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Browse: Home / novices

novices

Why Safety is Preached to Novices and Why It’s Important to Know Anyway

By lunaKM on June 4, 2010

From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 3/3/10 Being in the BDSM community for any length of time you are likely to come across the common sermons of SSC, Safe Calls and First Meeting Safety. When you are novice in BDSM I’d encourage you to listen to these sermons and listen hard; they could protect you as [...]

Posted in Newsletter Archive, Safety | Tagged advice, basics, community, lifestyle, mantra, newsletter, novices, red flags, rules, safe call, Safety, SSC, submissive guide newsletter | 1 Response

Novice Q&A – February Edition

By lunaKM on February 24, 2010

Novice Q & A is for you to ask questions about things you’d like more information on, advice you are looking for or anything else. You can even ask me personal questions! My inbox is always open so you can send me questions whenever they occur. Last month I answered questions about appropriate greetings and topping [...]

Posted in Novice Q & A | Tagged advice, answers, ask me, emotions, information, novices, questions, series, understanding | Leave a response

Novice Q & A – January Edition

Novice Q & A – January Edition

By lunaKM on January 25, 2010

This year I’m starting a new series of posts that will occur once a  month just like the Roundtable did last year. Novice Q & A is for you to ask questions about things you’d like more information on, advice you are looking for or anything else. You can even ask me personal questions! My [...]

Posted in Novice Q & A | Tagged ask me, comfort, munch, munches, novices, questions, topping from the bottom | Leave a response

The Top 30 Posts of 2009

By lunaKM on January 5, 2010

A year ago I started a small blog project called Submissive Guide. I wanted it to be an organized place where I could voice my opinions about submission, help novices discover who they are and explore BDSM through the written word. Since that time it has grown to so much more, including an e-book, a [...]

Posted in Views & More... | Tagged 2WBSP, 7 things, aftercare, Aria, bath, bathing, BDSM, bdsm checklist, bdsm lifestyle, best of 2009, best of submissiveguide, Best Submissive Blogs, blogs, book, bottom, checklist, choice, Dom, Dominance, dominant, dominants, e-book, guest post, help, how-to, human pet, journaling, kajira, learned, learning, lifestyle, masochist, newsletter, novice, novices, online, Online Submission, opinion, owned, pet play, pets, play, positions, resume, ritual, rituals, rosary, rt, rules, scene, Service, skylerpet, slave, slave training, sub drop, submission, submissive, submissive blogs, Submissive Positions, top posts, topping from the bottom, training, Training Resume, two dominants, websites, writing | Leave a response

SubWise #2: Advice You Swear By

By lunaKM on September 30, 2009

Last week I asked you to share some advice that you live by or love passing on to novices because it worked so well for you. Here’s the submissions I got. There is some excellent advice here folks! Check it out. Make sure you leave comments! Participants, repost the link list within a week and [...]

Posted in SubWise | Tagged advice, blogs, carnival, journey, love, novice, novices, rt, share, submission, submission carnival, submissions, submissive, SubWise | 2 Responses

Should There Be Clear Definitions to Label Yourself In This Lifestyle?

By lunaKM on September 25, 2009

So, you’ve met submissives and slaves online, their Dominant and Master counterparts but as you get to know them and how they interact you start to see the things they do blurring the lines of what you had believed a submissive was, or that a slave wasn’t supposed to act this way, etc. It brings [...]

Posted in Social Norms, Submission | Tagged comfort, definitions, Dom, dominant, help, labels, learning, lifestyle, munch, novice, novices, online, rt, slave, submission, submissive | 11 Responses

The Safety Disguise of Safewords

The Safety Disguise of Safewords

By lunaKM on September 21, 2009

I’ve always believed that safewords are only good if you know how to use them. Good ole communication is great for things like numb limbs, an itch you can’t reach or a bathroom break.  Submissive Guide is here for novices and it’s always good to teach about safewords and recommend that you have one. In [...]

Posted in Safety | Tagged acceptance, advice, bath, BDSM, bdsm play, beginning bdsm, blogs, book, communication, cons, consensual, danger, desires, Dom, dominant, information, kajira, learned, needs, negotiation, novice, novices, partners, play, relationship, Relationships, risk, rt, safe, Safety, safewords, sane, security, share, stress, submissive, trust | 2 Responses

Review: The New Bottoming Book

Review: The New Bottoming Book

By lunaKM on August 21, 2009

This month’s book review is of one of the books I gave away in the July Book Contest. The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy (formerly Lady Green) is a great beginner’s guide to bottoming. According to the authors, this “new version” contains much of the original advice, like “connecting” and [...]

