Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

Articles for tag 'needs'

Articles

Help! My Dominant Says and Does Things I Didn’t Agree To

Help! My Dominant Says and Does Things I Didn’t Agree To

My Dominant is constantly changing the rules of the relationship and I don’t agree with them. I love him and don’t want to give him up but I am starting to question if he ever really loved me at all?

1 comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything
The Art of Apology: Knowing When to Apologize

The Art of Apology: Knowing When to Apologize

How do you know when you owe someone an apology? Continuing kallista’s series on apologizing with knowing when an apology is necessary.

Leave a comment Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics
The Art of Apology: The Importance of Apologizing

The Art of Apology: The Importance of Apologizing

Apologizing to someone lets that person know that you care more for them than you do for the outcome of a disagreement; being able to recognize when we’re wrong—or having someone else recognize that they were wrong—can give closure to situations that might otherwise continue to have a negative impact on the relationship.

Leave a comment Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics
A Mentoring Checklist: What to Expect in a Mentor

A Mentoring Checklist: What to Expect in a Mentor

In the last month or so I have begun to seek a mentor and have been approached about being a mentor myself, a position which I accepted. As these events unfolded, I experienced a lot of flak from the online community – why would a submissive need a mentor if she already has a Dom? [...]

2 comments Posted by andyiccee | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Relationships
Why Isn’t Our Relationship Going Anywhere?

Why Isn’t Our Relationship Going Anywhere?

My boyfriend and I have only recently taken the baby steps from a vanilla relationship to a D/s one. I feel like I’ve followed all the suggested steps about how to transition a relationship, I follow submissive guide religiously, I’ve read lots of books and done plenty of research. We’ve talked and set down guidelines. [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything
Dominant Is Asking for More Time than I Can Give

Dominant Is Asking for More Time than I Can Give

Hi Luna. I’m a sub and I have an online Dom. We have a lot of fun together but he wants far more time and play from me than I can afford to give. I told him this but he still wants more. I don’t want to hurt him and I don’t want to leave [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything
What Do You Mean When You Say Communicate? I am Communicating!

What Do You Mean When You Say Communicate? I am Communicating!

Communicate. Communicate. Communicate. People in the D/s and BDSM lifestyles love to say this word. We emphasize that it’s the cornerstone of the relationship, that it is the key to a successful relationship and that negotiation, a form of communication, needs to be done on a regular basis depending on the situation and relationship type. [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics

Why Identifying Your Wants and Needs is So Important as a Novice Submissive

Wants and needs. As novice submissives we hear this phrase over and over. Make sure you know your wants and needs. Does this person or that person fulfill your wants and needs? How should we talk about our wants and needs with someone? First, let’s define them. Need: Something that is not negotiable for a [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics
© Stugriffith | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

Are There Basic Expectations in a Dominant That I Should Look For?

Weeding through the number of messages in your inbox asking to get to know you better is a daunting task to most single people, and being submissive looking for a Dominant is no different. Well, perhaps it’s a little different. The compatibility that you are looking for as a submissive is more specific and challenging. [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Relationships
4 Things You Should Not Put Up With Just Because He’s a Dominant

4 Things You Should Not Put Up With Just Because He’s a Dominant

I’ve been in relationships before. I know how they should work, or at least I think I do. Sometimes I wonder if everyone has forgotten how things are supposed to work just because they are in a D/s relationship instead of a vanilla one. Many of the questions on social networking for kinky people stems [...]

4 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Coming Out to Friends: Time to Reveal Your Kinky/Submissive Side

Coming Out to Friends: Time to Reveal Your Kinky/Submissive Side

Ever since realizing my role in the lifestyle, I have been faced with a lot of…decisions that I’ve had to make. In some instances, I’ve had no issues with making those decisions. But then there are those instances where the decisions I’ve had to make, aren’t always so easy to make. I’ve had to put [...]

7 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Beginner Basics

Making Him the Dom of Your Dreams – Working With The Man You Have

Oftentimes we find our desire to be submissive or kinky when we are already in a relationship and are not sure really how to proceed with that. It can come as a shock to try to force your desires on your partner and if you address the subject without their thoughts in mind it could [...]

6 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Relationships
Ask lunaKM – Consideration Periods, Apologetic Sympathy and Sub in the Bedroom – Equal in Everything Else

Ask lunaKM – Consideration Periods, Apologetic Sympathy and Sub in the Bedroom – Equal in Everything Else

Hi lunaKM, I’m semi new to m/s relationships and my new dom and i have been together for a month now. I wanted to know how long does a consideration period last, and should I wait for him to bring up being collared? We agreed to take it slow but we are still very much [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything
Broken Vows: When Vanilla Marriage Falls Apart Because of Kink

Broken Vows: When Vanilla Marriage Falls Apart Because of Kink

I was married before my relationship with my Master, KnyghtMare. We fell in love when dating online was still an unusual thing. We courted and dated for years before we got married. Marriage seemed to be the inevitable next step, so we did that too. Our sex life was very much kink-lite. For the most [...]

41 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Relationships
Submitting in a Long Distance Relationship: The Big Meet

Submitting in a Long Distance Relationship: The Big Meet

As I mentioned in my introduction to this series, online submission is a bit of a hot-button among D/s practitioners. There are a lot of great arguments for why it doesn’t work, and for each of those, there’s an equally strong counterargument for why it’s a perfectly valid arrangement; but chances are, unless you’re submitting [...]

5 comments Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Relationships, Safety
Ask lunaKM – Another Batch of Quick Answers

Ask lunaKM – Another Batch of Quick Answers

Hi Luna! Do you feel that another submissive would be a better Mentor to a novice submissive rather than another Dominant? I personally feel that a person of similar role to you can advise and mentor you better than someone who could be your Dominant. So if you are a slave, you should have a [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything
Developing Effective Communication in Long Distance Relationships

Developing Effective Communication in Long Distance Relationships

To say that communication is important in a relationship is like saying that man must breathe to live: one simply shouldn’t have to specify its importance. Yet somehow, although I have never heard of a person who died because he forgot how to breathe, I have seen many relationships fall apart due to a distinct [...]

4 comments Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Online Submission

Chat Night Transcript from Pervertables Talk with FroggyKM

Chat night transcript from the Pervertables Chat with froggyKM on  7/16/13 froggyKM: ok lets get things started! Hello and welcome to another chat night here on Submissive Guide. Please feel free to talk about the subject whenever a thought comes to mind, this is not a moderated talk and you do not have to ask [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Views & More...
When Your Owner’s Home Grows: The Impact of Having Additional Live-in Dominants and submissives

When Your Owner’s Home Grows: The Impact of Having Additional Live-in Dominants and submissives

To look at perhaps a more advanced topic that also does not get a lot of play when we are speaking about those of us in 24/7 service arrangements with children present; this month we are going to talk about Homes with multiple s-types and D-types. By far and away not a common arrangement, there [...]

2 comments Posted by malak Briar-rose | Posted in: Relationships

Chat Night Transcript – Dominant Aftercare

from the Submissive Guide Chat held 7/09/13 on Aftercare for Dominants [20:10] <~lunaKM> Hello and welcome to another chat night here on Submissive Guide. Please feel free to talk about the subject whenever a thought comes to mind, this is not a moderated talk and you do not have to ask permission to speak or [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Roundtable Discussions
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