Domesticity: The Bathroom

Last month we were in the kitchen, this month I want to walk you through cleaning and maintaining a tidy bathroom. I feel that cleanliness in the bathroom shows guests how important cleanliness is in your home and your own person. While I currently don’t have much more than a hallway sized bathroom with a shower at the end of it, one day I do hope to have a pleasant and inviting retreat for weary bodies.

Danae on Domestic Servitude has put together a fabulous Fall Cleaning list for every room of the house. You can download the PDF of the bathroom cleaning list here! Below is my general cleaning list for the bathroom. You can make yours more detailed and edit it for your own home.

Bathroom Cleaning Checklist

1. Scrub toilet
2. Scrub shower (I don’t have a tub)
3. Replace towels
4. Wipe down and scrub sink
5. Sweep and mop
6. Refill soap
7. Check/replace deodorizer
8. Clean mirror

Listed below are articles across the web that have helped me with my own bathroom cleaning routine. I hope that they can help you establish what you want to do in the bathroom to keep it inviting and clean.

Intense Bathroom Cleanup

Bathroom Cleaning and Organization

Bathroom Cleaning Tips

Cleaning the Bathroom (PDF)

How to Clean Your Bathroom

Bathroom Cleaning Tips (video)

Bathroom Cleaning Tips

Royal Flush – Bathroom Cleaning

Time Saving Bathroom Cleaning Tips

What tips do you have to making the bathroom clean and relaxing?

photo by pepo

Service With Grace

If you’ve been following Submissive Guide on twitter for any length of time you will notice an interesting blog that I have updates sent to twitter. This blog is one of distinction because it is written to aid the domestic and service oriented submissive with tasks around the house and within themselves. The blog I’m talking about is Service Savoir Faire.

Service Savoir Faire is written by namaste a service slave from Texas with a real ability to  express herself. The blog has some wonderful regular features that I’d like to highlight.

Service Book of Days

Every Monday, namaste posts the same 15 questions with personal answers and encourages others to do the same on their blog. It’s a beautiful way to focus your submissive energy and organize your thoughts on what should be done and where your mind is at. I have yet to do this task on my own for my personal blog, but I do intend to get going on it real soon. What a simple way to focus!

Friday Finds

Most Fridays, she shares with us things that might be useful for our service from all over the internet. There have been some spectacular websites recently that have helped me out with organization and cleaning and creative energy.

Menus for the Seasons

There is a numerous amount of menus with recipes for the current season. I’m sure she will be starting on the Fall menus soon and I’m looking forward to some delicious new meals to plan into my cooking repertoire.  Summer menus were full of fresh, healthy and light cooking that would bring the joy of summer into any home.

Butler’s Book Series

I’ve always wanted to know what a butler’s book is, and while I was under the assumption that it was a list of guests with their preferences documented so that whenever they showed up you could provide them their favorites and surprise them. In fact it is that and more. It’s a household manual where you document and keep all the home care processes together in one place. You can read all about the Butler’s Book series HERE.

Today’s Mantra

On the sidebar, namaste updates a quote or saying and then her reflection on it in Today’s Mantra. I find it a beautiful testament to her abilities and dedication to service. I’m sure you will enjoy it as well.

I encourage you all to visit and bookmark the site for reading, making sure you visit often. It’s a pearl of a find and one that shouldn’t be left in the deep expanse of the internet. She also runs a Yahoo group on service, which you can find at Service Excellence.

Attending Your Dominant [Day 6 - 2WBSP]

In the previous posts we covered basic positions that should now be familiar and perhaps you have worked out in your relationship that you want to employ them. If you need to review you can do that by going to the initial post. Today we will be learning an active position and one that can take on many forms.

Attending your Dominant can come in many ways, but the most common is when you are out mingling with people and you need to be available for subtle and conspicuous service. Entertain the idea for a moment that you are at a conference and are walking beside your Dominant and they are collecting brochures, free items and business cards, talking with people and generally engaging in the event. What could you provide them to make their interactions more smooth and comfortable?

