By nan {SL} on September 1, 2010
BDSM immediately conjures up images of a whip-wielding Dominatrix punishing some poor submissive who is screaming in pain. As delightful as that image is, not everyone who is a bottom or submissive is in this lifestyle to experience pain. It must be daunting for the newbie who does not enjoy pain to come to a [...]
Posted in Playtime, Submission | Tagged bdsm play, control, enduring pain, energy, eroticizing pain, experience, learning, masochist, pain dispersement methods, play, reactions, sadist, SM |
By lunaKM on August 25, 2010
Q: I am a relatively new submissive. I have had two previous D/s relationships. One was ended suddenly – just a week or so after being given a collar, he suddenly disappeared from my life with no explanation. I have since realised that the collar came without any understandings or pre-requisites should have been a [...]
Posted in Novice Q & A | Tagged expectations, learning, needs, novice, questions, safe words, SehAnru, trust, wants |
By lunaKM on July 12, 2010
From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 4/10/10 One of the most feared activities of a novice is getting up the nerve to meet other people face to face. Yet this is one of the first things that I and many others recommend for those wishing to get into BDSM. I encourage people to learn all they [...]
Posted in Newsletter Archive, Social Norms | Tagged activities, discussion, event, first time, groups, learning, local community, munch, munches, nerves |
By lunaKM on May 17, 2010
From The Submissive Guide Newsletter 11-7-09 When I admitted that I had crossed into adulthood, somewhere around 23, I realized that the manners that had not been instilled in me as a child hindered my interactions with people. I appeared crude and rude and immature. Since that defining moment I have found my manners and [...]
Posted in Mindset, Newsletter Archive | Tagged Emily Post, etiquette, learning, miss manners, serving, submissive guide newsletter, training |
By lunaKM on May 3, 2010
This is a response to the following request for advice: I have a Dom, and He loves me. But the things is, sometimes he act as my “boyfriend” then he acts as my Master. I am having trouble dealing with the fact that he wants that Master and sub relationship as my utmost and foremost [...]
Posted in Relationships | Tagged advice, blind faith, challenges, defining roles, learning, novice, power exchange, questions, understanding |
By lunaKM on April 28, 2010
This month I have a few new questions for you! As always, if you have questions you’d like answered then shoot me an email and I’ll do my best to help you out! If you find that you have another piece of advice to give that I may have overlooked please leave a comment. Your [...]
Posted in Novice Q & A | Tagged advice, learning, novice, pain threshold, play, questions, safewords |
By lunaKM on March 3, 2010
In January I had a poll in the sidebar asking readers like you what books you’d like to see me review for Submissive Guide. The overwhelming response was that you wanted me to review The Submissive Activity Book: Building Blocks To Better Service by Shannon Reilly. I received the 184 page book without expectations of [...]
Posted in Reviews | Tagged amazon.com, book review, budgeting, learning, personal growth, protocol, self-help, Shannon Reilly, skills, structure, submissive activity book |
By lunaKM on January 5, 2010
A year ago I started a small blog project called Submissive Guide. I wanted it to be an organized place where I could voice my opinions about submission, help novices discover who they are and explore BDSM through the written word. Since that time it has grown to so much more, including an e-book, a [...]
Posted in Views & More... | Tagged 2WBSP, 7 things, aftercare, Aria, bath, bathing, BDSM, bdsm checklist, bdsm lifestyle, best of 2009, best of submissiveguide, Best Submissive Blogs, blogs, book, bottom, checklist, choice, Dom, Dominance, dominant, dominants, e-book, guest post, help, how-to, human pet, journaling, kajira, learned, learning, lifestyle, masochist, newsletter, novice, novices, online, Online Submission, opinion, owned, pet play, pets, play, positions, resume, ritual, rituals, rosary, rt, rules, scene, Service, skylerpet, slave, slave training, sub drop, submission, submissive, submissive blogs, Submissive Positions, top posts, topping from the bottom, training, Training Resume, two dominants, websites, writing |
By lunaKM on December 16, 2009
“I have a fetish for wool socks, I just love them!” “I have a fetish for corsets, I can’t get off without thinking of them!” One of these statements is a sure sign of a fetish; the other is a misuse of the term. Sure this is a poor example. How many times have you [...]
