Am I Submissive?

So, you want me to tell you how you can tell if you are submissive or not? Asking someone else if you are submissive is like asking a blind man what color your dress is. Is there some magical online quiz that can say whether you are submissive or slave? Unfortunately no and I don’t think I’d listen to the results of one if it existed either. Submission isn’t something you can find in a self-help book or a therapist. Submission is a calling.

No, not the same kind of calling that religion speaks about; but similar. Some people find submission to be a natural way to live; something that comes to them easily and simply. To be a natural submissive means you have something innate and inherent in them that disposes them to submission.  Others have to learn about submission step by step. I’ve written about my own experiences with learning submission in the post Submission by Choice. When you feel inside that you are happiest when submitting, that’s when you know you’re submissive. There is no secret to it.

Hearing your inner voice tends to be the hardest thing. You’ve probably come to this post because either someone said you are submissive and you want to know more or you’ve heard that inner voice and you are curious about what it means. Hopefully you will leave here with some understanding of submission and how you know if you are submissive or not.

It will take soul searching, no doubt about that. Trust me when I say that you can not become submissive if you do not have the basic inclination to serve and the emotional pleasure of being available to serve. Once you have that, you are well on your way to knowing you are submissive.

Let’s take a look at the following four spaces to help you figure out if you are submissive. Apply them however they will work for your own personal situation.

Knowing you are submissive will have a mental aspect to it. When you think of serving others does it put you in a peaceful position? If it feels like the logical thing to do then it probably is. When I found that I was happy being submissive I stopped fighting myself and accepted being happy.

You may also have a spiritual connection to submission. I’ve often described my connectedness to my Dominant as being in prayer. I feel a higher power sort of connection when I please him. You may have an overall sense of bliss or complete happiness thinking about or participating in service.

Connecting to submissive can have an emotional response as well. You may cry uncontrollably, or smile so hard and so often that your cheeks hurt. There is a clear sign that you are submissive when you can look upon being of service to someone else and your heart aches with need. Your emotional response is usually the strongest response to submissive stimulus that you will be able to experience.

Lastly when you are submissive you will develop a physical response to Dominance exerted at or near you. For many this is sexual excitement but it could also be a need to physically get up and do something to bring your closer to that Dominance. I’ve had moments that only felt perfect when I listened to the primal urge to kneel or kiss his hand or do something to serve him.

Feeling all of these things at one time or another usually means you have a submissive mindset. It may not happen all the time, but the moments that do you should try to feed it. Develop a service you can provide someone else, volunteer in your community and certainly, if you can explore a relationship with Dominance and submission at its core. You may find the calling you were hearing was one thing or another… or all of the above. Only you can know if submission is the right direction for you.

photo by doug88888

The Many Layers of Sub Space

This week’s video post is about sub space.

When you first heard about sub space it was probably something that you either thought you’d never experience or something that seemed so strange and foreign that you believed it to be a myth. Then you heard the stories and could swear that people were on drugs or something. I’ve even heard it referred to as impossible to attain unless you play really hard.

Whatever  information you encounter there is only one truth. You can reach sub space and if you have any experience at all, then you probably have and just don’t know what it was called. So let’s start small.

Have you ever felt a light-headed, almost floaty feeling in the presence of your Dominant? During play have you ever reached a place that feels like pure happiness and submission, where you know you’d do anything? This is likely subspace.

Now I can’t say for sure that it was or is, because I’m not an expert in seeing euphoria in other people, but trust me. You can reach the elusive sub space. Everyone has their own definition of what subspace is, and how to get there. Since there is such a huge variety of what it is and ways to get there, you can be sure that you can find your way.

During Play

Relax into the sensations. Allow your body to receive the pain or pleasure without any additional response or thoughts on it. Calm your mind. It has been understood that to feel the endorphins take hold you have to open yourself up to them. Let the pain wash over you, or the pleasure fill you overflowing.

Masochists tend to reach sub space a bit easier because they are already intense sensation junkies (you know who you are). Don’t think that you have to be a masochist at all to reach sub space! The sense of euphoria can happen at any time.

Outside of Play

You can also experience sub space outside of play. It’s commonly  felt like a sense of complete devotion and service, or slave happiness. When you focus on service and your submission you can reach a sense of pure and primal connection to your Dominant. This connection, this intense focus is sub space. You may appear to have tunnel vision; your Dominant is the only think you are centering your attention on and time seems to fade away. I’ve lost many hours this way. In complete service bliss.