Some of the things this post will cover is how to accept items for safekeeping, supplying items as they are needed and being prepared for anything your Dominant might need. Please feel free to customize the positions and ideas for your relationship.

Situation 1

You are instructed to be available to carry items as they are picked up. You position in relation to your Dominant should be on their dominant hand side. This way as they pick things up and decide to keep them, they do not have to cross their body or turn to give the item to you. You should quietly accept the item and secure it so that you hands are as free as possible to continue accepting items. This could be with the use of a basket, shopping cart or bag.

In a formal setting where your status can be more visible, this could include hand positions; one behind the back, and the other crossed at the front, palm up. This way when an item is handed to you, you are prepared to accept it with little movement. Try to stand right now and hold your hands this way. When walking you could place both hands behind your back and as soon as you are stopped, move it to the front to show availablity to take items.

Situation 2

Your position is to provide items such as business cards, pen and paper or other items as your Dominant needs them. In this role you are to actively engage with your Dominant’s actions without invading their space. If you are not part of the exchange or activity you should be humble and silent. You could even try to keep your eyes lowered to show that you are not a part of the activity, but be ready for items.

My hope for this position, is that you do whatever offering gracefully and as effortless as possible. Standing at attention is good for this situation, but organization is imperative. Have whatever items your Dominant has asked to be available within easy reach and organized so you don’t have to hunt for them. Business cards should be kept crisp and neat in a case, pen and paper could have a nice folder or case as well. Other items should show your care for them and hunting for them in your purse or bag is inappropriate and shows your unpreparedness.

Situation 3

The last situation is more about preparedness and is a learned trait as you know what the basic expectations are of you in situations where your attentiveness is needed. Start watching your Dominant engaging in different situations and see what they use or are of need of. Do they hunt for a pen? What about needing to consult a calendar? Are they frequently forgetting their sunglasses? These are things you could be the custodian for and then they never have to go hunting for them.

How is your presence unique in these situations? Can you make your Dominant more comfortable or easily provide information? Seek the uniqueness of your relationship and develop an attentive position or two for those moments.

Tomorrow we will be covering Serving Food and Drink.

photo by lepiaf.geo

10 Helpful Websites for the Busy Submissive

Sometimes you just need that extra bit of help out of your day or want to have all the tips and tricks on a certain activity. Well I have pulled together some of the best websites out there that will help you get though your difficult day in a breeze.

1. TipNut.com – This site has all the household tips, craft projects, recipes, kitchen & cooking tips and other neat-o hints that you could ever want when it comes to organizing your home. I’ve just recently come to find this site, and have fallen in love.

2. Lifehacker.com – Full of downloads and tips that you can use to make your life easier. I’ve found a lot of one-click applications that speed up my website work and browsing.

3. The Fresh Loaf – This site contains featured recipes, lessons, book reviews, a community forum and recipe exchange, and baker blogs. So please take some time to look around. It’s made with the amateur in mind.

4. Chore Buster – Organize your chores and household plans and have the calendar emailed to you (or each person gets their own list emailed) weekly or monthly as reminder on what to do. You can split the chores among family members and set the difficulty of chores so that your 6 year old doesn’t get something they aren’t capable of doing!

5. The Dollar Stretcher – Learning how to be frugal and save money in this tight economy! Excellent tips and ideas to keep your money where it belongs. In your pocket.

6. FlyLady.net – This is the first stop for any submissive wanting to organize your life. She’s an online coach to a tidy home and trust me, it works! I made my household binder based on her ideas and I enjoy adding to it every week.

7. Recipezaar – A recipe index with thousands of recipes, the ability to save recipes in your own cookbook for bookmarking purposes and submit your own recipes. I love the quantity adjustment feature so that I can increase and decrease the number or servings without calculation errors!

8. Moms Buzz – Mom’s Buzz keeps you in the loop with useful beauty tips, fun and easy recipes, awesome activities for kids (even the grownup ones) – and a hefty dose of humor to make you smile!

