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Browse: Home / Safety

Safety

Serving after Abuse

By SehAnru on July 19, 2010

Having been in the lifestyle for almost two years now, one of the things that I have noticed is that I am facing a lot of issues due to abuse from my past. Not from any Dominant in the lifestyle, just from others in my past. I’ve learned enough that if you have similar past [...]

Posted in Submission | Tagged abuse, breaking down barriers, openness, reprogrammed responses, Safety, suggestions, support, trust | 3 Responses

Why Safety is Preached to Novices and Why It’s Important to Know Anyway

By lunaKM on June 4, 2010

From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 3/3/10 Being in the BDSM community for any length of time you are likely to come across the common sermons of SSC, Safe Calls and First Meeting Safety. When you are novice in BDSM I’d encourage you to listen to these sermons and listen hard; they could protect you as [...]

Posted in Newsletter Archive, Safety | Tagged advice, basics, community, lifestyle, mantra, newsletter, novices, red flags, rules, safe call, Safety, SSC, submissive guide newsletter | 1 Response

Novice Q&A – March Edition

By lunaKM on March 29, 2010

This month I have questions about safe words and relationship types. I have heard that there are universal safe words, but the only one I’ve ever been told of is red(as far as I know it is a call for help). I just want to know if there are sets of words known as a [...]

Posted in Novice Q & A | Tagged D/s relationship, M/s relationship, novice questions, relationship types, safe word, safe words, Safety, safeword, safewords, stoplight safety system, Top/bottom relationship, universal safe word | Leave a response

Stress in Play with Predicament Bondage

Stress in Play with Predicament Bondage

By nan {SL} on March 17, 2010

Has your Dom/me ever tied you in a position where if you move one way this part of your body gets stressed or pulled, and if you move another way, that part of your body gets tugged or pinched? If so, then you have experienced predicament bondage! Predicament bondage can be simple or complex and [...]

Posted in BDSM Basics | Tagged Bondage, comfort, opposing forces, painful situations, play, predicament bondage, Safety, scene, stress, stressors | 1 Response

What NOT to Share on Your Online Profile

By lunaKM on February 13, 2010

This video post is about what not to share on your online profile. We all have one somewhere. FetLife being all the rage right now, but also we have alt.com, collarme.com, bondage.com and others where we place ads and identity profiles up to get people interested. This interest can be friends or relationship related; it [...]

Posted in Safety, Video Posts | Tagged abuse, Alt.com, Bondage, Bondage.com, CollarMe, cons, danger, dangers, dating, depression, email, false sense of security, family, fetlife, friends, information, internet, online, Online dating, online profiles, profile safety, relationship, rt, safe, Safety, security, Service, share, share photos, sharing, support, tips | 3 Responses

Up in Flames: The Basics of Fireplay

By Guest Author on January 11, 2010

This is another guest post for the BDSM Play Feature here on SubmissiveGuide. This post about Fire Play is by Gwendolyn. Enjoy! I have always been a fire bug and am a volunteer fire fighter. So when I became interested in BDSM and heard about fire play it was definitely top of my list of [...]

Posted in BDSM Basics | Tagged amazon.com, basics, BDSM, bdsm play, bdsm play feature, book, bottom, cons, danger, Dom, Domme, email, event, events, experience, feature series, fetlife, fire cupping, fire drumming, fire fleshing, fire flogging, fire play, fire whipping, focus, friends, friendships, guest post, Gwendolyn, health, information, learned, leather, love, m/s, online, opinion, pain tolerance, play, poly, questions, review, risk, rt, safe, Safety, scene, Service, single, slave, stress, submissive, support, toy, toys, trust, websites, writing | 1 Response

SkylerPet’s Helpful Holiday Hints

SkylerPet’s Helpful Holiday Hints

By Guest Author on December 9, 2009

This post is another guest post by Skylerpet. You can read her other posts here. She’s wants to help us all get through the holidays with less stress. Here’s some tips to help you. If you have other tips for holiday stress, please leave them in the comments! With the holiday season in full swing, [...]

Posted in Service | Tagged 24/7, bath, book, chat, christmas, Christmas tips, clean, D/s, dates, disposable, email, family, family visits, guest post, hands, health, help, holiday, holiday hints, holiday stress, learned, lifestyle, pet play, play, rt, safe, Safety, share, skylerpet, stress, submissive, tips, wants | Leave a response

The Safety Disguise of Safewords

The Safety Disguise of Safewords

By lunaKM on September 21, 2009

I’ve always believed that safewords are only good if you know how to use them. Good ole communication is great for things like numb limbs, an itch you can’t reach or a bathroom break.  Submissive Guide is here for novices and it’s always good to teach about safewords and recommend that you have one. In [...]

