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Articles for tag 'safe word'

Articles

My Partner Is Hanging On to an Old Relationship

My Partner Is Hanging On to an Old Relationship

It is very difficult to lead somebody. Exponentially so when she answers to another.

1 comment Posted by Mrs. Darling | Posted in: Ask Anything
Defining Sub Space

Defining Sub Space

Mistress Steel breaks down the many levels of subspace, as she sees them, and how to navigate them in play.

1 comment Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Safewords During Disciplinary Punishment: Yay or Nay?

Safewords During Disciplinary Punishment: Yay or Nay?

Recently I was in a discussion about safewords, but it wasn’t the usual definitions and whether they are truly useful so I thought I’d work though my thoughts on it here and share it with you. The question that was presented was whether safewords should be allowed during punishment and if they weren’t was that [...]

11 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Safety
After “Red” : How to Manage the Aftermath When You’ve Used Your Safeword

After “Red” : How to Manage the Aftermath When You’ve Used Your Safeword

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 11/1/14 Your safeword is your lifeline for play. It is a way to express you’ve reached a limit, whether that is a physical limit or an emotional one. The couples that play with safewords know that there is an often unspoken importance in only using it when it is necessary [...]

photography; George L Stein, model; Lilly Rose

The Controversy of Safe Words during Punishment

A few months ago, a heated topic was being discussed in a lifestyle group that I’m a member of on Facebook. The reason the topic became so heated was because, well, of me. I wasn’t really surprised by this because well, I do have a tendency to create controversy. It was so bad this time, [...]

10 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Relationships, Safety
Everything That’s Wrong with Your BDSM Limits List – And How To Fix It

Everything That’s Wrong with Your BDSM Limits List – And How To Fix It

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 3/8/14 Limits are those boundaries that we set for ourselves because of physical, emotional, mental, social or psychological hesitations, morals or values we want to uphold and dislike for some things. For most submissives we put together a rudimentary limits list as soon as we know what BDSM is and [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Fundamentals, Newsletter Archive

Understanding Safe Words for Safe Play

The adventures in the bedroom or dungeon are a lot of fun and you can get lost in the intense responses and pleasure during these moments. It is not without it’s own challenge of safety and communication. When the intensity of activities go up it’s not uncommon for tops and bottoms alike to lose the [...]

4 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Play and Sex
Is It Healthy to Do Humiliation as Punishment?

Is It Healthy to Do Humiliation as Punishment?

Is it healthy to use humiliation as a punishment?  I mean, it’s fun during scenes.  You know it’s just play & you can always use your safe word if your Dominant hits you where it hurts.  During punishments, you know your Dominant isn’t pleased with you, which is painful enough alone.  That’s why you’re being [...]

8 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Play and Sex
Do You Make These Mistakes? Avoid Outing a Fellow BDSM Lifestyler

Do You Make These Mistakes? Avoid Outing a Fellow BDSM Lifestyler

There are a few “sins” in the world of BDSM; ignoring a safe word and touching that which does not belong to you are a few examples.  But, while both of these are bad, one might be able to look at a different point of view.  Someone may ignore a safe word because their scene [...]

1 comment Posted by LaneyDoll | Posted in: Community
Why Might I Get Sick Suddenly During Play?

Why Might I Get Sick Suddenly During Play?

Leatherstrap asks me: I played with a lady tonite who set out very clearly that she wanted to play rough – in fact she wanted to be brought to tears – She had a safe word which she didnt call but as the session went on it became apparent that she wasnt well – I [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Safety
The Importance of Consent in D/s Negotiation

The Importance of Consent in D/s Negotiation

Consent and Negotiation are probably something that we think about but don’t really acknowledge daily. It is important none the less to think about and address in a Dominant/submissive relationship. Why? There are many reasons but the most important one is being safe not only with your partner but more importantly with yourself. Consent is [...]

6 comments Posted by LadySneak | Posted in: Safety
The Secret to Better Submission Everyday

The Secret to Better Submission Everyday

From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 6/23/12 Want to know a secret? Submission gets better everyday. What makes it so good? I’m not going to tell you any revelations that you probably don’t already know. But here goes. Your personal investment in your future is what makes it better everyday. The fact that you follow Submissive [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Personal Growth
Developing Trust  in Your Dominant and The Proper Use of a Safe Word

Developing Trust in Your Dominant and The Proper Use of a Safe Word

Have you ever wondered why we use safe words in this lifestyle? I have pondered that a time or two and have always come to conclusion that it is what makes this lifestyle safe. Without them we are bordering on harming the other person if we go too far. It is important to develop a [...]

9 comments Posted by LadySneak | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Play and Sex
My Boyfriend/Dominant Won’t Allow a Safeword

My Boyfriend/Dominant Won’t Allow a Safeword

I’m a submissive and my boyfriend is a dominant. I trust him fully and love that he pushes my limits. My problem is he won’t allow me a safe word. I only want it in case something is about to break, I can’t breathe, etc. He won’t listen to my pleas to have one. Any advice to [...]

Leave a comment Posted by SehAnru | Posted in: Ask Anything
Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner: Part 3- My Partner is Interested!

Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner: Part 3- My Partner is Interested!

In part 1 of this series of articles we examined the initial approach for discussing your submissive desires with your vanilla partner. In  part 2 we examined how to address the issue if your partner does not respond positively to the initial approach. In this final part 3 we examine how to proceed if your vanilla [...]

3 comments Posted by ted_subby | Posted in: Relationships
Kink and Mental Health: The Ethics and Legality of Consent

Kink and Mental Health: The Ethics and Legality of Consent

I’ve been putting this subject off, and I’m still sort of waffling on moving on to something else, but that’s mostly because, I’m not a legal professional, either.  On this topic, in particular, I can only speak to my opinion, experience, and tenuous understanding of the law in New York State, and really don’t know [...]

4 comments Posted by Rayne Millaray | Posted in: Community
Kink and Mental Health: Can “sub drop” be a trigger?

Kink and Mental Health: Can “sub drop” be a trigger?

On the subject of sub drop and mental health issues, Aletheia asked: I have suffered from clinical depression since early adolescence, if not childhood.  I’ve been on medication for ten years, and rarely feel depressed anymore.  My mentor suggested that I might want to avoid heavy or intense play, as she suspects that with my [...]

5 comments Posted by Rayne Millaray | Posted in: Beginner Basics

Ask lunaKM – Universal Safe Words and the Different Relationship Types

This month I have questions about safe words and relationship types. I have heard that there are universal safe words, but the only one I’ve ever been told of is red(as far as I know it is a call for help). I just want to know if there are sets of words known as a [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything