Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

Articles for tag 'novice'

Articles

7 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Was New to BDSM

7 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Was New to BDSM

There is always time for a bit of education and knowledge before exploration. It can keep you safe, it can make you more aware, it can keep you safe and it can be fun. What 7 things did I learn that I wish I had known a LONG time ago?

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Personal Growth
Finding Your Way to a Genuine Self

Finding Your Way to a Genuine Self

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 7-12-14 When you first learned about submission or BDSM you may have felt a sense of coming home, of finally understanding what wasn’t sitting right for you. But along with that relief come questions. You thought you knew who you were, and now  you’ve been thrown into a new world [...]

2 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Mindset, Newsletter Archive
Why That Dominant You Found Online Just Disappeared After a Short Time

Why That Dominant You Found Online Just Disappeared After a Short Time

Here’s a scenario I get presented to me a lot in my email and pleas for help and advice: A submissive talks to a person identifying as Dominant online for a few hours, days or weeks. They have intimate talks, compatibility seems to be through the roof and the cyber sex and play, webcams or [...]

12 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics

Making Him the Dom of Your Dreams – Working With The Man You Have

Oftentimes we find our desire to be submissive or kinky when we are already in a relationship and are not sure really how to proceed with that. It can come as a shock to try to force your desires on your partner and if you address the subject without their thoughts in mind it could [...]

6 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Relationships

How to Turn Your Submissive Experience Into Education for Your Dominant

From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 6/1/13 We don’t often think about the submissive having anything to teach the Dominant, and in many cases a Dominant is teaching the submissive. There’s nothing wrong with that, but when the submissive has more experience or learning in an area it does make it easier if the Dominant is [...]

5 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Relationships, Service
Take the Bite Out of Submitting to Pain – Sadomasochism Is Not a Part of Submission

Take the Bite Out of Submitting to Pain – Sadomasochism Is Not a Part of Submission

I’m here to break the news to you about a piece of misinformation about submissives. Are you ready? You do not have to like pain or be a masochist to be submissive. That’s it. That piece of news right there leads to one of the largest reasons so many of you are confused. You think [...]

5 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Ask lunaKM – Another Batch of Quick Answers

Ask lunaKM – Another Batch of Quick Answers

Hi Luna! Do you feel that another submissive would be a better Mentor to a novice submissive rather than another Dominant? I personally feel that a person of similar role to you can advise and mentor you better than someone who could be your Dominant. So if you are a slave, you should have a [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything
Source: Flikr commons http://www.so-many-places.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Tigers-fighting.jpg

What is Primal Play?

This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. Mr. Samsonite. Every group has one; you know, the guy who can’t show up to the play party without enough luggage to go on a two-week European tour? He [...]

13 comments Posted by slavekathy | Posted in: BDSM Glossary
Your Responsibilities in Play – In and Out of a Relationship

Your Responsibilities in Play – In and Out of a Relationship

From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 3/2/13 Our responsibilities as a submissive are important to be aware of. I’ve said a number of times in other articles that often novice submissives feel that once they are in a relationship they don’t have any responsibilities at all. That is far from true. Does that then mean that [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Play and Sex

What is a Scene?

This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. A very commonplace word in BDSM discussions is the word ‘scene’ but rarely do we define what that is with novices. Also, experienced people take for granted some of [...]

3 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Glossary
How to Safely Manage Sub Frenzy

How to Safely Manage Sub Frenzy

When I realized that my previous article on Sub Frenzy didn’t give you any advice on how to tackle it head on I knew I just had to get an article to you about how to manage sub frenzy so that it leaves you smarter, stronger and more prepared to handle the rush. What is [...]

5 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Why You Should Know the Truth About Topping from the Bottom

Why You Should Know the Truth About Topping from the Bottom

Topping from the bottom is a feared act for novices because it holds a negative connotation that the person is somehow not submissive if they top from the bottom. It’s whispered and screamed in all of the online forums dealing with BDSM and most of those talk about it with disdain and shame the people [...]

7 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics
[Video Post] I Need Help Finding a Mentor

[Video Post] I Need Help Finding a Mentor

Hi LunaKM, The dominant I have been seeing the past 2 months introduced me to your site.  I was wondering how I can get a submissive mentor?  I’d like to talk about things with someone that has experience.  I am on fetlife but I don’t love posting things where everyone can see.  Can you help [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Beginner Basics
Single Submissives Need Personal Responsibility

Single Submissives Need Personal Responsibility

From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 1/5/13 Your personal responsibility is one of the most important tools in a single submissive’s arsenal. It keeps you safe and protected from the most common predators, it will help you learn and grow while waiting and often has a positive result if maintained once you are no longer single. [...]

Recapturing Common Sense

Recapturing Common Sense

This essay that I wrote was first published on humbledfemales.net, but has since taken on new ownership and the article was removed (not sure why). I am now sharing it here because it is good common sense! A submissive’s best protection is her gut instinct. Waking up the fantasies we’ve only held close to our hearts and [...]

2 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Personal Growth

What are Red Flags?

This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. When discussing potential dating partners or relationships it is often a common question to ask if there are any red flags about the person that you feel or have [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Glossary

What is a Collar? What Does it Mean to be Collared?

This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. A common question with novices is what is being collared, what does it mean? Is it like a wedding ring or something more? Something different altogether? First, some basic [...]

22 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Glossary
What Everyone Ought to Know About Finding and Managing Limits

What Everyone Ought to Know About Finding and Managing Limits

From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 12/1/12 We are surrounded by boundaries and fences, limits and “do no pass” signs. Everything we do has limitations and restrictions. So, it may come as no surprise that you too have limits that you will not cross; be it in your relationship or pertaining to sex and play. Some [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Play and Sex
How Do I Know What I Like? I’m Brand New

How Do I Know What I Like? I’m Brand New

From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 11/17/12 Everyone started here at some point or another. You may even be at this point right now. Brand new to BDSM, D/s or both and not sure what you would like in a relationship, the bedroom, with kink…. anything. And then you meet people online or face to face [...]

2 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Newsletter Archive

What is Boot Blacking?

This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. One of the specialized talents that some submissives and slaves pick up is boot blacking. It holds its tradition in the leather community as an honorable service to a [...]

3 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Glossary
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