Do You Answer When Submission Calls You?

There is no way to be sure but, the large majority of information about the D/s lifestyle is in fiction form. While it’s nice to escape into emotional and physical stories, they are fantasy. For submissives looking to get their feet wet, these stories could hinder or harm the very ideas that develop in the brain as far as how things really are. Fictional material leaves gaping holes in your understanding of submission and the D/s dynamic. The more experienced submissive will find BDSM fiction to be mostly useless and uninteresting. So many will say that it is nothing similar to what they do day after day for those they serve.

What we need to do is establish a visible understanding of what submission is like to those looking through the fantasy for the reality of it all. Submissive Guide does try to portray it with as little sugar-coating as possible. I look to people who experience things that I don’t for information that can benefit you. I write about topics that are timely and yet timeless. There will always be novice submissives, and I hope that Submissive Guide will always be there to lead them along the real path.

But what about you? Do you listen to your heart and that voice inside telling you what you should and could be doing? Is there a call to bend your knee to someone special? I’m not here to tell you that my submission is better than yours or that your submission is not as deep as mine is; I’m here to guide you to YOUR perfect submission.

Getting Started

There are tools and resources aplenty if you want to start out in D/s. There are even more access points if you enter a local munch group or social outing for BDSM practitioners.  Seek them out and feed your curiosity, don’t wait for them to come to you. Let your new life start now. Take that step.  Ask questions, lots of questions and not just to other people. I highly recommend talking to yourself about what you are learning. Many submissives do this in a journal, but as long as you are having these conversations you can develop your perceptions on submission. Submission is sensual and erotic, it is peaceful and loving but most of all it feels right when you found the mix that’s right for you.

So, look into the fiction that you hear about, The Story of O, The Beauty Trilogy, The Marketplace Series. I encourage you to read them all. See what fiction has created as far as the lifestyle and submission. What parts of it do you like and why? What would you like in your own submission? Just because something is written as fiction does not mean you can’t make it a part of your real submission.

Enhancing Your Spirit

Once you’ve found your path to submission it’s not time to relax and enjoy the ride, although you may be tempted. The most honorable submissives will tell you that what is valued more is a submissive willing to enhance their submission with new training, wider viewpoints, better understandings of nature, the world and the one they serve. Engage in polite debate with others about terms or ideas, generate opinions about different topics and be prepared to defend them. Create your personal submissive identity.

A submissive is not just a piece of property like a desk or a chair. A submissive improves with age, refines themselves, enriches the lives they touch. Much like a fine wine, although not kept on the shelf to collect dust and then once decanted is gone. The thirst for growth is infectious and innate in many submissives; some work hard for what they learn.

Answering The Call

So when you step foot into submission, don’t make it a passive affair. Engage your senses into your new life. Take charge of how you want your submission to grow and develop. Enhance your life with the talents you have, and try hard to use all of the passion and pleasure you can muster to not only make your Dominant happy, but yourself. Find that fulfillment.

In submission, you can find love… love for yourself. Answer that call.

A slave’s life is mostly composed of patience and study. Yes, study. If not with actual books, then following the example of greater, senior slaves. Or learning every nuance of their owner’s character, so that they can more completely and seamlessly offer themselves at the right time and in the right manner. — Laura Antoniou

photo by Dawn Ashley

Beginning Your Training Resume

A training resume is just another name for a folder where you are going to start keeping your list of training achieved, history and important documents. Much like the training folders mentioned in The Marketplace series by Laura Antoniou you can build a file on yourself to offer your current or future dominant partner(s). Throughout the course of this program you will learn how to write your own files, learn to focus your training in the direction you wish to go and develop a personal development plan for your own growth.

It all begins with the basic information that all dominant request of a submissive when they are first getting to know someone. This is known as a basic profile. Personal basic profiles are a great way to distill information in an interesting and digestible format.The process to writing a personal profile are to intrigue the reader about the person it is written about.

1. Be Concise and condense – No one needs to know everything in every small detail about you in a profile. Try to say it in as few words as possible.
2. Choose your adjectives – Use a thesaurus if you need to. Find words that clearly state what you want to say.
3. Choose specific terms – ‘I like sports’ is not nearly as clear as ‘I like soccer’. Make sure you express yourself completely.
4. Write in outline format – Outline format is easier to follow and give a snapshot of what you are like.
5. Present a 3D image of yourself – Don’t just focus on a few aspects of your life.
6. Be honest – Don’t lie or exaggerate.
7. Take pride in who you are – Use positive words but do not brag.

Some information you may want to include:

• personality (choose 3 power words)
• likes/dislikes
  • food
  • entertainment
  • activities
  • hobbies
  • music
• family life
• education
• religion/spirituality/beliefs
• causes you are active in
• living situation
  • environment
  • location
• pet peeves (You can learn a lot about a person on this issue alone.)
• goals/dreams/plans
  • professional
  • personal
• travel
• hope to accomplish
• family structure or size (i.e. ‘Would like to have 5 kids.’)
• unusual experiences (i.e. ‘Worked in the peace corps in the Sudan,’ ‘went to Germany in school,’ ’survived a severe storm,’ ‘met famous person,’ ‘home-schooled kids.’)
• what is important to you (i.e. ’saving money to help the needy’ or ‘protect the environment.’)
• talents or skills
  • musical
  • artistic
  • sports
  • drama
• groups or affiliations or online communities you belong to (another way to learn about someone)

Once you get the basics together you can start developing your training history. We’ll start putting that together in future posts.

Building your Training Resume

1. Beginning Your Training Resume
2. Recording Your Training History
3. Recording Your Completed Training
4. Mapping Out Your Ideal Submission
5. The BDSM Checklist that will Really Help You
6. Add Your Reading List
7. Add Cons, Classes and Events