My own experience with something as a teenager comes to mind. I was raised Pentecostal. Part of that is going to revivals, stirring up the emotions in hope that the holy spirit would bless you with ‘tongues’ or other holy fire. During my teen years I went to many revivals. At several of these I felt called to the front for prayer and rejoicing. The whole atmosphere is set up to make you feel like something special is going to happen. That happy sense of intimate connection with God and prayer is quite similar to the way I feel during sub space outside of play. My Master is my higher power and his love and devotion often brings me to tears and all choked up in my submission. It’s like that tremendous feeling at the revivals. I feel completely connected to him in a powerful way.

How you experience sub space is completely individual. Just like all of the descriptions you’ve heard you can add yours to the mix. It is a personal connection to your Dominant. It can be very intense or it can leave you feeling like you are glowing with happiness. In any way that you experience it, revel in it.

Personal Hiatus: Death in the Family

Due to the death of my loving StepMother from Mesothelioma I will not be posting here until I return from her memorial and comforting my father. I am driving to Richmond, VA and expect to be gone around 10 days. May she rest in peace now that she is no longer in pain. Prayers, thoughts and candles lit in her memory would be welcome but not required. Her pain is now gone; her memory still bright in our hearts. I will miss her dearly. My heart breaks even though I know she is now free.

Please feel free to read the archives here and comment on posts that interest you.

–lunaKM

PS: Please continue participating in the 2 Book Contest. I will announce the winner upon my return.

artwork by Sir George Clausen

A Great Example of a Slave’s Rosary

On FetLife quite awhile back now, a slave posted her version of a rosary with her Master as the focus. As with any rosary or prayer beads, it is used in mediation and presents a spirituality in service that can be adopted and adapted to fit your relationship.

I’ve always had a curiosity with religious artifacts and items used by the believers. I’ve even made and had blessed a set of rosary beads for a friend of mine. They were very special for me to make, and I will most likely do it again for someone new.

The following is a rosary, set up in the same format as the Catholic Rosary to be said during times of mediation for a slave. You can change the prayers any way you’d like or reorganize them. I would love to know if you have your own submissive Rosary and could share that in the comments!

For those not familiar, a typical Rosary consists of an emblem, three beads leading up to a medallion, and then five sets each of ten beads separated by a single bead.

The Order of Prayers

written by Syr_David’s ~melly

Begin at the emblem (1) then the single bead (2) then the three beads (3) then (4) and then the single bead (5) skip the medallion and start on the decades (set of ten beads) (6) after each of those, say (7) and then on the single bead, (8) . Repeat for each decade. At the end, (the medallion) you can say the slaves prayer again, or whatever mantra you wish to end with.

1. I say a portion of my oath of fealty here. You can repeat the “Slave’s Prayer“, or whatever is pertinent to you (original was the Apostle’s Creed).
2. Say the “Master, owner of my body“.
3. Say three “I am your slave“.
4. Say the “In gratitude“.
5. Announce (or think) the principle of your service that you will be concentrating on, and say the “Owner of my body“.
6. Say ten “I am your slave” while considering and concentrating on the principle or idea you have.
7. Say the “In gratitude“.
8. Say the principle you are meditating on, and say the “Master, owner of my body“.

The Prayers

Slave’s Prayer – adapted from A Submissive’s Prayer

Allow me the Serenity to serve Him in peace

Allow me the Love to show Him myself

Allow me the Tenderness to comfort Him

Allow me the Light to show us the way

Allow me the Wisdom to be an asset to Him

Let me be able to show Him each day my love of service to Him

Let me open myself up to completely belong to Him

Let me accept my punishments with grace

Let me learn to please Him beyond myself

Grant me the power to give myself to Him completely

Give me the strength to please us both

Permit me to love myself in loving Him

Return to Prayer Order

Master, owner of my body

Master, owner of my body and director of my will, you are with me. I am thankful that I serve you. Let me be transparent as glass, that my heart may be visible always, for my entire self, even unto the workings of my mind, are yours. Master, I honor you with my service and submit to you with my thoughts, words, and deeds, so that I may be a reflection of your will, and the manifestation of your desires.

Return to Prayer Order

I am your slave

Master, I am your slave and your property. I will work and I will sacrifice that I may reflect your intentions, and make of myself a window to the soul you own. Use me Master, as you see fit, that I may learn to serve and to submit to you in all things.

Return to Prayer Order

In Gratitude

In gratitude I serve, and in thankfulness I submit, and in peace I honor my Master with my trust.

Return to Prayer Order

photo by Muffet