting remarried and be just as fulfilled in life as if I had. For some reason, marriage is the ultimate surrender and union and I believe it has something to do with the faith I was raised in; even if I do not follow that faith now.

If the poll didn’t fit your definition and meaning of the collar you wear or the collar you wish to wear, what does it mean to you?

[poll id="6"]

Review: SlaveCraft

Traveling further into your submission is something that most of us strive for. We want to seek the inner wisdom that will make us the best submissives or slaves we can be. Well I think I’ve found a book that will move your surrender further and deeper than it has before. SlaveCraft: Roadmaps for Erotic Servitude, principles, skills and tools by a grateful slave is a treasure of a read for those a bit further down the path of service than a complete novice.

Written in the form of a series of essays, this book let’s you take of little bits of infomation and digests them in a way that makes them feel personal and inspiring. The way the slave uses metaphors to describe his principles are beyond amazing. I walked away from every essay with new and exciting ideas (some of which have become posts on this blog).

Don’t get me wrong, SlaveCraft is a great book, but not for the novice. The author writes for the submissive or slave who may already have experience and thus understand the skills and tools that will help deepen their surrender. His four principles that he describes in detail are Identity, Obedience, Tranparency and Humility. Each one is artfully discussed so that while you may be walking in his world of surrender you can apply them to your own service quite easily.

If you are a novice you might like the next book that I’m going to review, but for now remember, one day you will be able to touch the deepest surrender with this book.

Product Details

• Paperback: 184 pages
• Publisher: Daedalus Publishing Company (April 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1881943143
• luna’s Rating: 9/10

Buy SlaveCraft: Roadmaps for Erotic Servitude–Principles, Skills and Tools

The Behind the Scenes: A Dominant Character

I’ve been exploring the writing of a Dominant mind lately and thought I’d share with you some of the wonderful musings this man has for learning the Dominant personae. The blog I’ve been exploring is A Dominant Character and is written by Sir J. I’d recommend you drop by and take a look at what a good piece of Dominant blogging looks like. These are rare; rare in the case that the posts are far more than just scene reports and pictures of their submissive. There is introspective look into the working mind of a Dominant. For that, I enjoy the reading.

On a recent post titled The behind the scenes work of being a Dominant he wrote about all the training and research that goes into being a good Dominant, from the reading and practice to the research of human anatomy, first aid training and other aspects of human relationships to preparation of scenes themselves. He puts a lot of thought into the scenes he plays out with his submissive ‘h’. From what I read, he finds ways to make them magical and fulfilling for both parties; something not easily done.

Understanding a Dominant character is a mystery to submissives everywhere. Just as we explore and come to an understanding with our submission, they too have to come to grips with their personality and character as well. Not all Dominants are successful at this, just as not all submissives can really connect with their surrender. Those that do, can talk about it with the comprehension that Sir J uses here.

In previous posts of his you can travel through his mind on fictional movie Dominants (Baron Von Trapp from Sound of Music), entitlement and balance as well as the spell of overwhelming submission and so much more. His character is one of honesty and openness with a bit of anonymity. It is intriguing and wonderful for a Dominant blog and certainly worth keeping tabs of this one.

You can subscribe to his blog via RSS or go to his blog address to follow him on Blogspot.

Do you have a blog that you love to read for its insight into D/s or M/s and would love to hear what I think about it? Send me an email and I will consider it.

Dominance as a Slave Training Tool for Better Submission

When starting out in submission, there are a lot of roads you can choose and so many people direct novices to training and needing to be trained. Most of these novices then seek out a Master or Dominant to train them. This concept that the Dominant can teach the submissive more about surrender is a myth. Dominants only provide submissives with the tools they need to then seek further surrender.

My stand on this a stepping off point from the video post about Slave Training. I said in that post that training was everything that you do for your Dominant when directed to do so in a certain manner. That is partially correct. Yes, in a basic form that is training in a relationship, but it does not work towards a submissive’s ultimate goal of deeper surrender. If you want to deepen your surrender then you need to look inside yourself and learn what it really is to be submissive, find that core of desire within yourself and fan the flames. A Dominant does not know how to do this and can not help you get there. This is your personal journey; the journey inwards.

Think about how many times you’ve thought that your Dominant (or any Dominant) just doesn’t understand where you are coming from, or how hard it is to submit all the time. That’s exactly it. A Dominant can not get in touch with their submissive side, and believe me, everyone has one. If they are in their Dom Hat, tThey can think intellectually about your submission, but they can’t touch on the emotional, passionate side of your submission – the part that drives you to do things with joy and love and fulfillment.

Dominants that may have submitted first in their explorations or switches have a different but similar issue. They may know what it’s like, or what an experience did to them, but they still can’t help you. What they felt or dealt with as far as struggle will be different for them than for you. The advice they may give you is based on how they interacted with the experience. Even if they felt deep in submission during that time, once they put that Dom Hat back on, they can’t get in touch with it. It’s a road block.

What can you do to improve your submission if you can’t be trained in it by your Dominant? Your Dominant is still a valuable tool for slave training and we can use them as a tool for our own development. Take the rules and orders they give us, how do they mold us if we are also seeking a deeper level of submission. Can we make them a learning experience to be able to focus deeper on our own? Most of the time, Dominants allow and encourage submissives to speak to other submissives. There is an intelligent reasoning behind this. You can and do pick up training from other submissives. All the time, I am asked for help and assistance and can only hope that along with the advice they are learning how to figure it out for themselves and internalize it.

You may not actively want a mentor, but each and every submissive you exchange information and knowledge with is mentoring you and you are mentoring them. Even wise and experienced submissives learn from the younger. How do you see your conversations with submissives improving your own submission? If you can’t see it, look harder. And if that doesn’t help you, use this site as an example. You are reading this post, picking up information and many of you will take something away from it and learn. Others will find another article to do the same thing.

I’m just a submissive with an ability to express myself and a desire to help other submissives. I am a tool that a Dominant will want you to come seek out when you need to understand your submission and improve it. So the next time that you hear Slave Training and a Master that says they can train you, I’d ask direct questions as to how they can show you about surrender when they do not submit. It’s not a challenge to Dominance at all for they can train you – just not in your own submission. You have to seek that out; whether within you or from senior submissives.

The Truth About Orgasm Control and Denial

The idea of orgasm control or denial strikes fear in novice submissives. “What do you mean give over my ability to orgasm whenever I want?” Sure you could think of it that way, but in terms of your submission it could mean so much more. Let me start with the basic definitions.

Orgasm Control: When a Dominant takes over the right to a submissive’s orgasms. This can be from not allowing the submissive to come without permission to requiring that all orgasms be given by the Dominant. Many other variations also exist.

Orgasm Denial: This is much like a game to some Dominants. An activity where a submissive is brought to the brink of orgasm and then denied the permission to orgasm. Many times this also means the cessation of contact. It can be done occasionally during play or be a long term modification to that submissive’s rules.

The truth is that not all Dominants enjoy controlling a submissive’s orgasms and it is more likely seen in Female Dominant relationships. I don’t know the reason for this, nor do I have any statistics but only what I’ve seen and read. My Master is more into control than denial. He likes to know when I’m nearing orgasm. It’s  a power and pleasure thing.

An interesting training option for orgasm control is Come on Command training. It’s a form of hypnotic suggestion that can and does work. Then the Dominant totally owns your orgasms because you can’t control them yourself. A trigger word, phrase or touch sets it off.

When it comes to your submission, offering over your sexuality in this way can be very humbling. An orgasm can be a lot of things to people. It can be stress relief, pleasure, connection or even just private time. Giving over your orgasms to someone else to control is part of ultimate surrender.

What are your thoughts on orgasm control? Is it something that is a part of your relationship?

photo by Driving in Heels

Helping Your Partner Become More Dominant

The second question I received for March question month came to me in my email.

I’m a strong person, but something in me was missing…until i admitted what i really am. I’m engaged, i love my boyfriend very much, but I decided to open my heart to him and he’s really doing his best to understand my need to surrender, my need to submit. I don’t take the topic lightly, and nor does he…but after 4 years together, I sometimes think it’s difficult…I don’t want to lose him, and i think he’s really changing. But…how can we “direct” our changings the right way? I’ve always been the strongest one in my relationships. He isn’t weak, but very calm and he has always set me “free”…too much, if i have to say the truth. I hope it makes sense…he’s understanding, we are talking about it a lot…but i need some extra advice. I don’t want to confuse him even more…

The good part from your letter was that your boyfriend is trying. That’s all it takes to begin learning and exploring. Do you talk about how you’d like to be less free? Do discussions happen away from the bedroom activities? The reason I ask is that no matter what advice I give you here you need to share all of your thoughts with your boyfriend.

Changing has to be done at his speed. If he really is changing as you say then you have to be patient and enjoy the ride. To direct your learning, I’d recommend buy a few books about D/s, join a few social forums to start finding talk points. Then get offline and away from the books and talk to each other.