Posted in Safety | Tagged acceptance, advice, bath, BDSM, bdsm play, beginning bdsm, blogs, book, communication, cons, consensual, danger, desires, Dom, dominant, information, kajira, learned, needs, negotiation, novice, novices, partners, play, relationship, Relationships, risk, rt, safe, Safety, safewords, sane, security, share, stress, submissive, trust | 2 Responses

The Basics of Negotiating a Scene

The Basics of Negotiating a Scene

By lunaKM on August 26, 2009

It can be very scary approaching a Dominant and asking them to play with you. The butterflies in your belly can make it very difficult to take that first step. It can be every worse if you two don’t negotiate the scene so that you get what you want out of it and s/he does [...]

Posted in Playtime | Tagged basics, BDSM, Bondage, bottom, boundaries, checklist, Dom, dominant, dominant partner, dress, event, experience, health, limits, marks, needs, negotiation, obedience, partners, play, player, relationship, roles, rt, safe, safe words, Safety, scene, sex, spanking, submissive, toy, toys | 1 Response

First Meetings Done Safely

First Meetings Done Safely

By lunaKM on August 8, 2009

This week’s video post is on First Meetings Safety. When you are ready to meet your dream Dominant for the first time, what goes through your mind? Do you think about safety at all or do the nervousness and excitment overload your common sense? You may not think that safety is necessary for someone you’ve [...]

Posted in Safety, Video Posts | Tagged blind date, choice, choices, comfort, common sense, D/s, danger, dates, dating, Dom, dominant, dominants, dress, first meetings, information, munch, nervousness, normal, online, personal safety, play, questions, relationship, rt, safe, safe call, Safety, security, short, value, wants | Leave a response

The BDSM Checklist that Will Really Help You

By lunaKM on July 27, 2009

An important part of negotiating a scene is discussing what you want out of the scene. Sure there are a lot of really thorough BDSM checklists that you could fill out if you don’t want to really think about what turns you on and drives you crazy with pleasure. BDSM checklists all live under different [...]

Posted in BDSM Basics, Training Resume | Tagged abuse, activities, BDSM, bdsm activities, bdsm checklist, book, books, checklist, cons, desires, experience, health, help, information, kinky, limits, marks, needs, negotiation, online, permanent marks, play, player, resume, rt, safe, Safety, scene, sex, share, submission, training, Training Resume | 2 Responses

Recommended Reading for New Submissives

Recommended Reading for New Submissives

By lunaKM on May 26, 2009

The following is a list of books that I recommend for every novice submissive. The links lead you to Amazon if you are interested in buying the books. Part of your purchase goes towards supporting this site and my efforts at continuing to bring you content on this site. Books Learning the Ropes: A Basic [...]

Posted in BDSM Basics | Tagged advice, amazon.com, basics, BDSM Basics, bdsm books, bdsm reading, Bondage, book, book list, books, communication, community, discussion, Dom, Dominance, dominant, endorphins, experience, explanations, female, Gloria Brahme, how-to, Impact, impact play, learning, leather, lifestyle, links, love, Masochism, molly devon, myths, negotiation, novice, novices, partners, philip miller, play, player, recommendations, recommended reading, relationship, Relationships, Resources, romance, rt, Sadism, safe, Safety, sane, scene, screw the roses, sensuous, sex, sexual dominance, slave, submission, submissive, support, tips, toy, toys, wants, William Brahme | 1 Response

Cyber Submission and Exploring D/s Online

Cyber Submission and Exploring D/s Online

By lunaKM on May 21, 2009

Today’s post comes from Skylerpet, a submissive pet in a D/s relationship with experience in online submission. Thank you Skylerpet! Online D/s is perhaps one of the most controversial subjects in the Dominance and submission community. The stance i will take on this subject, based on online D/s relationships of my own, is that yes; it [...]

Posted in Online Submission | Tagged 24/7, BDSM, bdsm play, blogs, Bondage, calendar, changing, chat, community, cons, control, cyber relationships, D/s, desires, Dom, Dominance, dominant, dress, dynamic, dynamics, email, emotions, essays, experience, family, favorite, friends, guest post, honesty, information, internet, internet tools, IRC, kinky, lifestyle, love, needs, online, online D/s, online dominance, Online Submission, online training, opinion, partners, pet play, play, predators, questions, real life, red flags, relationship, Relationships, rt, safe, Safety, security, sex, short, skylerpet, slave, stress, submission, submissive, tasks, titles, trust, twitter, wants, websites, writing | 2 Responses

Etiquette at Play Parties

By lunaKM on May 11, 2009

Each social situation we expose ourselves to has it’s own set of rules and behaviors. This is also true of BDSM events, perhaps even moreso. A play party will have different rules at each location you may attend one. There will be established rules as well as house/location rules. There are also unspoken rules that [...]