Posted in Playtime | Tagged BDSM, blogs, body parts, cons, corsets, desires, development, Dom, dominant, favorite, fetishes, fetishism, fetishist, foot fetish, gender, hands, health, latex, learning, leather, love, obsession, partialism, piercing, play, preference, relationship, role play, rt, safe, sex, sexual fetishes, sexual fetishism, share, size, speech, standing, stimulus, stress, submissive, understanding, what is a fetish, worship |
By Guest Author on November 16, 2009
This is a Guest Post by A. She is a new submissive in her first 24/7 dynamic. I received this wonderfully written review of her first 30 days and she offered to share it with everyone here. Enjoy! It has come to my attention after reading submissiveguide.com that my training with Sir has already begun, [...]
Posted in Submission | Tagged 24/7, acceptance, BDSM, Bondage, clean, cleaning, clothing, control, D/s, Dom, Dominance, dress, dynamic, experience, favorite, fetlife, focus, grooming, growth and development, guest post, hands, help, honesty, infraction, kneeling, learned, learning, lingerie, love, natural, needs, online, orgasm control, play, positions, progress, protocol, punishment, RACK, relationship, requests, review, risk, ritual, rituals, rt, sex, share, spanking, speech, submission, submissive, submissive understanding, toy, toys, training, understanding, wants, worship, writing |
By lunaKM on November 6, 2009
When you get married, you have to legally sign a document attesting to your decision to be married. The legal document can come in many forms but most have a brief section about what each party declares for the union, how they will treat each other and how commitment will be displayed (change of names [...]
Posted in Relationships, Rituals and Routines | Tagged Aria, BDSM, book, commitment, connection, cons, consensual, contracts, control, D/s, D/s contracts, Dom, Domme, dress, experience, IRC, learning, lifestyle, links, m/s, play, protocol, purpose, relationship, renewable contracts, ritual, rt, rules, short, slave, slavery, spirit, spiritual, structure, submission, switch |
By lunaKM on November 4, 2009
So, you want me to tell you how you can tell if you are submissive or not? Asking someone else if you are submissive is like asking a blind man what color your dress is. Is there some magical online quiz that can say whether you are submissive or slave? Unfortunately no and I don’t [...]
Posted in Submission | Tagged book, choice, choices, community, connection, control, Dom, Dominance, dominant, dress, experience, happiness, help, inclination, learned, learning, Mindset, natural, online, personal choices, poses, prayer, questions, relationship, religion, ritual, rt, Service, serving, sex, slave, spirit, spiritual, standing, stimulus, submission, submissive, trust, understanding |
By lunaKM on October 15, 2009
lunaKM> So, first I’d like to get some impression about how new you are to submission. Could you please tell me how long you have been exploring submission and if you are in a relationship right now? lunaKM> hello aquamuse aquamuse> Hello, I’m new of course. eagerslut> I am in a relationship and just recently [...]
Posted in Views & More... | Tagged 24/7, activities, BDSM, book, bottom, calendar, chat, chat night, choice, choices, classes, clean, connection, cons, control, D/s, Dom, Dominance, dominant, dominants, Domme, dress, event, events, experience, focus, grace, growth, health, help, IRC, kneeling, learned, learning, lifestyle, love, m/s, marriage, mentor, natural, needs, newsletter, online, perfection, pride, purpose, relationship, requests, Resources, routine, rt, rules, separation, Service, serving, sex, sharing, shaving, shower, size, slave, stress, submission, submissive, submissive chat, surrender, tall, tasks, tips, training, transcript, writing |
By lunaKM on October 6, 2009
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE – Please cross-post Welcome to the 3rd Annual Submissive Journey Weekend… I am proud to announce that registration for the next Submissive Journey Weekend is now open. We cordially invite those who identify as submissive, slave, girl, boi /boy, bottom, pup, etc. to a weekend of learning, growth and support. All genders, [...]