Practice it for short periods, a few hours to a few days. Test the waters with something more intense than you want to do for real and see if you both fall into roles at all. Are you able to let go and is he able to take up the reigns? Make it fun, explore new things and you just might find they way for you.

Do you both have the same idea of what you’d like to try to do? Are you looking to be a service submissive or a sexual submissive? Does he want someone to do all the housework or serve his every need? Find out what each of your wants and needs from each other.

The bottom line is that you can’t make someone change if they aren’t willing to. You can’t make someone something they aren’t. If your partner isn’t dominant or can’t be as dominant that you want then it just isn’t going to happen. You have to be prepared to make that choice.

Anyone else have suggestions for this person?

photo credit TLA8

Real Life vs. Online, the Battle for Understanding

“What one has not experienced, one will never understand in print.” -Isadora Duncan

I began my journey into D/s and BDSM in online chat rooms; namely those on IRC (BDSM-Net and Bondage.com). I knew nothing of what the lifestyle would be for me, only the fantasy that I lived when I got home from class or work; it was a retreat from the everyday hardship that I was living with. I felt the control release and the pleasure of making someone else happy. I loved the creative talent it afforded me in my poetry and writing, the scenes I participated in. It became an art. I fell in love with the fantasy of it. Even when I accepted an online collar I thought that there was no way I could really love this in real. The activities I participated in, the rules I followed, the tasks assigned to me all seemed a part of the fantasy.

I didn’t understand why those that were ‘real’ shunned the way I behaved and looked down on my personae as one that would be trapped in online play for all my life. I didn’t understand what they were talking about when they talked about service and hardship in surrender, about the pleasure of being there for their owner, about serving and the pride in the words, “good girl”. I never understood the reality of what I was playing in.

Until one day I started asking a lot of important questions of myself. I wanted to experience the SM for real. I wanted to be tied up and see what the draw to my pleasure senses was. I wanted to know what it was like to kneel and serve someone. I wanted to hear “good girl” for something I had done. Was it going to remain fantasy? I seriously didn’t know. I thought that maybe it would just lead to kinky sex and I was okay with that also. I really didn’t know what I wanted nor could I have imagined that my life would be as it is now or where it will be in years to come. My surrender was not easy and there are parts of it that I still cling to; a part of my independence that Master is allowing me to hang on to.

I’ve known submissives that can only experience online or long-distance relationships(LDR). I do not shun them as I was shunned. I know the desire and the pull to live it in any form you can. I was lucky, I guess, and left my husband to explore the part of me drawn to BDSM, the service and surrender specifically.  I’ve been able to embrace the relationship I am in and am so very thankful for the role I played online to test the waters.

Online is no substitute and you can’t learn all that there is to know about living this life from essays and forums. You have to experience it to truly know. Every journey is different but I am grateful for my online VT beginnings. Without them I would not have met my Master. Now we live happily together.

But even now I can’t see how to explain how my life is to someone online. I don’t know how to put my service to him in words that someone with no experience or ability to experience would understand. I don’t think words like that really exist.

What do you think? Can you express what it is you do for service to someone who only knows online D/s and have them really understand?

Bookshelf

A good book can help you learn more about yourself and your submission or enhance a skill you have always wanted to learn. Here is a growing list of books to help you on the way. Do you have a suggestion for a book listed here? Please email me at subguide@gmail.com. Thank you.

View Submissive Guide Amazon Store for more selections

Beginning BDSM

• Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Phillip Miller – Review
• SM 101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman
• BDSM Primer by Ralph White
• Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by Gloria Brahme – Review
• Partners in Power: Living in Kinky Relationships by Jack Rinella
• When Someone You Love Is Kinky by Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Lizst

Dominance

• The Art Of Sensual Female Dominance: A Guide for Women by Claudia Varrin
• The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren
• The Sexually Dominant Woman: A Workbook for Nervous Beginners by Lady Green
• The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy
• The Master’s Manual: A Handbook of Erotic Dominance by Jack Rinella

Submission

• Erotic Surrender: The Sensual Joys of Female Submission by Claudia Varrin
• The Compleat Slave: Creating And Living An Erotic Dominant/submissive Lifestyle by Jack Rinella
• Erotic Slavehood: A Miss Abernathy Omnibus by Christina Abernathy
• Becoming a Slave by Jack Rinella
• SlaveCraft: Roadmaps for Erotic Servitude–Principles, Skills and Tools by Guy Baldwin - Review
• The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W Hardy – Review
• The Submissive Activity Book: Building Blocks To Better Service by Shannon Reilly