Posted in BDSM Basics, Playtime | Tagged advice, BDSM, BDSM event, bdsm events, Dom, dominant, dominants, edge play, etiquette, event, events, Gor, limits, novice, novices, play, play parties, player, protocol, relationship, Relationships, rt, rules, safe, Safety, scene, sex, social situation, sorry, specifics, submissive, titles, toy, toys, unspoken rules | Leave a response

The Roundtable: Open Marriages

By lunaKM on May 6, 2009

Every so often I want to open up the blog for you to share and teach me on a topic that I don’t know a lot about. This is your chance to teach me and the other readers of this blog. I encourage you to comment, subscribe to the comments and keep coming back to [...]

Posted in Relationships, Roundtable Discussions | Tagged activities, book, cons, event, experience, friendships, hands, Impact, jealousy, lifestyle, limits, marriage, open marriages, open relationships, partners, poly, polyamory, questions, relationship, Relationships, rt, rules, safe, Safety, sex, sexual encounters, share | 1 Response

Pet Play and Human Pets: A Primer

Pet Play and Human Pets: A Primer

By lunaKM on April 15, 2009

Today’s post comes from Skylerpet, a submissive pet in a D/s relationship who volunteered to write an essay for me after seeing the Weekly Tips on YouTube. Thank you Skylerpet! Pet play is one of the most unique, one of the least known and in my opinion one of the most fun and entertaining sub-cultures [...]

Posted in Playtime, Relationships | Tagged 24/7, BDSM, begging, Bondage, bow, chat, collars, communication, cons, D/s, Dom, dominant, email, experience, female, focus, Gor, hands, help, human animals, human pet, learning, lifestyle, movement, needs, opinion, owned, pet play, pets, play, protocol, punishment, questions, relationship, role play, rt, rules, safe, Safety, scene, sex, short, skylerpet, slave, stress, submission, submissive, switch, tall, tips, toy, toys, training, tricks, writing | 5 Responses

A Single Submissive Packs a Toybag

A Single Submissive Packs a Toybag

By lunaKM on April 13, 2009

If you intend to venture into play on a casual level or at play parties and clubs as a single submissive you need to arrive prepared for play. This includes having some of your own toys so that you don’t rely on Dominants being gracious enough to use their toys on you. It is not [...]

Posted in BDSM Basics, Playtime, Safety | Tagged amazon.com, Bondage, choice, clean, cleaning, clubs, common sense, disposable, Dom, dominant, dominants, first aid, floggers, Gor, health, latex, leather, love, paddles, play, play parties, preparedness, rt, safe, Safety, sex, single, submissive, toy, toybag, toys, whips | 2 Responses

The Value of Checklists

By lunaKM on April 3, 2009

This week’s video tip is on the BDSM Checklist. If you’ve just started out in BDSM and have asked a few questions, it is very likely that you have been directed to use a checklist to become familiar with what you may or may not like in play and roles and fetishes. If you haven’t [...]

Posted in BDSM Basics, Training Resume, Video Posts | Tagged abuse, activities, BDSM, bdsm checklist, bdsm play, checklist, email, event, fetishes, help, limits, links, paraphilias, play, play activites, questions, relationship, resume, roles, rt, Safety, share, training, Training Resume, value | Leave a response

Review: Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns

Review: Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns

By lunaKM on March 23, 2009

If you’ve been around the BDSM and D/s scene at all there is one of many books that always comes up in conversation as a good book to read when you are new to the whole lifestyle. This book is Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by [...]

Posted in Reviews | Tagged abuse, advice, amazon.com, basics, BDSM, Bondage, book, books, community, cons, consensual, D/s, danger, Dom, Dominance, dominant, emotions, endorphins, etiquette, experience, explanations, female, help, Impact, impact play, information, kinky, learning, library, lifestyle, limits, love, manners, Masochism, molly devon, negotiation, novice, novices, philip miller, play, player, recommended reading, relationship, Relationships, review, roles, romance, rt, safe, Safety, sane, scene, screw the roses, sex, SSC, standing, submission, submissive, support, tips, toy, toys, tricks, understanding | 2 Responses

Do You Need the “Luck o’ the Irish” to Meet that Perfect Dominant?

Do You Need the “Luck o’ the Irish” to Meet that Perfect Dominant?

By lunaKM on March 16, 2009

Looking for your partner is challenging, no doubt about it. You’ve probably done the bar scene, the alternative adult dating sites, and maybe a few of the vanilla ones too. No matter where you look you find men or women that just aren’t your type. I’m here to say that it is possible to find [...]

Posted in Relationships | Tagged blind date, bow, D/s, dates, dating, Dom, dominant, dos and donts, first meetings, information, love, play, questions, relationship, rt, rules, safe, safe call, Safety, scene, security, submission, tips, trust, value | Leave a response

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