Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

Articles for tag 'partners'

Articles

On Multiple Dominants

On Multiple Dominants

There is an almost universal level of acceptance for the ‘idea’ of one man or ‘Dominant’ having many or multiple partners or submissives. What is less visible but equally common is the identical phenomenon within submissives.

1 comment Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Relationships
Ask the Readers – In Poly, do all partners have other partners?

Ask the Readers – In Poly, do all partners have other partners?

I am looking for opinions on whether or not poly means both sides of the slash should be able to have other partners.

5 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships
My Partner Is Hanging On to an Old Relationship

My Partner Is Hanging On to an Old Relationship

It is very difficult to lead somebody. Exponentially so when she answers to another.

1 comment Posted by Mrs. Darling | Posted in: Ask Anything

Where To Go to Find a Kinky or D/s Partner: The Big List

From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 4/5/14 I think the most frequent question on every novices lips is, “where do I go to find people, partners and relationships now that I’ve found kink and D/s?” It’s a huge hurdle to get over and something that everyone seeks. A partner. A lover. A relationship. It’s not as [...]

13 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Relationships
You Can Not Make Someone Be a Dominant

You Can Not Make Someone Be a Dominant

I’ve written on the site about how you can work with the partner you have to bring out their Dominance or feel submissive in a subtle way and because of that I have received a lot of messages of frustrated people trying to make their partner dominate them. The scenario seems to be the same, [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Relationships
"Barbed Wire" Image courtesy of nuttakit at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Single In The Scene Part VI: Vulnerability

I’m of the opinion that there are many slaves who are unowned for one reason: fear of being vulnerable. The way relationships tend to flow in the vanilla world vulnerability isn’t a necessity to maintain the relationship. Usually most are not surrendering to their partners and both tend to rest assured that they are equals [...]

1 comment Posted by charmed blyss | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Mindset, Personal Growth, Relationships, Service
Ask lunaKM – Consideration Periods, Apologetic Sympathy and Sub in the Bedroom – Equal in Everything Else

Ask lunaKM – Consideration Periods, Apologetic Sympathy and Sub in the Bedroom – Equal in Everything Else

Hi lunaKM, I’m semi new to m/s relationships and my new dom and i have been together for a month now. I wanted to know how long does a consideration period last, and should I wait for him to bring up being collared? We agreed to take it slow but we are still very much [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything
Ask lunaKM – New Kink Relationship, Seeking Daddy Doms and Resources to Help Those Coming Out Kinky

Ask lunaKM – New Kink Relationship, Seeking Daddy Doms and Resources to Help Those Coming Out Kinky

Dear lunaKM, I just met a man that is a dom, I am very interested in this lifestyle but also VERY new to it. We are both interested in each other and are both looking for a vanilla life outside the bedroom. My question is how do I start a relationship without jumping in bed [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything
Ask lunaKM – Relationship Stress, Cruising Protocol and Poly Issues

Ask lunaKM – Relationship Stress, Cruising Protocol and Poly Issues

Dear lunaKM, I’ve been a sub for about 6 mo now…online Dom. (this is my first experience being a sub) I have a lot of respect for Him, but can’t get my act together enough to obey everything He wants me to do. I am overwhelmed with my personal life and work and the stress [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything
Ask lunaKM – Pushing Limits, Exploring as a Top and Talking to Therapists

Ask lunaKM – Pushing Limits, Exploring as a Top and Talking to Therapists

Dear lunaKM, I am a new submissive.  I have been in a relationship with my Dominant for about a year.  I am struggling because my Dominant wants me to explore and push my limits.  He knows that I have had group sex experiences in my past and that they were not positive.   He knows [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything
Keys to a Successful Relationship-It’s All About Communication

Keys to a Successful Relationship-It’s All About Communication

This is the first in an ongoing series where I will be writing about key factors it takes to have a successful relationship. This first article is about the importance that communication plays in our relationships. Awhile ago, I came across this article in the NY Times about how BDSM has become a bit more [...]

6 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Ask lunaKM – Independence, Differences between Slave and Bottom, Markers and Full Attention

Ask lunaKM – Independence, Differences between Slave and Bottom, Markers and Full Attention

Sometimes I get questions that only require a short answer. Here are a few of the more recent ones. What would you do if your dominant stopped recognizing and acknowledging you as a submissive person and instead encouraged you to be independent and self sufficient. Being submissive does not mean you are not independent or [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything
This is Not a Game – BDSM is My Life

This is Not a Game – BDSM is My Life

I am a tumblr whore. There’s no other way to describe it. I spend way too much time on there looking for pictures. Most of the pictures I re-blog and most of those who I follow post lifestyle related pictures. I am very particular about the pictures that I re-blog. The pictures that I post [...]

1 comment Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Community
The Role of a Collar in a Long Distance D/s Relationship

The Role of a Collar in a Long Distance D/s Relationship

Welcome kallista to Submissive Guide contributors! It’s no secret that having a working long distance relationship is a challenge, even under the most traditional circumstances, but when the dynamics of your relationship are dependent upon the delicate balance of give and take between Dominant and submissive, the potential challenges that you face increase tenfold. When [...]

2 comments Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Online Submission
Male Submission – Fantasy vs Reality

Male Submission – Fantasy vs Reality

In part 1 of my series of articles on male submission I wrote about one archetype of male submission “The Worm.”  For clarification, a large majority of male submissives do not fit that mindset as there are plenty of other dynamics. However, one topic which is common to many male submissives is that the fantasy [...]

25 comments Posted by ted_subby | Posted in: Male Submission

What are Red Flags?

This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. When discussing potential dating partners or relationships it is often a common question to ask if there are any red flags about the person that you feel or have [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Glossary
What Everyone Ought to Know About Finding and Managing Limits

What Everyone Ought to Know About Finding and Managing Limits

From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 12/1/12 We are surrounded by boundaries and fences, limits and “do no pass” signs. Everything we do has limitations and restrictions. So, it may come as no surprise that you too have limits that you will not cross; be it in your relationship or pertaining to sex and play. Some [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Play and Sex
Tearing Down the Green-Eyed Monster – Handling Jealousy

Tearing Down the Green-Eyed Monster – Handling Jealousy

From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 10/20/12 Jealousy. At one time or another we all have felt it. Handling jealousy when it comes to our partners is a trait we all should have, but many don’t. We get spiteful, possessive and plain horrible when we feel jealousy rear it’s green pointy head. Some people are more [...]

2 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Personal Growth
Submissive Advent – Day 15: Our Needs Reclaimed

Submissive Advent – Day 15: Our Needs Reclaimed

Today is day 15 of the Submissive Advent Calendar. If you missed yesterday’s post you can go back to that now, or rewind all the way to the beginning. You can also read the introduction post. Being submissive, we often forget that our needs are important and may even push them aside so that we can focus only [...]

2 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Advent Calendar

What is Non-sexual Play?

This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. If somebody said to you that they only wanted to have non-sexual play, how would you interpret this? Does it mean no intercourse but oral is ok? Does it [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Glossary
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