Ritual and Protocol

• Protocols: Handbook for the female slave by Robert J. Rubel
• Creating A Personal Protocol by Shannon Reilly
• The Bride Wore Black Leather…And He Looked Fabulous!: An Etiquette Guide for the Rest of Us by Drew Campbell
• Protocol Handbook for the Leather Slave: Theory and Practice by Robert J. Rubel
• Manual Creation: Defining the Structure of an M/s Household by Machele Kindle and Master Fire

Master/slave

• Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice (M/s Studies Books) by Robert Rubel
• Master/slave Relations: Solutions 401: Graduate Studies in Meeting Challenges in your Relationship (M/s Series) by Robert Rubel

Leather Culture and History

• Chainmale: 3SM–A Unique View of Leather Culture by Don Bastian

SM and Play

• Consensual Sadomasochism : How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely by William A. Henkin and Sybil Holiday
• Bound to Be Free: The Sm Experience by Charles Moser
• The Compleat Spanker by Lady Green
• Consensual Spanking by Jules Markham
• Flogging by Joseph Bean
• Flogging: The Basics and Beyond (SMTech Educational) by Joseph Bean
• Learning the Ropes: A Basic Guide to Safe and Fun S/m Lovemaking by Race Bannon
• Jay Wiseman’s Erotic Bondage Handbook by Jay Wiseman
• Two Knotty Boys Showing You The Ropes: A Step-by-Step, Illustrated Guide for Tying Sensual and Decorative Rope Bondage by Two Knotty Boys
• Two Knotty Boys Back on the Ropes by Two Knotty Boys

Sex and Sexuality

• American Sex Machines: The Hidden History of Sex at the U.S. Patent Office by Hoag Levins
• Anal Pleasure & Health: A Guide for Men and Women by Jack Morin
• Come Hither: A Commonsense Guide To Kinky Sex by Gloria Brahme
• The Guide to Getting It On, 6th Edition by Psy.D Paul Joannides

Spirituality

• Dark Moon Rising: Pagan BDSM and the Ordeal Path by Raven Kaldera

Crafts and DIY

• Bondage on a Budget by Alison Tyler and Dante Davidson

Simply Service

A once-a-month newsletter/e-zine written for service oriented people, by service oriented people in M/s, D/s or Leather relationships.

About the Editor

Linda “BootPig” Hall is a former Ms. Olympus Leather, President and Secretary of the Phoenix boys of Leather. She teaches on service -related topics, and in conjunction with Whipmaster Bob Clark on SM topics at events all over the country.You can contact her through email at: wmb.bootpig@gmail.com

Current contributors are all slave or submissive identified, and in real time relationships where obedience and service are necessary, valued skills, achieved over time. I have been fortunate enough to meet these lovely people all over the country, and have delighted in great conversations, where we sometimes agree, and sometimes disagree, but are bound by a mutual respect of each other’s choices. Occasionally, words from the “other side” might be included as well, as many perspectives will be represented.

Many current contributors are active in their own local leather communities, as well as maintaining relationships, homes, jobs and more. We know it can be a balancing act. We know it isn’t pretty all the time. We’ll be sharing our stories, tricks, tips, lessons learned (easy and hard), mistakes, and human foibles.

Every possible relationship combination will be represented, as this is about service, and can transcend gender and role orientations. Contributors are encouraged to write about issues they are currently facing, and as such each issue may go in a number of directions. The thought of “theming” issues has arisen, and is on hold at this time to allow for freedom of expression and creativity as this project finds a niche of its own. Philosophy, skill training, methods, and more may be examined.

Simply Service Groups on the Web

Yahoo Group: Simply Service
FetLife Group: Simply Service

Contributions will be accepted and reviewed on a per submission basis for addition into a future issue. Please include a bio, and any references you have and send submissions to msolympusleather2003@cox.net.

To view these newsletters you must have the free Adobe Reader or another PDF reader.  Here’s where you can get it! Download Adobe Reader

Archives

Holiday 2008 Download Now!	The Matriarch of Merriment by Sazmira Holiday Tips and Ideas by Danae Holiday Traditions by Whipmaster Bob Clark The Great Christmas Tree Adventure by BootPig Gift Wrap Like a PorkChop by PorkChop Making Croissants for the Holidays by Wildfluers Also Tons of Holiday Recipe Cards!

Unconventional Service by Dusk Peterson Making House Guests Comfortable and Welcome by Danae Carson Not Trustworthy, Risk Worthy SWJ2 Media Release	August 2008 Download Now!