Posted in Reviews | Tagged advice, amazon.com, BDSM, beginning bdsm, Bondage, book, book review, books, bottom, chat, chat room, chat rooms, checklist, contest, decisions, Dossie Easton, dress, fantasy, help, information, internet, Janet W. Hardy, negotiation, nervousness, New Bottoming Book, novice, novices, online, play, review, role play, rt, scene, short, skills, submission, submissive, tips | Leave a response

The Many Faces of Submission

The Many Faces of Submission

By lunaKM on July 22, 2009

Types of submissives come in as many varieties as wines; there is one for every palette and preference. When someone tells you that you are submissive and you finally admit to yourself that you are submissive, which can be a journey itself, you can figure out how your submission differs from another by what type [...]

Posted in Submission | Tagged BDSM, bdsm lifestyle, bottom, clean, control, Dom, dominant, fetlife, information, journey, lifestyle, love, novice, novices, owned, partners, play, power exchange, preference, relationship, role play, roles, rt, sex, sexual pleasure, share, slave, spanking, submission, submissive, surrender, surrendering, trust | 4 Responses

Dominance as a Slave Training Tool for Better Submission

By lunaKM on June 4, 2009

When starting out in submission, there are a lot of roads you can choose and so many people direct novices to training and needing to be trained. Most of these novices then seek out a Master or Dominant to train them. This concept that the Dominant can teach the submissive more about surrender is a [...]

Posted in Mindset, Submission | Tagged advice, assistance, deeper submission, development, Dom, Dominance, dominant, dominants, experience, focus, fulfillment, help, information, journey, learning, love, mentor, novice, novices, questions, relationship, rt, rules, self-discovery, slave, slave training, submission, submissive, submissive training, submissive understanding, surrender, switch, training | Leave a response

Recommended Reading for New Submissives

Recommended Reading for New Submissives

By lunaKM on May 26, 2009

The following is a list of books that I recommend for every novice submissive. The links lead you to Amazon if you are interested in buying the books. Part of your purchase goes towards supporting this site and my efforts at continuing to bring you content on this site. Books Learning the Ropes: A Basic [...]

Posted in BDSM Basics | Tagged advice, amazon.com, basics, BDSM Basics, bdsm books, bdsm reading, Bondage, book, book list, books, communication, community, discussion, Dom, Dominance, dominant, endorphins, experience, explanations, female, Gloria Brahme, how-to, Impact, impact play, learning, leather, lifestyle, links, love, Masochism, molly devon, myths, negotiation, novice, novices, partners, philip miller, play, player, recommendations, recommended reading, relationship, Relationships, Resources, romance, rt, Sadism, safe, Safety, sane, scene, screw the roses, sensuous, sex, sexual dominance, slave, submission, submissive, support, tips, toy, toys, wants, William Brahme | 1 Response

Etiquette at Play Parties

By lunaKM on May 11, 2009

Each social situation we expose ourselves to has it’s own set of rules and behaviors. This is also true of BDSM events, perhaps even moreso. A play party will have different rules at each location you may attend one. There will be established rules as well as house/location rules. There are also unspoken rules that [...]

Posted in BDSM Basics, Playtime | Tagged advice, BDSM, BDSM event, bdsm events, Dom, dominant, dominants, edge play, etiquette, event, events, Gor, limits, novice, novices, play, play parties, player, protocol, relationship, Relationships, rt, rules, safe, Safety, scene, sex, social situation, sorry, specifics, submissive, titles, toy, toys, unspoken rules | Leave a response

All Female Submissives are Bisexual and Other BDSM Myths

By lunaKM on May 9, 2009

The world is full of false truths. These false truths tend to be the assumptions of the uninformed or the beliefs of those who want to scare novices out of their wits. Many of these are because of a narrow view of the world or an inability to accept varying viewpoints. In this post I’m [...]