9. To Done! – A regularly updated collection of thoughts, writings, tips, tricks and information on personal productivity, work/life balance and getting things done.

10. Google Calendar – Google’s calendar allows you to make your schedule, receive reminders and alerts, share calendars with other Google users and view it from anywhere with an internet connection. You can even send out invites for parties and other things. It’s great for bills, birthdays and other special events as well as everyday tasks and chores.

Well, that’s a starting list, but I know you all have excellent websites you love to use and would recommend to anyone struggling to find time in their day for everything. What websites do you like?

Creating a Daily Cleaning Routine

Maintaining a clean home can take on a life of its own. There is only a small number of submissives that can live the dream of being an at home submissive. Most of us have outside jobs and families and commitments that leave the housework low on the priority list. My goal for you today is to pick up an easy to do, low time commitment way to keep your house clean and looking good.

It doesn’t have to be a headache every time you arrive home and see the house in disarray. With these easy to implement steps you can keep the house maintained in just a few minutes each day. These may seem obvious, or common sense ideas but they really do work and with just a few minutes each day can free your time to meet the other demands of your day.

Sure you can continue to say you don’t have time everyday and then stress when you have to spend 2 hours or more every weekend cleaning what could have already been maintained all week long. Make the point to change your thinking. Start small and it will make a difference. Develop the habit. Even if you are great at home care, these ideas could help cut down the amount of time you take cleaning your house each day.

To do lists

To do lists are a great way to get started in a cleaning routine. Plan out your day when you have five minutes in the morning by writing down five things you need to do around the house that day. Then when you have a few minutes when you get home from work or picking up the kids take a look at your list and try to accomplish one of the items on your list. Feel great when you can cross it off. Try to do three of the things on your list that day. Each day you can come up with three new things to add to your existing list. The idea is to not put off items more than two days.

15 min blast

The 15 minute blast is more like a game. You need to have a kitchen timer. The microwave timer works in a pinch. Set the timer in a room you need to clean and do as much as you can for the 15 minutes that you have before the timer goes off.

For me I then go do something I want to do for the next hour or so, then play the ‘game’ again. I can get the whole room clean in about 3 timed sessions. It makes me feel good and I’ve enjoyed the free time too. You can play the game whenever you have a few minutes.

Involve the kids

Yes we usually give the kids chores and I know when I was growing up I had to do them in order to get allowance each week. But I admit I put it off as long as possible. If we give the kids the same timer game that we play each day, they could help you keep the house clean and get the allowance they are looking forward to.

If we make cleaning fun and part of our daily activities with kids then it could instill a desire to keep things picked up. Picking things up as we go along is a very valuable trait that you family could nurture in children. This would ultimately cut down on the amount of cleaning that needs to be done. I wish I had picked up that trait; instead of letting things get as bad as they do here before having to do the 15 min blast or a to do list.

Home Control and Management Journal

A Home Control Journal is an organizational tool used in many households to keep things clean, organized and a home running smoothly. You can put cleaning lists, meal plans, finances and so much more inside a binder that is your go to guide for everything to do with your home. The link will take you to google search if you want more information on how to make on, or stay tuned. I plan to share what I have in mine and how I developed it.

If you still have a mess to deal with before friends are visiting, here’s a fantastic article to help you out.

THE 10-MINUTE RESCUE by Mrs. Mary Hunt

(If you know where I can find the original source of this article, please let me know, thanks)

The phone rings. Surprise! Long lost friends will be at your front door in 10 minutes. You have no time to clean the house. What you need is a 10-minute rescue. This is a terrific technique you should learn right now, and then keep tucked away for that time when despite your best efforts, you’re caught in a jam. So, are you ready? Go!

