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Articles for tag 'safeword'

Articles

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Submission Isn’t Easy-Nor for Your Convenience

The other day in a submissive’s group I’m in on Facebook, a member made a post about something her dominant wanted her to do, yet she was absolutely 100% against doing and was looking for help on how to get past her unwillingness. There were several comments and there was one in particular that caught [...]

9 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Personal Growth
What Happens After You Use Your Safeword?

What Happens After You Use Your Safeword?

You have a safeword for your BDSM kinky fun. Right? I know there’s a debate in the world of BDSM and D/s between the safeword crew and those who don’t want one. I land firmly on the side of having a safeword – always. It’s rarely used but it’s always there. We could debate the [...]

12 comments Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Play and Sex, Safety
Defining Sub Space

Defining Sub Space

This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Subspace – This term generally is used to describe a moderate to deep trancelike condition experienced by persons in the submissive position in a D/s relationship during interaction with the person in the [...]

1 comment Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Beginner Basics
BDSM Basics – What Your First Date Might Look Like

BDSM Basics – What Your First Date Might Look Like

Welcome back to the next part in the BDSM Basics series. In earlier episodes we figured out if we were kinky, what role we are, how to stay safe and how to find a partner. In this article we’ll talk about what your first date might look like. I’ll cover two different situations for a [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Fundamentals, Video Posts
After “Red” : How to Manage the Aftermath When You’ve Used Your Safeword

After “Red” : How to Manage the Aftermath When You’ve Used Your Safeword

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 11/1/14 Your safeword is your lifeline for play. It is a way to express you’ve reached a limit, whether that is a physical limit or an emotional one. The couples that play with safewords know that there is an often unspoken importance in only using it when it is necessary [...]

Using Your Safeword Is Not a Sign of Failure

Using Your Safeword Is Not a Sign of Failure

When learning about personal safety and BDSM you likely hear the word safeword more than once. A safeword is used as a last resort when you need the play you are engaged in to end. But there’s an unintentional negative stigma surrounding using your safeword that needs to be understood. You are not a failure [...]

2 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics

Understanding Safe Words for Safe Play

The adventures in the bedroom or dungeon are a lot of fun and you can get lost in the intense responses and pleasure during these moments. It is not without it’s own challenge of safety and communication. When the intensity of activities go up it’s not uncommon for tops and bottoms alike to lose the [...]

4 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Play and Sex
The Anatomy of A BDSM Scene: What Happens?

The Anatomy of A BDSM Scene: What Happens?

Your first scene with your Dominant is coming up and so far they’ve been pretty foggy as far as what will happen. You’ve never been involved in BDSM before but you are excited and scared for the upcoming session. What’s going to happen? What will you expect to see and do? A scene is in [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Play and Sex

Chat Night Transcript – Dominant Aftercare

from the Submissive Guide Chat held 7/09/13 on Aftercare for Dominants [20:10] <~lunaKM> Hello and welcome to another chat night here on Submissive Guide. Please feel free to talk about the subject whenever a thought comes to mind, this is not a moderated talk and you do not have to ask permission to speak or [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Roundtable Discussions
Ask lunaKM – Humiliation as Punishment – Is it Healthy?

Ask lunaKM – Humiliation as Punishment – Is it Healthy?

Is it healthy to use humiliation as a punishment?  I mean, it’s fun during scenes.  You know it’s just play & you can always use your safe word if your Dominant hits you where it hurts.  During punishments, you know your Dominant isn’t pleased with you, which is painful enough alone.  That’s why you’re being [...]

8 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Play and Sex
Learn How to Nourish Yourself, Your Relationship and Your Submission

Learn How to Nourish Yourself, Your Relationship and Your Submission

Several years ago, I was reading a book. In the book, one of the characters had a tattoo that read “quod nutrit me destruit me”. After reading a bit further, the translation of the quote was given, “that which nourishes me also destroys me”. Long after finishing the book, I was unable to forget that [...]

4 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Ask lunaKM – Sudden Illness During Play

Ask lunaKM – Sudden Illness During Play

Leatherstrap asks me: I played with a lady tonite who set out very clearly that she wanted to play rough – in fact she wanted to be brought to tears – She had a safe word which she didnt call but as the session went on it became apparent that she wasnt well – I [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Safety
What To Do When You Encounter Limits Mid Scene

What To Do When You Encounter Limits Mid Scene

Imagine this; you are playing and happily enjoying what is going on between the two of you. As the scene continues you start to feel pushed to your limit, but you continue to play. Then, almost without warning you hit a wall and (hopefully) safeword. You’ve just hit a limit. It could be a temporary [...]

3 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Play and Sex

SGBHC #13 – Using Safewords

Welcome everyone to the Submissive Guide Blog Hop Challenge (SGBHC)!  I am so thrilled to see you here!  First, the challenge… Submissive Challenge #13 Using Safewords Do you have a safeword? When was the last time you used it? Are you afraid to say your safeword for fear of appearing weak? What are you indicators that [...]

9 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Play and Sex

In Readiness – Scene Care and Aftercare

Whether you are preparing for a scene or well into aftercare it’s always handy to have tools and resources at hand that can help you through all the stages of the play time many of us adore. I’ve gathered a list of the articles and essays on this site that are related to scene care [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Play and Sex

Submissive Guide Blog Hop Challenge #13 – Using Safewords

One of the things that people love most about this site is gaining new knowledge and viewpoints.  I have taken it upon myself to organize a day to take place once a month that will encourage bloggers to challenge themselves and explore their submissive choices! Read all the important guidelines  and FAQ on the Blog Hop [...]

3 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Play and Sex
Developing Trust  in Your Dominant and The Proper Use of a Safe Word

Developing Trust in Your Dominant and The Proper Use of a Safe Word

Have you ever wondered why we use safe words in this lifestyle? I have pondered that a time or two and have always come to conclusion that it is what makes this lifestyle safe. Without them we are bordering on harming the other person if we go too far. It is important to develop a [...]

9 comments Posted by LadySneak | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Play and Sex

What does “Checking In” During a Scene Mean?

This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. Using a check in during a scene is a responsibility of the Dominant to make sure things are going as they should. Often times this is a simple, “are [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Glossary
Ask Anything | My Boyfriend/Dominant Won’t Allow a Safeword

Ask Anything | My Boyfriend/Dominant Won’t Allow a Safeword

I’m a submissive and my boyfriend is a dominant. I trust him fully and love that he pushes my limits. My problem is he won’t allow me a safe word. I only want it in case something is about to break, I can’t breathe, etc. He won’t listen to my pleas to have one. Any advice to [...]

Leave a comment Posted by SehAnru | Posted in: Ask Anything
Use Your Safeword Without Guilt – You Are NOT a Bad Sub For Needing It

Use Your Safeword Without Guilt – You Are NOT a Bad Sub For Needing It

I’ve talked about safewords here before. I believe they are very important for new relationships and when new activities are being introduced. A stop word is a brake in the play; one that typically halts play completely, but can also be one where slowing down is the direction. Yes there are people who don’t use safewords and [...]

5 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Play and Sex, Safety
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