Posted in Views & More... | Tagged BDSM event, bottom, classes, discussion, educational opportunities, event, experience, focus, gender, growth, information, journey, learning, love, questions, relationship, rt, Service, sex, sexual orientation, share, SJW, skills, slave, submissive, submissive event, submissive journey weekend, support, training |
By lunaKM on September 25, 2009
So, you’ve met submissives and slaves online, their Dominant and Master counterparts but as you get to know them and how they interact you start to see the things they do blurring the lines of what you had believed a submissive was, or that a slave wasn’t supposed to act this way, etc. It brings [...]
Posted in Social Norms, Submission | Tagged comfort, definitions, Dom, dominant, help, labels, learning, lifestyle, munch, novice, novices, online, rt, slave, submission, submissive |
By lunaKM on September 1, 2009
If you have ever wondered how you can get the spanking you’ve always wanted but wasn’t sure how to ask for it, there is a book for you. I was just offered the chance to review a copy of How to Get the Spanking You Want: The Complete Guide to Asking for It, Getting It [...]
Posted in BDSM Basics, Views & More... | Tagged abuse, advice, Aria, blogs, book, books, bottom, caning, choice, clean, desires, discipline, Disciplined Feminist, Dom, e-book, emotions, experience, fear, focus, gender, gender roles, grace, help, history, learning, lifestyle, little girl, love, marks, real life, relationship, Resources, review, roles, rt, safe, series, share, size, spanking, spanking series, standing, tips, training, understanding, Variant Books, Vivian |
By lunaKM on August 31, 2009
A few months ago I started a list of things you can do to improve your submission immediately. If you want to see what’s in that list, you can find that post in the archives. I’d like to continue to add to that list because there are always things you can do but may not [...]
Posted in Submission | Tagged 2WBSP, 7 things, bath, book, Dom, dominant, dreams, fantasy, favorite, fidgeting, focus, grace, health, improvements, kneeling, learning, poses, positions, rt, self-improvement, series, Service, sex, share, submission, submissive, Submissive Positions, tips, wants |
By lunaKM on August 14, 2009
A check in is where either partner provides clues as to their comfort, pain tolerance, pleasure level or other information during a scene or play session. Even the most experienced players continue to check in with their partners during play; it is a good practice to have. Whether you are playing with your partner or [...]
Posted in BDSM Basics, Playtime | Tagged body language, bottom, comfort, cons, Dom, dominant, emotional state, experience, implement, information, learning, negotiation, pain tolerance, partners, play, player, Playtime, questions, relationship, requests, rt, safe, scene, share, simple questions, submissive, subspace, tone of your voice, warnings |
By lunaKM on August 12, 2009
Since the beginning of Submissive Guide I have been writing essays to help you build your service/submissive/slave resume. This is the living document of your experience and training on different tasks and a variety of relationships. If you are interested in reading the previous posts about the Training Resume I suggest you start at the [...]
Posted in Training Resume | Tagged a grateful slave, activities, BDSM, bdsm activities, blogs, book, books, clean, cleaning, dates, development, Dom, dominant, essays, etiquette, experience, green cleaning, growth, Guy Baldwin, help, how-to, learning, library, newsletter, obedience, online, opinion, reading list, relationship, Relationships, Resources, resume, review, rt, Service, share, skills, slave, slavecraft, submissive, surrender, tasks, titles, training, Training Resume, transparency, viewpoints, websites, writing, writing essays |
Want more? Get my free report "Wants and Needs: How to Get What You Need and Ask For What You Want"...
This month I'd like to feature Protocols: Handbook for the female slave by Robert Rubel PhD. A book on protocol in a D/s Leather Household.
My name is lunaKM and I’m a full-time submissive in a D/s relationship. I am webslut to 