1. Set a small pan of water over medium heat. Dump in spices like cinnamon, allspice and cloves and leave it to heat.
2. Grab a box or grocery bag. Move through the house starting in the kitchen clearing counters, coffee tables, end tables and all other flat surfaces of clutter. Just scoop everything into the container and stash it in a closet.
3. Gather all bathroom clutter including towels, stuff lining the walls and ledges of the tub and shower, toys, and all the stuff on the vanity and deposit it in the tub or shower. Draw the curtain.
4. Clean all the flat surfaces you have just cleared using furniture polish or all-purpose cleaner as appropriate.
5. Empty the kitchen sink of dishes, pots and so on using the stash methods described above if necessary. The oven and dishwasher are handy hiding places. Scrub the sink, rinse quickly and perform a quick polish.
6. Starting at the front door vacuum the visible areas.
7. Light the candles and the fireplace.
8. Switch on the stereo and turn down the lights.

Whew! You made it. The house looks great. Smells good, too. Enjoy your company and when they are gone, take a few more minutes to go through the box in the closet, the pile in the tub and, above all, anything you stashed in the oven!

Final Thoughts

Routines take time to develop. What you should try to do is take the smaller steps pointed out here until it becomes habit. Habits become the routines that you don’t even have to think about; just like the order of your morning tasks or how you prepare for bed. Cleaning can become easy and stress free.

Do you have any tips to pass on? I’d love to hear them!

The Meaning Behind Service and Serving

When someone becomes a submissive for the first time and finds a dominant the first words I generally hear them say is that they like being of service or they like serving. When asked what it is about service that they enjoy it tends to boil down to sex and play. There is far more to service than the play, and believe me, there are submissives that don’t even play but find fulfillment in service.

Service is any activity or function that you fill to make your dominant partner’s life easier. This could be as simple as preparing their coffee, laying out their clothes for them or performing domestic chores. Yes, it does include the play and sex aspects of some relationships, but not all of them are wired this way.

Take for example a domestic submissive. What calls them to serve is completely different than a service submissive (more on this term later). Each of them gains happiness and fulfillment out of the services they provide their dominant partner, but the service they provide can be very different. Many times a domestic submissive will have minimal or no sexual interaction with their owner. I’ve even been propositioned by a few male domestics that all they want to do is come and clean my house. It’s the pleasure of cleaning for someone that they want to enjoy.

So, what does it mean to be of service to your dominant? Does it mean you will be doing the chores around the house, caring for family or pets, perhaps paying the bills and running errands? Could it mean you are a personal assistant and keep your partner in check, organized and prepared for everything the day may throw at them? Or are you the sex object that fills every fantasy and whim without a moment’s hesitation? All of these things are service. Some other things that can service items can include:

• cooking
• cleaning
• grooming
• health
• personal trainer
• pet care
• home repair
• car repair
• organization
• event planning
• child care
• chauffeur
• scheduling
• secretarial
• intellectual conversationalist

Discover Your Purpose in Service

Finding your meaning in service isn’t always easy. You have to start with what you want and need out of a relationship. I’ve written a whole series about Wants and Needs that you can refer to if you need help figuring these things out. Once you’ve identified what you need, you can develop the services around it that will feed your needs. If you require structure, you could develop a Home Control Journal. If you like to be a hostess and use anticipatory service you could have a Butler’s Book. Perhaps you would like to develop your sexual service skills or your personal assistant skills and learn how to properly bathe and clothe someone. The possibilities are endless.

Service Submissives

There is a type of submissive that seeks only to serve. In this passion there is happiness and joy to be asked to do even menial tasks. They may derive pleasure from things other than sexual connection or play. Service Submissives can become domestics, personal assistants, chauffeurs, and handmaids.

What makes this type of submissive so special is their ability to adapt to whatever service their partner requires of them with little adjustment period. Service Submissives can bring pleasure to their dominant with little effort. It is my opinion that service submissives are rare and unique people. Not everyone can be a service submissive, but if you are one, you are worth your weight in gold and then some. All other submissives most likely look up to you for your ability to serve so smoothly.

Here are some of my ideas of what a service submissive might be.

