Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

Articles for tag 'dynamics'

Articles

Strong and Submissive: Exploring the Phenomenon of Strong Female Submissives

Strong and Submissive: Exploring the Phenomenon of Strong Female Submissives

About half of us are like me – powerful energetic women who love to submit. I become even more of the strong woman that I am outside the bedroom, the strong woman who revels both in her strength and in her submission.

7 comments Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Mindset
How Often Have You Said: “I Don’t Know What’s Expected of Me, But I’d Like To”?

How Often Have You Said: “I Don’t Know What’s Expected of Me, But I’d Like To”?

Let me tell you what you can do to make sure you are better informed before you enter a relationship and shortly after you’ve found a Dominant to submit to so your question of what is expected of you can be answered as fully as possible.

Ornamental Value: A Reflection on My Submissive Style

Ornamental Value: A Reflection on My Submissive Style

Living with my Dom for a longer period of time has allowed us to develop some rough routines and expectations that we’ll continue to develop as time progresses, and these have begun to help me form answers to the questions that I’ve been asking on and off from the beginning of my submission.

1 comment Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Coming Out As Kinky: Food for Thought

Coming Out As Kinky: Food for Thought

This past winter I ran an educational event through the campus Women’s Center on BDSM in response to Fifty Shades of Grey. With the movie coming out I knew that people would be interested in the topic and consider trying it themselves and I wanted them to be safe about it. I covered the basics [...]

2 comments Posted by andyiccee | Posted in: BDSM Fundamentals, Personal Growth, Relationships
Micromanagement and Macromanagement: What’s the Difference?

Micromanagement and Macromanagement: What’s the Difference?

Awhile ago, I was talking to a friend of mine and asked her if she had any good topic ideas because it’s good to have outside influences and she suggested micromanaging vs proactivity. I got super excited because, it’s an awesome topic. I figured it would be a rather easy topic to write about, but [...]

2 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: BDSM Glossary, Relationships
The Myth of the 24/7 Submissive Mindset (and Why So Many of Us Struggle)

The Myth of the 24/7 Submissive Mindset (and Why So Many of Us Struggle)

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 10/12/13 I’ve noticed a lot of questions in FetLife recently (and almost always) about how to maintain the mindset in a 24/7 relationship. I’ve not responded to these there because I’ve created this article as my reply. The advice that the people have received may or may not help them. [...]

Daddy-Little Girl Dynamics: It’s Not Easy Being A Little

Daddy-Little Girl Dynamics: It’s Not Easy Being A Little

I don’t know about you, but when I was child, I didn’t always think it was all that easy. I remember grownups all around me telling me how “easy I had it” and to “just wait until I became an adult” because that’s when life would start getting hard. I would always look at them [...]

16 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Relationships
Male submission – Financial Domination

Male submission – Financial Domination

Financial Domination is an area of BDSM which often elicits strong opinions. With other BDSM activities such as spanking and bondage, at some point after the Safe, Sane, and Consensual scene is over there is no damage done and things are typically physically back to the way they were. However, if a sub’s money is [...]

24 comments Posted by ted_subby | Posted in: Male Submission, Relationships
Ask lunaKM – Pushing Limits, Exploring as a Top and Talking to Therapists

Ask lunaKM – Pushing Limits, Exploring as a Top and Talking to Therapists

Dear lunaKM, I am a new submissive.  I have been in a relationship with my Dominant for about a year.  I am struggling because my Dominant wants me to explore and push my limits.  He knows that I have had group sex experiences in my past and that they were not positive.   He knows [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything
The Role of a Collar in a Long Distance D/s Relationship

The Role of a Collar in a Long Distance D/s Relationship

Welcome kallista to Submissive Guide contributors! It’s no secret that having a working long distance relationship is a challenge, even under the most traditional circumstances, but when the dynamics of your relationship are dependent upon the delicate balance of give and take between Dominant and submissive, the potential challenges that you face increase tenfold. When [...]

2 comments Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Online Submission
Why Would Any Submissive Want to be Micromanaged?

Why Would Any Submissive Want to be Micromanaged?

from The Submissive Guide Newsletter 2/16/13 When fantasies abound about slavery they often go something like this: The slave is always nude, chained or caged waiting for the Master to decide what to do with them. They make no decisions themselves, the Master declares that he will tell them when to eat, sleep and piss. [...]

4 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Newsletter Archive
Male Submission – Foot Fetish

Male Submission – Foot Fetish

In this part 3 of my series of articles about Male Submission on The Submissive Guide, I discuss the role of a foot fetish. There are a whole lot of guys who have a fetish for feet, and while there are women who also have a foot fetish it is by far more prevalent with [...]

11 comments Posted by ted_subby | Posted in: Male Submission, Play and Sex
Male Submission – Fantasy vs Reality

Male Submission – Fantasy vs Reality

In part 1 of my series of articles on male submission I wrote about one archetype of male submission “The Worm.”  For clarification, a large majority of male submissives do not fit that mindset as there are plenty of other dynamics. However, one topic which is common to many male submissives is that the fantasy [...]

25 comments Posted by ted_subby | Posted in: Male Submission
What Everyone Ought to Know About Finding and Managing Limits

What Everyone Ought to Know About Finding and Managing Limits

From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 12/1/12 We are surrounded by boundaries and fences, limits and “do no pass” signs. Everything we do has limitations and restrictions. So, it may come as no surprise that you too have limits that you will not cross; be it in your relationship or pertaining to sex and play. Some [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Play and Sex
Learning from D/s Neighbors

Learning from D/s Neighbors

Me and my neighbor are submissive while our wives are the dominants. When wives visit each other for coffee and chat, we (the husbands) mind the kids. My wife is less dominant than his wife and I am less submissive than him. But, since we knew them a few months ago, my wife started to [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships
Developing Trust  in Your Dominant and The Proper Use of a Safe Word

Developing Trust in Your Dominant and The Proper Use of a Safe Word

Have you ever wondered why we use safe words in this lifestyle? I have pondered that a time or two and have always come to conclusion that it is what makes this lifestyle safe. Without them we are bordering on harming the other person if we go too far. It is important to develop a [...]

9 comments Posted by LadySneak | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Play and Sex
Altered Submissive Speech – Thoughts and Ideas on How to Implement Third Person Speech and other Protocols

Altered Submissive Speech – Thoughts and Ideas on How to Implement Third Person Speech and other Protocols

I was once an online submissive. I know a bit about the language and grammar rules that reside there. They are creative and interesting and serve their purpose online. When you bring them into real life they get more annoying, but in some relationships and dynamics they still serve their purpose. What language adjustments am [...]

10 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Community

Online Finds

The items listed below are books and worksheets produced by others that I have found across the internet. This list is always changing as things come and go on the internet. I can not guarantee that these items will always be available so download your copy now! Butler’s Book Template – .doc by a slave [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in:

What Type of Relationship Are You In [Poll Results]

Last month I had a poll on the right side about the types of relationships you are engaged in. I’m happy to see such a variety of relationship dynamics representative here. I identify as submissive in a D/s relationship, but I’ve had people mistake me as being a slave in a Master/slave relationship. I love [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Relationships

Know Your Manners when Visiting D/s Friends

Accepting an invitation to visit friends that are into BDSM or the lifestyle can lead to a wonderful experience and the development of close friends. That is if you keep yourself aware of house rules and relationship dynamics.  Generally speaking, a couple of D/s friends are not going to drop their dynamic around you since [...]

2 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Community
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