Posted in BDSM Basics | Tagged acceptance, advice, assumptions, BDSM, bdsm lifestyle, bdsm myths, BDSM practitioner, bisexuality, deeper submission, Dom, dominant, dominants, false information, falsehoods, female, female submissives, history, information, labels, lifestyle, love, Masochism, masochist, misunderstandings, myths, normal, novice, novices, online, play, poly, polyamorous, polyamory, predators, relationship, rt, self-awareness, sex, sexual identity, sexual orientation, share, slave, standing, submission, submissive, switch, tall, titles, understanding, viewpoints | 4 Responses

Why the Word ‘Training’ Confuses Novices

Why the Word ‘Training’ Confuses Novices

By lunaKM on April 4, 2009

The word ‘training’ is a stumbling block for many novices and experienced submissives alike. The reason for this is that so many define training as the organized learning of behavior and activities in structured sessions or steps and that once complete, your training is complete. Let’s dispel that myth right now. Submissive and slave training [...]

Posted in BDSM Basics, Service | Tagged activities, attitude, basics, BDSM, D/s, definitions, Dom, dominant, dominants, dynamic, experience, learned, learning, melly, needs, novice, novices, relationship, rt, Service, slave, slave training, specifics, structure, submissive, submissive training, training | 1 Response

4 Things to Look for in a Mentor

4 Things to Look for in a Mentor

By lunaKM on April 2, 2009

There are mentors in every area of life and situation. In BDSM it is sometimes recommended to newbies to pick up a mentor, but are never given the tools to find a mentor that is right for them. I know that when I first started out there were good people to be around and not [...]

Posted in BDSM Basics, Safety, Submission | Tagged advice, BDSM, BDSM mentors, comfort, cons, definitions, finding a mentor, focus, friends, get advice, growth, health, help, information, instructional, interview, lifestyle, mentor, mentor search, newbies, novice, novices, questions, real world, relationship, Relationships, rt, safe, safewords, sister, slave, specifics, stress, submission, submissive, tips, training, vetting | 1 Response

Review: Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns

Review: Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns

By lunaKM on March 23, 2009

If you’ve been around the BDSM and D/s scene at all there is one of many books that always comes up in conversation as a good book to read when you are new to the whole lifestyle. This book is Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by [...]

Posted in Reviews | Tagged abuse, advice, amazon.com, basics, BDSM, Bondage, book, books, community, cons, consensual, D/s, danger, Dom, Dominance, dominant, emotions, endorphins, etiquette, experience, explanations, female, help, Impact, impact play, information, kinky, learning, library, lifestyle, limits, love, manners, Masochism, molly devon, negotiation, novice, novices, philip miller, play, player, recommended reading, relationship, Relationships, review, roles, romance, rt, safe, Safety, sane, scene, screw the roses, sex, SSC, standing, submission, submissive, support, tips, toy, toys, tricks, understanding | 2 Responses

What is a Mentor?

By lunaKM on March 10, 2009

This week’s video tip is about mentors. A mentor is a person more experienced in certain aspects of life than you are. They are also more open to varying viewpoints, have a desire to teach and aide others. A mentor is a role model and a very special counselor to those they council. In business [...]

Posted in BDSM Basics, Video Posts | Tagged advice, BDSM, communication, development, Dom, dominant, experience, get advice, help, learning, mentor, movement, novice, novices, questions, rt, skills, submission, submissive, training, value, viewpoints | 2 Responses

What Is Slave Training?

By lunaKM on February 24, 2009

In this week’s video tip I talk about what training is to a submissive and the value it has to a D/s relationship. When someone thinks of slave training, what is the first thing that pops into your mind? Is it a submissive on their knees going through the paces that their Dominant puts them? [...]

Posted in Service, Video Posts | Tagged activities, amazon.com, attitude, behavior changes, book, books, cons, consensual, D/s, Dom, Dominance, dominant, dominants, female, Gor, help, m/s, newsletter, novice, novices, positions, protocol, punishment, questions, relationship, Relationships, rt, rules, Service, single, slave, slave training, slavery, speech, submission, submissive, submissive training, training, value | 7 Responses

Online Encounters and the Danger of Blind Faith

Online Encounters and the Danger of Blind Faith

By lunaKM on February 18, 2009

As a  novice submissive in this technology age you typically explore submission online in chat room and in instant messaging. There is nothing wrong with this avenue for dipping your toe in the water. There are, however, very real dangers that predators use to capture novices and can do more harm to your curiosity than [...]

Posted in Online Submission, Safety | Tagged activities, BDSM, blind faith, book, chat, chat room, cons, D/s, danger, dangers, Dom, dominant, health, information, internet, learned, natural, negotiation, novice, novices, online, online D/s, Online dating, online experiences, predators, purpose, questions, rt, Safety, sex, single, stress, submission, submissive, trust, wants | Leave a response

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