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Articles for tag 'Safety'

Articles

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Submission Isn’t Easy-Nor for Your Convenience

The other day in a submissive’s group I’m in on Facebook, a member made a post about something her dominant wanted her to do, yet she was absolutely 100% against doing and was looking for help on how to get past her unwillingness. There were several comments and there was one in particular that caught [...]

7 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Personal Growth
A Lesson on The Importance of Online Safety from Kitty Thomas’ “Tender Mercies”

A Lesson on The Importance of Online Safety from Kitty Thomas’ “Tender Mercies”

In my continuous effort to read the books that have been in the bottom of my Kindle, I came across Kitty Thomas’ Tender Mercies. It wasn’t until I finished it and was writing a review that I realized what a great lesson this piece of fiction can teach those in the lifestyle, especially those that [...]

Leave a comment Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Safety

Hitting the Wall During Play – Limit’s Edge

This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. The Wall: The Wall is one identification of the limit that the mind and body are physically capable of processing. Some submissives will talk about ‘hitting the Wall’ or ‘White Out’. This is [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Play and Sex, Safety
31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 15: Online Security and Anonymity, or Should You Share?

31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 15: Online Security and Anonymity, or Should You Share?

When you decide to open up your life to the world and write a public blog, there are some inherent dangers with being discovered or worse. What worse could there be? Reports to child services which could lead to losing your children, someone from your job discovering your “immoral” life and firing you, or complete disowning [...]

About Punishment

This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Punishment is one of those areas which is not what it seems. Before you can develop tools or methods of punishment you have to look at the concepts behind the issue itself. To [...]

2 comments Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Beginner Basics
When Play is No Longer Play: Recognizing Abuse in a BDSM Relationship

When Play is No Longer Play: Recognizing Abuse in a BDSM Relationship

There seems to be this very misguided idea that it is entirely acceptable for the dominant partner in a relationship to participate in aggressive play when they are angry, so long as it is referred to as a scene or as being kinky. I am going to tell you on no uncertain terms that if [...]

8 comments Posted by andyiccee | Posted in: Relationships, Safety
DIY: Knife & Blood Play

DIY: Knife & Blood Play

Trigger Warning: Blood play, cutting, blood and knives When I first filled out my BDSM checklist, I felt entirely insufficient. For every one activity that I really wanted to try, there were two that I said I never wanted to try. There seemed to be infinitely more zeros (which indicated hard limits) than threes (which [...]

6 comments Posted by andyiccee | Posted in: Play and Sex, Safety
Sub Drop From Afar: Managing Sub Drop in a Long Distance Relationship

Sub Drop From Afar: Managing Sub Drop in a Long Distance Relationship

Sub drop is the feeling of hopelessness and depression that can follow the extreme rush of endorphins during intense play or sex if the sub is not cared for appropriately afterwards. Care varies from person to person – some of us need to be held and cuddled and praised and iced or hot packed accordingly, [...]

3 comments Posted by andyiccee | Posted in: Play and Sex, Safety

Consent is Key: SSC and RACK

From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 4/19/14 The Birth of Safe, Sane and Consensual Historically, David Stein is the person who first coined the phrase in 1983 for the Gay Male SM Activists Group that he co-founded. It was then used as the slogan in the SM Rights contingent of the Gay Rights march to the [...]

2 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Fundamentals, Newsletter Archive

RACK: The Risk Acceptable Safety Mantra

I’ve spoken to you about Safe, Sane and Consensual and about how it is the first safety mantra that people adopt as they learn about BDSM and kink relationships. Most BDSM munch groups around the world use SSC to define the play that is acceptable and how they prefer to present themselves to the vanilla [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Play and Sex

Understanding Safe Words for Safe Play

The adventures in the bedroom or dungeon are a lot of fun and you can get lost in the intense responses and pleasure during these moments. It is not without it’s own challenge of safety and communication. When the intensity of activities go up it’s not uncommon for tops and bottoms alike to lose the [...]

4 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Play and Sex

Personal Safety Mantra: Safe Sane and Consensual (SSC)

When a novice submissive first learns about BDSM or D/s power exchange it can be a scary place. The first thing I like to help these novices learn is about safety mantras, particularly the widely accepted Safe, Sane and Consensual or SSC. What is SSC? It’s a credo that people in the BDSM community use [...]

2 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Fundamentals, Safety
Submitting in a Long Distance Relationship: The Big Meet

Submitting in a Long Distance Relationship: The Big Meet

As I mentioned in my introduction to this series, online submission is a bit of a hot-button among D/s practitioners. There are a lot of great arguments for why it doesn’t work, and for each of those, there’s an equally strong counterargument for why it’s a perfectly valid arrangement; but chances are, unless you’re submitting [...]

5 comments Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Relationships, Safety
Male submission – Financial Domination

Male submission – Financial Domination

Financial Domination is an area of BDSM which often elicits strong opinions. With other BDSM activities such as spanking and bondage, at some point after the Safe, Sane, and Consensual scene is over there is no damage done and things are typically physically back to the way they were. However, if a sub’s money is [...]

24 comments Posted by ted_subby | Posted in: Male Submission, Relationships
Ask lunaKM – Dominant, a Bully?

Ask lunaKM – Dominant, a Bully?

I have been in my first D/s relationship for the past 6 months.My Sir and I don’t live together yet but that is the plan for the future, although I am with him whenever I am not working.  There are a few things that are bothering me and I would like to know if these [...]

4 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships, Safety
You Could Be in Danger While in Top/Sub Space – Learn How to Protect Yourself

You Could Be in Danger While in Top/Sub Space – Learn How to Protect Yourself

I first published this in Society of Janus’ Bi-monthly newsletter, I thought I’d share it with you as well. From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 4/6/13 Exploring kink is full of exciting experiences and hormonal roller coasters. We manipulate adrenaline and endorphins to give us a pleasurable experience during play. Often without knowing how these hormones [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Play and Sex
Do You Make These Mistakes? Avoid Outing a Fellow BDSM Lifestyler

Do You Make These Mistakes? Avoid Outing a Fellow BDSM Lifestyler

There are a few “sins” in the world of BDSM; ignoring a safe word and touching that which does not belong to you are a few examples.  But, while both of these are bad, one might be able to look at a different point of view.  Someone may ignore a safe word because their scene [...]

1 comment Posted by LaneyDoll | Posted in: Community
Your Responsibilities in Play – In and Out of a Relationship

Your Responsibilities in Play – In and Out of a Relationship

From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 3/2/13 Our responsibilities as a submissive are important to be aware of. I’ve said a number of times in other articles that often novice submissives feel that once they are in a relationship they don’t have any responsibilities at all. That is far from true. Does that then mean that [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Play and Sex
Ask lunaKM – Quick Fire Answers on Being a Great Submissive, Guilt, Shame and More

Ask lunaKM – Quick Fire Answers on Being a Great Submissive, Guilt, Shame and More

My question is how do i learn to be great for a Master seeing that i am a man. Women have so many advantages to pleasing their Master than i do. Can you give me some pointers? Thank you. I’m not really sure what advantages that are uniquely female that don’t have a male counterpart. [...]

3 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Play and Sex, Relationships
Male Submission – Foot Fetish

Male Submission – Foot Fetish

In this part 3 of my series of articles about Male Submission on The Submissive Guide, I discuss the role of a foot fetish. There are a whole lot of guys who have a fetish for feet, and while there are women who also have a foot fetish it is by far more prevalent with [...]

11 comments Posted by ted_subby | Posted in: Male Submission, Play and Sex
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