• Personal secretary; taking calls, answering the door, responding to emails, scheduling and coffee fetching.
• Body servant; bathing, shaving, grooming and overall health care of the dominant.
• Escort; social elitist with the ability to bring attention to your owner, chat about all sorts of world topics and look beautiful on their arm.
• Service Top; when an owner is a masochist it may be requested that the submissive learn play activities to service the top.

Do you have any other ideas of what a service submissive can be? Share them in the comments!

Now that you have a better understanding of what service is, how can you use your talents to create your service resume? What services do you provide your owner? What services would they like you to learn or enhance?

Discovering Your Submissive Nature

Discovering your submissive nature isn’t always a sudden process. For many people it takes some soul searching to see that you may enjoy being a people-pleaser or that when someone asks you to do something you happily do it without a second thought. For others it takes some social reprogramming to allow your full nature to come out.

There are two identified forms of submission; natural and learned. Of these two it is more common to be a learned submissive. Natural submission is not just about always wanting to make someone happy, but the inner joy and peace that comes automatically without any training. For those submissives that have it naturally, serving a dominant becomes second nature quite easily.

Learned submission takes a lot more effort but is just as rewarding. It may begin with a small pang of happiness when you have done something that makes your dominant happy. As you continue to achieve that praise your mind begins to rewrite the social coding for serving. Once your behaviors have been changed by either training or self-taught behavior modification you can not tell a natural submissive apart from a learned submissive. The joy in serving is equal.

When Do You Learn

Learning you are submissive for most people is an acceptance of themselves. Societal behaviors have taught us from a young age that we should help ourselves first, and that helping others in a form of service is actually lower class. The natural progression for a person to realize they are submissive is that perhaps you have always enjoyed doing things for others without a return. The return was actually the feeling of fulfillment of your purpose. This likely didn’t have the term submissive attached to it until you were introduced to the lifestyle.

Since I am a learned submissive it actually took quite a while for me to see in myself that I had an inner peace when I helped others, or when I served my Owner. For many like me, it’s a slow learning process that only you can oversee. No one can make you submissive. It will be a struggle within yourself to break down barriers and relearn traits that you thought were not a part of you.

You can’t have anyone else tell you who you are. You have to take the time to discover it yourself. You can do that by reading more about submission, talking to elder, more experienced submissives or going through a self-training program like Miss Abernathy’s Concise Slave Training Manual, now in an Omnibus called Erotic Slavehood: A Miss Abernathy Omnibus. Once you discover your nature, you can develop it and cause it to flourish and grow.

Submissive Blossoming

Once you discover that you are submissive it is almost overwhelming what you can do with it. Being submissive is not limiting, but freeing. Now you can take your talents and help and serve others with it. Identifying your talents and strengths is just the first step. You then can study and improve yourself with items that focus your submission more so your partner will better benefit from your service.

Are you good at organization? Maybe cooking and baking makes you happy? What about personal safety or escort service? The activities you enjoy can now be a part of your service to a potential owner. Take a course to enhance your knowledge or buy some study manuals. Learning is never frowned upon in a submissive.

What about things you want to learn? Make a short list now of all the things you’d love to learn. Make a mark next to them if they would be considered a help to someone else. This could be massage, event planning, machinery, home repair, crafts, writing and beauty care to name a few. Anything can be a talent to bring to your service. The more services you know and hone to your best ability the more valuable you become to your Owner.

Bring Pride to Your Submission

Developing your personal pride in your submission provides a glow of happiness to your role, your heart and your relationship. Humbly allowing your joy in serving to radiate around you increases your personal worth and can cheer others. The passion for service is something rarely cultured enough to be of value in this materialistic, hurried world. Allow your fulfillment to drive you to do good for not only yourself, but others.

Your submissive nature is unique. No one submits in exactly the same way and it is impossible to really define submission in a general manner because of this. A habit of mine, and will continue though this site is that a submissive is one who serves, in any capacity desired. Slaves are also considered submissives with this definition. While it is discussed in many many places that slaves and submissives are separate, for the sake of discussion here I’d like to join the idea of service to both roles.

Allow you submissive nature to mold you and bring you happiness. It is the driving force in life.