Dressing for a Play Party; What to Wear

After the invitation has been recieved and you decide to go comes a moment of panic for many submissives. What do you wear to a play party? As with everything here, take these as suggestions and ideas for your own wardrobe. All parties are not created equal and be sure to find out if you have to dress at the party or if you can wear it off the street. There are also different dress codes for private parties vs. public/membership clubs. Pay attention to the requirements of these places when selecting what you want to wear.

Even if you don’t have any fetish wear in your wardrobe I’m sure you can find something that would be acceptable at the party. Depending on your level of undress that you desire it could be as simple as a matching bra and panty set with maybe some garters and heels. Lingerie is always welcome at parties that I’ve been too as well. Corsets, bustiers and cinchers of any sort are quite common. From these ideas I’m sure you can come up with something to wear if you have never dressed for a party before.

Now, if you have leather, rubber, latex or another fabric in clothing then that’s also quite welcome at these events. Tight blue jeans have been a welcom site when paired with some leather or sexy top. One party I went to I saw a woman wearing only rope in the form of a dress (an actual dress) it was really neat. I imagine that it took the rigger a long time to get it wrapped just right.

There is always the customary black clothing which seems to be a Top/Dom staple. Must be something about the attitude and nature of the desires being expressed at the party that draw people to black clothing. Dressing stylishly and sexy wins when coming in off the street for a party. If in doubt ask the host/hostess.

Other things I’ve seen worn at play parties are:

• Hotpants
• Collars of all sorts
• Costumes (nurse, school girl, policman, military, etc)
• Chastity belts
• Leather harnesses
• Chaps
• Cod pieces
• Gauntlets in rope, leather or rubber
• Knee high or thigh high boots
• Zentai suits

Cost can be a huge interence when it comes to obtaining fetish wear but you can be creative and come up with outfits that will work for you and not break the bank. Check out the essay, ‘Fetish Wear for a Tenner or Less by Lauren‘. She gives some wonderful ideas that are versitle and useful.

Most importantly is to feel good in what you are wearing. It could make or break the outfit. Don’t wear something just because everyone else does, wear it because it makes you feel good, you feel in character or you love how you look in it. That attitude will show in whatever you choose to wear.

Enjoy the party!

photo by Markusram

What is a Play Party?

When you enter the local BDSM community one of the events you may be exposed to is a play party. A play party is a essentially a party were BDSM play can occur. Groups hold parties as a way to learn and educate on safe play methods, chat about topics and generally hang around.

Parties usually have you sign a consent form saying you are aware of what’s going on, waive any obligation of the homeowner for any injury and confirming you are old enough to be there (18 or 21 depending on the group). Smaller parties usually bring snacks to share. Alcohol may or may not be allowed. I know that most will not allow you to play if you are drinking.

There are two types of parties. Public parties and private parties. These can be very different from each other. Public parties are generally open to all group members. I’ve never seen alcohol allowed at these parties. Edgier and messier play is usually not allowed. Sexual play can be not allowed. All public parties I’ve been too have restricted play and not allowed any penetration at all. Private parties are a different beast. Since they are held in private homes and run by the homeowner and not the group they can set their own rules. Sex may be allowed, alcohol may be allowed. Different edgier play may be allowed. It’s all up to the person hosting the party.

Learning about play parties may be intimidating at first but they don’t have to be. If you wonder, you can ask what the rules of the party are before attending. It may help you relax a bit when it comes to your first one. Attending a play party does not obligate you to play. Many of the parties I’ve been to have included people there just to watch, BDSM chat and enjoy the other party aspects of food, drink and conversation. You do not have to dress in fetish attire at a party.

Now that you know what a play party is, do you have any specific questions you’d like me to cover?

photo credit by Pink Sherbet Photography