Add Cons, Classes and Events to your Training Resume

Your training resume should be growing in bulk and excellent information if you’ve been following along and developing your sections fully. We are now going to work on your  community exposure section.

What I mean by community exposure are all the classes, extended weekends, get aways and other events you’ve attended in your past that had classes or learning opportunities that you took advantage of. Anything counts really. They don’t have to be BDSM related either. If you went to a convention for management for example you’d have learned something from that class that you could possibly employ into your service.

The value of listing the conventions, retreats and classes you’ve attended can only be weighed against the unknown. Sharing the list of regional or national events you have attended and what classes you went to will not only provide your dominant with information as to what you might be interested in or knowledgeable about but also will be a great collection of information for your own self later on when you sign up for future conventions.

It make come as an obvious point but you should be keeping a travel journal when you attend conventions. This document will keep your memory fresh with what you are learning and seeing. That way when you get home you can update your training resume in your own time. Each class should have the following information:

• Presenter’s name
• Synopsis of the class
• The event it was held at
• Contact information for the presenter if you have it
• What you want to remember/take away from the class
• handouts or other materials from the class

Sure just hearing this information now means that classes you have attended in the past might be scketchy. That’s fine, just start now and get this information added to a new section of your training resume!

photo by createvecommonsjp

Dominance as a Slave Training Tool for Better Submission

When starting out in submission, there are a lot of roads you can choose and so many people direct novices to training and needing to be trained. Most of these novices then seek out a Master or Dominant to train them. This concept that the Dominant can teach the submissive more about surrender is a myth. Dominants only provide submissives with the tools they need to then seek further surrender.

My stand on this a stepping off point from the video post about Slave Training. I said in that post that training was everything that you do for your Dominant when directed to do so in a certain manner. That is partially correct. Yes, in a basic form that is training in a relationship, but it does not work towards a submissive’s ultimate goal of deeper surrender. If you want to deepen your surrender then you need to look inside yourself and learn what it really is to be submissive, find that core of desire within yourself and fan the flames. A Dominant does not know how to do this and can not help you get there. This is your personal journey; the journey inwards.

Think about how many times you’ve thought that your Dominant (or any Dominant) just doesn’t understand where you are coming from, or how hard it is to submit all the time. That’s exactly it. A Dominant can not get in touch with their submissive side, and believe me, everyone has one. If they are in their Dom Hat, tThey can think intellectually about your submission, but they can’t touch on the emotional, passionate side of your submission – the part that drives you to do things with joy and love and fulfillment.

Dominants that may have submitted first in their explorations or switches have a different but similar issue. They may know what it’s like, or what an experience did to them, but they still can’t help you. What they felt or dealt with as far as struggle will be different for them than for you. The advice they may give you is based on how they interacted with the experience. Even if they felt deep in submission during that time, once they put that Dom Hat back on, they can’t get in touch with it. It’s a road block.

What can you do to improve your submission if you can’t be trained in it by your Dominant? Your Dominant is still a valuable tool for slave training and we can use them as a tool for our own development. Take the rules and orders they give us, how do they mold us if we are also seeking a deeper level of submission. Can we make them a learning experience to be able to focus deeper on our own? Most of the time, Dominants allow and encourage submissives to speak to other submissives. There is an intelligent reasoning behind this. You can and do pick up training from other submissives. All the time, I am asked for help and assistance and can only hope that along with the advice they are learning how to figure it out for themselves and internalize it.

You may not actively want a mentor, but each and every submissive you exchange information and knowledge with is mentoring you and you are mentoring them. Even wise and experienced submissives learn from the younger. How do you see your conversations with submissives improving your own submission? If you can’t see it, look harder. And if that doesn’t help you, use this site as an example. You are reading this post, picking up information and many of you will take something away from it and learn. Others will find another article to do the same thing.

I’m just a submissive with an ability to express myself and a desire to help other submissives. I am a tool that a Dominant will want you to come seek out when you need to understand your submission and improve it. So the next time that you hear Slave Training and a Master that says they can train you, I’d ask direct questions as to how they can show you about surrender when they do not submit. It’s not a challenge to Dominance at all for they can train you – just not in your own submission. You have to seek that out; whether within you or from senior submissives.

Why the Word ‘Training’ Confuses Novices

The word ‘training’ is a stumbling block for many novices and experienced submissives alike. The reason for this is that so many define training as the organized learning of behavior and activities in structured sessions or steps and that once complete, your training is complete. Let’s dispel that myth right now. Submissive and slave training is not set up this way. It is far far different.

When you enter into a relationship with a Dominant it is very likely that the word training will come into it in a fashion like this;

1. I will train you to serve me.
2. You will undergo slave training.
3. Have you had any training?

First let’s discuss what the word ‘training’ really means in a D/s dynamic setting. When you undergo training, what is really meant is that you are learning the mannerisms, behavior, attitude and activities that will please that Dominant. You never finish your training. Once you have learned the basics of what they wish from you, you can be sure that there will be advanced technique and finally anticipatory service. That’s right, training you do yourself to make sure you can provide for your Master’s needs before they appear to need them! There are so many levels of training, and that’s the beauty of it. You never stop learning.

If you leave one relationship and enter into another you should be prepared to unlearn some of the training you underwent with a previous Dominant. This is because not all Dominants like the same behaviors. Training is not universal, it is specialized and unique to each relationship. If a Dominant asks if you have been trained they really aren’t looking for a yes or no answer, they want specifics so that they know what they may want to use or to deprogram.

Once we learn with the word ‘training’ really means for us, then we can understand the context for which it is used in a BDSM situation. ~melly had a really good comment on another post here at Submissive Guide about training. Here is an excerpt. I recommend you go read the whole thing!

training isn’t final. it’s never-ending. and if someone tells me (upon contacting me as a domina, which i also am) “i’ve been trained” my first response is, “not to me, you haven’t.” i don’t want ANYONE to come into a relationship with ME thinking that what they learned in a previous relationship makes them more desirable, or that what they learned is even going to be preferable! and i certainly don’t want anyone thinking that prior “training” is required for them to be a perfectly good submissive or serviceperson.

What do you have to say about training? What is training to you?

What Is Slave Training?

In this week’s video tip I talk about what training is to a submissive and the value it has to a D/s relationship.

When someone thinks of slave training, what is the first thing that pops into your mind? Is it a submissive on their knees going through the paces that their Dominant puts them? Is it Gorean-style positions and changes in speech?

What would you say if I told you that training is everything that you do for your Dominant when directed to do so in a certain manner? Take a basic request of making coffee or tea. If you are told the specific way your Dominant takes their coffee or tea and then proceed to do that every time it is requested you are being trained to make his or her coffee or tea. This is training.

The term training can also be used for the time period where you learn the protocol of a new environment. Much like your orientation period at a new job (which is likely also called training), you learn what is acceptable and expected of you during your work hours.

Training can come in all forms. Some Dominants go through steps to teach their submissive proper protocol within the home and the rules of the house. Other Dominants give their submissive rules that they have to learn and then use a punishment and reward system to instill them.

There is a really big hype about training when there doesn’t need to be. Every single behavior change or attitude change is part of your training. I bet that there are things that your Dominant would consider training that you don’t.  Are there actions or activities you do that are now a habit that wasn’t before? Can that be attributed to training?

The important thing to remember with slave training is that is it an agreed upon change or set of changes that the submissive undergoes to improve themselves for their Dominant or themselves. You do not have to be in a relationship to undergo training. You just have to have a desire to better yourself.

As a follow up to this post I wrote “Dominance as a Slave Training Tool to Better Submission.”

Also Available

Simply Service Newsletter May 2008

Inside this edition:

• Is Slavery Real? by Darren
• Productivity Tools
• Training Outside of the Box by Bootpig
• porkchops Rules of Bedding: Inside Info from a Retail Whore

Books That Might Interest You

Erotic Slavehood

Master Nage’s Guide to Training Consensual Slaves

Protocols: Handbook for the female slave