Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

Articles for tag 'negotiation'

Articles

You Share, I Share, We All Share! No no no, that’s not right….

You Share, I Share, We All Share! No no no, that’s not right….

There is this misconception that everyone shares everyone else in play or sex such as a party and that needs to stop.

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Community, Newsletter Archive
[Video Post] Beginning BDSM: Using Safewords for Safe Play

[Video Post] Beginning BDSM: Using Safewords for Safe Play

A safeword is how you can protect yourself with a trusting partner.

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Video Posts
How to Ask for What You Need as a Submissive

How to Ask for What You Need as a Submissive

Don’t be afraid to speak up when you need or want something different. You never really stop negotiating in D/s.

10 comments Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Relationships
A Personal Story About Discovering and Testing Limits

A Personal Story About Discovering and Testing Limits

Discovering limits is almost as innocuous and confusing as exploring the kinks and fetishes we do want to play with.

Leave a comment Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: BDSM Fundamentals, Beginner Basics
Do I have to give control of everything to be submissive?

Do I have to give control of everything to be submissive?

Hello Luna, Just have been wondering something lately and I was hoping you could help out. Is it possible to be someone’s submissive if there’s one thing you just cannot give up control over? I am an incredibly picky eater and it’s actually my biggest fear in life to try new foods. I know it’s [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything

BDSM Basics: Staying Safe with SSC

In my earlier BDSM Basics videos you learned about being kinky and what roles you might like to try while you explore the great big world of BDSM. Today I’m going to talk about safety. Every new thing you try is full of risks, some you are willing to take and others you aren’t. So [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Fundamentals, Video Posts
https://www.flickr.com/photos/dlytle/7340186858

Your Kink is Not my Kink – Understanding Other People’s Kinks

The other day in a lifestyle group on Facebook, a member of the group posted a rant because she was tired of hearing about submissives and slaves being punished for stupid things, such as masturbating without permission. I was on the bus on my way home from shopping when I saw this and it upset [...]

6 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: BDSM Fundamentals, Beginner Basics
What Do You Mean When You Say Communicate? I am Communicating!

What Do You Mean When You Say Communicate? I am Communicating!

Communicate. Communicate. Communicate. People in the D/s and BDSM lifestyles love to say this word. We emphasize that it’s the cornerstone of the relationship, that it is the key to a successful relationship and that negotiation, a form of communication, needs to be done on a regular basis depending on the situation and relationship type. [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Keys to a Successful Relationship-It’s All About Communication

Keys to a Successful Relationship-It’s All About Communication

This is the first in an ongoing series where I will be writing about key factors it takes to have a successful relationship. This first article is about the importance that communication plays in our relationships. Awhile ago, I came across this article in the NY Times about how BDSM has become a bit more [...]

6 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Do You Make These Mistakes? Avoid Outing a Fellow BDSM Lifestyler

Do You Make These Mistakes? Avoid Outing a Fellow BDSM Lifestyler

There are a few “sins” in the world of BDSM; ignoring a safe word and touching that which does not belong to you are a few examples.  But, while both of these are bad, one might be able to look at a different point of view.  Someone may ignore a safe word because their scene [...]

1 comment Posted by LaneyDoll | Posted in: Community
Book Review: Playing Well with Others

Book Review: Playing Well with Others

It’s been awhile since I read a book for review on the site, but this book I have been waiting for months to be released and I was thrilled to get an autographed (and kissed) copy by donating to their release tour. Playing Well with Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, [...]

4 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Reviews
Why BDSM and Sex are Not Always Connected

Why BDSM and Sex are Not Always Connected

BDSM and Sex Sex and BDSM They do not have to go together, did you know that? While much of what we do in the bedroom can be considered sexual or sensual in nature it does not mean that you have to engage in sexual contact during play. Oftentimes during negotiation people will forget the [...]

17 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Play and Sex, Sex and Sexuality

What is Non-sexual Play?

This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. If somebody said to you that they only wanted to have non-sexual play, how would you interpret this? Does it mean no intercourse but oral is ok? Does it [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Glossary

Research Page: BDSM Checklists

As you may already know I spend a lot of time surfing the internet and reading about a lot of topics that pertain to BDSM and submission on a daily basis. One of the things I encounter almost everywhere I go are BDSM checklists. Interestingly enough it’s one of the more common requests on the [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Fundamentals
The Importance of Consent in D/s Negotiation

The Importance of Consent in D/s Negotiation

Consent and Negotiation are probably something that we think about but don’t really acknowledge daily. It is important none the less to think about and address in a Dominant/submissive relationship. Why? There are many reasons but the most important one is being safe not only with your partner but more importantly with yourself. Consent is [...]

6 comments Posted by LadySneak | Posted in: Safety

In Readiness – Scene Care and Aftercare

Whether you are preparing for a scene or well into aftercare it’s always handy to have tools and resources at hand that can help you through all the stages of the play time many of us adore. I’ve gathered a list of the articles and essays on this site that are related to scene care [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Play and Sex
Conquer Me Book Club – Week 3

Conquer Me Book Club – Week 3

You’ve finished the book! I definitely want to know what you thought about it in the comments. The last chapters were excellent as far as working through surrender, negotiation, discussing abuse, 24/7 living and staying on track. I think these chapters had more bulk to them than previous ones as far as necessary content. Here [...]

6 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Roundtable Discussions
Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner: Part 3- My Partner is Interested!

Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner: Part 3- My Partner is Interested!

In part 1 of this series of articles we examined the initial approach for discussing your submissive desires with your vanilla partner. In  part 2 we examined how to address the issue if your partner does not respond positively to the initial approach. In this final part 3 we examine how to proceed if your vanilla [...]

3 comments Posted by ted_subby | Posted in: Relationships
A Safe Call Could Save Your Life: How to Set It Up

A Safe Call Could Save Your Life: How to Set It Up

From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 3-3-12 I was talking with a Dominant the other day about safe calls and how I feel that they are vital for a novice submissive when meeting someone new, especially when they are so inexperienced in the lifestyle as most tend to be. What he said in response, floored me. [...]

8 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Safety
Fantastic Submissive Videos for Learning and Growth on Kink Academy

Fantastic Submissive Videos for Learning and Growth on Kink Academy

From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 2-4-12 If you can’t get out to munches in your community or conventions held around the world the next best thing is a website focused on kink education. I have nothing but praise for Kink Academy and the quality educators and topics that they cover on Kink Academy.  Here at Submissive [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Newsletter Archive
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