June 2008 Download Now!	Rolling with the Punches by Joy C. On Pigs by Whipmaster Bob Clark Working Backwards by kate maripose

Is Slavery Real? by Darren Productivity Tools Training Outside of the Box by Bootpig porkchops Rules of Bedding: Inside Info from a Retail Whore	May 2008 Download Now!

November 2006 Download Now!

The Path of Service, a Primer Part 1: The Mental, Physical, and Spiritual Disciplines of Service and Surrender by Mercedes White Socks by Jamie Nemitz Personal Responsibility in BDSM by ZooDirt and Kyphi Community Service by Kassie Nine Fold Path Seminars This Month in NC and GA The Role of Slavery in Modern Society by mair A Dominant’s View of Service by Mermaid Master A Series: The Glorified Bottom by Kathryn_Tact For Pig by BootPig

When You Say Nothing At All – Nonverbal Communication in the Scene by seri My Little Sister Wants a Slave by Mistress Grace Hope’s journal Ritual of the Pipe by izzy Service in Daddy Moments by Sean-Michael Traveling with Master by Elegant Brighten your World? Clean your Windows! by sweetkahi Our Readers Write!	February 2006 Download Now!

November 2005 Download Now!	My Journey by slavedebbie Community Unity by Master Kalan Declutter 101 by Tante Jen Metamorphosis by slave a Naturally Polyamourous by Mistress Pamela Essay by E Missy Hall Intimate Partner Abuse in the BDSM Lifestyle by sequi

Ledgerbook Service by Jezzie, property of Anton Eulogy for O by slave a Pantheon of Leather Nominations From the Editor and Letters Humidity and Leather Toys – Flirting with Danger by Elegant Time Management by Mistress Grace Politely Encouraging Departure or “Go Home, Please” by sazmira Reader’s Write! August Responses and September’s Question Are you Experienced? by Kassie Humility by sweetkahi	September 2005 Download Now

August 2005 Download Now!	Grace in Service by Linda ‘BootPig’ Hall Being Transparent for Daddy by slaveboi carlie Aromatherapy Uses in Service by Tante Jen Working with Speech Protocols by slave a Rule of St Benedict Notes for use in Master/slave or service relationships by slave jean Our Readers Write! Consideration 101 by sazmira

Service does not always mean Serious by morgana From the Editor and GWNN Bash Announcement Southwest Leather Conference Announcement – Looking for PR reps Luxury in the Bath with Tante Jen Aftercare starts with Negotiations by Lady Wyllo hope’s Journal The Pitfalls of Excellence by slave a A Life without Rules by Tante Jen	July 2005 Download Now!

June 2005 Download Now!

The Reality of Reliance by ZD, one of our rare offerings from the Top perspective Hiding in Plain Sight by wonderwoman. Balancing your service relationship with functioning the real world. Children, jobs, and more Psycho-Hostess: Tamed? slave jean Are you a Psycho-Hostess? A humorous, but real, look at how obsessive the service-minded can be, and how to reel that in and make it graceful. Deconstruction of Bootblacking by Steven Hagen, 2005 Southwest Bootblack and IMBB First Runner-Up 2005 hope

Ritualizing the Ordinary by slave jean Discovering Leather Care as Service by Sean Michael Part II of the The Write Stuff: Written Communication in Service by morgana Part II of the Mental Orgasm: The Phenomenon of Brain Sex series by Wyllo Hand Signals as a tool of communication by BootPig	May 2005 Download Now!

April 2005 Download Now!	slave a is back with an introspective look at Presumption in Service From the Editor The Art of the Interview

From the Editor –Linda Service Oriented and Protocols If He told you to jump off a bridge… Submission from Strength New Studies Show Diamonds Cause Irritation in Slaves Working Outside the Home A Feminist Perspective of BDSM Ritual Routine Recommitment Head space, slave space, sub space and other places we travel	March 2005 Download Now!

February 2005 Download Now!	Living Authentically Serving While Sick A is for Alpha The Symbology of Ritual Earned Respect of Proper Manners Bed Linens Primer

Welcome from Linda ‘Bootpig’ Hall Catherine Gross. Servants Retreat 2005 How does your service rank? Using the hospitality industry as a reference. Obedience. A slave examines the development of obedience. The Basics of Resistance Management The differences between submissives and slaves. Is one deeper than the other or are they just different?? Master/slave is not another form of marriage Beginning to serve tea

January 2005 Download Now!